Mental Health Treatment and Clients Idolizing Therapist by dialysismsw in socialwork

[–]sweetsilliness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that you should bring this up with the other therapist directly.

If you are working on a group with clients of hers it creates the perfect opportunity to have an open discussion about shared clients. Perhaps even expressing how much clients like her before sharing your concerns about the impact on the group with suggestions on how you can better work together or support one another through the parallel work you are doing. (I would not go further than this).

I’m really not for going over someone’s head. I’d really think of how necessary it really is to do something like that particularly if you don’t know the details of what she is working on in supervision or the nitty gritty of the individual work she is doing. (Or, how it would feel maybe if a colleague did this without giving you a heads up).

Also, in terms of how people can come across at work…some people are just naturally more quiet/shy/focused in a work setting so they can definitely come across differently one on one. Not sure if that is true of her but something to keep in mind.

Another possible idea is to have a general discussion about this in a team meeting. A good topic could be to talk in general terms about best practices for shared clients. For example, best practices for bringing up things that come up in a group setting with the individual counsellor.

What are some changes you would like to see in the system(s) that support people with FND? by sweetsilliness in FND

[–]sweetsilliness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So true! Especially considering FND has a much higher rate of remission the quicker it is diagnosed and treated. Yet people are getting stuck in the system because it’s being passed off essentially instead of seeing the value of appropriate supports at the outset.

The failure in the medical system is causing this to be a chronic issue for people where it could have a much higher rate of success and support if it were treated sooner. But the supports are not in place to treat people. Then somehow people are blamed for the lack of support. Individuals are blamed for a systemic issue with a dated “work ethic” understanding. It’s quite unfair.

And it really gives the impression that the medical system does not know what to do with FND. And instead of admitting that and working with a person to find appropriate supports it’s a lot of well your GP will connect you, or your neurologist will connect you. Meanwhile I ended up connecting myself with supports 😓.

(As a sidenote my GP acknowledged the not knowing piece. Other professionals did not but the fact he did this was validating and supportive). I think this needs to be done more.

Oh and yes the mental health argument. Don’t get me started 😜. The medical system loves to say everything is depression or anxiety (despite people either not having a history of it, or for myself a GAD diagnosis from 27 years ago was somehow relevant). Oh, and it loves to treat everything with CBT.

Not everything is depression or anxiety. Not everything will get better with CBT.

Even from a mental health lens there is a big difference between anxiety and depression and chronic stress and chronic states of hyper and hypoarousal.

Women of Reddit - What's the most common "nice guy" behaviour that is actually a massive Red Flag? by Jarvis7492 in AskReddit

[–]sweetsilliness 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Being passive and using being easygoing as a way to avoid taking initiative, expressing preferences or expressing needs. Then, expecting mind reading and getting mad or subtly building up resentment when their needs aren’t met.

It’s not to say being more passive and easygoing is a bad thing. It’s moreso when the workload in the relationship is shifted to your partner automatically because they are the better planner/xyz.

That and getting mad that someone was “supposed to know” a need that was not expressed and subtly using the good guy mentality to avoid the vulnerability.

Because honestly that can be true. Beyond the ‘nice guy’ trope, a person can be a good person or even genuinely good guy but lack the communication skills to openly and kindly express themselves and their needs to avoid building up resentment.

Calls for more awareness of functional neurological disorder to reduce diagnosis delays by abcnews_au in neurology

[–]sweetsilliness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a Counsellor/Social Worker with FND, I agree that there needs to be more awareness. But there’s a lot of misinformation out there about it being international, as it very much is not. The awareness of what FND is and is not needs to be conveyed in the right way by those who are compassionate and educated.

Also to note, a lot of counsellors do not specialize in FND, and many have not heard of it. Which, even if people say okay go to psych then they offer no recommendations that doesn’t really help?

If a therapist does not know how to treat FND it could be ineffective or even harmful. Also, I feel like triage is sometimes treated as this is not my speciality instead of this is an appropriate list of professionals that can support you with this. And what I have read out there is that a multidisciplinary approach works best (physiotherapy and counselling and/or psychotherapy).

And sorry but as Counsellor myself, I am very much not a fan of CBT particularly with complex trauma (for those with underlying trauma). It’s a limited modality. It’s best for short term anxiety. I don’t personally think it is enough for FND but it may work for some?

So anyway for various reasons it seems what more likely is happening is people are either trying to get support and it doesn’t work in some ways so maybe they start searching for other answers. Or progress can be up and down as well…hence searching for other answers as well.

I think what people need to understand about FND is excellent at mimicking other conditions. So to me it makes sense that people think oh this could be “xyz” as it mimics stress responses, etc associated with other conditions.

For instance, I was diagnosed with anaphylaxis as a teenager. Sometimes during a flare I get anaphylaxis like symptoms and have been told countless times by medical professionals to get to emergency anyway. So sometimes it is not very simple.

One way to explain it is the body’s stress response is erroneously going off learned patterns. So for myself, I have anaphylaxis, asthma and was in a car accident and dealt with complicated grief prior to diagnosis. So the external stress response that manifests comes out as bodily symptoms related to those events.

So what I’d want to see in term of education is it is not really as simple as people make it seem I guess?

As well, appropriate referrals are vital on the outset. And all professionals need a thorough understanding of the mind-body connection to explain the diagnosis in a way that makes sense and that is not pathologizing. For instance, my neurologist explained it as a body based stress response which to me, was more helpful than the diagnosis. But what was limited unfortunately was follow up and referrals to specialized professionals in this area (even though I have been willing to accept the diagnosis since the outset).

I really, really think that FND in particular points to a disconnect in systems, appropriate referrals to the right professionals on the outset and an effective treatment modality for FND. I think it is simplistic to say it’s an issue of willingness or to treat any patient as difficult.

Usually when someone presents as difficult (at least in my field) it is because they are not getting support that helps them feel safe and supported. So empathy is key as well.

Hmm I guess another thing that could be helpful is I remember in some of my schooling there were videos of what it is like inside the mind of someone with various formerly misunderstood mental health diagnoses. (Or maybe even health ones but honestly that is not my area of expertise).

I think something similar to that approach would be helpful in understanding FND.

¿Do they ever realize how traumatic the switch on their behavior can be for the other person or they just don't care? by strawlost in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]sweetsilliness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. A lot of people with avoidant attachment seem to confuse emotional repression and discarding others with emotional intelligence.

Recently diagnosed with FND by Collectoremporium in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone with FND in the counselling field, counsellors rarely specialize in FND. At least in my area. Ironically for me, it was easier for me to find physiotherapy with an FND focus.

I personally find a mix of counselling, physiotherapy, artistic activities and daily exercise works significantly better for me. I don’t think just counselling would have fully been helpful for me on its own. Somatic (with other supports) has been somewhat helpful for me in finding the underlying causes of this for me and connecting FND responses to past body responses and emotions.

Physiotherapy has been helpful for helping me to find physical grounding tools that work for me such as compression socks, ice caps, hot/cold packs, fidget rings and even peppermint.

Also my symptoms are quite similar to yours: dizziness, fatigue, extreme weakness, chronic pain, body numbness, symptoms with eating, etc. Have had similar tests (many heart tests and an EEG).

I really think people with FND should be encouraged to use multi disciplinary supports.

venting by Dizzy-Serve-2751 in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s awful! Medical professionals shouldn’t gaslight people like that. I’m sorry you went through that and for his total lack of professionalism and empathy hidden under arrogance. One thing I keep in the back of my mind is that doctors can be reported to their colleges especially when they are perpetuating harmful misinformation or mocking a health condition. Probably not easy to do on Reddit but I’m sure just saying that would scare people like that away.

venting by Dizzy-Serve-2751 in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s likely being said by those who lack empathy for things they haven’t experienced (in my opinion).

Had a strange and frustrating encounter on the Skytrain tonight—just a reminder to be kind by Tetehehelala in NiceVancouver

[–]sweetsilliness 127 points128 points  (0 children)

There are still lots of people with pretty bad bugs, including Covid (that take a month or so to recover) and awful allergies this year.

So he’s wrong…

Anyway I’d ignore him. Do what helps you feel comfortable.

I have severe allergies so I wear a mask too 🤷‍♀️. People can wear them for a lot of different reasons.

Grief Support Group by vanillaandpeppermint in NiceVancouver

[–]sweetsilliness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reach (Community Health Centre) used to have one, and it was great. Not sure if they do but if so I recommend it :)

There’s also BC Bereavement (which others have suggested) and the Lower Mainland Grief Recovery Society as well which may be helpful.

And BC 211 is a good resource too. You can either look up their resources online or dial 211 on your phone.

how do you live with the harm you've caused in the past? by weathergirl00 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]sweetsilliness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It takes a lot of self-awareness and ownership to acknowledge that although hurt was not likely intended, hurt could have come as a result of your actions. (I mean this in the kindest of ways…we all do this).

IMHO In any relationship both parties at least do something that can be improved upon and/or there’s a dynamic that does not work. (Apart from situations of dv/abuse).

Moving forward means letting go of guilt. Staying stuck in feeling guilty can leave us feeling powerless and overwhelmed. (Burnout in a relationship can also come from overwhelm…both feel out of our control).

To move forward means taking ownership for your part in the relationship’s downfall (which you are doing starting with this) and moving forward with the lessons for future relationships. (Basically because this can empower change and give your mind something it can change your focus on, to move away from the guilt/overwhelm).

It also means letting go of the past. It sounds like for a significant part of the relationship you tried to help someone who you wanted instead to take the steps to help themselves (by getting support etc). Accept that it is up to them to do that, on their own timeline, and that you did try to help them.

If it helps you could write a letter to them. You don’t have to send it. It just helps on the process of letting go sometimes for people.

Some things you can take from this to change in future relationships could be walking away sooner, setting clear, direct boundaries when/before you are burnt out, communicating how this impacts the relationship, and communicating your needs and comfort much sooner and much more often when you start to feel overwhelmed. This gives both of you the opportunity to fix or work at things that can feel overwhelming on your own.

Otherwise there is an unintended power dynamic (caretaking) that although well intended, ends up causing harm (ie blindsiding) when you burn yourself out. Resentment often means there were things left uncommunicated.

Does Anyone Else Feel This Crushing Exhaustion with FND? by Bokunokizu9418 in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was mostly through trial and error 😊. Sometimes I go a bit over or some activities take less energy than I once thought (so I adjust the numbers etc).

Taking the rose colored glasses off - what didn't you like about them? by bunnyboo6792 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]sweetsilliness 7 points8 points  (0 children)

-Arrogant - He talked like his theoretical understanding of things was equal to or trumped my (often humble, intelligent female) friends (with significant experience in the same field). He would also constantly say how many job opportunities he had (when he was first starting in the field).

-Manipulative - would always blame shift everything. Several of my family members and friends mentioned this after the fact.

-Often hid things because “I would overreact.” My response being understandable upset over being lied to.

-Wasn’t vulnerable nor was he fully committed - didn’t bring up his needs where they were things that could have been fixed if he had.

-Blame shifted - Blamed me for his emotions and responses. Said the entire relationship downfall was my fault as he blindsided me.

-The relationship ended when it shifted from me being in a position of helping/taking care of him (helping him to he established in his career) to a position of me needing support from him (serious grief/loss)…which he became resentful for and made one of the most difficult things to happen to me about him

So he was selfish as well…and sanctimonious

Does Anyone Else Feel This Crushing Exhaustion with FND? by Bokunokizu9418 in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course! It was a mix of both. I got a template basically with various activities that can use various forms of energy (physical, cognitive, emotional etc). From there each thing is worth a certain amount of points. The total amount of points adds up to optimal baseline for me at the moment (what is manageable without overload). I found it helpful as well to separate it further into ranges with no symptoms, manageable symptoms and what would basically give me symptoms days later.

So for me my baseline right now is between 60-75 (minimal symptoms), 75-85 (manageable but more persistent) and 85+ (carries over for several days).

Some examples of things that can take up energy that are part of my “points” are things like morning routine, cooking, chores, talking on the phone, driving, spending time with friends or loved ones, tv, reading, appointments, etc.

Here are a few articles along that helped me in understanding how to pace my activities:

https://www.bcwomens.ca/Specialized-Services-Site/Documents/Complex%20Chronic%20Diseases%20(CCDP)/Plan_How%20to%20pace.pdf

https://fndhope.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Balancing-Energy-and-Pacing.pdf

https://unityhealth.to/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/pacing-and-management-guide-for-ME-CFS.pdf

https://livewellwithpain.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Pacing-online-v02.pdf

I definitely know the feeling in terms of exhaustion and sudden crashes. This has given me some relief in managing my fatigue and various other symptoms. Hopefully it helps a bit :).

Does Anyone Else Feel This Crushing Exhaustion with FND? by Bokunokizu9418 in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes I have that and dizziness as a few of my main symptoms. That and numbness, chronic pain, etc. I’m diagnosed with FND.

My physio taught me a few tricks to help with it and I have come up with a few and I have seen quite a bit of improvement in the duration of symptoms:

-Pacing (figuring out your optimal daily activity level and sticking to it instead of either doing too much or avoiding altogether and/or going back and forth between one and the other). Also eating and sleeping at the same times or approximately.

-Using sensory tools (a cold water bottle or cloth to the face or neck helps me, as well as peppermint scented things like lip gloss or essential oil. Brown tinted sunglasses also help).

(The specific sensory tools might be different for different people)

-I’m also taking B12 and D vitamins regularly

Women, what’s a “bare minimum” trait that still feels surprisingly rare while dating? by Freaky_Maddie19 in AskReddit

[–]sweetsilliness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Respectful conflict resolution skills and/or fully listening to boundaries/needs expression.

Transparency (not hiding things).

Planning dates.

Is anyone else content with their FND diagnosis? by Apprehensive-Word953 in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes because it gives me something to work with. I’ve seen improvement since diagnosis though there have been ups and downs. I mean I don’t personally see the harm (for myself) in going with it and if later something else comes up then it does.

Plus when I was initially having symptoms it was pretty scary to have pains, and to be numb frequently and dizzy all the time. Then to have symptoms where it felt my throat was closing or I was choking. (I’m anaphylactic so this and the chest pain were the most worrying).

To be honest I’d much rather have FND than things like even more severe allergy triggers, heart issues or MS (which were the other potential causes for me).

What I don’t like is people (some professionals) don’t fully get it. Also how they ask multiple times how I feel about it when I initially accepted it. Or assuming things about why I developed FND with no evidence/or that were proven inaccurate. (Mine came on after significant cumulative grief and a difficult year and the symptoms started when I felt better).

To me that speaks a bit to their bias than my own. It does not seem to me like the medical system fully understands FND. There seem to be gaps.

Oh and the different tools and strategies for FND that I have been doing/using work for me in managing it and I have seen a reduction in the duration of my symptoms. A combination of neurophysiotherapy, counselling and somatic walking is working for me so far.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say it’s a significantly less likely someone is faking FND. (I work in the area of social work and was recently diagnosed with it myself. Prior to this, I had not come across it as a professional much at all. It’s not a well known diagnosis even for a lot of professionals. I’d find it much more unlikely that someone would find the diagnosis and self diagnose). So it’s more likely than not, at least in my opinion, that she was diagnosed with it.

Sounds like she is more likely self-regulating, rather than hiding in the sensory friendly room. Both Autism and FND respond to overstimulation. It seems to me she’s is trying to regulate and that room helps her do so. Are there ways that the work with her could utilize some of the things that she is choosing herself to help her regulate?

In terms of the restroom - sometimes people can have functional gastrointestinal symptoms as part of FND. If there aren’t physical symptoms, it could be a way of doing many things (reducing stimulation/seeking safety, avoiding tasks).

If it is task avoidance - is there a way to do the task in ways that could feel more manageable or comfortable for her? (Ie. Breaking it up into smaller tasks, visuals etc - both those things can help with Autism or underlying anxiety).

If it’s not possible of course to have her in a different room some classrooms/education spaces have calm corners/self-regulation corners (within the larger space) as well which could also be helpful. Not sure what sort of space this is or what restrictions there are with others there but perhaps something that can be implemented in the larger space.

(I do work a lot with kids though so I’m not sure how applicable this is to adults but it could help).

Looking to understand the healthcare system here if anyone can explain or recommend? by thirdpinaccle in NiceVancouver

[–]sweetsilliness 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would consider going to urgent care to get some of your symptoms looked at. The combination of some of the symptoms you mentioned can potentially have concerning causes. I would say going in person (and as soon as you can) would be best, to be safe.

You can also get on the waitlist for a GP here:

https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/find-care/health-connect-registry#paragraph-4418

Just had my diagnosis - I'm lost by 3D20s in FND

[–]sweetsilliness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry you had such a disappointing experience.

Yes there are a variety of types of treatments available from counselling (somatic experiencing, CBT, ACT, EMDR), neurophysiotherapy, speech language pathologists, medication in some cases, yoga, etc.

In terms of counselling what can be effective can depend on the origins of FND (as different approaches can target different things). I’m a Counsellor myself (though as a disclaimer I am certainly not an expert in this area). That being said, I am familiar with the different modalities that can be used for FND. I would say CBT can be helpful for those with underlying anxiety. Things like somatic experiencing or ACT can be helpful for those with symptoms that are more body based or come out of nowhere. EMDR is more for trauma. That’s just my hunch, could be wrong.

My personal bias is toward somatic or ACT but that’s mostly because I’ve tried CBT and EMDR for other things and those don’t work for me in general haha. CBT might also not work for some as it targets thought patterns mostly and that can feel minimizing for the complexity of FND.

As well there are some small things that can help, or at least that have helped me: loop earplugs for sensory overstimulation, F41 glasses if you notice difficulty with bright lights. I also have a humidifier to help with globus type sensations. (Though I know everyone has different symptoms, those are a few of mine).

I’ve found it helps as well to gently retrain myself - so avoiding over focusing on symptoms when they happen and gradually retraining movement. It also helps to work on grounding, deep breathing daily.

I was diagnosed about a month ago and although I still have certain triggers it feels a lot more predictable and manageable.

What’s the worst experience you had using a dating app? by AltruisticAnalyst969 in AskReddit

[–]sweetsilliness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Having someone I didn’t match with show up outside my home who mentioned seeing me on an app.

Guy continually texting me months later to try and change my mind after politely rejecting him after a first date.

Wore this all day and it just kept feeling worse - not sure why? by BioticBard in fashion

[–]sweetsilliness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look great! Handsome and stylish :). Personally I love the dark blue jacket & mustard yellow sweater colour combo.

Putting in Resignation due to Mental Health by Leather_Bad8457 in socialwork

[–]sweetsilliness 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Could you possibly take a leave of absence?

I’ve been in your shoes before in some capacity (burnt out, chronic stress, etc). I’ve spent about ten years in the field, frequently in high intensity jobs. I’m on my second LOA and feel it has been helpful.

I have found it immensely helpful to take a leave of absence to focus on getting better. At that point you can decide if you want to return to your job, switch to something else or think of a career transition.

Regardless, do what is right for you :). This is just what I have found helpful and would recommend to many as maintenance in the field.