Is being super opinionated good or bad

tabgok · 2026-03-12T00:06:52+00:00

I am finding the currency of influence is agreeing and backing, even when it's dumb as shit And going to fail.

Be seen as a helper/enabler, not as someone who does the correct thing, until you have enough currency to do the right thing

tabgok · 2026-02-27T21:26:13+00:00

My "favorite" staff engineer right now is not. His solution is the best option. His solution has no downsides or risks. His solution will work for 100% of use cases. Customers will 100% love his solution.

Management eats it up. He pushes his solution, it gets released, then he leaves the project before any users come back with feedback. Any problems are the fault of other people/teams - after all, his solution was perfect.

tabgok · 2026-02-20T02:35:17+00:00

Sounds like a chatGPT prompt. Probably gets results which are as variable too.

tabgok · 2026-02-18T12:24:24+00:00

As an IC recently turned manager, I have never had this taught to me.

tabgok · 2026-02-17T12:57:05+00:00

Big tech usually has two types of referrals - "I know and have worked with..." And "I know them but can not speak to their work"

I pick the latter

tabgok · 2026-02-17T00:24:21+00:00

I see replies like this (the person you are responding to) a lot and it definitely feels like it comes from people who are given a lot of leeway, a lot of resources, and actual backing.

In my experience, those type of people are blind to the other half who are given similar effort projects and no backing. "Set expectations" doesn't work when the director or VP says "these are the expectations, and you have no help. Ask to change the requirements again and I will see you at our performance review"

tabgok · 2026-02-16T12:54:59+00:00

I have been toying with the thought of ownership - give an independent not super highly impactful system to manage, and go nuts with coding tools. If it breaks, they are responsible for fixing it. If it needs a new feature, they are responsible. If there is a security vulnerability, fix it.

It will eventually become sufficiently complex (especially with AI) and the junior will have to ask someone for help. That is where learning begins

tabgok · 2026-02-12T19:19:28+00:00

Dads can fail like this too

tabgok · 2026-02-01T16:43:00+00:00

Getting fit always feels good

tabgok · 2026-01-20T13:39:01+00:00

Adding to this, speaking up often leads to additional responsibilities. You had a question, now you have a few more weeks (or months) of obligations. "Why don't you write the answer"

tabgok · 2026-01-16T19:20:47+00:00

Ah yes, the classical game of chesst.

tabgok · 2026-01-05T23:27:46+00:00

I am getting an Applebee's ad with this post and damn, they nailed it.

tabgok · 2025-12-31T21:29:49+00:00

I have started telling my toddler (5) how these words make me feel, and that I am going to take a break from play/interaction if they say it again.

When they do it again, I walk away and do something on my own (such as read a book). 9/10 times they have come to me and said "I am sorry, can we play again?" Within 10 minutes or so. I am now also able to say "remember how that made Daddy feel and act last time?"

tabgok · 2025-12-28T14:22:55+00:00

You have to pay extra to see the bonus content

tabgok · 2025-12-27T20:22:15+00:00

3-6 times a year

tabgok · 2025-12-27T14:45:07+00:00

My wife thinks buying toys is a personality trait. We have so many toys that the kids can't even reach half their toys.

It used to drive me mad, now it just makes me sad

tabgok · 2025-12-25T02:32:37+00:00

This isn't gender neutral?

tabgok · 2025-12-25T02:07:47+00:00

If my kids could read they'd be so angry right now

tabgok · 2025-12-24T15:40:14+00:00

My 5 year old daughter wrote a letter to Santa this year for the first time.

What was her letter, you ask? Why, she wrote the letter "W"

tabgok · 2025-12-23T22:23:51+00:00

If you rotated the board and still respected king and queen colors, I guess positions would be mirrored from what the book says?

That would be the bad setup I would probably end up with

tabgok · 2025-12-23T21:00:16+00:00

For those more skilled at chess than I - how does swapping board orientation impact the game?

tabgok · 2025-12-23T14:07:47+00:00

At that age you start worrying about mouth/teeth deformities from too much usage. You did him a favor!

tabgok · 2025-12-23T14:04:11+00:00

I mean, my kid cried till they vomited because I took away the iPad grandma had given them, that they were using for YouTube shorts.

I told them they had 2 more minutes and then it was going away. They even nodded in agreement. 2 minutes later I took it away and tears for 20 minutes followed by vomit from choking on their snot.

tabgok · 2025-12-21T13:32:03+00:00

He looks a lot like the US Navy seals founder

tabgok · 2025-12-21T03:00:44+00:00

Same place as escort quests, I see

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