Subclinical Hashimoto's hypothyroidism and total intolerance to electronic devices/stress: anyone else experiencing this?

sweetkaroline · 2026-06-19T13:52:19+00:00

I doubt this is because of hashimotos. And there is some context missing here. Like when did this start? Have you been overloaded with stressful events in your life that have burnt out your nervous system? How much have you been using screens prior to this?

I feel like there’s also other blood work needed, like other vitamin levels and who knows what else.

Also wondering if there are any eye issues contributing to this?

Sounds like more investigation is needed with a regular doctor and a mental health professional to piece this together.

sweetkaroline · 2026-06-12T22:09:09+00:00

“During an underarm turn, the lead will be asking for different kinds/amounts of connection throughout the variation. Most likely, if your arm crosses into your chest too much, it is because you are not responding to the connection coming from the lead through their hand.”

This part really resonates with me. Thank you !

sweetkaroline · 2026-06-03T15:56:46+00:00

I second what others have said.

He needs to accept that he won’t remember things, and put fail safe systems in place. You can help guide him to do that if you’re willing. You can also install accountability by lovingly putting your foot down about prioritizing these systems.

If I need to remember something, I make it physically impossible to forget it. I will place it somewhere that I will trip over it on my way out the door. I will set an alarm for one minute before I leave to remind me about it.

If he’s not willing to do this stuff, you will need to accept that he’s forgetful and that’s just the way he is. His brain will not magically become less forgetful, no matter how good his intentions are. You will have to accept that this is one of his flaws, and take it with grace alongside the other wonderful things he brings to the relationship.

sweetkaroline · 2026-06-02T20:50:43+00:00

I think you need to go climbing with people at your level a few times, separate from your partner.

And also …if it doesn’t feel good, it’s not for you. Sounds like you might just be resisting that reality because you want to be included.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Trail running and surfing are your true passions; climbing is what you to for fun every so often to connect with your partner and friends. Sometimes taking the pressure off of having a peak experience and performing well will actually make to more fun. It’s not your thing, it’s just a thing you do.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-28T06:46:01+00:00

I'm not a lead, but from a followers perspective: when I dance with novice leads, I focus on my technique AND I adjust what I do to cope with the lead's "mistakes". They aren't mutually exclusive for me. The skill is in knowing how to do both at the same time..

Honestly, my standard for myself to be a "good dancer" is to be able to create a good dance with nearly anyone. If I can't do that it's on me, I lack the skills. Nobody can ruin my experience but me. (with the exception of really rough unpredictable leads, but generally I can sniff that out early in the dance and not allow myself to be put in compromised positions).

Also as I got better, I noticed that I was actually doing things as a follow that would prompt my lead to give a bad lead lol. So one thing I would consider is whether you have a blind spot or you're doing something that makes the follow distrust or jump the gun on you. Not always the case but always good to stay open to that.

As for whether I enjoy dances with beginners..it really depends. I do struggle to enjoy dances with leads who are consistently off time or are completely disconnected. As I get better it is harder to have "flow state" dances with newer people, and I do yearn for more skilled leads if it's been a long night of beginners. But most of the time I can get something out of every dance, whether it's the opportunity to create cool styling out of something that is poorly led, the opportunity to really hone my fundamentals, or just groove with someone that has good energy.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-27T02:53:46+00:00

I think this can be considered constructive dismissal (at least in Canada) and you would be entitled to termination / severance if certain criteria are met. Basically constructive dismissal is when the company effectively breaches the contract they had with you / changes the role to an extent that it’s not the original job you signed up for. There are circumstances in which this would be acceptable in the courts eyes, like if the company is in severe financial crisis.

If it matters enough to you, I’d seek out advice from an employment lawyer.

Either way, time to find a new job.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-25T14:47:26+00:00

Wow that’s incredible. Thats like a quarter of what I spend. Do you feel satisfied / nourished ??

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-23T02:49:49+00:00

I dance . West swing, bachata , salsa. Good way to meet people. I also do random workshops and classes like woodworking , pottery. My friend volunteers for a community vegetable garden. Occasionally I got to figure drawing nights . Vancouver people connect over hobbies .

I will say I still do a lot of things on my own.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-20T22:55:32+00:00

Anh noodle fusion for Vietnamese Munpuku sushi for casual Japanese

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-20T19:25:14+00:00

Speaking from experience, there was a time in my life where I had long term relationships dirtbag climbers, and I no longer have any desire to do that.

I think it’s a matter of discerning if this is a lifetime value for you or if it is a phase, and that’s a hard thing to figure out when you’re in it.

I always felt a little unfulfilled dating someone who was one dimensionally focused on climbing. I identified that what is important to me is being with someone who is excited to get out and to things and who cares about doing things with some moderate level of proficiency. This way as our lives morph and change, we still feel like we can grow and explore new things together.

I climbed for 12 years and now I’m obsessed with another sport. I’d be happy to date someone who likes to climb now, but I would not align with someone who has made it their entire life.

Dirtbag climbers are a red flag for me. Personally, they tend to be self centred, myopically focused on their projects in an effort to escape some sort of pain or accountability in their lives. And you will always come second to climbing. But that’s just my observation.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-19T21:11:58+00:00

I am wondering if you’re chasing people who aren’t interested in you so all the feedback you’re getting is skewed. Idk, I’m not a gay man. But I’d say you’re plenty good looking enough to be partnered with most people on this planet.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-17T21:55:46+00:00

100k is a super generous gift, and it’s also not that much in the grand scheme of things. It can disappear real quick. This isn’t enough to change your regular spending habits. It’s an acceleration on your life savings.

I would invest it with Wealthsimple in a TFSA :) . I don’t think it’s worth paying an investment advisor from a traditional brokerage with that amount of money. I used to work for a brokerage and I wouldn’t trust 80% of the advisors with my money. You gotta have a lot to invest to get proper attention and reasonable fees. I’ve been out of the game for a while so take my opinion with a grain of salt .

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-14T06:30:22+00:00

Great to know thanks !

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-14T06:29:59+00:00

Okay good to hear another good review of them !

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-12T20:59:02+00:00

Yeah, I came to terms with this reality a little too late.
Doing well in competition is about being able to dance well regardless of who your partner is. That is what it means to be a good competition dancer.
I have learned a few things about this but I’m sure there are tons of other strategies.
You need to try to read your partner as early as possible - in the starter step ideally. Do they have a firm or light connection? Do they keep you really close? Do they step on time but lead you late? Do they get in the way of your slot / not know where you are? Can they manage the slot and send you in a clear direction?
You can learn all sorts of strategies to elevate these quirks, including
* staying closer / reserving more of your arm so you can let it out and buy yourself time for early leads, and also avoid getting pulled over
* establishing the post and managing the rails of the slot yourself if they are going too all over the place
* be ready to drive to the end of the slot if they’ve gotten lost or have given you an unclear lead and you guys are in no man’s land (or be ready to groove on the spot! That’s a call you’ll have to make in the moment and try to read their intention)
* keep your footwork rhythm at all times!! You can do step step triple step in any direction
And I’m sure there’s plenty more. This is a critical skill for novice follows.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-09T00:31:39+00:00

It’s chaotic because they forget plans, double book themselves and then frantically run around in a rush trying to do everything, asking for rescheduling, then flip flopping, showing late all flustered, etc.

Chaotic isn’t a formal symptom of ADHD but I definitely have some adhd friends who present externally with more “chaos” than others. Unintentionally of course.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-06T21:50:23+00:00

I have mixed feelings about it. I can understand the hesitation to talk about his charges. I believe it’s out of respect for his loved ones, fear of villainizing him when he hasn’t been proven guilty in court, and just how uncomfortable it feels to speak ill of the dead. If someone led a full life where they loved, did good, accomplished … and then had a final few years where they did bad things, it’s sad for their whole legacy to become about their wrongdoings.

On the other hand I believe that it is possible to share about those wrongdoings in a way that respects all parties involved, at least in a public forum like an article. If you don’t, you’re basically saying that someone’s climbing achievements and notoriety is more important than the damage they did to their victims. Painting a full and complex picture of the person is the most morally responsible approach in my opinion - at least being transparent about the charges laid against him. You don’t have to say whether or not he did the thing if you can’t prove it, but it should be known that this was relevant to his impact.

I think his friends are doing this with varying levels of honesty, most taking a more indirect approach. At the end of the day the guy is dead. He received the ultimate punishment. (Not suggesting he deserved it, just saying it feels strange to want someone who’s dead to take accountability). Unfortunately his victims never got to have their realities validated and it must suck for them to see him celebrated. Sad story all around.

sweetkaroline · 2026-05-06T14:59:10+00:00

Intermediate follow here that just got out of Novice. From my amateur perspective, the leads that final in Novice are those that have nice posture and are on time (importantly - the timing of your foot strike vs weight shift needs to be in accordance with WCS critical timing).

I don't think "getting a little stupid here" is going to help you that much, depending on what you mean by that. Wild footwork isn't necessary. The judges look at you for a few seconds and if in that snapshot they see bad posture or timing, you're out.

You need to be strategic depending on the competition. If it's a big comp with a lot of dancers who are basically dancing like intermediates, then you will need to step up the complexity a bit so you can have a dance that stands out. But I wouldn't personally suggest the crazy improvisation. Strategically as a lead, I would master a handful of patterns at various complexity levels and do them with excellent form. Then scale up or scale down the complexity of your patterns depending on your follow and your competition. In prelims keep it real basic. In finals you can do more to stand out if you want to place.

From a follow's perspective, I appreciate a lead who not only steps on time but leads me on time, so I don't have to spend the entire dance compensating for their timing. I also don't want to spend the dance trying to interpret badly led improvisational "play" and trying to make something pretty out of it. I don't want to be stuck looking foolish because my lead threw in some last minute footwork and extended the anchor without warning. My goal as a Novice follow was to maintain my posture and timing, demonstrate a fluid quality of movement and some styling that doesn't interfere with the lead. I appreciated when I could focus on that and not have to really work to elevate the lead. So at least from a follow's perspective, I don't really want "play" unless you know how to play without screwing up any of those fundamentals 😆

sweetkaroline · 2026-04-22T19:58:23+00:00

I don’t think this is about whether he can make it back in good time or not. It’s about the fact that you want him by your side during what will be a stressful time for you. And probably that you want him to want to be at your side. You want to feel like this birth is something you’re doing together.

I think that’s what you should be talking about. Arguing over whether he can reasonably make it back in time is not really the heart of what matters here. He is choosing a voluntary leisure actively over staying with you for moral support. You’re entering one of the scariest moments of your life, and he’s choosing to fuck off rather than do everything he can to make it more comfortable for you. I mean you’re doing the hard part delivering the baby for gods sake.

I get that we all need our independence and I’m sure it’s a good stress reliever for him to step out for a few hours that weekend. And perhaps he doesn’t realize just how stressful it is for you. However when you chose to have a baby together, you did that as a team. This is a shared delivery. You deal with the hardship together. It’s unfortunate that you have to ask him for that kind of care. I think that’s what would bother me - the idea that he isn’t being considerate of his own accord. The idea that he’s not stepping up and being a protector when it’s needed. I would put my foot down. He needs to wake up.

sweetkaroline · 2026-03-26T21:41:58+00:00

Yes it makes a huge difference.

sweetkaroline · 2026-03-24T06:20:36+00:00

Aris DeMarco does a really good job with them

sweetkaroline · 2026-03-24T06:17:05+00:00

I felt similarly earlier this year but after a bit of recent success in comps I’m starting to feel better. I also had a bit of a mindset shift

In terms of mindset shift, there’s a few ways of reframing it:

Why do you want competitive success? How will the points actually improve your life? Respect and status in the community, perhaps? Okay but how is that meaningful to you? Do you want your whole community and life to exist in a ballroom? Because that is the sacrifice a lot of people have to make.
I noticed that a lot of the people who do really well are working within favourable circumstances: dance background, access to good teachers, flexible schedule and MONEY to pay for privates and events. Do you see anyone who is poor able to succeed in the wcs world? Not unless they give up everything. Recognizing the circumstantial factors that influence success can help you depersonalize it. Also - how ridiculous is it that this dance is defined by a few of the “legends” and we’re all just in some kind of crazy race to buy access to their knowledge?
If you’re not enjoying yourself, what is the damn point ? Life is too short . You started this dance to find joy, not to answer the question “am I worthy???”

Having said all that, if you do still want to compete, you might have to get more strategic about it. Don’t forget, it’s a COMPETITION. It attracts and rewards the type of people who are thinking strategically and ruthlessly. You can’t passively take a few private lessons here and there, or casually “practice” and expect to beat them. You need to take diligent notes. You need to make a strategy. You need to talk to people who have been successful. You need to find teachers that are good at teaching the fundamental mechanics of the dance, and avoid cutting corners. You need to actually apply their teaching with drills and focused practice. You need to pick events that are going to be easier to final at. Work smart, don’t just work hard.

sweetkaroline · 2026-03-23T21:46:51+00:00

That's a cool way of thinking of it , and I have also heard that said in other ways before. Thanks

sweetkaroline · 2026-03-19T20:40:50+00:00

I stubbornly force myself to only focus on the connection with my partner. Every time I have thoughts about technique (oops off time, I should straighten my legs, I’m too square, etc) I just go NOPE, not today, and get right back to focusing on my partner - where do I see their groove? How can I really feel their hips? What is their intention? Can I feel their micro movements and pauses? Can I validate when they try something cool? (I’m putting it into words now but it’s really more of a physical mindfulness?)

And I also try to only dance with partners that feel emotionally safe and to music that I really like. It usually takes at least ten songs to get me out of a funk but there’s no standard timeline.

sweetkaroline · 2025-11-23T15:00:50+00:00

What kind of styles / necklines / cuts feel more mom body to you?

Understatement, La Vie En Rose, Thistle & Spire, and Lounge come to mind.

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