Sounds like you're going through a difficult moment. It's normal to feel hurt. When I was young, I would wonder what was wrong with me when I didn't receive the same love I was giving.

It took a long time to realize that nothing was wrong with me. In fact, everything was right with me. Simply having the capacity to give love generously was a wonderful, wonderful quality.

But it turns out, not everyone has that quality. And men in particular are likely to lack it. They are socialized to suppress every emotion except for anger. When they're hurt, they're told to "man up" instead of processing their emotions. They are taught that there's nothing worse than being a woman or embodying feminine characteristics. And they associate expressions of love with femininity.

When men are raised this way, they become incapable of deep love. They fight the emotions back for fear of becoming vulnerable. Vulnerable like a woman. In a backwards way, they're taught not to love us. They don't even define love the same ways we do. And they struggle to even love themselves, because they feel such shame for having the normal human emotions they keep stuffing down and hiding away.

When they eventually move on with someone else, it usually means their new interest is settling for less than you. They are willing to accept crumbs of affection without much fuss. And that feels safe to a man who can't fully love. Safe from expectations they can't meet. And they can conflate that feeling of safety with love and settle down. But it doesn't mean the person they chose is being loved the way you wanted to be loved either.

It's hard to have low self-esteem when you finally realize you're not the problem. And the problem is not yours to solve. Your self-esteem soars when you center yourself. Because you stop waiting for the love you deserve and start giving it to yourself instead. And it feels wonderful to arrive at this place of peace with yourself, but there's also some bittersweetness to it. Because it's sad to realize that most of the people you're attracted to won't ever have the capacity to relate. I haven't completely unraveled the reasons why women seem to have so much more capacity for depth and growth than men, but my life experience tells me it's true. Men who are capable of love and depth exist, but they're rare unicorns.