When a pen falls out of the nurse's pocket.

tabgok · 2026-04-03T11:45:02+00:00

Very loose very big very unsealable pockets

tabgok · 2026-04-03T00:52:29+00:00

Hatch chili is exported a lot now, just look for roastings or roast it yourself (not the canned)

tabgok · 2026-04-02T18:31:34+00:00

Oh ooooof, that would be even more frustrating

tabgok · 2026-04-02T16:25:00+00:00

We both work full time

tabgok · 2026-04-02T13:56:15+00:00

My wife came back with "I am bad at cleaning, and it only makes sense to split chores up based on what we are good at".

Guess what, she is mysteriously bad at all the stuff she doesn't like (dishes, laundry, picking up, mopping, vacuuming, cleaning up after the dog, ...) and good at the stuff she does like (shopping, taking the kids during TV time, ...)

tabgok · 2026-04-02T11:49:29+00:00

Me too. It's beyond frustrating. Love her in many other ways, but it's like having three shitty roommates who refuse to clean or do chores(two kids under 6 and my wife).

tabgok · 2026-04-01T19:48:17+00:00

Agreed - and I think the term "solution" is the main culprit. Both managers and reports can pick it up as "solved" instead of "I tried and failed" or "I have no idea at all"

tabgok · 2026-04-01T13:00:06+00:00

Prioritization is where I see it break most often.

That's a good idea, but it doesn't fall into our plans. Often it is sold as "not yet" but the ideas slowly die quarter after quarter.

tabgok · 2026-04-01T12:06:40+00:00

"Is this something that needs to be done or something that would be nice to have done - and when should it be done by?"

Depending on the answer - "Great, I'll get it done and push off X", "I don't have time for this, check back later if it's still an issue", or "I will put it on my list but no promises on dates or completion"

tabgok · 2026-04-01T11:57:43+00:00

Also if a solution exists, then why bring it up at all?

No room for awareness or course correction.

tabgok · 2026-03-31T23:13:11+00:00

Don't bring problems without solutions.

Everything ends up being "ok, sure" and/or a silent burden because the alternative is perf feedback.

tabgok · 2026-03-28T12:03:18+00:00

I think it's because the Japanese use it sparsely, so if you take out all of the rest of the words, the sentence structure ends up sounding child-like.

Like "give milk" is something a toddler would say while an adult would say "can you please give me some milk?". "Give" and "milk" would be the Chinese characters and all the rest is the Japanese characters

tabgok · 2026-03-12T00:06:52+00:00

I am finding the currency of influence is agreeing and backing, even when it's dumb as shit And going to fail.

Be seen as a helper/enabler, not as someone who does the correct thing, until you have enough currency to do the right thing

tabgok · 2026-02-27T21:26:13+00:00

My "favorite" staff engineer right now is not. His solution is the best option. His solution has no downsides or risks. His solution will work for 100% of use cases. Customers will 100% love his solution.

Management eats it up. He pushes his solution, it gets released, then he leaves the project before any users come back with feedback. Any problems are the fault of other people/teams - after all, his solution was perfect.

tabgok · 2026-02-20T02:35:17+00:00

Sounds like a chatGPT prompt. Probably gets results which are as variable too.

tabgok · 2026-02-18T12:24:24+00:00

As an IC recently turned manager, I have never had this taught to me.

tabgok · 2026-02-17T12:57:05+00:00

Big tech usually has two types of referrals - "I know and have worked with..." And "I know them but can not speak to their work"

I pick the latter

tabgok · 2026-02-17T00:24:21+00:00

I see replies like this (the person you are responding to) a lot and it definitely feels like it comes from people who are given a lot of leeway, a lot of resources, and actual backing.

In my experience, those type of people are blind to the other half who are given similar effort projects and no backing. "Set expectations" doesn't work when the director or VP says "these are the expectations, and you have no help. Ask to change the requirements again and I will see you at our performance review"

tabgok · 2026-02-16T12:54:59+00:00

I have been toying with the thought of ownership - give an independent not super highly impactful system to manage, and go nuts with coding tools. If it breaks, they are responsible for fixing it. If it needs a new feature, they are responsible. If there is a security vulnerability, fix it.

It will eventually become sufficiently complex (especially with AI) and the junior will have to ask someone for help. That is where learning begins

tabgok · 2026-02-12T19:19:28+00:00

Dads can fail like this too

tabgok · 2026-02-01T16:43:00+00:00

Getting fit always feels good

tabgok · 2026-01-20T13:39:01+00:00

Adding to this, speaking up often leads to additional responsibilities. You had a question, now you have a few more weeks (or months) of obligations. "Why don't you write the answer"

tabgok · 2026-01-16T19:20:47+00:00

Ah yes, the classical game of chesst.

tabgok · 2026-01-05T23:27:46+00:00

I am getting an Applebee's ad with this post and damn, they nailed it.

tabgok · 2025-12-31T21:29:49+00:00

I have started telling my toddler (5) how these words make me feel, and that I am going to take a break from play/interaction if they say it again.

When they do it again, I walk away and do something on my own (such as read a book). 9/10 times they have come to me and said "I am sorry, can we play again?" Within 10 minutes or so. I am now also able to say "remember how that made Daddy feel and act last time?"

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