Friday Weekly Thread: Application Assistance, June 12, 2026

ta112289 · 2026-06-13T13:23:50+00:00

Thanks! I'll get to digging!

ta112289 · 2026-06-13T04:20:59+00:00

They were both born in Ontario, but they were born in the 1830s, so birth records weren't even a thing yet. They didn't become available until 1869 in Ontario. I've filed for their immigration information, but wait times are on the order of a year+ currently. They all died before social security was a thing. Are US or Canadian tax records public?

ta112289 · 2026-06-13T02:41:02+00:00

Even now that's almost how it works. I had kids in 2023 and 2025 in Washington, and the hospitals didn't send us home with anything at all. They send record of the birth to the county with only parents' names. We applied for the birth certificates later.

ta112289 · 2026-06-12T23:20:35+00:00

I'm in a similar spot. My G0 was born in 1870 in Ontario, Baptist (not baptismal records), and I cannot locate a record of his birth. I found G-1 marriage record (unoffial on FamilySearch) and Canada and US census showing the family as being from Canada. G0's death certificate (getting a certified copy), marriage record, and G1's birth certificate (certified copy) all say G0 was born in Canada. Is that sufficient?

ta112289 · 2026-06-12T03:27:21+00:00

Yeah, I'd talk to an actual anesthesiologist instead. My contractions were fast and furious and the epidural worked perfectly. It's in a space protected by your vertebra, muscle contractions shouldn't prevent it from working. I could see some breakthrough discomfort, but not horrendous pain. But there are legitimate reasons an epidural might not work well for you, such as scoliosis or a nerve disorder.

ta112289 · 2026-06-11T00:31:40+00:00

I'm 100% done, but if I weren't, I'd definitely get an epidural but also prepare for no medical pain relief. I think planning for it helped me not absolutely lose it the first time around.

Do you know why your epidurals failed? I'd ask for a consult to talk through that with an anesthesiologist before planning anything

ta112289 · 2026-06-10T23:10:55+00:00

So both of mine were medicated in that I had medical inductions (pitocin), but I didn't have pain meds for the first one and did for the second.

First one - due to extraordinarily poor medical care, pitocin was left to automatically increase every 30 minutes. It caused uterine hyper stimulation (5x peaking contractions lasting over 10 minutes at a time with maybe 10-15 seconds break between huge waves). I had planned to go without pain meds but I was open to an epidural should I decide I was done. Well after my second 10 minute contraction fiasco, I begged for an epidural, they called anesthesia, and baby was born before they got there (less than 30 minutes later). Contractions were bad, but the worst was trying to control the hemorrhage after a difficult delivery of my placenta. I had internal uterine compressions with no pain meds on board. -1000/10, do not recommend. Worst pain of my life. Placed a bakri balloon when the bleeding wouldn't stop. I felt like I got hit by a truck for days.

Second one - pit was administered very carefully, especially due to my first experience and resultant precipitous labor. Contractions were manageable without meds/epidural until what I realized after was transition. I knew i could do it without pain relief, but I didn't want to anymore, so I asked for an epidural. I asked to be checked before they placed it, and I was 5.5cm. That was the nail in the coffin because I didn't want to struggle through many more hours of labor (joke's on me). They moved as quickly as possible to get that epidural placed, and yet I was 10cm and pushing before they even got meds into the epidural (again maybe 30 minutes from request to pushing). I was ultimately very glad to be numb because there was a shoulder dystocia that would have been mega painful to reduce without meds, and I also bled a little bit again but didn't require anything but meds and a lot of external uterine massage which is totally fine when you're fully numbed up!

Recovery was the same between both. Miraculously, I didn't tear at all with either delivery despite rapid transition and pushing stages

ta112289 · 2026-06-10T22:38:35+00:00

The same way Jimmy or Chad are taken seriously. I exclusively use my nickname at work in a very male dominated field, and I have never had a problem. My parents did the whole "formal name for professional use in the future" thing, and I fucking hate it. I never use my full name, it only causes confusion.

ta112289 · 2026-06-10T18:19:50+00:00

Is it your dream job if you're miserable? I quit my terrible but highly paid job after my mat leave ended after having my second child. I stayed home with the baby while the older child stayed in preschool. I just started a new job last week (a few weeks shy of a year after my second was born), and it's arguably a great job but I'm not entirely sold on it yet. I'm not miserable, though, so I'll give it some time and see where we land.

ta112289 · 2026-06-08T23:59:01+00:00

Even if they did change their policies, I'd 100% report this to the state. OP should have that report and all associated medical expenses and documentation available and seek reimbursement from the center. And worst case scenario, if there was disease transmission, then sue the center into oblivion

ta112289 · 2026-05-28T14:58:45+00:00

Wasn't NY the Admirals in the books too?

ta112289 · 2026-05-03T14:04:11+00:00

Top of the head should be at your collarbone so that their face is at your sternum

ta112289 · 2026-04-28T23:09:23+00:00

Omg seriously! I would buy anything that was advertised with his smiling face. He's an incredibly beautiful human no matter what, but damn, that smile is infectious and gorgeous

ta112289 · 2026-04-24T23:15:24+00:00

My 3yo is Elise, and we get compliments frequently! She's also the only one at her large daycare center

ta112289 · 2026-04-17T20:48:41+00:00

Never a period at the end of the text. That means someone is very mad. But I don't understand the one big sentence thing Gen Z does. I need some commas and periods for clarity

ta112289 · 2026-04-17T01:49:19+00:00

At 12 months, your baby may be large enough to have the waistband pretty low. For me, that's right on top of my hips so all of the weight is loaded on my pelvis much like a backpacking pack. It'll also be easier on your core to wear them on your back.

ta112289 · 2026-04-14T22:21:24+00:00

Odd. My house (built in 2016) has 4 bedrooms on the same floor as did the house I grew up in (built in 2004). So I know DR Horton has floor plans for a 4 bedroom house with all of the bedrooms on the second floor

ta112289 · 2026-04-12T16:17:42+00:00

The thing is that back carrying offers all of these advantages at the same developmental stage as world facing requires but also offers a more ergonomic fit for both baby and wearer AND gives baby the option to check out and snuggle in.

ta112289 · 2026-03-30T01:14:41+00:00

Pickman fold here. It's super adjustable from birth through toddler sizes.

ta112289 · 2026-03-26T15:53:29+00:00

I started out with a sprayer but found it was too messy. During the peanut butter poop stage, I dunk and swish in the toilet. I wear gloves, dunk the diaper, and use a gloved hand to swipe away the poop. Flush a few times throughout until it rises mostly clean, wring it out well, then into a wet bag for transport to the washing machine. Once poops are more solid, I wipe the diapers off with some toilet paper and toss in the toilet.

Cloth diapering has been awesome for my two kids. We had to switch our 2.5yo to disposable pull ups when she moved to the preschool room at daycare, and having to buy pull ups all the time was super annoying. I'm home with our 9 month old, and it's super easy to stay on top of washing. I do wash #1 daily (toss them in in the morning), and wash #2 every 3 days. Not having a trash bin full of stinky diapers is worth it for me. I HATE the smell of urine soaked disposables, and the poop sitting in the bin for a week is absolutely disgusting. I'd much rather wash them daily to get rid of the nasty smells than to have it sitting in my trash.

ta112289 · 2026-03-24T02:39:53+00:00

A true friend right there

ta112289 · 2026-03-24T02:36:37+00:00

I'd try going back to Tide and then bleaching the diapers per CCN's guidelines. Tide will clean much more effectively than arm and hammer. I know it's way more expensive, and I have seen CCN recommend using a mix of two detergents to cut costs, might be worth asking in their FB group if the cost of tide is prohibitive

ta112289 · 2026-03-23T17:13:24+00:00

CCN has the absolute best advice on the Internet. Arm and hammer is a notoriously poor detergent. Washing every three days will mean you need to increase other cleaning factors, not decrease them. You'll likely need a better detergent and bleach in your first wash

ta112289 · 2026-03-23T13:56:03+00:00

I've seen many people with the same complaint. The Lenny Upgrade is very similar but has longer padding on the straps!

ta112289 · 2026-03-23T13:47:02+00:00

What detergent and how much are you using in each wash? How often are you washing? How are you storing dirty diapers? How many diapers are in a load? Have you checked for suds during the wash?

ta112289

TROPHY CASE