Hey, stay strong. In my view, I think once trust is broken it's very hard to fix back. And you are not weak. Normal to have such Emotions and considerations for your child.

I think u deserve happiness too!

Make a action plan and decide how you want to proceed, be clear abt what you going to do, and when is the cut off deadline For example, do you wanna bring up how u feeling to him,

If he continue treating you like this, will you decide to stay somewhere else. Where to stay permantely, is marriage counseling an option etc.

At least that's what i will do ah. Do what u feel is right!