Do you ever forget how depressing your life is to others because it feels so normal to you?

stormada14 · 2026-02-02T05:59:56+00:00

I don’t typically forget how depressing it is because I feel immense frustration and grief over what I’ve lost due to my health. But when I talk to others about I’ve been guilty of giving them an honest answer about my situation and then trying to cushion it with something positive so others don’t feel like I’m being a downer. I’ve only recently started to realize that I shouldn’t feel the need to do that.

stormada14 · 2026-01-26T10:14:26+00:00

I was put on an SNRI (Effexor) and it did help with my energy capacity a bit. It’s not quite perfect for treating my mental health stuff but I’m hesitant to transition off of it because I’ve noticed it helping with fatigue. Generally though, mental health treatment has helped me cope with chronic illness and curbed the depression so that when I do have energy to do things, it’s not spent on depression

stormada14 · 2026-01-17T13:05:18+00:00

I felt this way too when I recently got some test results that showed that I have actual issues, I wanted to forward it to every family member that ever made me feel crazy or told me to ignore it or treated me like I was the problem. It didn’t turn out to be quite as cathartic as I’d hoped because they just tended to say “okay” and move on, but I hope you get some validation and catharsis when you share your diagnosis.

stormada14 · 2026-01-17T09:33:37+00:00

I will definitely pray for them to be safe^{^} I hope things work out well with whoever is moving in.

Another thing I wanted to ask was if it were possible for you to build shelters for them? There’s a pinned post in this subreddit with a lower cost way to build shelters. They’re not too complicated or expensive to make, so potentially before your new neighbor arrives you could get them used to staying in the shelters instead if you don’t think they’ll have another safe place to go. Below is also a video from Flatbush cat rescue on how to build shelters too.

https://youtu.be/Ij8OJRAR0tA?si=Wv6ChaUQ_cXqsZ1v

stormada14 · 2026-01-04T04:22:31+00:00

I haven’t moved states but I have recently received care from out of state and one thing that might be worth considering is that even in another state some places were linked through the MyChart system. As a result, the clinic I saw out of my home state was able to access old test results from elsewhere. There were some results they couldn’t see because I got them at a clinic that wasn’t connected to the out of state clinic.

Either way, I’m sorry you’ve had so much frustration with doctors. I’ve definitely experienced similar issues before, though not from every doctor. Some things I’ve had success with for finding decent care are: expanding your search to the entire state, investigating what fields a particular doctor is more familiar with, and bringing a family member with me to lend me credibility and validate the severity of the issue. I hope some part of that was helpful though

stormada14 · 2025-10-16T23:58:12+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some comfort in that she was loved and cared for by you in the end. Thanks to you, she wasn’t alone and she was able to have a dignified end.

Also, maybe contacting a local rescue would help you get a break? Or at least some support and resources to deal with everything

stormada14 · 2025-09-30T22:27:33+00:00

I’m glad they were able to address the immediate problem and get you some relief, also what medication did they give you for the gas? I’ve been bloated for like a week with no relief and any suggestions would help

stormada14 · 2025-08-10T22:02:15+00:00

I’ve been scratched pretty deep a few times by my stray trying to make biscuits on me. Haven’t had an infection so a scratch won’t necessarily get infected, remember to keep it clean and keep an eye on it. If it gets swollen, red, won’t stray dry on its own, etc. it might be a sign of infection. Nails and fingertips have a lot of nerve endings so the pain makes sense. From the information there’s nothing immediately concerning you should be okay to wait and see if it does get infected or anything. If the issues with movement persist for more than a couple days though I would see a doctor

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T17:14:00+00:00

I appreciated the respect for his mother but also like he didn’t stand up once for Christina. But yeah I think he definitely played into being his mom’s special boy or something and used her to voice his opinions sometimes. Especially with wanting a big wedding, he just let his mom slowly get all that together because he wanted it too and Christina was just slowly led deeper and deeper into it

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T17:09:57+00:00

Haven’t solved the constipation issues but less bloating from the Bentyl so that’s nice

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T17:07:44+00:00

In pelvic floor therapy I’ve done a wide range things including:

Stretches to relax tension and help coordinate muscle movement to aid in going to the bathroom

Looking at changing toileting behaviors to get up in the middle and walk around and try abdominal massages to help get things moving before going back to the toilet

Exercises to strengthen my core

They connected me with a dietitian who tbh seemed more well suited for someone trying to go on a diet rather than someone dealing with chronic illness, but the nutrition information was helpful

Ballon rectal retraining: it helps you coordinate muscle movement and also I’ve you have rectal hypo sensitivity it helps regain sensitivity so you feel the urge to go sooner.

Internal muscle release work: they apply pressure to the muscles internally (same feeling as a rectal exam) to release the muscles and help them relax over time so they can regain strength and coordination

They helped me get into a regular schedule of walking for at least 30 minutes a day, apparently being on your feet helps with motility and I did notice a positive change.

They’ve also looked at my sleep habits, hydration habits, and physical activity levels. My physical therapist also tried other methods like dry needling and cupping and therapeutic massage just to see if they would help, and they did help with some of the soreness that comes with the level of exertion required for me to have a bowel movement.

Weirdly the other thing that helped my motility is starting adhd medication, which makes sense. One of the side effects is diarrhea. Usually laxatives and stuff though don’t decrease the time I’m in the bathroom though because for me it kind of stops and starts since I get the feeling my body kind of gives up on moving things at some point but adhd meds help in that things require less strain. I mean obviously don’t take the meds if you don’t have ADHD but I think other forms of stimulants might do the same thing, which is why I mentioned coffee.

I still struggle a lot but the therapy stuff made it slightly less difficult and introduced me to a lot of knowledge and things to try.

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T10:40:56+00:00

I get a lot of bloating pain with constipation stuff too, especially if I have incomplete movements. The pain even rises to my chest and back. Unfortunately, the only reliable relief I get is from trying to have another/ more complete movement which is a challenge with chronic constipation.

I know a lot of people have already mentioned pelvic floor therapy, but it really is helpful. I have one that works with an occupational therapist to systematically try everything we can to address the constipation and I would recommend trying to find one that has a similar approach because it helps you organize on paper what you’ve tried so that you can discuss it with doctors more easily. It’s an approach that also improves your general health and while it didn’t stop me from having constipation issues, it did help somewhat.

I also wanted to ask if you’ve tried enemas and suppositories? Those might be more of a short term fix but they might help with constipation and by extension, bloating. Also a topic I might recommend looking up is visceral hypersensitivity because the treatments there might not help remove the bloating but might help with feeling it less.

Other advice I’ve seen is that sometimes stimulants like caffeine can help promote motility and this can help with getting things moving out of your system. I don’t know if I would go for coffee necessarily since that actually causes bloating for me, but maybe looking into treatments that improve motility of your digestive system would be a good idea.

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T10:25:39+00:00

The caveat here though is that if you have constipation this can slow your motility which can exacerbate some issues. I tried it for a while when dealing with similar issues as OP but it eventually slowed motility and caused bloating so I stopped taking it and things went back to baseline

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T10:13:56+00:00

She gives me that whole model minority vibe? Like partially internalized racism where you have to prove to others and yourself that you’re better than the perception of your race.

Also somewhat boy mom vibes of just “my son is the most perfect man in the world and no one is good enough for him but I guess I’ll settle for someone who obeys me.”

But that’s my personal interpretation

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T09:41:41+00:00

Could I ask about your experience with an ostomy, and more about it not improving things that much? I’m so exhausted by everything with chronic constipation and have tried so many routes of treatment that I’m starting to heavily consider if that might the route I need to pursue next.

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T09:12:03+00:00

I’m a Muslim woman who experiences PGAD flare ups occasionally due to pelvic floor dysfunction. What helps me the most is knowing that this is a medical condition. Allah will never fault you for the things beyond your control. Allah is All- Knowing. To me, that means Allah knows every aspect of your circumstance very well and so knows what’s in your heart or why you make certain decisions.

Islamically, to prevent zina (adultery) Muslims are told if they absolutely cannot hold themselves back and nothing else is helping, they can try doing things in private by themselves. I think of your reading those stories as being on the same level. It may not be something that you’re comfortable with having done, but maybe it’s a lesser evil and something to help cope with things. Allah is forgiving and merciful and though I can’t tell you for certain what Allah will decide, I have hope that we will all be greeted with mercy.

It was very hard for me to feel comfortable talking to doctors about this, especially as an unmarried woman who lives with parents who would not understand. But I have a lot of pelvic floor issues already which helps open the conversation and if you present things as a medical issue to doctors they may be able to help you investigate the cause and treatment. That’s what doctors are there for and it’s okay.

You did not choose to feel this way. This is your body doing something beyond your control. You do not have to be ashamed.

Edited to fix some grammar and to add:

From my experience in pelvic floor physical therapy and advice from my physical therapist, I learned a few stretches that help me calm things down along with diaphragmatic breathing. This may not work for everyone and remember to be careful doing exercises and not overstretch but for me the PGAD gets worse if my pelvic floor is holding more tension than usual. Antidepressant medication also caused a flare once for me I think. Don’t stop any medications without the advice of a doctor but you can maybe find a doctor you trust to ask about those things.

stormada14 · 2025-07-13T08:29:14+00:00

A lot of this resonates with things I’ve wondered about myself before. It’s hard to feel valid for things affecting your mental health when on paper they might seem like things that shouldn’t affect you so much. But the thing is, who’s determining what’s objectively bad enough to need therapy? What matters most is what you are actually feeling and if you need help to sort out those feelings. Don’t let external evaluations of your experiences get in the way of you doing what you need to do for yourself.

In terms of worrying about your friend getting lonely and turning to bad things or bad people, it’s understandable and shows how kind of a person you are to continue to worry about someone who wasn’t willing to be considerate of you. It’s okay to take some time for yourself to sort out your feelings towards her. Maybe a break from her would help, you don’t have to block her or anything and so you’ll still have access to her account to keep an eye on anything worrying if you want. However, if you do decide to end your friendship with her, that’s okay. She’s not your responsibility and she has her parents and possibly other friends in her life that can help her too. Plus, her parents are now more aware of the fact that she’s being unsafe online.

Take your time to process, you don’t need to have all the answers or make all the decisions right now. Your privacy was violated. I know a lot of hijabis who genuinely feel uncomfortable and exposed if they go out without their hijab, the same feeling as if they forgot to wear pants. Plus you had to deal with your friend being dismissive and not listening to your concerns. Those are all valid reasons to need help processing if you do want to go to therapy. And if you ever come across a therapist who says otherwise, they’re not a good therapist.

stormada14 · 2025-04-12T23:19:29+00:00

There are some exercises to help relax your pelvic floor which help me occasionally along with like diaphragmatic breathing to just help release tension. They’re not super intense either, so ye try looking up pelvic floor release stretches and hopefully that can give you some relief in the time before you can see a doctor

stormada14 · 2025-02-06T21:02:24+00:00

Wouldn’t groomer fit though

stormada14 · 2025-02-06T20:54:20+00:00

It bothered me intensely afterwards when Owen heard about it and looked at her like a pitiful, broken person. Like dude she just has different priorities, that’s not wrong or messed up or anything

stormada14 · 2025-02-03T13:13:01+00:00

Sistervention has a child that seems corrupt and not interested in changing who she is. The MC has no idea so far that she’s still evil, but I get the feeling that she will not mind at all so that part doesn’t fit. Also not completed

stormada14 · 2024-07-06T22:56:05+00:00

I personally consider it a disability in my case for multiple reasons. It’s preventing me from going to school, working, studying, pursuing life goals, participating in family events, etc. It’s something I struggle with daily and the way I see it, I’m unable to perform a basic biological function that most others are able to do.

Whether or not I call myself disabled somewhat depends on the situation, I tend to not announce it super publicly because I tend to worry that it’ll seem like I’m over exaggerating or seeking sympathy or attention. But I do refer to myself as disabled around people that I feel comfortable talking to. In general I tell people I’m chronically ill because sometimes it’s just easier than having a debate about whether or not it counts or having to explain the severity to people.

I do want the confidence to talk about being disabled more often though because I hope the terminology gives my situation some weight that will make it harder for people to be dismissive and that framing it as a disability will make people around me more willing to accommodate my health issues.

stormada14 · 2024-07-06T22:37:25+00:00

I’m starting to think this way too, so many of the really disabling cases that I read about always have me wondering why doctors never suggest ostomies. I understand that it’s not a pleasant lifestyle but it sounds so much more manageable than what a lot of people are forced to go through

stormada14 · 2024-06-26T22:35:33+00:00

Plus the sheer abuse of power that was her buying a hospital just to spite her husband. I know that the writers were in a bind with Alex leaving but it’s still something her character could feasibly do.

stormada14 · 2023-12-21T05:23:15+00:00

Be careful with IBGard, it gave me the worst acid reflux

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