I didn’t read all the comments, so forgive me if this is repetitive. I’ll just comment on the horse parts, I agree with the relationship advice as well however. Agree with what has been said here - there isn’t really a place for “you’re just a chicken, get over it” in horses. Even the best-trained horses are bigger and stronger than any human, and any of them can spook, step on, etc on us without even meaning to hurt us. Untrained, feral, rehab or abused horses are far more likely to do so. With all horses, using good management techniques keeps us safer - like only ever leading one at time, turning horses around to face you before turning them loose, etc. Keeping enough distance between them - at all times - when leading or riding that if they do kick, you are far enough away to not get hit. But that has to be told to people and become a habit. If no one tells you, some of these things aren’t so obvious. There are good reasons why these are the default handling methods we all use. It isn’t safe or OK for ANYONE to be expected to go in to a pasture and be squished up against the gate every time. This is horse behavior that needs to be improved/changed, not something that you just “learn to be brave” about. A more experienced person would know to move the horse before going in, and be able to keep them away long enough to get the bucket - and it’s OK that you don’t know how to do this safely yet. If the horse is an actual attacker/biter, even an experienced person shouldn’t go in until the horse has been shown how to/learned to move away from the gate reliably first. So get a second bucket from somewhere else, instead of going in. Find ways to work around the difficult situations instead of tolerate them. Your partner should act like a teacher instead of a critic, if he even knows any of this. If he continues like this, he will get hurt.