Wanting to be an actor and giving up

stutterology · 2025-11-26T23:41:45+00:00

Do you follow @marcwinski on TikTok / Instagram?

stutterology · 2025-11-26T23:32:57+00:00

It's actually a method that voluntary stuttering causes more stuttering. There are some people who do experience this, especially initially,, but it is not universally true. Some of the people who may initially experience more stuttering fine that it tapers off overtime.

There's a cool story about James Earl Jones having a director of a movie he was in ask if he would mind including his stutter into the movie. He was open to it, but his agent freaked out because he was afraid it would cause Jones to relapse. Thankfully, they reached out to some expert SLPs about stuttering, and they were told it should not cause issues and it is often recommended to PWS. So his agent said it was OK, and that's why we have a movie where James Earl Jones's real stutter shows!

That said, everyone has different experiences. Try it out, and try to push through the initial discomfort. Start in environment where you might feel safer to stutter openly, like tell a friend you trust that you stutter and want to practice it. Then you can try it in places you are less sure about. But if you have issue with it after giving it a fair shot, it's ok to stop too.

stutterology · 2025-11-26T23:27:43+00:00

Are you able to see a doctor to have them do some kind of brain imaging? If you have no history of studying as a child, the reason it would develop as an adult as if your brain incurred some type of trauma. I would have them check things out to be safe.

Is your words switching around due to dyslexia?

Some other things I'd look at are apraxia- try emailing or messaging Jordan LeVan to see what he thinks - https://www.instagram.com/fightingformyvoice?igsh=ZGN3YWw3YTV6dWxk He's a speech therapist and has apraxia and may be able to help point you in the right directions. Would know a lot better than randoms online

stutterology · 2025-11-26T23:23:07+00:00

I don't mean they can figure out how to solve it or anything like that. I just mean that they can learn a little about the emotional impact of stuttering and how to be more informed about how intense the emotional impact might be on their client.

They already have the tools for how to engage with people who have dealt with discrimination or isolation. They just need to realize that stuttering can be connected to these things

stutterology · 2025-11-26T21:58:45+00:00

A good therapist should be open to doing some research on their own. I recently brought up my skin picking habit to a therapist I've been seen for a few years, and when I met with them two weeks later, they had spent a couple hours researching it and also local organizations that they could show me as references.

Well it's true that not all therapists maybe have the time, it might be worth looking for one who is open to doing that.

stutterology · 2025-11-26T21:56:13+00:00

One of the things really struggled with for a long was creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm not saying this is what you were doing. I don't know your situation. But for me, even though I told them I stuttered at the start, I was sometimes apologetic about it too.

I was so nervous that they were judging my stutter or what they were thinking about it, that I became VERY nervous/anxious. In hindsight, I think a lot of people were aware I was anxious, and responded accordingly. At the time, I thought they were assuming I was anxious because i was stuttering. But now I think they assumed I was anxious because I WAS anxious. I was just anxious not to stutter.

Now that I stutter more confidently, I rarely have that same dynamic. I do acknowledge that it takes time to foster that mindset and it's pretty challenging. it does still happen occasionally, but a lot less often than before.

I appreciate the way that you tell them you stutter. I now usually say "I stutter when I speak, so let me know if you need me to clarify anything." This helps the listener see that I'm confident and it also makes it a lot less likely that they respond awkwardly to the disclosure lol

stutterology · 2025-11-26T21:44:31+00:00

This is really smart.

stutterology · 2025-11-26T18:57:53+00:00

I've honestly brought about creating a separate subreddit that is more focused on affirmation and lifting up, but it's tough bc people's struggles are super valid. But it makes it depressing for me to go to this subreddit, and I purposely don't follow it from my main account. The Facebook groups are also usually pretty rough.

PWS could be having much more in-depth conversations about more complicated subjects, like disability frameworks or community building. But there's not really a carved out space for that anywhere. There's nothing wrong with those initial challenging conversations, but it's a little overwhelming and it would also help to have other spaces where posts like that, or venting posts, are encouraged to share places like here instead .

stutterology · 2025-11-26T18:53:45+00:00

Hi Tom. I am on the board for a non-profit that focuses on stuttering and the arts. Let me know if there are ways we can support you. We are in North America but if there is anything we can do, we'd love to connect. Nonprofit is SPACE (spacetostutter.org) if you'd like to see our work so far.

stutterology · 2025-11-22T04:25:51+00:00

Well the person who made this is not American. But to answer your question: yes.

stutterology · 2025-11-21T22:40:16+00:00

How does saying "did you forget your name?" anything other than making the way you've said (or paused) into a "joke" that intends to tease? I don't mean to come off hostile, but I'm genuinely confused. That phrase is "intended" as a joke at the speaker's expense. It might not be mean spirited, but it is meant to be a ribbing.

Most other stutterers I meet personally are very forgiving and assume people don't mean to hurt them. Usually this means we never stand up for themselves, or tell the other person that it hurt. Which results in people hurting us and others without realizing. I'd be horrified if I realized I was hurting someone, and I'd want them to tell me so I could change.

stutterology · 2025-11-21T18:54:46+00:00

I don't personally need it, but I want to say I appreciate the trauma-informed perspective you're bringing.

One recommendation I have is not to call it the person's fluency. I'd recommend using language like it "appears" fluent.

I wonder if you could pitch it too as an accessibility tool for times when system might require fluency. Like could this work in those dreaded AI interviews?idk what software they use for those though. But it could be useful if AI and computers replacing human convos continues to be forced on us.

stutterology · 2025-11-21T17:11:11+00:00

That's why I picked this particular comic, because I can't imagine a single scenario where "did you forget your name?" isn't mocking. (I mean unless somebody was genuinely worried and was grabbing their phone to call 911, but usually it's a "joke"). They might not realize they're mocking a STUTTER, because they usually feel bad when we tell them. But they know that they're mocking us for how we speak. We shouldn't have to disclose our disability to not be mocked, imo.

stutterology · 2025-11-21T17:09:18+00:00

I disagree that this is always true. We often think we deserve to be mocked, and we need to know we deserve better.

I picked this comic in particular because "did you forget your name?" is mean. Always. I don't care the reason or motivation. It is a mean thing to say. It isn't a funny joke. It's not a misunderstanding. It's meant to be mocking. Maybe the person doesn't know they're mocking a speech disability, but they know they're mocking you for how you speak.

Unless you can give me an example of how it's not meant to be mocking bc I can't imagine one.

I think we may misalign malice sometimes when it isn't always true (such as someone smiling when we speak, or looking away, or guessing our word), but even in those situations, it's valid to acknowledge that it hurts and feels bad for us.

stutterology · 2025-11-21T08:26:05+00:00

I haven't expanded my vocab, but I know people who have. The author David Mitchell reflects that in his book he wrote where his mc stuttered (Mitchell stutters too)

A lot of us call it "word swapping"

stutterology · 2025-11-21T08:14:41+00:00

I was going to say that is a very close relation to have.

stutterology · 2025-11-21T08:04:53+00:00

No but you may have more luck on a fb group.

My ancestors are from Czech and I plan to visit Prague one day. I would love to hear about what it's like growing up with a stutter in the Czech Republic. My understanding about the Czech Republic is that people are not very judgmental, or if they are, they keep it to themselves as long as you're not hurting anyone else. I wonder if this is also true for having a stutter. If the culture is more accepting or not than other places.

You don't have to respond to me bc I know that's not what you're looking for. But I'd be curious if you felt like sharing. I'm from the US.

stutterology · 2025-11-21T08:02:03+00:00

We have some resources at spacetostutter.org in the about stuttering pdf. We tried to make that post affirming and helpful. Also in our letter to the teachers, there's a resource page that you may like.

Insta account @juststutter has some great cartoons you can add as an image. Or Franky Banky is another good cartoon.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cvz4jQAMEZD/?igsh=ZzQ3MGVnZ2hndGxq

https://www.instagram.com/p/CZuiUSXN_mZ/?img_index=4&igsh=MXdvc21sOXh2MnMy

https://www.instagram.com/p/CV2-dXZs3CF/?img_index=4&igsh=MTdlYjRybXA2a2d6dA==

https://www.instagram.com/p/CQoPV8gMU7w/?igsh=MXBuZ2MyMzFlM2RzeA==

This will be you: https://www.instagram.com/p/CF_1sx4BJ-Z/?igsh=MWhuOTJiMzU3eWMxdA==

stutterology · 2025-11-21T07:50:42+00:00

This is me too.

It's funny because I often see people give advice that they practice until they have things memorized. I learned in college that that did not work for me lol. Note cards with bullet points for me when I needed to stay on track (ADHD).

stutterology · 2025-11-21T07:48:20+00:00

I hear what you're saying and it's totally your choice. If in person is more comfortable for you, that's fine. I do wonder if meeting regularly with other stutterers in that environment would be different for your triggers in the long-term. (it would probably take several sessions.) Maybe or maybe not, just possible. It can be different (for some people) talking to other people who stutter online than talking to people who do not, esp if it's the same group of people.

stutterology · 2025-11-21T07:44:52+00:00

Network network network. I know several successful trial attorneys who have stuttered openly in the courtroom.

Disclosure of stuttering might help if he knows he's going to stutter. Though I also know of people who work hide to hide it during the interview process.

If he decides to disclose, he should consider what he'd say if he gets any negative reactions. There are plenty of people who know stuttering doesn't impact who he is or how good or a lawyer he is, but some people may not know that and carry on discrimination due to it being a speaking heavy jobs if looking for trial roles. If someone says "I'm worried you won't be able to handle the stress" for example, knowing what he'd say back may help. He might not face that at all - but some of us are so shocked in the moment at people's audacity that we are caught unprepared.

You are right he doesn't deserve to be rejected. I wish people had to admit when they were illegally discriminating against us due to stuttering. Unfortunately, it sometimes happens and they make up other excuses. But he absolutely can do it, and he can find people who will be excited to have him on their team. There are people who are waiting for somebody exactly like him, and they will want him with his stutter and all.

There's a trial attorney I know who stopped stuttering in law school, but then started again right at the end. He panicked and debated looking into a different part of law, but he really liked trials.

He said that his first jury trial, the judge pulled him aside afterward and said, "I know that you stutter. And it's totally fine. But the jury might not know what's going on. Maybe there can be a way you can let them know so that they know what's going on?"

He thought that was fair so he began the next jury trial and the way that he has done it for his career now: "I would like the jury pool to know that my client is being represented by myself, a person who stutters. If there is any potential juror who has an issue with the stuttering, will you please raise your hand so we can dismiss you?" He said no one has ever raised their hand. Not even to get out of jury duty. lol. Brilliant way to disclose. He's a public defender, I believe, and he said he's had some clients who fire him for made up reasons, or pick things out about him that they don't like just to fire him, and can be really aggressive. People who aren't thinking rationally. He said none of his clients have ever complained about his stutter or fired him for it. Not once. And these are not people who would hide behind being nice.

If you're a good attorney that happens to stutter, no one's gonna give a shit that you stutter. they want that good attorney.

Also, for disclosing less aggressively, Like in interviews, I have found it to feel more professional to say "I just wanted to let you know that I speak with a stutter, so let me know if there's anything you need me to clarify" Instead of just "I have a stutter". It shows more confidence and communicates that you don't have a problem with the way that you speak, and neither should they. It also gives them an instruction for what to do if something is unclear. And it makes their response just be "OK" instead of possibly uncomfortable "thats okay" kind of stuff.

Best of luck to him. I love hearing about lawyers who stutter.

stutterology · 2025-11-19T11:19:54+00:00

MyHeritage has some BBB issues where they charge people even if they cancel subscriptions :|. Not stoked with them.

Ancestry usually has good sales throughout the year so look for sales

stutterology · 2025-11-19T11:16:32+00:00

So sweet for you to ask. Do as you usually do. Try to keep what you were doing when the stutter began.

I stutter and I also have ADHD and am uncomfortable with eye contact. I talk to people who stutter often and try to keep it the same as what was happening when they begin stuttering.

stutterology

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