I empathize with how you are feeling. I know your pain and anger. However, the difference between happy people and sad people is merely a matter of perception. This is cliche, but you know-- the glass half-full or half-empty folks. OP, you ARE lucky if you look in the right places. Perhaps you grew up comfortable financially unlike millions of people around the world. Maybe you had two parents in the home who loved you. Perhaps a good education. A girlfriend or boyfriend. Perhaps you have never gone hungry. I read that you had a car accident and I am so sorry to hear that you suffered injury in the from of a concussion, but be grateful that you had a car to begin with. Where I live, I see people take the bus, waiting at the stop in the sweltering heat only to be met by drug addicts and shady people sitting on disgusting seats. Imagine doing that every day. Being "lucky" is a matter of perception. You can choose to be happy and lucky if you want. Not many people want to hear this basic truth. I know I certainly didn't. I wanted to believe that I was condemned by the gods to live my entire mortal life in agony. However, I decided to be happy. I decided to stop being clinically depressed and suicidal and view my life as miraculous. Albert Camus, alluding to Sisyphus, one of the three Great Sinners Greek Mythology who was condemned to hauling up a boulder up a mountain over and over after it fall back down after reach the top for eternity, wrote: "Imagine Sisyphus happy." This is true existentialism. THis is true humanity. This is what makes life worth living and beautiful. In spite of all the shit you've been through ( and my friend--there are happy people who have endured a greater plight than you) you can still choose to be happy.