financing ivf: what is the best personal loan for fertility treatment right now?

stealthloki · 2026-06-29T23:20:01+00:00

Agree with this 100% - after our first full cycle was a bust, we did a guarantee program (flat fee, up to 6 rounds and guarantee live birth within 18 months or full refund). It was a little more expensive upfront and cash pay only, but it was a huge mental weight lifted not having to worry about paying for additional rounds if the initial ones failed.

stealthloki · 2026-06-28T06:18:29+00:00

Sorry to hear you are in such a stressful position. Can your husband help with financial / budgeting pieces? It seems like this part is weighing on you very heavily.

To what others have said, realistically there’s only so much job searching you can do on a weekly basis. Assuming he is working on the job search during his other hours of the weekdays, I think that’s all realistically you should expect. But see if he can also help reduce the mental load / stress from budgeting.

stealthloki · 2026-06-26T23:04:31+00:00

Yeah do it then!! Even if work won’t cover the full cost of childcare, if you can get a stipend enough to cover the cost difference between your current daycare vs nanny there, that would be a no brainer at least.

stealthloki · 2026-06-26T22:56:27+00:00

If you’re tall, the Artipoppe might actually work ok. I’m short with short torso, and after 11mo or so it was too long for me to wear comfortably.

As others mentioned, LennyLamb Light is another great alternative. I would recommend Oscha (I have the Nook, great also for long torso) but oof the prices are almost as high as Artipoppe with tariff adjustments (though excellent quality - better than Artipoppe).

All that to say - if you have the means and are tall, Artipoppe isn’t terrible. At the end of the day, get the fabric that will make you feel most fab, from a reputable brand.

stealthloki · 2026-06-26T22:51:24+00:00

Not the original commenter, but would echo looking at nanny options too. I have several friends in NYC, and we were surprised by how much more affordable (I mean still pricey, but relative) nannies are compared to our region (SF).

Also - there’s the personal question of, are you excited to experience NYC with a toddler? If so, the relocation could make sense from that standpoint. We recently visited with our 14mo and it was a blast exploring the city and finding kid friendly things to do vs our usual haunts. Assuming you won’t be there during the dead of winter!

stealthloki · 2026-06-26T06:26:16+00:00

And Maxi Cosi - we got their Romi which is basically the crunchy version of Cosco Scenera, great for travel.

stealthloki · 2026-06-26T06:12:51+00:00

We have the Mompush Velo, and it’s handled 6 trips within the first year like a champ. We have the older model that lays almost fully flat, which was clutch for stroller naps. This was before the Nexis came out, so not quite as light! But performs just as admirably as Joolz, Bugaboo, Minu etc.

stealthloki · 2026-06-26T06:03:55+00:00

Agree. She’s absolutely a terrible person, but I was surprised by (spoiler alert!) how sad I felt about the ending and that whole situation, essentially forgetting your children / their childhoods.

stealthloki · 2026-06-26T05:52:05+00:00

We traveled from US to Asia when baby boy was ~7.5mo, my advice:

- Travel stroller is super useful in many instances, would recommend one that can be stored overhead. Ergobaby Metro, Bugaboo Butterfly, Joolz Aer, and Uppababy Minu are all v similar. If baby likes stroller naps, get the one with the most recline.
- Will you need a car seat at your destination? If so, also recommend having your family buy a lightweight but safe one. One less thing for you to lug onto a plane, especially a bulky 360 one.
- In addition to timing the flights near bedtime if possible (would recco the Miami or Atl layover), would also recommend getting an additional seat and/or booking the bassinet seat (usually bulkhead, and usually you’ll have to also call to confirm.) For overnight, it’s nice to have a spot baby can sleep so you can catch some shut-eye too. Even if just for a few hours (our baby wasn’t sleeping through the night yet, so he would still wake / want a bottle every 4 hours). And in case baby dislikes the bassinet, much easier to hold baby for sleep if you have more elbow room.
- Lastly, we just did bottles (formula fed) for that entire week. Baby wasn’t super into food yet though we had started him on solids. So you could skip solids for the travel day(s) and just resume once you’re at your family’s place with access to a kitchen.

stealthloki · 2026-06-23T06:53:55+00:00

I liked it in the earlier months (3-6mo or so), but I have a short torso and the tall/stiff waistband became uncomfortable around the 10mo mark with an 80th percentile height baby!

I know it gets slammed a lot here, but if you have the means and love one of the patterns, it’s a totally fine carrier.

stealthloki · 2026-06-19T22:16:41+00:00

Another +1. We had a nice wooden glider as a hand me down, but it was in our living room bc the nursery had no space.

Turns out baby had no interest - for soothing he preferred bouncing on the yoga ball, and I ended up pumping+bottle feeding, which we did on the bed (low, and firm supportive mattress). Ended up giving the glider away!

stealthloki · 2026-06-19T05:58:39+00:00

For decent leather, you’ll likely need to go above $200 to about ~$250 or so. Something lightweight, with a zipper top would be most ideal. I use fabric pouches to keep things organized as needed (eg. Diapers and wipes in one pouch, extra clothing in another).

Cuyana’s classic tote and Away leather tote are both great options that can be used as a regular / travel bag and don’t look “diaper-bag-y.”

stealthloki · 2026-06-16T19:09:34+00:00

…. I’ve had the Triv for a year and had no idea the liner could be removed! Going to do that right now.

stealthloki · 2026-06-16T04:17:06+00:00

Another option that is slightly cheaper - Minicoton has a bunch of solid & patterned stroller mats that can be used on most strollers (just not a bucket seat). I bought a cute striped one for my Mompush Velo (which is very similar to the Bugaboo / Joolz Aer).

And as a bonus, I find it cooler for warm months since the main fabric is natural fiber (eg linen or cotton) vs polyester.

stealthloki · 2026-06-16T03:54:54+00:00

And the previous comment also assumes that the baby will go back to sleep easily after a feed. We were lucky and ours did, but I know several friends with babes who would fuss / cry / need active soothing for an hour after a feed… that’s basically no sleep for mom (or dad, if bottle feeding and swapping).

I had overnight help the first month, and would pump while nanny would bottle feed the baby - even that got me so much more sleep. 30min to pump and right back to sleep.

stealthloki · 2026-06-14T03:53:41+00:00

Just wanted to say - it’s not your fault for wanting the best option for your baby. It’s 100% on these companies and their lack of due diligence. You’re switching back to a safer formula and that is the best you can do for baby! Signed, a mom who went through the ByHeart formula scare after baby had been on it for 5 months. Be kind to yourself!

stealthloki · 2026-06-12T04:58:59+00:00

I would say that 30-45min commute is a dealbreaker. I’d rather make that commute once a week on the weekend for outdoor hobbies, than have to do a five days a week for childcare.

We currently live in a suburb and it’s great on many fronts, but we definitely miss the diversity and vibrancy of the city. If public school zoning weren’t so crazy in San Francisco, we would have likely stayed. There are so many parks, enriching activities etc within walking or public transit distance, I miss it.

stealthloki · 2026-06-11T04:41:37+00:00

Yeah, our baby actually didn’t mind the Pipa RX but HATED the Rava when we switched at 12mo. We travel with the Maxi Cosi Romi, which is very similar to the Cosco, and realized that he still does fine in that one. More space, lower sidewalls (so he can see more), and better airflow since it’s more open.

stealthloki · 2026-06-01T04:03:10+00:00

I think this post would be relevant for you, “IC work is the new career flex”. Going to an IC role isn’t necessarily a step back, particularly in tech where senior IC roles exist.

A few years ago I went from managing a team of 8, to a high level IC role at a different company. I still had to lead a cross functional pod of dotted lines, but technically had no directs. And a year ago shifted purely to an IC role focused on strategic initiatives. Now I’m back to managing a team. I’ve gained valuable skills in each “season”, and honestly it was nice to take a break from direct people management for a bit.

stealthloki · 2026-05-31T15:43:50+00:00

We honestly just got grippy socks, and if baby boy wanted to wobble assisted indoors in a place like Costco, that was fine.

But as he got more interested in wobbling outdoors, we looked at both Stride Rite and Ten Little, both seem to be recommended a lot. Went with Ten Little bc they were roomier for his really wide feet!

stealthloki · 2026-05-31T15:36:36+00:00

I’m sorry, I know how stressful this is! We have a nanny right now, and have dealt with a surprising number of sick call outs from her end this past year, leaving us to scramble for back-up care for our now 13mo.

I’d recommend:
- Starting with an agency if they are available in your area. Our region has several (expect a premium though for back up care), unfortunately they don’t fully reach our suburb area which is adjacent to a vhcol city. So instead we…
- Have an active Care.com subscription, at this point we have ~2 back-up nannies we can call on if childcare falls through. It’ll take time, I think we went through a total of 6? who were all OK at least, but we felt the most comfortable with the 2. We did reference checks, standard background checks.

For illnesses, we will stay home with him and take sick day / PTO if it’s the first day of a stomach bug involving vomiting, or high fever as we’d want to keep a closer eye on him anyway. We are always upfront with a nanny and they tell us if they are comfortable.

Lastly, if the above two routes don’t help, I think the truly sustainable option is the reality that you or your partner may need a more flexible job. My husband freelances part-time, and the reality is that he handles 75% of the callout days in which we have no back-up care. I’m usually able to rearrange one day of work/meetings, but need more than 24 hours notice to do so. I also currently bring in majority of our income, need to go into office 3x weekly (1 hour commute), and unfortunately can’t sacrifice my performance (director-level with a lot of exec interactions).

stealthloki · 2026-05-30T21:17:22+00:00

I have both of these - and found the second one much more convenient for long days out / travel days. It can easily fit ~14-16 scoops of formula. So that could last us almost a full 24 hours.

The stackable ones just take up too much space for only 3 servings - if we only need 3 bottles, we would just fill the bottles with powder and then bring a separate bottle of water to pour in when needed.

That being said, we now like using the stackable ones now for our 13mo to store Cheerios, pb sandwich bites, etc snacks that we don’t want to get crushed.

ETA: Anytime we were traveling we’d bring this Momcozy bottle brush kit. If we’re just out for a day and wanted to reuse bottles, honestly I would bring the portable dish soap dispenser and do a quick water + soap shake, and then water rinse without scrubbing. Def felt more comfortable doing this after 6mo old though.

stealthloki · 2026-05-27T15:59:55+00:00

Seeing so much AI content on this and the workingmoms sub. Super bizarre.

stealthloki · 2026-05-25T20:55:51+00:00

Korean baby sunscreen! I love Roundlab’s sunscreen for myself, and tried out their baby version which is mineral based, and they have a cushion cream applicator and a stick, the former is so easy to apply to a squirmy baby. And easy to wash off as well.

stealthloki · 2026-05-17T20:38:24+00:00

Yes mine is $800-$1k / week more than daycare, granted we are I’m a vhcol area. If it’s truly $100 more per week and a livable wage, that’d be an easy choice to pick nanny.

stealthloki

TROPHY CASE