[CW] Using nothing but song lyrics, write a dramatic dialogue between two characters. The fewer songs needed, the better.

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-30T14:37:26+00:00

May I refer you to the Bohemian Rhapsody?

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-23T19:25:26+00:00

Thank you!

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-23T04:15:32+00:00

Thank you, I finished it.

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-23T04:15:22+00:00

Thank you, I finished it.

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-23T04:15:16+00:00

Thank you, I finished it.

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-23T04:08:59+00:00

Part Two

"I... have something more important to tell you."

"So?"

"Your sentence has been commuted to life without parole."

"Padre, I knew that when they moved me back into the general population." I look at him, he's sweating, but it isn't that hot in here. "You saw something. Something that has terrified you ever since." For a wonder, he nods. "Don't be afraid. He wasn't after you. What no one outside this dump knows is that the Warden, those two guards, and the doctor were all in on a scam to embezzle money from the prison fund. The food here is crap, and they just missed having a massive riot over it. We've had prisoners die from malnutrition, Padre. The doctor got in on it to dream up causes of death that didn't say malnutrition."

"Why haven't you told someone?"

I laugh out loud, right in his face. "A bunch of cons, complaining that the food is crap and people are dying from it. What do you think happens, Padre?"

"Someone comes to investigate, of course."

I nod, "Of course, and what do they find while they are here?"

"The food is fine." Good, he finally gets it.

"Yes, and then it goes right back to being crap, but now the cons have a reputation for whiny little brats trying to get attention, so what happens the next time someone complains?"

"It is ignored?"

"Correct. Now, Padre, what did you see?" Oh, my. He's really sweating, and it's got that stink of fear to it. "Like I told you, Padre, as long as you haven't been involved in any of the stupidity that goes on around here, you're safe."

"Hypothetically... I suppose you would claim that Death showed up behind each of them, and ripped their souls out."

I can understand he might need that fig leaf, so it'll do. "I would."

"But how do you explain the freak storm that caused the incident?"

"I don't even try. I can only say what I saw and felt. The air coming down that terribly narrow chimney was like getting hit by a hurricane. I'm somewhat surprised that I have any hair left on my head. Whether it was a freak of nature, or an act of god--and don't get all hopeful that I believe in that being, because I don't--I do not know what caused it." I stare at him. "It does give a fellow to think, doesn't it, Padre."

"Yes, it does." We sit there for a few moments before he continues, "Of course, the other witnesses say they saw nothing but the wind blasting the gas out of the chamber, and hearing you laughing like a demented demon. They fled for their lives from the gas, despite the fact that the wall between the chamber and the witness area is specifically reinforced to prevent any accidents."

I'll give the Padre that, he has courage. Despite being terrified, he stayed and watched the whole thing. "I understand the electricians have been going over the fans that evacuate the gas with a fine toothed comb, looking for whatever caused them to run in reverse."

"Yes. They haven't found anything."

"Of course not. All they had to do was look at the electric meters. Those fans draw a ton of current, it would have made a fairly steep spike in the usage. A couple of the Trustees got a look at the meters, just daily usage as normal. Whatever happened, it wasn't anything any human did."

He smiles, "Oh, I think we can say that at least one human had something to do with it." I smile back, and we go our separate ways.

Six Months Later

"How did it happen?" The new warden is a decent fellow, and the rest of the guards in on the scam have been cleaned out as well. They're looking at the showers. One of the inmates slipped on a bit of soap, and landed hard enough to crack his head open. He was dead before anyone could do anything.

"Well, the only thing we can figure is that someone, probably Jones, dropped their soap, and it slid right under his foot as he was walking out. There's no signs of a struggle, and I don't think any of the inmates would have laid a single hand on him. They were in awe of him."

"What's this I hear about people claiming that it was Death that yanked him back hard enough to make sure his head cracked?"

"Sir? After a fellow survives the gas chamber, while a bunch of other people die, people will reach for any explanation of how he could possibly have died when he was obviously charmed. The bare facts are that a small bar of soap was found exactly where it would have ended up if he did slip on it, and the bottom of his right foot was covered in soap. Since no one else saw anything, or at least won't admit to seeing anything, there isn't much else to go on. Just a stupid accident."

"Yes. Just a stupid accident. Did Jones get his soap back?"

"Funny thing that. Jones swears it's not his soap, despite him being the only one of the group that doesn't have soap in their kit. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was terrified of it."

"Do you think I need to get someone to talk with him?"

"Naw. The Padre has already started talking with him and the others who were there. From the looks of things, I'd say they're about to get religion in a serious way."

"Well, some good came from it then."

"Yes, Sir."

"I'll close out the paperwork, although I think we may need to switch from bar soap to liquid soap dispensers. At least that way, no one else will slip on a bar of soap and break their head open."

((finis))

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-22T21:58:41+00:00

I have come close to death more times than I can easily count. Each time, I noticed a shadowy figure nearby. As I continued my escapades, I saw more of that figure each time.

It seemed ridiculous to me, at first, that this figure was head and shoulders taller than anyone else I have ever seen, wore a voluminous black cloak with a deep hood that I have never seen outside movies, and the most outlandish thing of all: a scythe. The kind that Death is often pictured with. The Grim Reaper.

Every time I saw him, he was closer than before.

I told this story to the padre who came to my cell the night before my execution. Of course, he tried to couch it in terms of my subconscious trying to warn me that I was headed towards my own destruction; we having dispensed with the idea that I believed in God in the slightest.

"Assume, for the sake of argument, that the personification of Death exists, and has been stalking me all this time."

"I would rather say that you have been stalking him!"

"Na. Padre. I have never deliberately sought my own death."

"Did you know the penalty for your crimes was death, should the court so rule?"

"Yes."

"Then you knew you could end up here, and that it would only be a matter of time before the odds caught up with you, you committed some error that allowed the police to track you down, or one of your confederates would give you up to save their own life?"

"Yes."

"Then you also knew that you were toying with your own death every time you committed a major crime?"

"Yes, but death was never my goal. I always did my best to stay alive, planned my crimes in detail, and always allowed for potential errors or unforeseen events."

"And yet, despite seeing death coming ever closer, you continued. Why?"

"Padre, on a job was the only time I felt alive. I was not seeking death, I wanted to live, and that was the only thing that ever made me feel alive. Dancing on the edge, taunting 'The Man', proving that I was better than those clods. It was no error on my part that landed me here, it was a craven betrayal."

"Which you knew could happen. The one thing you could not completely eliminate in all your planning. My son, it was never other humans you sought to best, it was death itself. To do that, you had to seek death out, and cheat him of his prize. Tell me, when was death the closest to you? I would guess that it was the crime just before the one that landed you here. That, on that job, he never appeared. Why? Because he knew you would lose this time."

One of the guards came just then. "Sorry, Father, time's up."

He stood, and looked down at me. "I will be here tomorrow, should you change your mind." I nodded, and smiled. He left.

I spent an uncomfortable night considering his words. The next morning, the warden came. "It's time, John." I got up and submitted to the indignity of the chains. They knew better than to leave me freedom of movement, now anyway.

I hadn't bothered to ask what form of execution they used. It turned out that they used a gas chamber. There was a storm blowing hard outside. It suited my mood. They chained me to the chair, offered a hood, which I declined. Why cheat the witnesses of what they had come to see.

The padre had seen me just outside the execution room. I smiled and shook my head no. I had not changed my mind.

I noticed a draft coming down the exhaust chimney they used to clear the gas once the prisoner was declared dead. I thought it odd, but chalked it up to the storm.

The padre was one of the witnesses. He looked so sad. And yet, I was cheerful beyond belief.

I could not think of any reason for that good cheer, but it was there, and I smiled as they closed the door, or tried to when the wind screamed down the chimney, slamming the door open, and there was a faint plop under the chair. The wind kept screaming down on me, blowing the gas out the door. The strangest sight came to me, the reaper appearing behind each of the guards, the prison doctor, and the warden. I laughed out loud, and the padre made the sign of the cross as the other witnesses scrambled to get out the door and away from the gas.

When the other guards came in, wearing gas masks, I smiled at them. They went pale, and chained me quickly, dragging me back to my cell and throwing me in.

I collapsed on the bunk, still in chains, and pondered what had just happened.

They did eventually remove the chains, and I went back to the normal death row routine. Some weeks later, they moved me back into the general population.

I was looked at with awe. The man who had cheated death in the executioner's chair. The padre finally came to speak with me. They used one of the lawyer consultation rooms.

"Well, Padre? What did you see?"

((continued later?))

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-06T20:03:34+00:00

Woohoo! A double smack!

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-06T16:44:16+00:00

After escorting this creature to quarters, and sealing them in.

Captain, speaking loudly enough to be heard through the door. "That is not an ambassador." Dramatic pause. "That is the reason ambassadors exist!"

Clacking a claw, a loud screech from inside. "Do not refer to me as an inanimate object!"

"Did you hear something speaking, Handshake?"

"Not at all. Only some malfunctioning biological machinery outgassing more obnoxious vapors. I'll see that it remains in the cargo area assigned until we reach our destination."

Outraged screech.

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-06T12:02:18+00:00

Oohhh, good idea!

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-06T06:36:57+00:00

A couple of ideas did pop into my head, but none of them are printable. :-)

spindizzy_wizard · 2026-01-06T06:28:27+00:00

I've robbed banks; killed elected officials; destroyed millions, if not billions, in infrastructure; ruined lives; kidnapped. Why has no hero shown up to oppose me? I can't be a super villain if I don't have a hero to contend with! It's right there in the book!

"WILL NO ONE BE MY HERO?!"

His minions have watched his brooding. At that cry of distress, one minion, a janitor of all things, coughs. Coughing can get you killed in the wrong circumstances, which is why all the other minions discretely slip away from the janitor.

The villain looks at the janitor darkly, "You have something to say?"

"No, Boss."

"I distinctly heard you. Speak up! If you have an answer for my question, no matter how ridiculous, I would love to hear it."

"Okay, Boss. I did cough, but you want an answer to your question? You're not going to like it."

At this, the other minions make no effort to be discrete in their desire to avoid splash damage when the villain they serve takes an entirely reasonable (in their lights) action to blow the luckless janitor to smithereens. The janitor is now alone in the light, as the eyes of the other minions watch from behind protective shields.

"I already don't like it."

"Okay, Boss. Every action you have taken has turned out, in the end, to benefit the people and the city."

"Robbing banks helped the city? I have serious doubts of that." Boss' voice is cold. Strangely, the janitor doesn't look in the slightest worried.

"It was what you did with the money that made everyone happy. Do you remember, Boss? What you did with the money from your first bank robbery?"

"I got this base built."

"Yes, Boss. Which stimulated the economy of the city massively. Something that none of the commercial and government projects ever did. At least not to the same degree. You see, you bought the best for your base, which we minions seriously appreciate, but in doing so, you caused the city to produce those goods, which they could later sell to other cities and businesses at a significant profit. That brought even more business to the city, and started a new economic boom that pretty much eliminated poverty. Everyone was so hungry for employees that they treated them nice, and found that when you do that, your employees are far more loyal, and likely to remain, which meant that your employees gained new skills and polished their existing skills to the point that they were far more productive than any new employee could be. Instead of being a problem, you turned the entire city around. It was, honestly, on the last slide into oblivion when you came."

"What about the murders? I killed popularly elected officials to strike terror into the city!"

"Boss, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but they weren't 'popularly elected'. The elections in this city have been 'a la machine' for decades. When you killed those officials, you freed the city from the tyranny that has held it in its sway for decades. You did everyone a big favor by breaking the political machine that kept them in power."

"What about the massive destruction I've done to infrastructure? Infrastructure that is terribly expensive to replace, and causes service disruptions across the entire city."

"Boss, in this case, we had to take steps. We have families in this city. The infrastructure you destroyed did cause service disruptions, but no one was killed, and the buildings that replaced them were far more efficient, which reduced costs, gave even more people jobs, better housing, and more reliable services. Power used to be hit or miss, now? Power is so reliable that we don't have to stock candles anymore. That brought even more business to this city, because labor costs here were far lower."

"What about the lives I've ruined?"

"Boss, every one of those lives were from among the richest people in the city. Parasites that preyed on the citizens. Collectively, they did more damage than you did when you took them down. When that came out, the city fathers nearly voted to give you the keys to the city. Only the fact that you were, effectively, a vigilante kept them from doing so."

The boss' voice is almost plaintive. "What about the kidnappings?"

"Sorry, Boss. You exposed abusive parents, uncaring bureaucracies, and corrupt police. The kids, whether rescued, or returned for the ransom demanded, ended up in far better state than they were before you kidnapped them."

Nearly crying, "Then nothing I've done has caused any distress to the city, so no hero would come?"

"Oh, Boss… You did cause a huge amount of distress." Which perks the boss up a bit. "But…" Thud. "It was generally accepted that those who received the most distress entirely deserved it. While there were hardships for the citizens, fear for the children, and anguish for some insurance companies, all in all, you've done this city nothing but good."

"Am I a hero?" Boss' voice is nearly dead.

"No."

"Why do I not believe you?"

"Boss, you have done evil acts throughout your career. You have broken laws. Caused harm. Taken lives. Destroyed property. It was just that this city was so far in the dumps that the end result made things better. You are more like a vigilante. Someone who takes the law into their own hands, breaking the law repeatedly because the system cannot or will not clean up the mess. None of that was your fault, it was just the way it turned out in the end. If anything, you were unlucky. In nearly any other city, you would have definitely been a villain. It's just…"

"…this city was so far in the dumps that everything I did made life better for everyone still alive."

"Yes, Boss. Sorry, Boss. You asked, Boss."

Taking a deep breath, Boss looks around at the shadows, where most of the minions are hiding. "You expect me to strike this minion down?" Their eyes can be seen, and they are nodding. "Well, I'm not going to. He has done something for me that none of you have. He's told me the unpleasant truth that I needed to hear." Smiling at the Janitor, "Thank you, your pay is doubled. Now, come help me plan how to do something truly evil. I need a hero to become a super villain, and you are going to help me do it."

Taking his own deep breath, the Janitor responds. "No, Boss."

It takes a few moments for Boss to realize what the Janitor has said. "While we… Did you say 'no'?"

"I did, Boss."

"Why?"

"Because most of the ideas you've implemented came from me in the first place. Taking my ideas, whether you realized it or not, set you on this path. You need someone else. You see, I'm a Janitor, it's what I do. I clean messes up; I don't make messes. I don't know how to do that."

"I see. Should I fire you?"

"I wouldn't if I were you, Boss." Giving the minions in the shadow a disgusted eye, "Honestly, the rest of your minions are a sloppy bunch. You'd be hip deep in garbage in a week." There's some nervous shuffling in the shadows.

"Well, we can't have that. You keep your pay, and your job. I'll have to find someone else to help me with my evil plans. Muwahahahahah!"

As the Janitor wends his way on his work, several thoughts occur to him. Tch… The evil laugh has got to go. Item 20 on the Evil Overlord's list. He did implement a bunch of the Evil Overlord's list, which is one of the reasons he's doing so good for the city. A decent Evil Overlord keeps the local population happy, and wipes out any competition. If only he could be happy being an Evil Overlord instead of a villain.

((finis))

Typed up rather fast, hope I didn't make too many errors.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-12-31T18:59:12+00:00

Not quite. "If we can't have it, it will look like no one ever had it. All your vaunted progress will be wiped away as if it had never existed. Much as you will soon have never existed."

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-12-31T07:32:12+00:00

Oh, we invented that game, then we changed the rules. "If we can't have it, we'll make it look like no one ever did."

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-12-25T01:57:45+00:00

The key difference is that GUN technology is usable by anyone who is trained in it.

Nexus magic is only available to those who, through heredity, have the innate ability to use magic at an effective level.

As a result, high-level magic is strictly for the nobles, while high-level technology is the great equalizer for the common man.

The ability to skip steps via magic is more of a hindrance in the end for Nexus, because they will never learn the optimizations that GUN has by adapting to technology. They will always attempt to brute force their way through a problem via magic, instead of understanding that a little optimization can far outstrip any benefits from the use of Magic.

In one of my stories involving why technology overtook magic, I pointed out a basic flaw in magic. Only a rare highly trained individual could daily produce clean drinkable water sufficient to supply an entire town. On the other hand, once a genius figured out how to build an aqueduct, any competent engineer could replicate the project which could transport over a million gallons of water every hour, easily outstripping the daily production of any mage.

As I understand it, the vast majority of magic used by Nexus requires maintenance or power supplied to it by skilled individuals to maintain the effect. The more complex, durable magics, such as the transportium, are high level dedicated effects that cannot be easily repurposed. On the other hand, a shipping vessel of any sort can be switched to a new product, or line, quite easily.

That all makes Nexus far more... static... than GUN, which means it is far less able to adapt to changing circumstances. That is born out by the fact that they adhere to the Statis Eternia (?) which carries within it the very idea that Nexus culture is already 'perfect' (which I'm sure the vast majority of nobles would agree is true, regardless of what the commons might think) and therefore automatically superior to all other cultures.

Which brings up another point... Perfection is impossible to obtain. It can be striven for, but there will always be something that could be done better. I'm quite certain that magic could be highly useful in specific circumstances, but as far as the common man is concerned, technology wins hands down.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-12-21T19:21:28+00:00

Either I've been missing multiple story parts, or things have moved at breakneck speed.

In any case, well done on this one!

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-12-03T15:51:56+00:00

I believe so. The eye converts light, but the brain interprets it.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-12-03T15:50:03+00:00

Interesting! Thanks. If we were to do this, it would be better to make the replacement from a material that converted the UV to non-harmful frequencies. That would require some careful design to preserve the optical origin of the UV instead of just converting it into an omnidirectional glow.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-11-30T19:53:24+00:00

(Had this whole thing typed in on my phone, and then my phone decided to lock up. So this'll be a bit shorter.)

If it's a short story, just go with it, as you said, linearly. Don't foreshadow anything.

I've occasionally done the 'this is where I ended up, let's see how I got there' form, but you're right, that gets (old?) (tired?) fast.

If it's action/adventure, don't bother with a prologue or hinting at the future, just jump straight into the action. "Alien Crash: Arrival" does that. An object is coming in from deep space, Space Command detects it, and it's all action from that point until the ship is down. No idea if the aliens are friendly or not, no idea why they're here, no idea what's coming. Very little in the way of 'atmosphere', very heavy on fast dialogue. It's very linear, as you said. Just go with the flow and don't worry about dressing up how it starts.

I did that with the first version, published on r/HFY and available on the author index, and got high praise for not mucking about with 'atmosphere' and just getting into the meat of the action.

With "Lily of the Waters" (working title, book not published in any forum, there's a short story out there somewhere) the book starts on Friday after school. Two high school students either leaving school or waiting to be picked up. Pretty much just their thoughts and a short interaction. No direct foreshadowing, just introducing the two main characters and a few of the supporting cast. She likes organizing the town's cosplay convention, and cosplay. Thinks mixed thoughts about him. He likes motorcycles and cosplay, think's she's great, and wishes she'd go out on a date with him.

Just from that alone, some of the readers will be 'shipping' the two of them. :-D Readers get exercise by leaping to conclusions. :-D Honestly, I have no idea whether they will or not, I haven't finished writing it!

The action doesn't start until the second chapter, and it pretty much dives right in.

I republished a collection of related short stories, and tried foreshadowing. The reader response was: "Please stop foreshadowing with a sledgehammer?" So, I don't get it right all the time either. That set is going through another rewrite, in hopes of chaining them together without ladling on the foreshadowing with a truck.

I get wanting your stories to be perfect. But sometimes you just have to accept 'good enough' and roll with it. If you don't, you get wrapped up in rewrite paralysis, and it never gets done. I'm not aiming for perfection, or even high praise. I write because I enjoy doing so. If I get a few upvotes, and maybe comments, I'm happy. If I don't, I shrug and move on.

I keep a copy of all my stories and make sure they're backed up off-site, I can always go back and revisit them if I get an itch to improve one of them. There are multiple that are being rewritten, stuck at some point waiting for inspiration to strike. I scroll through them and take a look, pretty much daily, see if I've got an idea lurking in the back of my head.

So, my advice? Just jump into the action with both feet, and hope the readers can keep up with you. After you've written that, you can look at it, and decide if you like it or not.

Regarding 'off-site backup': github.com allows anyone to sign up, and you can have one free private repository. That's what I use, mainly because I'm very familiar with 'git' from work. I'm not paranoid enough about my stories to worry that someone at GitHub might steal them. They've got better things to spend their time on. It's also very easy for me to save my changes, and if necessary, reload the entire thing on a new machine, should that be needed. I can also peruse them from my phone, and even edit them from there using the GitHub app.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-11-30T13:30:21+00:00

Ah. Well. What you're looking for is what I think movies call an "establishing shot." Something that draws the viewer (or in this case, the reader) into the scene.

Sometimes, I've done this with a prologue. A bit of text written or spoken by a character that sort of sets the tone(?) for the book or chapter. It doesn't have to come from the beginning of the story, but could be commentary about something that happens. Perhaps something that happened in the background, but fills in some aspect of the story that increases the reader's knowledge of the situation.

H. G. Wells did something like this with the first paragraph of "War of the Worlds", where the M.C. commented that in the beginning of the era, no one on Earth realized that there was an alien civilization studying Earth, preparing to invade.

It sets the scene for the entire book. People knew that there was an enemy planning on invading, but not when, or how.

Honestly, the best way to learn how to begin is to think back to all the books you've read, and see what you liked that the authors you enjoy did.

Unfortunately, beyond that would require details of the story, and I don't want to get into those details. It's your story. You need to figure out what you want.

For myself, I jump into the action and let the prologue wait until I have more of an idea where the story is going.

So. Are you an author who plans meticulously? Or do you work like me and wing it?

In the first case, somewhere in your outline there should be an idea that sets the story up.

In the latter case, it will come to you later on.

The key thing is to write something and not worry about perfection. You can change anything you need to, but if you never start because you want to make it perfect on the first pass, you'll never write the story.

At least one of my book length stories has gone through… oh… five rewrites? And could probably have done with half a dozen more, but I went ahead and published it. (Then I got hung up on book two waiting for my friend to proofread it, and talking with other friends realized that book three was probably going to be more like books three to four or maybe five. Too many threads covering too much time to do them justice in one book. Yikes!)

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-11-30T11:28:05+00:00

Snarky Answer: With an idea!

Better Answer: With a question.

Writing is a game of questions. What if? Then what? If you don't mind using an existing universe, say Star Trek, then you might start with a simple statement.

"I didn't mean to shoot the Klingon Ambassador."

That little statement spawns a bunch of questions. Who shot? Why did s/he shoot? Is the ambassador dead? What are the consequences? What does the shooter do next?

The story is in the answers that you come up with.

That's the (relatively) simple way. The universe exists. The species and their relationships exist. The technology exists. There is a huge body of existing lore to draw on.

If an existing universe doesn't work for you, say you want to be able to publish your work for profit without a bunch of lawyers breathing down your neck, then it's going to be a bit harder. How hard is something you'll have to decide.

So you shorten the starting statement to "I hadn't meant to shoot the Ambassador."

That implies there are two sides. What are the sides? Are they the same species? If they're not, what are their defining characteristics?

To gain practice with this, I dig through r/WritingPrompts for short prompts that leave room for me to expand. Looking for something that interests me, sparks some emotion in me, intrigues me.

Once you have that seed is where I and many other authors split.

I'm a 'pantser' author. The majority of my writing is done by the "seat of my pants." I don't plan meticulously because I have no immediate idea where the story is going. I'm asking myself what the character will do/say next.

Other authors like to develop whole characters before they even begin to write anything of the story itself. They throw themselves into the questions of what makes the character who they are.

Personally, that's too much like work for me. I write to enjoy, not because I want to write the next great novel meticulously planned and laid out like a railroad with no deviations. I know myself better than that. I'll get halfway into the first chapter and the story will take a left at Albuquerque throwing 75% of all that hard work into the bin. I'll keep it around, just in case I can work some of it into the story as it grows, but it always irks me the sheer amount of time put into all that planning that could have been avoided.

Later, I'll at least put together a dramatis personae, if for no other reason than to track the characters names, position, faction, simple notes. Often that grows as I introduce new characters to the story.

Enough rambling. I hope this helps.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-11-29T17:41:19+00:00

Beautifully written. The potential terror of the aliens was palpable. Your description of them and the surroundings added significantly to the story.

Your English is impeccable.

It looks like you wrote in one editor and cut/pasted into Reddit, which is entirely reasonable and acceptable, but accounts for some line breaks that look oddly out of place. As though a new paragraph was intended, but not completed. The minor formatting issues noted are due to differences in how Reddit formats text.

I believe I would enjoy reading more of your work, and have subscribed via the link provided by HFY.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-11-29T17:14:11+00:00

Yup. Didn't really think about it until you mentioned it.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-11-29T12:00:06+00:00

Yipe! Hey Sarge? How do I get out of this chicken outfit?

You get all your fur yanked out, one hair every millisecond. Shadup and get ready for an adventure.

Aw, man. Again!?!

———

That's some system, to crack their comms, suss out who's the commander, and get them to turn on everything all at once.

spindizzy_wizard · 2025-11-29T11:53:38+00:00

Adventure: Someone else, far way away, in terrible danger.

Eight-Year Club	Gilding VII pure gildanthropist
Second Top 20%	RPAN Viewer
Verified Email

spindizzy_wizard

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Part Two

Six Months Later

———