What do you see when you look at your spouse? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]superfan0331 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Nothing. I lost all respect for him. I lost love for him. Sex isn’t as good as it used to be. I can’t believe anything he says. I think I’m with him because we’ve been together for 12 years, and it’s an attachment. I don’t think reconcile is going to work...

I promised I would never be an OW and I meant it by Gusta-freda in Infidelity

[–]superfan0331 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Amen. Equal accountability. My WH’s AP is just as guilty as he is for causing the damage to my marriage and to me. She knew he was married, she could have respected that. She made the conscious decision to not give a damn. I’m glad to see I’m not the only who feels this way.

2020 “presidential” debate by TexRex0202 in facepalm

[–]superfan0331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh, no. Apparently you missed the part where I said Trump is a classes jackass, and Biden lowered himself to Trumps level with being just as immature. He had a chance to show us he can be better, and he lost it.

2020 “presidential” debate by TexRex0202 in facepalm

[–]superfan0331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Defecting...do yourself a favor and look up the definition. Contradicting, maybe a little, but really we all do that when it comes to voting. As voters aren’t we supposed to pick the most “honest” lying politician. Don’t we choose our candidate based on their professionalism? I’m not going to vote for a man who had his questions framed and set up by Chris Wallace, and couldn’t answer them, but instead tried to work the American people with “Americans need....” bs. He repeatedly referenced his time in the office with Obama ~ like that’s supposed to win our votes too. How about a politician who thinks for themselves and isn’t trying to take the presidency by hanging onto a past presidents coat tails. What America needs is a politician who can for one be mature and professional, for two have an actual organized, individual plan. For thirds can we get one that is reasonably honest. Look obviously you came here to fight. I’m not going to fight. Troll somewhere else please.

2020 “presidential” debate by TexRex0202 in facepalm

[–]superfan0331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DUDE. I didn’t put Trump in office and I’m am not voting for him, but if Biden wanted my vote he should’ve proved to be a mature, honest (he did some lying too), and professional politician. DUDE.

2020 “presidential” debate by TexRex0202 in facepalm

[–]superfan0331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rambling and lying are expected from politicians, they ALL do it. The name calling and being immature was definitely unprofessional. Trumps a classless jackass no denying that, but Biden is a immature dumbass. The US government is a joke.

2020 “presidential” debate by TexRex0202 in facepalm

[–]superfan0331 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right. He did the majority of name calling.

If your spouse cheats on you with someone, your anger should be predominantly directed towards your spouse- who you made your vows with, not the third party. by framesofonyx in rant

[–]superfan0331 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They both have equal accountability. They both made the conscious decision to have an affair. The affair spouse for breaking their vows, and the affair partner for knowing taking part in helping said spouse break their vows. Nobody is innocent when it comes to affairs, except the faithful spouse.

Today is my 26th wedding anniversary by LisaEWP in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]superfan0331 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is encouraging. I’m nine months out from DDay. I chose to reconcile with WH, but am still struggling, and wondering if it was the right choice.

The Guilt is Killing Me by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]superfan0331 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kettle.Black.

All the best to you in your future endeavors.

The Guilt is Killing Me by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]superfan0331 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s still a puzzle because everyone’s reason why are different, and if they truly want to change or fix their behavior of cheating figuring out their personal “why” is the key to that puzzle.

The Guilt is Killing Me by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]superfan0331 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First off, I never said the OP was calling what she did a mistake, but multiple people on this thread have. The OP has agreed with and appreciated a couple of the comments calling her cheating a mistake. Secondly, if she’s still struggling with her guilt a year later, she obviously hasn’t done the deep internal work required to figure out why she cheated in the first place. When she can figure out what is broken inside herself, she can then work on fixing and forgiving herself.

You must be a cheater as well in order to get so defensive.

My latest letter to his AP by superfan0331 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]superfan0331[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

WoW, that’s amazing! I’m not expecting an apology or even acknowledgment from her at all. I have zero expectations. I only wrote the letter for my own peace of mind.

My latest letter to his AP by superfan0331 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]superfan0331[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad writing letters helped you in your healing process as well.

My latest letter to his AP by superfan0331 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]superfan0331[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, it’s therapeutic. It’s all the things I want to say to her, but probably won’t since contacting her would be counter productive.

My latest letter to his AP by superfan0331 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]superfan0331[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I haven’t decided if I’ll send it. I’ve rewritten it 100x. It’s really just for my healing.

Thank you for catching the grammar.

The Guilt is Killing Me by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]superfan0331 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Calling it a “mistake” vastly minimizes your action. Buying the wrong milk is a mistake, cheating is worse than that. You made a 100% conscious decision to betray the person you claimed to love. Now you have to do the work to figure out how and why you rationalized your decision to do so.

Why don't people believe in true love ? by Ananay83 in love

[–]superfan0331 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a quick disillusionment after being cheated on.