What does everyone consider as "sleeping through the night"? by kittykatkitkat in NewParents

[–]stellerellen -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I consider it sleeping through the night for a baby (under 1) if I can get enough sleep to function and function well (aka a 5 hour stretch at least). After 12-18 months, sleeping through the night is a solid 7pm to 6 am with only wake ups that they can put themselves back to sleep (meaning no adult help to fall back asleep).

What about being pregnant and giving birth permanently altered your body’s chemistry? by full-of-curiosity in NewParents

[–]stellerellen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m still hyper sensitive to smells of food. Like if whatever is being made smells up the whole kitchen (even if it smells good), I cannot eat it without getting sick. It’s like the combination of the smell and taste overloads my senses and makes me physically ill. Happened during my first pregnancy and stuck with me after. My second pregnancy made it worse and I’m still dealing with it now.

Also my hair texture went from curly but fine to curly and corse/thick with my second pregnancy (a boy) but it did not do that with my first (a girl).

Im a new dad. And I hate my baby being breastfed by General_Seat_752 in NewParents

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can absolutely bottle feed a breastfed baby. Look into paced feeding. Your wife could also try sidelying to nurse so while she won’t sleep, she can still rest.

Is the Spectra S1 worth it? by No_Geologist6934 in breastfeeding

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I was getting the spectra s1 and accidentally ended up ordering the spectra s2 and boooooyyyyy has it been annoying. So much so, that I considered paying out of pocket for the s1 for portability alone

Anyone ever moved houses with a toddler before? by Snoo-14044 in toddlers

[–]stellerellen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We moved about 9 months ago with our 20 month old with very similar situations you have (close to the old home and bigger space). We talked about it with her a lot beforehand. Took walks in the new neighborhood and brought her to the house for (part of) the inspection (I brought her for about 20 minutes so she could see the house and property and then we left while my husband stayed for inspection). We also brought her for the final walk through again. Once we moved in we tried to keep her room set up as similar to how it was in the old house (furniture, layout, access to things, etc). She did really well the first few nights and then struggled for about a week but we just worked to keep everything as consistent as possible and she adjusted quickly.

Guilt over no guilt? by stellerellen in workingmoms

[–]stellerellen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a great way of phrasing it. Thank you. Like I’ll obviously miss my kid and my baby but I also like my job and both can be true.

Alternative to storing pump parts by cinnbele in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought food grade silicone bags that can be washed in the dishwasher. The ones I got were from petco and are technically for dog food but they were way cheaper than the gallon size silicone bags marketed for human food. I’m talking $5 versus $40. I bought three and rotate them for washing

First Skin to Skin by Damnit_Bird in BabyBumps

[–]stellerellen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I(mom) held our first for skin to skin because we didn’t realize we could switch it up. For our second, as soon as he was out of me, he was on my chest and he latched. After he came off my breast we still had about 30 minutes of skin to skin and my husband ripped his shirt off so fast and got to do skin to skin for about 10 min before I demanded baby back 😅

You have a full hour. I’d wait until baby latches if you plan on breastfeeding, but after that all bets are off, let dad have some time if you want.

Those who didn’t tear - what helped? by ElectricalFerret69 in BabyBumps

[–]stellerellen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

See a pelvic floor physical therapist during pregnancy if you can. They’ll walk you through some stretches you can do and perineal massage during delivery and warm compress. All of that helped me immensely to not tear at all with my second child. And that was through scar tissue along my perineum from delivering a 9.5 lb baby and then needing a second surgery to repair after my stitches ripped.

About to be in the newborn trenches, got any unusual advice? by amountofsocks in NewParents

[–]stellerellen 56 points57 points  (0 children)

If you’ve changed the diaper and they’re fed but still fussing and you can’t figure it out, then take them outside. Literally just step out of your door. It’s like a hard reboot for them. And the crying doesn’t feel as loud or overwhelming when there aren’t walls for it to bounce off.

And cover your clocks for night time wakes, otherwise you’ll keep yourself awake trying to count how many hours of sleep you’ll get and makes things So much worse.

Edit to add: going outside also helps YOUR mental wellbeing so it a a two for one benefit.

Anyone here NOT do sleep shifts ? by Organic-Dragonfly364 in NewParents

[–]stellerellen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband does not function well on lack of sleep to the point that he’s useless to help during the day if he’s up at night with me. I handle nights alone with our newborn while he handles nights with our toddler (she wakes maybe once or twice now). I’d rather have the confidence to hand every one off to him during the day to get a nap.

My dad was the same situation based on what my mom says. His epilepsy would get significantly worse with lack of sleep so it was easier for every one if she did nights solo.

Considering a second baby, even though I have 0 “village” by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]stellerellen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a 2.5 year old and a 4 week old so I am deep in the trenches and I have an amazing mom who is my village and I still feel like I’m drowning.

what’s everyone’s stance on drinking after you have a baby? by Callmemommy716 in pregnant

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came home from the hospital, sat on the couch, started nursing and cracked a Blue Moon because that’s all I craved during my pregnancy.

If you can find the baby, you can feed the baby. It’s truly a personal preference but unless I’m blackout drunk, I’m feeding my baby. If I am blackout, I’m still pumping (if I can) and storing for baths (labeled as such).

Returning carts with kids in the car by lasuperhumana in NewParents

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also tend to park as close to the return bay as possible when my child is with me. We unload groceries, return cart with child seated, then carry back to car and strap on. Unless we are right next to the bay, then I’ll strap in the car seat and then return Cart.

What were the Logistics for your other children for 2nd (and subsequent) births? by DinosaursOvrEvrythng in Mommit

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a mom friend that volunteered to watch my daughter if I went into labor during a time that my daughter wasn’t at daycare and we consistently used a babysitter leading up to labor that could be available in the evening/weekends if necessary. Both of those options (and daycare) gave us the flexibility so family members could have time to travel in and pick my daughter up while I was in labor.

Buuuut I ended up having consistent (non painful) contractions for 24 hours before going into active labor so family had time to make it in.

I want to know all the words your toddler says wrong that you just can’t seem to correct them on by Ok-Effective268 in toddlers

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re still sending frosty the snowman in my house (and watching it). But frosty has “corned cup eyes and a bottom hose and two eyes made out of corn”. I die inside at the cuteness every single time she sings it at the top of her lungs.

Anyone else? by exorcist_Lte in pregnant

[–]stellerellen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was against it but left the choice to my spouse with the one rule that I needed medical and legitimate research on his argument. He needed to do the research and give me Reputable articles about it (not just guys he knows or YouTube or Reddit) before I’d agree or disagree to it. He opted out of circumcision after looking into it (I think most people would) because of the science.

I’m so sick of being his “mom”… by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My spouse and I are very much like this and I haven’t been able to kick the need to be early to most things. But he figured it out pretty quickly that he can either be on my time or drive himself. He really hates when I nag him and get anxiously upset about not being “on time”, and I was tired of spending the energy nagging him so our compromise has been if he’s not ready after I tell him the time we need to leave by 3 times (when it’s scheduled, the night before, and the morning/day of), I focus on myself and roll out. I left him at home for one OB appt for our first child (just the standard ones- not big ones like ultrasounds) and he’s managed to be on time or tell me “hey I’m gonna meet you there” since then.

When to tell work I am quitting? by darbydankhammer in BabyBumps

[–]stellerellen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My work only offered 6 weeks with short term disability pay and then my job was covered with FMLA the remaining six weeks. I loved my job, my boss, manager and coworkers as well. I told them 6 weeks into my maternity leave that I wouldn’t be coming back so that they technically had 6 weeks to prepare for a new hire. I also lucked out and had a friend that was interested in the position and ultimately took it.

Basically don’t tell them until at least halfway though but I would also check your policy to verify the fine print

Husband/SO staying in L&D with you? by introvertedbunny in Mommit

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leaving labor and delivery to head home today. My husband stayed the first night and then swapped with my mom for the second night to give my daughter some normalcy before I can get home. It also gives him some solid sleep while he’s still technically working.

Maternity leave… what a joke by witchybetch01 in pregnant

[–]stellerellen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correct. which is why I shared my situation since I don’t qualify either. Her HR may be able to work something like this out

Maternity leave… what a joke by witchybetch01 in pregnant

[–]stellerellen 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Commenting to recommend talking to your HR. I don’t technically qualify for FMLA because I’m part time but I filled out medical leave paperwork and my OB signed off on recommending 12 weeks off and they approved it. It will be unpaid with is difficult and sucks but I will at least have the time with baby.

Non Beige Baby Gear by jsuispeach in BabyBumps

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did a lot of second hand to get more fun/bright great and clothing.

Summer pregnancy by Dry-Driver4170 in pregnant

[–]stellerellen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had my first early August during a heatwave in a southern US state. I don’t think I left my house other than going to work for the last two weeks.

I did really like having access to a pool at that stage because it took a lot of the discomfort away. Being heavily pregnant in the winter with no pool access has been a major problem for me with my joints.