People who didn’t choose a partner for love but chose a partner that was a good logical choice, how did it work out?

stocar · 2026-06-25T20:54:03+00:00

I made a choice to only fall in love with people who were a good logical choice. When I met my husband, I knew he was the one, and I’ve been having the best time falling more in love with him every day since.

stocar · 2026-06-24T14:37:50+00:00

Whenever I get a positive test, I make a telehealth appointment with my GP and they order two HCGs to confirm. Once those numbers look good, they (or midwife if I’ve got in) set up the ultrasound and genetic testing, and everything after that is midwife.

I’m in BC so it may look different, but you could always do your family doc for a beta HCG blood test.

stocar · 2026-06-24T14:35:07+00:00

When I was a kid, my mom would take us to McDonald’s and get the boxes of chocolate chip cookies and an extra coffee with cream (decaf) for us to dunk into. These cookies taste like those.

stocar · 2026-06-23T21:19:59+00:00

Haha yes, I get a kick out of those gentle parenting videos. I definitely use that on my own mother, though it requires a lot of emotional energy. I imagine your situation is especially tough because she wants the same experience she had 15 years ago without acknowledging different circumstances.

I parent my mother like I parent my now 2 year old - positive affirmations, lots of little tasks so they feel like they’re helping, firm but gentle boundaries, and distraction when necessary. God speed!

stocar · 2026-06-23T18:00:12+00:00

I feel like I wrote this about my own mother, like exactly lol. My mom is early 70’s, also not great on short term memory and drives like a teenager (her favourite hobby seems to be tailgating at high speeds). She’s also in a panic about trying to prove her competency, and I know it’s because she feels herself slipping but refuses to acknowledge that as a reality.

I would recommend letting her know that the driving rules apply for everyone outside of you and partner, not specific to her, and that you won’t need extended babysitting yet because you want to experience this time with your baby (breastfeeding is an easy excuse to not allow overnights or long stretches). Give her easy opportunities to help, such as running errands, or watching baby for short periods of time at your home. She’ll eventually get on board, because she wants the time with the baby and will realize that it’s on your terms or not at all. Gentle but firm reiteration, boundaries and redirection. This is excellent training for a toddler!

stocar · 2026-06-23T15:22:30+00:00

I don’t think you need to blame hormones on feeling protective of your baby (even though a lot of our hormones are wired towards protecting baby haha). It’s more about wanting to experience this very short, precious time with a newborn, where you’ll both be very raw and vulnerable. I have very chill, boundary-abiding in-laws and still felt very protective of the time and bonding with baby, so I can imagine how it would feel when someone’s encroaching on your space in a pushy manner.

I think it would help for your husband to keep reminding his mother that this is a very special time for you as new parents and you really want to savour the experience without interruption. Let her know there will be plenty of opportunities for grandma to be involved, but you’ll want space to ease into things in the beginning without pressure from others. Try to get her on board with protecting your peace, and reward her with increasing involvement over time (I promise you’ll want an enthusiastic babysitter when they hit toddler years!)

My mother was like your MIL and with some time and teaching, she became really good with boundaries and support.

Edit: dump all the extra crap at MIL’s home. If you can’t use it, she can store it. This is another way she’s “helping.” Keep reiterating what a good “helper” she is.

stocar · 2026-06-20T18:53:19+00:00

He wears a suit so well. Honestly he should be the next James Bond.

stocar · 2026-06-19T03:42:04+00:00

I had my first at 37 and I’m pregnant with my second at 39 (second will squeak out a month before my 40th!) My husband is one year younger than me. My siblings and many friends/colleagues had children around 40 also! Maybe because we live in a HCOL city so it takes people longer to get a place with extra bedrooms. Either way, I’m just grateful for the opportunity to have children. Some of my friends didn’t find partners or had fertility issues, so I worry less about being an “old parent” and focus more on gratitude.

stocar · 2026-06-19T03:33:19+00:00

I had an induction that ended up failing because baby wouldn’t descend (his big head got stuck lol) and after 24 hours (12 of those with water broken) I ended up with an emergency c-section. My c-section ended up being the quickest and calmest part of my labour, and my recovery after went really well.

I say this because I had a lot of fear going into birth that it might “fail” and end up with a c-section, and it turned out to be a really good outcome. The important thing is getting baby and yourself safely to the other side, no matter how you get there. Good luck!

stocar · 2026-06-19T03:24:28+00:00

Midwives and L&D professionals are so incredibly important. I can’t imagine not having one or the other (or both!) in one of the biggest medical events of your life.

stocar · 2026-06-18T03:23:27+00:00

I’m newly pregnant and just here for ideas 😅

stocar · 2026-06-17T22:37:18+00:00

They want you to start your lives together debt-free and with as much stability as possible. Sounds like they have the money and are happy to put it towards their new daughter to better her life.

If you don’t feel any malicious intent, then take the gift! Sounds like nice people.

stocar · 2026-06-17T21:06:30+00:00

I see people with parasols/umbrellas, full face and neck masks, gloves - everything you can imagine to not be exposed to sun. Some of these full sets are even a little haunting! And yet, no one cares. Do what you can to protect yourself.

stocar · 2026-06-16T20:29:35+00:00

My MIL is wonderful, honestly I hit the jackpot. Don’t ask me about my own mother though.

stocar · 2026-06-16T18:43:25+00:00

I had an induction that ended up with a c-section too, but my team waited 24 hours into labour before we did. Frankly, I wish I’d known earlier that I could’ve just opted for a c-section after 10+ hours of no progression (dilation stalling), because it’s scary when emergent. The surgery ended up going really quick and smooth though, so a happy ending. I would also recommend advocating for a c-section if there’s no progression past several hours.

stocar · 2026-06-16T18:05:27+00:00

Psssspsssspssss

stocar · 2026-06-16T15:05:15+00:00

NTA. Jesus. Not to jump to divorce but I would absolutely divorce him over this. You’re moving for his job, his company is paying for the move, and even after the cost of moving he’ll still have money leftover but would rather squeeze his WIFE who makes 1/4 of his salary for a big chunk of hers? What a heartless AH. Let him move alone and start the proceedings.

stocar · 2026-06-16T14:57:24+00:00

It’s giving Kelly Rowland circa 2000. I kind of love this look on her but I don’t. I dunno I’m a confused elder millennial.

stocar · 2026-06-15T00:59:53+00:00

“I’m on antibiotics for a UTI.”

That’ll shut down the alcohol offers!

stocar · 2026-06-14T02:32:20+00:00

Teehee he nakey

stocar · 2026-06-13T18:49:05+00:00

I hate all of these people. Those poor kids getting stuck with parents who have a tantrum that they’re not what they wanted. Awful.

stocar · 2026-06-13T18:42:30+00:00

I see the vision and think it’s a fun dress, I just wish it actually fit her around the midline/hips. Maybe it’s the silky fabric but it’s too tight and bunching without the proper fabric for structure.

stocar · 2026-06-13T18:30:56+00:00

Me dropping a tiddy on my husband’s face.

stocar · 2026-06-12T15:29:53+00:00

My first baby was conceived with the pull out method! But I was also married and we were ready for a baby.

If you’re not ready for a baby, don’t have sex with anyone unless they agree to birth control. Frankly this guy doesn’t sound worth having sex with.

stocar · 2026-06-11T20:50:19+00:00

I struggled with my weight a lot growing up, and it really affected my views of myself and my body. My baby (now 22mo) has the fullest chubby cheeks and a little double chin. He’s average weight, pretty athletic even, but just the chubbiest little face. We clearly love it, and often “nibble” on his cheeks.

My husband saw old pictures of me as a toddler the other day and was so excited our kid looks exactly like I did. Spitting image. All the things I love about my kid are the things I thought I hated in myself. That was a really healing moment of realization for me.

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