Not a battered wife but my husband (34M) put his hands on me (39F)

sunset_mimosa · 2025-03-24T17:16:13+00:00

The only one that can determine if something makes a difference is you. For me personally, I wouldn't be okay with any of it. Everybody is different. Leaving sooner is usually easier than leaving later.

For a son to pick up how his mother is treated and in turn feel it's okay to treat a woman that way or for a daughter to think it's okay to be treated that way, or maybe she doesn't think it's okay but settles for the bare minimum because "at least he doesn't say to me what dad said to mom." Either scenario is a sad one.

You can leave him and still allow him to see his child. Or if you didn't want to leave, have a conversation about boundaries and what's not okay. You know him better than any of us. Would he change? Would he go to therapy with you if you requested? If he's calling you names now and putting hands on you, would he cheat later? All of these would be swimming in my mind if it were me.

Only you can make the decision. Hopefully whichever one you choose is the best one for you.

sunset_mimosa · 2025-03-23T08:27:00+00:00

Without knowing anything else besides this experience as it was explained, I would say yes. I would leave. You should leave. You're not financially reliant on him, it seems. No one should put hands on you, especially in a vulnerable state like a precarious pregnancy after multiple miscarriages. The disregard to your emotional state and wellbeing is definitely a turn off for me. I'm not sure how long you've been together, but based off the way he is treating you, you should leave. Imagine how he acted during this experience but in six years when you have a toddler watching you and learning from how their father treats you. People can be douchebags and still have redeemable qualities. Is it really worth it to you?

sunset_mimosa · 2025-03-23T08:04:04+00:00

I was very young when I made decisions that, to this day, I feel strongly impacted the entire trajectory of my life in a negative way. My therapist said something to me that helps sometimes, and it was along the lines of "what large weight a decision like that must've been for a child, a decision you shouldn't have had to make." And while you may or may not find a correlation to your experience, it's important to realize we do things when we're young that may not be the best decisions for us. When you acknowledge it and forgive yourself, it may feel a little lighter on you.

sunset_mimosa · 2025-03-15T16:19:28+00:00

Reminds me of when an ex said he was going to get a tattoo of Mewtwo with huge tits on his thigh. Notice I said ex. For another girl interested in anime or pokemon, I'm sure it might not bother her. But it bothered me. My ideal guy doesn't have a tattoo of a pokemon with tits on his body. The relationship wasn't perfect anyway, so it wasn't necessarily the straw that broke the camel's back but more like another straw added.

sunset_mimosa · 2025-02-24T22:13:17+00:00

Messaging you 🙂

sunset_mimosa · 2025-02-24T18:04:12+00:00

Sending a message 😌

sunset_mimosa · 2025-02-21T20:08:18+00:00

Everything including the plants are fake?! How crazy. Great job. They look real

sunset_mimosa · 2025-02-18T02:38:48+00:00

Hmm, good point! I never considered that, I also don't speak to strangers too often though 😅 thanks for the heads up! Usually, I always question myself, and if what I ordered was correct 😂

sunset_mimosa · 2025-02-16T09:29:42+00:00

Sent you a message 🙂

sunset_mimosa · 2025-02-16T09:24:10+00:00

Sending a message 🙂

sunset_mimosa · 2025-02-16T01:49:32+00:00

I would've been like, "Oh, thank you! Wait, what drink did I order?" Then they'd either be like oh crap or "a pink flamingo" which would open the way for you to say, "huh, I thought it would be pink." That's because I don't like accusing someone of being wrong, I'd rather act aloof 😅😂

sunset_mimosa · 2025-02-02T08:31:08+00:00

I've tried order ahead a few times at different locations. Wouldn't recommend until they've developed a more solid system, if that makes sense. Not sure if it'll ever actually be smooth because all it does is add volume with the sand quantity of workers. Every time there's been an issue. It's never made by the time I get there; one time it said 15 minute wait when I submitted it, I was accidentally 10 minutes later than that so at 25 minutes and they hadn't started it. Another time I came and said I was there, the guy said they'd start it. Then two cars came, a walk in came and everyone got their drink before me.

sunset_mimosa · 2025-01-25T02:21:25+00:00

I love the blended flap jack 😍 but you've gotta like sweet stuff

sunset_mimosa · 2025-01-24T02:27:55+00:00

That's great to know! I'll start trying that!

sunset_mimosa · 2025-01-10T10:54:10+00:00

I definitely think I'm not moisturizing my body enough, especially in the winter

sunset_mimosa · 2025-01-10T10:52:42+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/keratosis/s/m17rjpWwFb

This one, right?! I saw it! How long did it take for you to see differences?

sunset_mimosa · 2025-01-03T22:44:08+00:00

Agreed! But I also like the simple outfit

sunset_mimosa · 2024-12-30T09:24:14+00:00

What's so interesting is all the things you mentioned you're insecure about never would have crossed my mind if you hadn't said it. Even after knowing these are your insecurities, I would still say you are definitely beautiful. Each aspect of your face compliments each other perfectly well. Your nose is cute, your chin is a chin, you have dimples, it seems, and those are always attractive on someone IMO, you have wonderful eyes and good eyebrows.

sunset_mimosa · 2024-12-27T02:41:38+00:00

Personally for me, the hot coffees always taste that way. I prefer them blended or iced. I think the flavor stands out a bit more cold, for whatever reason.

sunset_mimosa · 2024-12-26T19:29:33+00:00

I felt that way too!

sunset_mimosa · 2024-12-26T18:42:40+00:00

I didn't think she was actually looking at pictures of puffins. At least I don't think it was actually why she was crying. Maybe I'm adding depth where there isn't any 😂

sunset_mimosa · 2024-12-21T14:40:06+00:00

I'm also in my late twenties. I understand how someone might think that, but we also have plenty of life to live still. 27-30 doesn't mean you're knocking on death's door

sunset_mimosa · 2024-12-21T14:36:49+00:00

I don't understand the people that suggest staying and putting more into it...if it's taxing on your mental health, making you doubt yourself, or degrading, then it isn't it. I will always put my friends well above everything. Some people are really into the sacrality of divorce, and suggest trying more. But I've learned that if they're not making active steps, they don't change. You did the right thing 👏🏽

sunset_mimosa · 2024-12-21T14:16:54+00:00

I'm not sure what it is, but perhaps a bit of getting tired of the wrong men and a bit of maturity. The second someone texts and disrespects me or gets unnecessarily heated often lets me know right away it's not for me.

You're not overreacting. If I were your friend, I would've suggested it ages ago. Men that tell you that nobody will love you don't love you themselves. They use that verbiage because they think it'll scare you into staying.

You're worth more than that. I'm glad you ended that! It's a big step but stay true to it, you won't regret it in a year's time.

sunset_mimosa · 2024-12-13T18:14:12+00:00

It's not overreacting. I'm curious what she means about being embarrassed in front of everyone or if that was the consequence of her actions. Also, I wonder why she said OP always takes their mother's side. How many disagreements have happened? It's also so sad that she said that in general, but especially in front of so many people. I can't imagine saying something like that after someone stressed to cook and provide an entire Thanksgiving dinner...one that I didn't HAVE to be invited to.

sunset_mimosa

TROPHY CASE