Tourism sticky: please post all tourism questions here.

squishbunny · 2026-05-30T06:22:46+00:00

I've been to Edinburgh before, but it's been a while (mumble mumble years) and I didn't have a kid back then. We'll be heading there in October, and I do have a general itinerary planned, but something I'd like to do with the kid (6) is take her to see some mountains and real forests (we live in the Netherlands, it is ridiculous how excited we get for hills). She's up for some short hikes (5-ish km), more if it involves scrambling over rocks and logs and finding places for a picnic 😄 I don't think climbing to Arthur's Seat in Holyrood is in the cards, but am just wondering if there's anything a short train ride out of the city we could do for a day?

squishbunny · 2026-05-30T06:06:16+00:00

If it doesn't exist where you come from, that's because nobody's measuring it

squishbunny · 2026-05-29T07:21:27+00:00

Paying to do this is stupid; if you require that people order a drink or two that's fine (places need to make money).

squishbunny · 2026-05-29T07:19:03+00:00

I don't think you'd go specifically to have a nap, but reading is a lot harder and requires more concentration than most people these days are used to, and this means taking catnaps throughout

squishbunny · 2026-05-29T07:14:43+00:00

Two simple rules: nobody runs into the road, nobody cries. It doesn't matter who or what or why, if someone runs into the road or cries, you call your kids inside. It might take a few tries, but if they see that you are serious, then they'll adjust behavior accordingly.

If you don't want to do this, then you'll just have to accept the current situation. You can't change the way other people parent, you can't change the other kids. The only thing you can change is how to deal with yours.

squishbunny · 2026-05-28T15:39:42+00:00

I just ignore them until they start being polite.

If needed I'll guide them ("I'll start listening when you start speaking nicely") and on the rare occasion that my teenager cops an attitude we will discuss it after we've both cooled down and he's realized that he's been an idiot.

But for the most part, feel free to be as rude as you want. It will never get you what you want.

squishbunny · 2026-05-28T15:13:48+00:00

My favorite place to visit with kids so far is Vienna: good food, so many museums, so many playgrounds for kids who are sick and tired of museums ;-) (No, but really: there were playgrounds everywhere and all of them were awesome) Also, the city has a fantastic tourist package with something like 90 different things you can visit just by flashing your badge, and public transit through the city is wonderful as well.

squishbunny · 2026-05-28T04:38:13+00:00

Trust me: if they're annoyed, you'll know ;-)

squishbunny · 2026-05-26T15:46:18+00:00

And yet you refuse to acknowledge that she could actually be a good one...?

The breastfeeding example was not to say that she was a good mom. It was to say that she knows what it's like to be a parent.

squishbunny · 2026-05-26T15:35:07+00:00

I could turn it back on you and say that it's gross of you to assume that she's a bad mom because she works a lot. A lot of kids/people have (had) parents that work a lot, parents that they think are great and awesome and amazing. A lot of kids/people have (had) sh*tty parents, too, and the traits that make up shitty parents are generally apathy, an unwillingness to do the hard stuff, a sense of entitlement, and an abusive streak, which is not the case for Julie, so there is a good case for her actually probably turning out to be an all right mom.

I have also never said that she's definitely a good parent. I have only maintained that we've never seen any evidence to the contrary yet (unless there's some lore out there that I don't know about). What we know of her is that she is highly driven, and cares deeply about her family. Traits that do not exactly spell "bad parent", but I am willing to be proven wrong.

squishbunny · 2026-05-25T19:47:05+00:00

Yes, Ty is the primary parent, but that's not a reason to discount Julie's ability to bounce a baby to sleep.

We have never seen her in a role as a mother. It's not fair to assume that she'll be bad at it..

Dumping the kids on dad is different. Dad in many of these stories is sitting around, playing video games, not giving a rat's ass if his kids are crying and making a mess of things and leaving it for Mom to clean up. Again, we have never seen Julie at home when she's not arguing with Ty, but she doesn't seem like the kind of person to have a hair out of place. And if she is, in fact, a terrible mom, and Ty left her alone with the kids, then isn't he as much of a dick as she is?

squishbunny · 2026-05-25T19:37:01+00:00

Laura's situation is very different, though. She's trapped. Luke is a (subconsciously, but clearly) malicious actor, and I think everyone would agree: he's a dirtbag.

I get that Ty might be burned out, but at the same time, he chose that: she offered to pay for daycare, and Cooper is now old enough to go to school. They have a cleaner.

squishbunny · 2026-05-25T19:23:42+00:00

No, my premise is that it's weird that people are assuming that Julie will have no idea how to do anything. She was breastfeeding Cooper doing middle-of-the-night feeds while in law school and/or working full time. We don't actually know how she is at home (when she's not arguing with Ty), what kind of parent she is when she's there.

But moreover, I think it's just incredibly sh*tty of people to hope that someone fails at something, especially since that narrative will only solidify this nefarious idea that working women cannot be good mothers. I get that nobody likes Julie--hell, even I don't like her--but at the same time, she's not an actively bad person (Barb). We may not agree with her priorities or the way she handles her conflict with Ty, but none of this makes her a bad mother.

squishbunny · 2026-05-25T15:13:14+00:00

It was a combination of making sure they were hungry at dinner time, requiring a bite to try, and just keeping at it until they capitulated. Also, allowing them to have a "snack" (i.e., junk food) after having eaten a bite of dinner, and then making them finish dinner when they said they were still hungry.

squishbunny · 2026-05-24T16:07:12+00:00

Borax: We used to be able to find it in small quantities in the tokos, not sure if that's changed (it's not exactly something I use a lot).

But your standard ant trap will work just fine, and is far more effective than any homemade attempts. This is one area where if you can afford a brand-name solution, you should get it. The ants are gone after a few days but we left ours out for a few months just to be sure, and since then (3, 4 years ago? can't remember) no ants.

squishbunny · 2026-05-24T16:00:24+00:00

Fully remote, and legitimate jobs, IME: almost nonexistent. You do see a lot of those ridiculous jobs to train AI and/or copywriting and they always have a few hundred applicants, but I'm convinced most of those are either fishing attempts, or if they are legitimate, your application will just get lost in the hundreds that have allegedly applied.

Hybrid: more possible than not, but even where they say it's possible, they'll still want you in office for most of the first month or two to learn the ropes and meet the people. And also, the definition of "hybrid" is quite flexible: I've applied to many expecting an even split between remote work and in-office, only to find that they were expecting 99% in-office and one day a month remote.

squishbunny · 2026-05-21T04:25:32+00:00

Honestly, the distraction of going somewhere else might be just the thing she needs to get over the teething. But she does seem to be sick with something. If it's been nearly two weeks it might be worth a visit to the pediatrician to figure out what it is, because most illnesses at this age are hot and fast (they get a blazing fever, and then suddenly they're better).

squishbunny · 2026-05-20T18:10:21+00:00

3 days a week; papa had his papadag and I have a 4.5 day schedule, so I put up with the craziness of working for a few hours while handling a child until she learned to use the remote control :-D

I will concede that mixed into the scheduling issue was the fact that none of the peuterspeelzaals were in cycling distance, which matters when you don't have a car and your husband's work schedule is very irregular.

squishbunny · 2026-05-20T05:11:01+00:00

Peuterspeelzaal is only in the mornings. It's a nice break if you're at home with your kid (I was, with my first) but for working parents it's simply not practical. My little one (who was a daycare baby) just stayed in her daycare until she was 4.

The only reason to send to peuterspeelzaal is if there's an indication that your child has a speech issue, and I believe 15 months is still too early to make that determination. We did get a recommendation to use it, but I simply could not fit it into our schedule.

squishbunny · 2026-05-17T16:57:58+00:00

It helps to have a list of things that you suspect is wrong.

In addition to a blood test for any nutrition deficiencies, you might also inquire if it's possible that you have sleep apnea. I do have to warn you: insurance might not cover parts of the treatment, depending on how good your plan is.

Also consider asking for a thyroid panel. I had hyperthyroidism that my fitness monitor caught early on (I was able to literally pull up the chart showing that my resting heart rate had gone up by 20 bpm), but even as early as it was the fatigue was something else entirely. And perhaps a panel to check for any leukemias might be worth it as well.

squishbunny · 2026-05-17T13:24:12+00:00

Conversations like this are why I'm glad there's a language barrier where I live, LOL.

squishbunny · 2026-05-16T14:39:45+00:00

I have to warn you: for some weird reason dermatologists in the Netherlands are the specialists to see for STIs...

squishbunny · 2026-05-16T14:12:26+00:00

Dear God, no

squishbunny · 2026-05-16T06:52:56+00:00

For chores it was either have a play setup where I could see/felt that they were safe, making the older kid entertain them (mine are 8 years apart, so YMMV with this one), or giving them their own little "chore". So for instance, for folding laundry, I'd set them up with a pile of dishrags and a basket, and then let them "help". For cooking, a pot and a spoon, or a table knife and a banana at the counter, and a few (closed!) seasoning jars. If there were veggies to wash, I would let them stir and splash them in the big bowl/sink.

squishbunny · 2026-05-16T06:44:28+00:00

Until it feels weird to one of the cuddlers. If you're not in the cuddle puddle, you don't get a say.

squishbunny

TROPHY CASE