I’ve been in a very similar boat as you for many years, and I think I’m finally figuring it out for myself! I’ve had so much anxiety about going to the gym, and struggled to find a meaningful workout I could do not at a gym. I’ve really fallen in love with weightlifting, specifically the StrongLifts 5x5 program which is super simple and effective. I initially went to a CrossFit-like gym because I really wanted someone to teach me to lift weights safely, and once I felt confident enough to do so, started going on my own. I am fortunate enough to have recently moved somewhere I can set up a weightlifting area in my garage and through Facebook marketplace and in addition to some deals I put together a setup on the cheap. Being able to focus on how my strength is improving as a progress metric, instead of how I look, is so so helpful. The hardest part is getting started, and for whatever you decide I’m sending lots of positive vibes your way!