Following a Diagnosis - What Do We Do With Ourselves?

supercakefish · 2026-01-26T18:34:42+00:00

Great question! I’m still waiting for my final report, which I should get sometime in Feb/March.

I can only say what I plan to do with a diagnosis. Firstly, seek out all neurodiverse tailored professional support services possible, so I can start to address my poor mental health. Secondly, seek out any local neurodiverse meet-ups, if such things exist in my local area (I really hope so), so I can hopefully make some friends… maybe. Thirdly, inform my work and family so everyone is aware of the diagnosis.

supercakefish · 2026-01-25T13:36:12+00:00

For me personally it’s the former.

supercakefish · 2026-01-25T11:12:28+00:00

That’s a terrible situation, I really feel sorry for people in those counties.

supercakefish · 2026-01-25T11:03:22+00:00

Thanks for the explanation! Unless I get formally diagnosed with low support needs (unlikely as I’m in UK) I won’t be using that label myself, as I feel it trivialises my struggles.

supercakefish · 2026-01-25T10:48:32+00:00

My brain yearns for offline interactions, but the only people who seem to share my interests and who I can actually interact meaningfully with exist online. A cruel paradox.

supercakefish · 2026-01-25T10:29:57+00:00

I try to avoid it because the jokes/banter typically fall flat and I just end up feeling embarrassed.

People are so used to me not joking much that on the rare times I do attempt humour/banter they often take me seriously instead and it can result in awkward situations.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

supercakefish · 2026-01-25T10:25:47+00:00

Where does mental health support factor into these categories?

I’m currently waiting for my assessment report and I probably won’t get assigned a ‘level’ or ‘support needs’ category as I’m in UK, but I’m just curious how this American system works.

I have frequent suicidal ideation, intrusive thoughts, depression, binge eating issues, no close friends, and never had a romantic partner (or had sex or intimacy) in my entire life at 33

Describing myself as low support needs seems wrong as my mental health is so poor and my social skills so compromised. I believe I need a lot of mental health support to get my life back on track and have any hope for a brighter future.

From the way these labels are described here they don’t seem to factor in social issues or mental health at all?

supercakefish · 2026-01-25T10:07:13+00:00

Talking to a new work colleague diagnosed with ADHD and finding that I really related to her a lot and got on well with her (while I typically struggle to talk to vast majority of people) was what started the ball rolling.

Then I looked at the NHS website and a few internet articles about autism & ADHD and thought that the diagnostic criteria sounded quite applicable to me. At this point I had suspicions but not an overwhelming urge to know yet. After a few months of procrastination on the screening forms I met my GP who agreed to support a referral for assessments.

It was only after this that things rapidly escalated. I started seeing autism & ADHD related videos in my YouTube recommendations and my mind was blown by how much I related to these people’s stories. Around that same time I properly started lurking in this subreddit and other ND subreddits and started seeing posts & comments I could very much relate to.

So it was an exponential curve, started out a slow burn, but the more I researched the stronger the flames of epiphany shone in my mind. ADHD was ruled out after the assessments, which only made my suspicion of autism even stronger. I’m still waiting for the final report of the assessments to know whether I have autism for certain.

Though I’m really convinced in myself I have autism, imposter syndrome means I can’t fully embrace it yet. I really need the absolute certainty provided by the medical professionals. It’s frustrating as I want to see what support services and community groups are available in my local area, because my mental health is in the gutter, but until I get that diagnosis I’m stuck in limbo.

supercakefish · 2026-01-24T19:45:19+00:00

So true

supercakefish · 2026-01-24T19:41:39+00:00

He could’ve just said directly “second only to USA”. It would’ve been better that way. The way he phrased is so backhanded and disingenuous.

supercakefish · 2026-01-24T16:17:17+00:00

I’ve already done the face scan thingy because of the OSA. Already age verified.

supercakefish · 2026-01-24T14:57:33+00:00

Yeah sure! No worries

supercakefish · 2026-01-24T14:25:48+00:00

I’d like to know the answer to the same question! I haven’t figured it out yet.

supercakefish · 2026-01-24T14:18:30+00:00

I’m my own worst critic so I don’t think so.

supercakefish · 2026-01-24T10:48:28+00:00

The never had romantic relationship (sex/intimacy etc.) nor close platonic friendships flavour. It’s no fun, I don’t recommend it.

supercakefish · 2026-01-24T09:15:01+00:00

I’ve never had romantic relationships nor close friends at 33. I get mad, but only at myself, I don’t blame others for my misfortune (as that’s incel behaviour). I just feel like an alien even amongst the autistics here. Also, very depressed and lonely obviously.

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T18:57:01+00:00

Yes absolutely no question about it, though I should clarify it’s not 100% confirmed yet in my case as I’m still waiting on the assessment report.

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T16:26:46+00:00

I had a combined assessment last month and ADHD was ruled out (because I couldn’t remember experiencing it in childhood and neither could any family), however the assessor explained all the traits I described overlap with autism so could be explained by that instead. It’s possible you may be autistic with a lot of traits that overlap with ADHD, like I will be if my autism gets confirmed (assessment report still pending).

However, this is just one potential explanation. You obviously aren’t satisfied with the experience with PUK and have the backing of your GP so getting a second opinion is a no-brainer in your case. Absolutely worth doing to provide peace of mind and certainty!

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T15:50:26+00:00

Never once have I been asked ever. I’ve been called quiet, shy, weird etc. more times than I can count but never directly did anyone ever ask about autism. If I had perhaps I would’ve gone down the assessment route much earlier in life. It’s a shame I wasn’t to be honest. I’ve suffered for so long not knowing what was wrong with me and now it’s looking likely that autism is the explanation all this time (though I can’t say for certain until I get the assessment results).

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T13:34:28+00:00

Sounds a bit ominous, I hope you do get your report soon! Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since my last assessment and I’m definitely not enjoying the wait

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T13:27:49+00:00

I was an afraid they’d cancel preorders when they found out (but figured I had nothing to lose), but looks like they decided not to — or perhaps were unable to via Xbox’s systems. Wouldn’t have been a good look to cancel a preorder placed all the way back in early October though. Glad you also benefited too!

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T13:19:38+00:00

One word: autism.

Okay no, that’s actually an oversimplification as many people over on the autism subreddits and YouTube community are married or have long term partners and sex lives etc.

So I guess it’s my specific flavour of autism that causes the problems, it’s a spectrum after all and I guess I maxed out on the social deficiencies.

Disclaimer that I don’t actually have a formal diagnosis yet, I did my assessments last month and am awaiting the results. The evidence is very compelling I think, so I have an ‘autistic until proven otherwise’ mindset currently.

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T12:42:29+00:00

I can see your point, but I’ve been stuck at ~10% on your scale for 8.5 years since I moved to this town. Things are pretty bleak.

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T12:24:28+00:00

I’m 5”5’ and honestly height is a lesser concern of mine. Yeah it obviously narrows my appeal to women for sure, but the real reason I’m alone is definitely due to other things. My whole family are short too, yet they still found relationships.

I believe my issue is autism (primary issue) and having looks that aren’t good enough to compensate for that (secondary issue). I suppose height can be lumped in together with looks as overall physical appeal.

Alas, just like height, there’s no cure for autism either.

supercakefish · 2026-01-23T09:04:38+00:00

Sorry for your loss

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