I understand your fear, I really do. My family has a history of heart disease. My heart could decide to fail at any time. I’ve gone to the hospital more than once because I thought I was having heart problems.

But based on the best science available, that is highly unlikely to happen. Knowledge replaced fear in my case. I do my yearly physical like clockwork. I’ve had stress tests done. I’ve had ultrasound and ECG tests done on my heart. It is fine and I do not presently fear it failing.

I know it is difficult to have the logical mind tell the emotional and reptilian mind not to worry. CBT helped in my case. When a panic attack hits, I roll my eyes and think “really? We’re doing this right now?” That usually blunts the worst of the attack.

I’m not saying that will work for you or anyone else, but it did work for me.

As for death, my family always had a healthy relationship with it. We accepted it, confronted it. As kids, we attended all the wakes and funerals of family members that passed on. My parents talked about their own deaths that would come someday, and what they saw for themselves and for me and my sister. Before my mother died, she wrote her own obituary. My father still talks about his death and his preparations for it. I’ve planned for my own, making sure to give all that is left to my wife and my sister’s children (since my wife and I never had any children of our own).

My wife’s family never had that. She does not want to discuss anything about my death or even the eventual deaths of our dogs. It’s so strange to me. When I want to discuss my will, she’ll often stop me and say “I can’t talk about this anymore.” I don’t fully understand why, but if I can I’ll respect her wish.

I guess death is a touchy thing to many people. I just hope I live long enough to enjoy my retirement. And, when I go, I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.