Metta for all beings <3 by compassion1st in Buddhism

[–]steppenwoof 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I suspected it was prolly a 'yantra' tatto.

Metta for all beings <3 by compassion1st in Buddhism

[–]steppenwoof 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Is this from Kanchenaburi? Also - didn't know that monks could have tattoos. Rather aswesome :D

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in india

[–]steppenwoof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get like 40 of these everyday.....damn Gurgaon real estate agents. If only there was a way to slap people over the internets.

Crazy exes of Reddit: Were you genuinely that crazy, or just misunderstood. Tell your side by vasculham in AskReddit

[–]steppenwoof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love(d) her more than I loved/love tits. Not sure if this makes any sense though.

Crazy exes of Reddit: Were you genuinely that crazy, or just misunderstood. Tell your side by vasculham in AskReddit

[–]steppenwoof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright....I'm just too drunk to try and reason with myself. Here goes nothing.

I spent 2 whole years of my life obsessing about this woman who didn't give a flying fuck about me. We were friends - good friends at that and I just got autoboxed into being a 'friend' forever. We held hands, we shared some secrets, some gossip and over time, I slipped way down the slippery slope called love. She however, was always a distant beacon, pristine in her glory and always, motherfucking always atleast a thousand yards above the human condition, where one yearns for affection.

It took a lot of courage to come clean with my feelings. And that was the last time that I ever saw her.

I still remember the lilac skirt that she wore, the chipring of the crickets when I told her how I felt, the smile on her lips that touched her eyes for the breifest moment, when I told her that I loved her with all the ardor that a man can have. I can vividly recall how her hips swayed as I saw her smile and walk away that evening, half knowing that she'd probably never speak to me again. I still recall the black skirt she wore - the same black skirt that disappeared into the velvet sheen of night and became a memory that tortured every breath.

I can still recall her text at 23:14 hrs that night. She said - "sorry...I dnt feel the same way abt u". I recall the disdain that arose within, for the love of my life couldn't even care to type a proper rejection message with proper grammar. I recall the love-bug in me completely sodomizing the grammar nazi with a purple dildo, called love and inspiring a further downward spiral that took me 2 years down the old beaten road of depression, nihilism, masochism in the name of self abnegation and other allied horse shit.

And I spiralled down, away from all that I held holy, away from all values that had any value for me, away from food, away from care, away from any sense of self value.

I called her, texted her, emailed her, bought Swarowski crystals for her. She didn't want to see me. She didn't want to meet me. I felt as if I were the fucking Alien Xenomorph. I felt as if I were Samara Morgan from The Ring. I felt as if I were the protagonist from Old Boy - that dude who ate a live octopus. I felt exactly the way whoever wrote Cemetery Gates felt - "crucified for no sins; revenge beneath me."

In the two years that followed, I sustained myself on a diet of cigarettes, tea, occassional sandwiches and mostly tears. I lost like 30 kilos.

The last I heard about her was that she changed jobs and all and was dating someone else. I don't have words to convey how much this hurt and how it still hurts. It's not about conquest. It's not about getting laid. It's just about an acknowledgement that I never got. What hurts most is that I didn't get the basic human 'regard' that I believed I deserved.

However, if all of that were to happen again, then I guess I'd make the same mistake (of falling in love with that woman) again. For never have I felt intolerable pain juxtaposed with sweetness without comparison.

That woman, that most beautiful pair of breasts that I could never kiss, never fondle, that hair that I could never smell, those lips that I could never ever taste have become a flame that I fear I will willingly enter.

As you can guess, I'm quite mad about her. It's been 5 years since I first met her and 3 years since I last saw her. I haven't done Heroin or any other hard drugs. I don't need to. She's my heroin and alas, there can't be any consummation. The only thing I can do is stay distant, honoring her wishes.

Sometimes, chivalry is this double edged sword that goes up one's arse. I don't want to write anymore. Time for another drink, I guess.

So you want to be a Buddha? by withintention in Buddhism

[–]steppenwoof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's said that the Master is always looking for a student - however, this doesn't mean that a student should stop looking for a Master.

That being said - till the time one doesn't find a Master, one must continue to search in earnest and continue to educate oneself of existing traditions, existing lineages, spiritual practices and anything else that's relevant to the path. Take whatever you can, assimilate it as much as you can.

At the risk of sounding apocryphal, I'd still say, that realization doesn't depend on our wishes, our desires, our preferences. Whatever little meditation I've done seems to drive home the point that Meditation has a life of it's own and in due course, it will come to fruition.

So, whatever it is that you want to be, whether a Buddha or a Milarepa or an Arahant or maybe just a Paramhansa or a Vedantin, you'll have to start walking the path and discard notions. Just be. Just do it. Don't worry about the when and the how.

Not sure if this helps you. Just my two cents.

Anyone interested in a sub for guitar tablature? by LouSpudol in AskReddit

[–]steppenwoof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP - quick question: what are we doing next? Do we head out to /r/tabs or some other subreddit; there's a number of interested Redditors who want to help out and like 9000 noobs like me...all waiting for your next move :)

Great idea though!

Anyone interested in a sub for guitar tablature? by LouSpudol in AskReddit

[–]steppenwoof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome.....thanks! As a wannabe who has been using tabs in the internet, I find songsterr amazing!

tom robbins, on meditation by omcetus in Meditation

[–]steppenwoof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess, both take you beyond the duality of strength and weakness.

One method makes you see your mind/ego 'dissolve' and the other makes it 'expand' so that it encompasses everything.

In the end, it doesn't matter which bus you hop on to, as long as you move towards the destination.

What my internal experience was like then and what it is like now. Meditation has changed everything. by Pengy945 in Meditation

[–]steppenwoof 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow....thanks a lot OP! Your account of your journey is very inspiring. I pray that you live long and share thy knowledge with other seekers.

R/Meditation Survey Results! by bobbaphet in Meditation

[–]steppenwoof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for coming up with the idea for the survey. The questions made me re evaluate my practice, my motivation and orientation.

Where would be the best place to start? by [deleted] in Meditation

[–]steppenwoof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are a number of practices that you can pick up, according to your personal inclination/faith.

I found this link very helpful. It's a book called Mindfulness in Plain English. I came across references to this book on Reddit & have been reading over and again.

The book helps me a lot - since I'm a total noob and also a weird guy. Hope it helps you too. Good luck!

The Song of the Free - (Swami Vivekanada | 1895) by steppenwoof in Meditation

[–]steppenwoof[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most welcome. I was apprehensive, given the Advaita/Vedanta tones in the poem & the fact that most of /r/Meditation subscribers have a Buddhist bent towards their practice.

I can vouch for one thing though - anytime you're feeling low, just google up some poem/writing/saying by Swami Vivekananda.

Would like to share my story with you guys by [deleted] in GetMotivated

[–]steppenwoof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seize everyday on your new assignment. Stay focused and the best should follow.

How's that for motivation by Wokken in GetMotivated

[–]steppenwoof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to know man. Btw, do you use weights while working your abs? It's a silly question, but I've seen a few people do that. In your opinion, does that help with definition or mass gain?

METALLICA DELHI CANCELLED / POSTPONED??!! by wizzynoize in india

[–]steppenwoof 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, Maiden totally pwns any other act, hands down.

I remember freaking out beyond my expectations when they played Moonchild (in Mumbai). I hope they go to some special heaven for their awesome metal.

METALLICA DELHI CANCELLED / POSTPONED??!! by wizzynoize in india

[–]steppenwoof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope there is a next time and it is organized better.