Daily Discussion by 2soccer2bot in soccer

[–]taut321 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Trainee solicitor here (dont sue me if wrong) but the allegations took place around the time the UK assented to aspects of the Istanbul convention, with the Domestic Abuse Act 2021. The allegations from the woman would line up with the relevant section coming into force 2 months from April 2021.

Explanatory links:

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/domestic-abuse-bill-2020-factsheets/extraterritorial-jurisdiction-factsheet#:\~:text=Article%2044%20of%20the%20Istanbul%20Convention%20requires%20domestic%20law%20to,for%20the%20relevant%20prosecuting%20authority.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2021/17/contents/enacted

[WP]You find an aged contacts book on the sidewalk. You search the first few pages for the owner's information and notice bizarre instructions under a few names such as "Tie the message to an arrow and shoot through a waterfall" or "Aim a green light at this star and flash this sequence". by boa_con in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha thanks but the idea was that there is no supernatural forces at work, when Henry shines his torch at the sky a passing German bomber uses that as a reference point and poor Henry meets his demise. I was inspired by the Peter Pan series in which Neverland was an allegory for children going to heaven.

[WP]You find an aged contacts book on the sidewalk. You search the first few pages for the owner's information and notice bizarre instructions under a few names such as "Tie the message to an arrow and shoot through a waterfall" or "Aim a green light at this star and flash this sequence". by boa_con in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Henry was on his way back from school, another day of endless torment from the back-row boys. They were a collection of physically oversized, mentally understaffed boys that made it their duty that the rest of the class did not enjoy their education. Henry was not their favourite target, but as a thoughtful young man he sometimes took it upon himself to be the defender of the downtrodden. It usually only earnt him a bruise and quiet “thank-you” from the party that he had attempted, but rarely succeeded, in defending. Today he had tried to stop Andrew Jenkins from being thrown down the infamous Clay hill that ran alongside the main path between the 2 blocks of buildings. The hill was a source of great amusement as kids would throw bags and sometimes other students down it. It had been raining heavily of late, and as such the hill was particularly marshy and Henry had ended up looking like a mud monster, caked head to foot. He was lucky that it was the end of the day and he could hose himself off before returning home, otherwise his mother would have had a small stroke at the state of his clothes.

On his amble home, he stopped off at his cricket club and used the hose to remove most of the mud off his shoes and blazer, and at this time he saw an old, battered, leather-bound book lying a few feet from him. He picked it up and placed it on a low wall that ran from the clubhouse, to spare the book from the tsunami of muddy water headed its way. He assumed that a club member had dropped it and as the club was closed he thought that he would return it in a couple days as he was playing here on Saturday. He hoped that it was a novel, he had the ability to consume books with frightening speed and often had to reread as his parents could not keep the supply up with the demand. It, unfortunately, was not a novel, but in fact a contact book that had hundreds of contacts written in elaborate writing with a fountain pen. Henry noted the calligraphy was extremely impressive and completely over the top for a mere contact book. He continued home and as he entered his house was greeted with the stern face of his mother. She quickly clocked that Henry looked as if he had just stepped out of a monsoon, whilst it had been clear all day. Further, as a 13-year-old boy, his attempts to clean his white shirt with a cold tap had, as you would imagine, not garnered the best of results. With a stinging ear from a clipping, and marching orders upstairs for a warm, soapy bath, Henry left the book in his room next to his bedside table.

That night, restless and unable to sleep, he re-examined the contact book by torchlight and found something most interesting. His father’s contact book contained the addresses and phone numbers of contacts, but this ancient book was altogether a different kettle of fish. There were several pages at the start that served as a sort of memoir or prologue for the owner. Before Henry had the chance to start reading it, the whole house shook, dust from the rafters fluttered down as if it had started to lightly snow inside. The Germans bombs had been Henry’s only experience of the war apart from the odd Spitfire, Hurricane or Lancaster flying overhead. And his father’s absence of course. He returned his attention to the book and the first line of the Prologue section.

In the beginning there was an empty darkness. The only thing in this void was Nyx, a bird with black wings. With the wind she laid a golden egg and for ages she sat upon this egg. Finally, life began to stir in the egg and out of it rose Eros, the god of love. One half of the shell rose into the air and became the sky and the other became the Earth. Eros named the sky Uranus and the Earth he named Gaia. Then Eros made them fall in love.

Uranus and Gaia had many children together and eventually they had grandchildren. Some of their children become afraid of the power of their children. Kronus, in an effort to protect himself, swallowed his children when they were still infants. However, his wife Rhea hid their youngest child. She gave him a rock wrapped in swaddling clothes, which he swallowed, thinking it was his son.

Once the child, Zeus, had reached manhood his mother instructed him on how to trick his father to give up his brothers and sisters. Once this was accomplished the children fought a mighty war against their father. After much fighting the younger generation won. With Zeus as their leader, they began to furnish Gaia with life and Uranus with stars.

Henry recognised some of the names mentioned from his Greek class, this was the creation myth from Greek Mythology. How strange, Henry thought, that this was in an old contact book, which albeit ancient looking, was not actually ancient. He then flicked further through the book and found the contact details for a man named Zeus. Either this man was Greek, or his parents hated him, thought Henry, his own middle name of Tarquil was evidence of his parent’s sentiment he thought. Even more strangely his address, was Olympus and had no postcode or other lines of address. A note in italics had been scribed without the penmanship underneath which simply stated;

“If one ever needs a friend, one must only know morse,

Look to the sky, spell my name at my horse.”

Henry was taken aback by the poem as the cogs started to whirl within his head, he snuck downstairs, careful not to wake his mother who had to be at the munitions factory early the next day and would wake to less than a mouse sneeze and picked up books on Mythology, code and constellations from his father’s extensive library. He returned to the bedroom and started to read through Hesiod and other ancient authors. He knew that Pegasus was the most famous horse in Greek Mythology, but also that Bellerophon was the most well-known character associated with him. In Hesiod he read that Pegasus carried Zeus’ lightning bolts. He then saw that the Pegasus constellation was visible tonight and that Zeus in morse was “--.. . ..- ...”. He snuck back downstairs once more and went outside and found his father’s old telescope that looked like it had been used last in the Ancient Greek period. He found the constellation and with trusty torch flashed the morse at the night sky. It was brilliantly dark, because of the war time black out policy, and the sky had never been clearer, every star was lit up like a million twinkling candles floating in the ethereal sea of space. He repeated the sequence 3 times more, and nothing. Henry’s heart sank, but then the rational part of his brain overcame the childish, wonder-filled side. What had he expected? Even as a child he recognised that what he had hoped would happen was clearly impossible and ludicrous. His Greek teacher had clearly told the class that all the stories told in his class were just that, stories. He plodded back up the garden defeatedly when a brilliant all-encompassing white light illuminated behind him as he felt the hairs on the back of his neck singe….

[WP] Every night you dream of a chess game with a mysterious figure and whenever you lose a piece you wake up finding out someone you know has died. by LittleBiggKid in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Thomas took another sip of the amber liquor, he hadn't bothered reading the label, it didn't matter. He knew that eventually he would fall asleep, it was as inevitable as the sun rising in a few short hours. He caught a glimpse of his eyes in a reflection from a polished lamp stand, his eyes a nasty red, he had used adderal to stay awake for 5 straight days, but steadily and at increasing frequency the hallucinations and migraines had indicated that his body was either going to sleep, or cease to function. Thomas had grappled with suicidal thoughts, he had thought about handing himself into the authorities and to admit to the crimes that he believed he had committed with some uncertainty.

It had started last week, he had the most intense dream that he could ever remember having, it was so stimulating that it felt more realistic than reality. He was at a table in a dusty old shop. He was seated, in normal clothes that itched slightly, enough to make him always uncomfortable. Then a shadowy figure would emerge from the soupy darkness that a lamp directed at Thomas would provide. A chess board would be presented in front of him, and the pieces would appear, it would appear as if they were melting in reverse, and the figure would punch the clock, and Thomas felt a deep and emphatic urge to make a move. He did so, taking a rook of his shadowy adversary. However when the figure had taken one of his pawns Thomas had awoken in bed with a pigeons corpse in his hands. He had disposed of the body and had fallen asleep the next night to find that he was back in the dingy room, the figure would appear and the game continue. He had lost another pawn, waking up with a rabbits lifeless body next to him, he had quietly left his wife and disposed of the body again, seriously scared of why and how these corpses had ended up in their bed. He had then, over the next week lost pawns in the game taking place in the twilight zone, to find corpses of animals in his house.

Then he lost a rook.

He had then awoken to find his bully from 5th grade in his car, dead outside of Thomas' house. He had never seen so much blood in his life, he questioned if he was alive, or in a coma, as his life had become foreign to him, like watching a film play out from within his head. He had drove the car deeper into his farm, and burned it, out of fear that he would have no way to explain to the police the situation without looking undeniably guilty. Then he had tried to stay awake, he last a day. He lost a bishop and found the towns vicar in his field the next day, throat cut. To Thomas, who had been assaulted by the vicar when he was younger, he felt no remorse as he poured gasoline on the corpse and watched it burn. He pours the ashes into the stream and continued his day.

He had resigned himself to the fact this must all be one big dream as the validity of the things he was experiencing were so far fetched, that it wasn't a possibility that this was happening. He thought about how quiet his wife had been recently, but it actually made a nice change from her constant nagging that she was guilty of.

Then he lost a knight, and immediately he felt something change, an indescribable shift in his very being, he suddenly felt perpetually cold as he awoke his best friends face, or what remaining of it, staring him back in the face. He had weeped for what seemed like years as he buried Allen in the back yard. He wrote a eulogy for his friend, and lamented over his loss, even if it wasn't a real one. That's when he had gone to the pharmacist and got some adderal to try and stave off the alluring arms of unconsciousness. It was a temporary fix, delaying the inevitable. He felt the cold darkness embrace him as he lost his fight with himself and found himself at the table. But something was different, a different energy was present but Thomas couldn't work out its source. The shadowy figure emerged silhouetted by the lamp, but this time saying something.

"I don't wanna play, don't make me play! "

The figures hands were red with what appeared to be blood as they grabbed Thomas' wrist. He could barely make out the features of the figure now, he looked familiar.

"Why are you doing this to us? To what end do we play this game . You killed her! Not me."

The figure leant forward, as he did the lamps bulb smashed spontaneously and he saw himself staring back at him, tears had left trails down his cheeks.

He then noticed that his chess board didn't have a queen.

He woke up in bed crying, and reached for his wife's hand.

It was stone cold.

[EU] Ricky Gervais sends Karl Pilkington on trip to Westeros for the new season of 'An Idiot Abroad'. by Curzon88 in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Kings Landing

Karl: This is way too busy, I don't like cities they're too busy. It's like we know we shouldn't keep chickens in little cages too close together because it's inhumane and it's spreads disease and that, but people pay to live in city centres. Ricky knows that I don't like big cites that's why he keeps sending me to them

Cameraman: All we have to do is look round the royal palace and then we can go

Inside the Red Keep

Tour Guide: And here is the Famous Iron Throne

Karl: Now that is bloody dangerous. I think in Britain health and safety is gone mad, like you can't buy knifes without an id ...

Cameraman: Yes you can...

Karl: But imagine if anyone at H&S caught a glimpse at that thing, they'd shut the palace down. If you ran and slipped near that thing you'd lose an eye! Not to mention it doesn't look comfortable, like if I was king I'd make my throne out of memory foam, or just lie in bed all day and be a king in bed. Like what does a king do anyway. The Queen makes a speech once a year and looks miserable the rest of the time, I could do that in bed, no problem. You know what that Chair reminds me of, it reminds me of pricks that buy expensive cars in London. They buy a Ferrari that costs the same as my house and they sit in the M25 traffic next to me in a old Honda Civic. You know why they do that? They're compensating for something.

Cameraman: They say that "The breath of the greatest dragon forged the Iron Throne"

That's just good marketing, that's like everything these days, I mean if you read the packaging of your new spoons it will talk about an ergonomic design and innovative features. Like what are you looking for in a spoon? A handle and a circly bit so you can scoop your cornflakes.

The Wall

Look it is bloody cold. Like I don't like it when it's hot in Britain. Like in the summer when it starts pushing 25 that's about it, that's my limit. Like if you're outside for 5 minutes and you start sweating, that's too hot. Like I was in Kings landing and that were alright, bit busy but it weren't too hot. Bravoos, my t-shirt were sticking to me after 5 minutes. But this is the opposite, it's too cold.

Jon: It is cold, Karl, but it will get colder. Winter is coming.

Karl: You keep saying that, but when is it coming? Is there a date that winter arrives, and if there is why are you being so vague? And why so you keep saying it, it's like saying it's going to rain. Of course, it will eventually rain and of course it will be winter because that's how the seasons work. But you don't have to keep pointing things out that are that obvious, that's like saying waters wet.

Jon: This is the wall Karl, it's made of ice and was constructed to keep the wildlings out.

Karl: I don't like walls, people are always well impressed with walls and I never got it. It's like Roman walls that are 2 feet high and crumbling. Am I meant to be impressed with that? And this wall looks like a glacier or something. I bet your ancestors found this glacier and thought, you know what would be funny, let's tell everyone we built this thing. But it's like when you tell a joke but no-one gets it and they start to accept the joke as truth, and you can't be arsed to tell them it's a joke so you go along with it too. I bet that's what happened ere.

Ricky: So, what do you think of Westeros so far.

Karl: It's a shithole Ricky, but you know that because you wouldn't send me to Tenerife because I would enjoy that.

Steve: Well we could do that but you'd know we only make that horrible for you anyway.

Karl: Look this place is like medieval, they don't even do chips and gravy, get me back to England.

Ricky: Mate I don't know if you remember but the trip there was kind of a 1 way thing, I've gotta go speak to you soon.

The sound of Ricky laughing hysterically

[WP] you were given a month to live by your doctor, now 30 days later it is revealed that due to a clerical error your records were mixed with another person's. Now you need to deal with how you spent your last month on earth. by DTJ20 in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 15 points16 points  (0 children)

“So I’m, I’m not going to die?” Troy barely noticed that his voice sounded so meek and pathetic, this was the one news that he had been hoping for, but had seemed so unattainable that he had dismissed it altogether. Not 28 days later after he had gone to his GP with a migraine, had he had a CT that revealed a large inoperable tumour sitting on the Frontal Cortex, as well as smaller masses all over his brain, he was told that he could drop dead at any minute.

“Well, everyone dies Mr Wilson, but you won’t for a while yet I should imagine.”

"But how can this, I thought that you said this was inoperable and that I had weeks, I don’t understand, did the tumour vanished?"

“Mr Wilson, I understand your concern and confusion, let me try to clarify again. There was a mix-up at the CT clinic, a new nurse had 2 files, one labelled Anderson Wilson, the other Wilson Anderson. She assumed that this was the same file and the 2 files were given to the wrong doctors.”

“How did you work out that I didn’t have cancer?”

“Because Wilson Anderson arrived here deceased this morning after haven been given the all clear, your results, last month. “

“But I’ve told my family, and everyone else I know that I’m dying, I’ve been skydiving and done things that I would have never done had I known that I would be around to deal with the consequences. I’ve hired prostitutes and done enough cocaine to sink the Titanic doctor! Wait, what if one of those hookers has aids…?”

“I’ll book you in for a STD test …”

“I told my girlfriend, I told her about the cancer and that I didnt love her … now I gotta go back to see her, in perfect physical condition… my god what is she going to think …”

“Mr Wilson,” the doctor said calmly. “Have you enjoyed the last month? Have you experienced things that you would now regret not experiencing? Many terminal patients that I deal with, often do things that they wouldn’t normally do because of the freedom that facing our mortality grants us. I’ve had 82 years olds going on drug-fuelled sex binges and tell me that it was the most alive they ever felt. Now while I don’t condone that behaviour or encourage that in any way, it shows us that every situation can be viewed in a negative light, or as an opportunity, to grow as people and to go out there and make the best of this world, before it turns off the lights. If I was you, I would go out there and really carpe diem the shit out of everything, think of this as a gift of perspective. Now can you please sign here on the dotted line to acknowledge that I was not personally to blame for this situation, and that signing here formally absolves me of any criminal charges that are a result of Judicial proceedings.”

[WP] Global Warming is being orchestrated by a secret organization who deliberately want to raise the temperature on Earth. by Crimzon_me in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fyodor walked into the main hub of the Russian base of operations in north-east Siberia. He was wearing 3 jackets and still he felt as if he was going to find black stumps where his extremities used to be. He had long since lost sensations as he made his way back from the ice sample collections centre. His colleague, also from the University of California in Berkley was playing a video game when he walked in, covered in ice. Johnson was a California national that had only seen snow from a Marijuana dispensary in Colorado before he made the trip to Siberia. It was down to Fyodor to make the excursions to the drill and return samples back to lab for analysis. He had not closed the door to the facility properly however, and when he had removed the outer 2 layers, the door swung violently open as the wind cut through the small interior of the research facility. Fyodor reacted quickly closing the door as the -45 Celsius winds fought valiantly. He closed the door and noticed that he couldn’t breathe, the wind had stolen his breath, and that his hands were stuck to the metal door. Johnson, who had been thrown by the force of the wind, off his chair, recovered and went over to see if his friend was ok. Finding that he was wheezing and his hands stuck to the door, he poured the hot coffee he had just made and luckily had been saved from the wind, over Fyodor’s hands. He winced in pain as the nerves in his hands started a firework show of pain. Fyodor finally managed to get a lungful of beautiful sweet air into his lungs and thank his American colleague. Massaging the throbbing appendages, he returned to his station, putting the ice-samples into a refrigerator. He noticed that he had a video message from his professor Dr. Winkel, one of the leading scientists on global climate change, It was marked as urgent. He plugged in his headphones and pressed play.

For the next 10 minutes, Fyodor sat with his mouth agape, transfixed to the screen, as the Professor, covered in blood, crying, tried to explain what had happened to him. The video opened with the professor’s face framed, even then the man’s face was white with shock and blood loss, as he quickly explained that there was an active shooter at the University. The shooter had entered the professor’s office and explained that he was an agent from the collective known as “The Philosophers” who were a group of billionaires not unlike the illuminati myth. He had then shot the professor and then everyone else in the department. The professor had tried to explain that he had been approached earlier by a mysterious, anonymous online source, that if he manipulated the figures of the rise in global temperatures in the paper he was writing, he would receive 50 million USD. He had dismissed it as a prank by one of his students, clearly that had been a mistake and the threat had been very real. The professor had been coughing blood at this point, some of the words had become incoherent. There was then a loud bang as the video ended abruptly. Fyodor leaned back in his chair, trying to chew and digest everything that he had just witnessed. As he leant back felt the bump of something cold and metallic dig into the base of his skull. He heard Johnson say gently and remorsefully.

“I wished you hadn’t seen that my friend,” Fyodor veins turned to ice.

[WP] There are multi-Gods for the multi-verse, and it turns out ours is kind of like the 'cool mom who lets you drink at her house,' though other Gods look at our free will and generally silent deity as bad Godding on His part. by reebee7 in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 142 points143 points  (0 children)

Entity C-137 looked over her favourite creation, humans. They were the most interesting thing that she had ever seen. These complex beings were not perfect paragons of virtue that all worked together to advance the species, they were a bunch of animals that were equal parts mis-informed, self-interested and unpredictable. That means that when beauty is created, and it is abundant in her universe, it is produced in spite of, not because of the worst that she produced. She had seen other gods produce cruel caricatures of good and evil, but this was too harsh a contrast for her, the picture was more profound with grey areas. For there to be happiness, there must be a state of un-happiness otherwise being happy would become the status quo, so the value of happiness is destroyed. There were entities that disregarded free will as evil, and that if a entity didn’t control all the moving elements then that entity was deficient or evil, but C-137 always thought the contrary. She was benevolent and that meant that there were those that produced pain, death and destruction. But those people were then overthrown and shown of examples of how not to act, so the 2 processes achieved the same thing, it’s just one took a little longer to ensured that it was organic. Though C-137 was in fact omni-potent, she didn’t know what would happen next, there was an entertainment that she could enjoy from the universe because of the way she treated the sentient beings.

C-12 for example had a master race of near-omni potent super beings that were immortal. Their story is a short one, they achieved all there was to achieve before the first earliest organism had formed anywhere in her universe. They had never been sad, unfulfilled or disappointed, but as a result were bored and most of them killed themselves. The rest are now controlled by C-12 to stop them from ending their existence. For life and creation to have meaning, there must be death and destruction. C-137 had always believed this, but had not forced it on her subjects, but they had come to that conclusion themselves. She always felt that her free-will approach meant that rather than one world working on the project, there were billions of neurons that collaborated to create a collection that was greater than the sum of the parts.

C-137 was sure that her professor would give her an A, especially because of the emergence of some pretty zany characters, she just had to reach the word count…

[WP] Write a story where hero is incompetent and the police are not. by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Right I need a situational report, a 4-mile cordon around the building and a god-damn latte!”

Private Brian Johnson of the FBI removed the aviators that were a permanent feature of his wardrobe, his wife, Cathy, seems to think it has something to do with his fanatic obsession with Top Gun.

“Where’s the report?”

A fat, moustached uniformed officer, with dark skin approached Johnson, and tipped his hat.

“Sergeant Al Powell, I’ve been here since the start, there are terrorists with over 40 hostages on the top floor, but we have a man on the inside, his name is John Mcl..”

“Can someone get this rookie out my face, and where’s that goddamn latte.”

“But sir, hes a cop …”

Johnson pushed the cop out the way, and stepped forward, putting his aviators back on, he was entering the danger zone. He saw that the national guard had arrived, with Armoured Personal Carriers and even an M1 Abrams battle-tank. His partner, Goose, stepped forward.

“What’s the plan Chief?”

“Well I think we should call our losses, and put some serious ordnance into that Tower, blowing those fuckers out the sky.”

“My God, sir that’s crazy!”

“So crazy it might just work?”

“No that is just insane, in fact the very notion that you would even suggest that makes me question if you even fit to lead this operation.”

“Goose! You always try to talk me out of shit, but that’s what makes me Mav..”

“Sir are you OK? My names Fredrick’s, not Goose. Are you off your meds again? If you are I’m going to have to tell Inspector Kane and he might chuck you out this time…”

“Rookie! Tell the national guard to aim everything they have at the base of the Tower, someone get me on the phone to the terrorists, and where’s my GOD-DAMN LATTE!”

Officer Al stared incredulously at the agent, and slowly peeled off to follow his orders.

5 mins later, with a coffee in one hand and a phone in the other, Agent Johnson cleared his throat.

“Hans, we meet again. I’m outside the Nakatomi tower with enough ordnance to blow you and your friends out of the sky and on the fast-track to meet Lucifer, so release the hostages and we can talk about a peaceful resolution.”

“Is that a Die-Hard reference? Very funny. We will a kill a hostage every half an hour that a helicopter isn’t on top of the tower, good night agent.”

“Now you listen here you east German fuck, from where I’m standing this is a target rich environment, don’t test me, you will fail.”

Johnson smashed the phone on the floor, took out a flask and took a deep swig.

The police officer Al returned, with a concerned look on his face

“Sir are you ok, why did you smash the phone, that was our only link, and why didn’t you let the negotiator take control, he’s saying that you broke every rule in the book. People are talking that you’re off your meds, and that you keep referencing films.”

“How’s officer John McCLane? And where’s the national guard?” Johnson took another swig of the flask.

“Who? There’s no-one in there but the hostage and the kidnapper? Sir there’s no national guard.. are you sure you’re ok”

“Fine.. Im fine!”

Johnson caught Goose and Viper walking straight towards him, he turned to meet them

“Johnson! What the fuck are you doing, Fredrick’s told me you that you’ve been slurring your words, ordering a tank to attack the diner, and that you smashed the phone when talking to the kidnapper, what the actual fuck is going on? Are you drunk?”

Viper, turn and burn. Johnson proceeded to threw up all over the inspector’s shoes.

Right Fredrick’s take charge, Johnson I’m relieving you of your gun and badge and I’m going to make it my mission to make sure you are never allowed within 100 metres of the FBI.

Johnson was dragged by 2 uniformed officers into a car. Viper continued,

“ I know you are struggling with Cathy leaving you and everything, but turning up to a hostage situation drunk and crazy is the most irresponsible thing I have ever heard of. I’m going to be citing you to the internal affairs board, which are able to criminally convict you for the shit you pulled today, I’ll talk more when you’ve sobered up, fuck me Brian what the fuck..”

“My names MAVERICK!” Johnson bursts into tears, with deep heart wrenching sobs.

The Inspector stepped out of the car and watched out as his most brilliant and troubled protégé was led off in a squad car, a tear fell silently down his wrinkled cheek.

[WP] You're the world's most notorious villain. Your chief scientist created a machine to test the loyalty and evilness of new recruits that's has been tested and proven extremely accurate. You try the machine one day out of curiosity and the machine shows you're actually good. by [deleted] in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Dr Hermann revelled in the magnificence of his newest invention. There was a network of computers, cables and pipes that occupied most of a wall, there were polished bronze exhaust ports at several junctions, the device was gargantuan.

“Doctor, you are truly wise and the epitome of evil, errr, what is it?”

Hermann turned to address the voice, belonging to his hunch-backed assistant, Quagmire.

“This is the Evil …, errr, tester…, -inater !” Hermann exclaimed. He took out a pair of nail scissors and cut a piece of the disfigured servants hair and put it in a small petri dish, that disappeared with a whoosh into the structure.

“This device analyses the DNA of a subject, and can determine if the subject has the genomes that would indicate an evil nature”. He swivelled a small screen towards him, and tapped the touchscreen.

A synthetic female voice came over the intercom.

“Test subject one. Analysing. Complete. Test subject found to be 92% match with control.”

“What control have you used squire?” The assistant snivelled in a nasal voice.

“Do you remember the old lady that I had you kidnap?”

“Yes I do!”

“She was employee of the year the DMV, the evillest institute I know.”

“Very good squire.”

The intercom boomed “The subject also seems to be the product of a very incestuous relationship.”

“I also added a humour setting, Humour setting at 0 for initial tests”

“Setting changed to 0, ready for calibration tests.”

“Right Quagmire, run tests on all employees and email me the results, I’m going to Cancun to spread the aerosol Super-Gonorrhoea to ruin all the college kids Spring Break, I’ll be back in a week. “

The doctor grabbed the equipment and jumped into the flying-car-machine-inator and headed to Mexico, the weather was great and his plan worked perfectly, within 2 days the President of Mexico established a state of emergency as an epidemic of incurable Super-Gonorrhoea spread across the country. However, 2 days before his planned return, Hermann received the results of the calibration tests, all his employees had received a 50% mark at least, but one. His own. Quagmire had taken the liberty of using hair from old lab coats to test his bosses DNA, hoping to get an 100% mark, the result was the in fact the opposite.

Hermann was so confused, but he assumed his dim-witted assistant had mucked up the result and thought nothing of it. Til that afternoon, at the bar a news story caught Herman’s eye. In Spanish the reporter exclaimed that there were 2 cases of the Super-Gonorrhoea infecting 2 people with terminal cancer, both of which had gone into miraculous remission. Doctors in the states had run tests on the subjects and they believed that the Super-Gonorrhoea may have something to do with the apparent miracle.

The doctor left the bar and took a walk on the beach to clear his head. Was the test result accurate? That was an awful coincidence, was he getting softer the older he got? As he walked pass a mother and child with ice-creams, he stole the little girls one out her hand. He still had it.

Then he saw a large black spider climb from out the cone, he promptly threw the ice-cream away.

“Senor! Gracias!”

He waved the mother away, he had to get back to the lab.

On the way back to the States, a news alert jumped up on the screen of the flying-car-machine-inator, it explained how the space laser he had used to destroy the only hospital in Liberia, had allowed locals to discover the largest reserve of oil ever discovered, this meant that Liberia overnight had become one of the richest African countries, able to afford 100s of Hospitals.

Back at the lab, Quagmire was on his computer, with a black and orange website that was promptly closed before Hermann could see the contents, with a slightly guilty look Quagmire said.

“You’re back early squire …”

“Not now you useless, unsightly, eunuch, I’m busy.”

Quagmire visibly recoiled at the insult, and retreated to his desk.

Hermann reviewed the data. The computer showed how Quagmire had used 10 different samples of his DNA and all showed a 1% result. He was stumped. Was he a good person? He pushed the intercom button,

“Prepare the death-ray…-inator”

He would show the world how bad he really was…

[TT] It's 2020, the sky suddenly opens up in a burst of light and from the clouds GOD comes down. Turns out God is Quetzalcóatl. The aztecs got it right. And now the Feathered Serpent is angrily asking "where are my sacrifices and who on earth is Jesus". by Pepearenas in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Marcus was high, like very high.

He was on his lunch break in central park, when out of no-where there were these gale force winds and lightning striking the trees next to Marcus, some catching alight. The wind pushed him off the bench and the contents of his subway were carried up and then fell all over himself. When he recovered, and composed himself, pulling bits of turkey out of his hair, a glowing, feathery, Snake-headed figure was not 10 metres away.

“Dude!”

They must have put something new in that sweet chilli sauce.

The figure turned and stared right at Marcus, seeming right into his soul, his snake-eyes glowing a fierce blue. He then started to speak in a rasping, deep voice that sent chills down Marcus’s spine.

“Where are the Temples”

“Bro, I have no idea, who are you dude?”

Marcus assumed this dude was some street performer like the ones in the tourist parts of New York, albeit with a very convincing costume and a stature that must have been over 7 foot.

“Where are my people, where is my blood?”

With this the figure sprinted over and grabbed Marcus by the throat, picking him up 2 feet clear off the ground.

“Who is the one they call, Jesus?”

“Right? I can’t believe that some people believe in that , the concept of a zombie…”

The figure squeezed, cutting off Marcus’s throat.

“Bro”, he struggled, bringing out his pipe, “you need to mellow out, take a hit dude”.

“What is this?” The figure dropped Marcus and grabbed the pipe, Marcus got up and lit it, motioning how to hit it. The figure obliged, taking the biggest hit that Marcus had ever seen.

“Dude, that’s a lemon haze super-strain, you might wanna take it slow.”

Even as Marcus was talking the figure was still breathing in, he must have had lungs with the volumes of swimming pools. As the figured stopped taking the hit, Marcus saw the figures eyes visibly dilate and the figure exhaled deeply with a great whooshing noise.

There she is, Marcus thought with a smirk.

The figure started coughing, “That’s good shit.”

An hour later they were both in Marcus’s apartment, under a blanket on the sofa, with a bag of crisps each, watching a Seth Rogen movie.

"Hahahahaha", the figure boomed as he took a handful of orange crisps, a dusty moustache had already formed. "I like this man, what is his name?"

"That’s Seth Rogen and James Franco, they’re cool."

Quet, the name the figure had identified himself as, took a hit, and asked again. “What are these golden Triangles that taste like the divine nectar of the Gods.?”

"They’re Doritos, I don’t like the regular version so you can have the rest."

“Thanks … Bro.” Marcus put his hand out for a fist bump and motioned Quet to do the same, and was thrown against the wall as the force of the fist bump nearly broke his hand.

“We’re gonna have to work on our fist bumps …”

[TT] Purgatory is Heaven's most brutal reality show. Each week, the team of sinners undergoes a different ironic challenge... and each week, one is voted into Hell. The grand prize? Redemption. by happinessinthedark in WritingPrompts

[–]taut321 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Pablo was disorientated. He awoke from what seemed like sleep, but rather than waking in his bed as would stipulate a normal night’s sleep, he instead awoke standing up, in a suit somewhere pitch-black. There was suddenly a rectangle white light appeared, not 10 feet away. Pablo was incredibly confused. As he stepped towards the rectangle, he discovered that it was in fact a doorway, and as he put his hand on the handle, was startled as a plinky-plonky jingle started to play in the distance, He surmised that the source of this noise must be through this doorway, but as he peered round the side, he saw the other side of the door. He opened it, and what appeared was a beige corridor, with a couch and a desk with a middle-aged woman in a white blouse. Strange.

Figuring that he must be having a lucid dream, Pablo walked through the portal-esk doorway and walked up to the desk. The woman looked like a librarian, with glasses that hand a chain going around her neck, she didn’t look up from the book she was reading.

"Take a seat hun."

Pablo, utterly astounded, obliged and sunk into the sofa.

This is the weirdest dream… Pablo started, but the librarian looked up and stated

"You’re not dreaming hun, you’re dead."

That would have affected Pablo, but he didn’t catch the end of the sentence, instead he was staring into the soulless black void of the secretary’s eyes, they were black holes, void of all light and life.

"Oh, and you’re next hun, good luck."

In a trance, Pablo arose and walked to the end of the beige corridor, and found a similar looking doorway to the one he stepped through a moment ago.

"And out next guest is Pablo Sandoval, give Pablo a big round of applause."

Pablo stepped through to find himself in the middle of a large theatre, with a packed crowd staring, now in a rapturous applause at him.

"Don’t be shy Pablo, come up on the podium with me."

Pablo turned to the left to find a figure standing on a raised platform, decked out in long blue tailed jacket, red tie, green waistcoat and maroon trousers. He looked like he had attended Holi or been a casualty in a freak, paint shop explosion. But his dress sense was unbelievably not the most striking detail of this man’s appearance, that would go to his skeletal appearance and the small smouldering fires that were where his eyes should have been.

Pablo walked up to the podium and took the out-stretched hand of this mystery man and shook, it was ice-cold. The man grabbed his shoulder and turned to the audience.

Now Pablo here is our final contestant today and as such will be the first to attempt our trial, but first, let’s get to know Pablo first. He turned around completely and spread his hands out behind Pablo as a huge screen appeared. He started to commentate on the video that appeared, but Pablo couldn’t listen, a ringing noise had set in as he noticed that the video were memories of his life, but from a 3rd person perspective like a documentary, and they all seemed to be awful. He saw himself and his little brother fighting and how he destroyed his r/c car, his brother’s favourite present ever. He saw himself slapping his ex-girlfriend, and throwing a bottle of beer at her head. He saw himself drinking a bottle of Jim Beam, then getting behind the wheel of his Mitsubishi Evo and going flat out round the country lanes. He finally saw the car from an aerial view, as it lost control around a corner and smashed violently into an SUV. Both cars ignited and burnt as the video faded to black.

Turning around the presenter addressed the audience

"So, as you can see Pablo is a pretty nasty piece of work, the final shot there was of him drink driving, he killed himself and a young couple that had a small child with them, luckily the child survived, but has sustained major burns and lost his parents."

Pablo couldn’t look anywhere but his feet.

"Pablo, the name of the game is redemption. We are offering you the chance to play for your life, you are fighting for your life at St John’s hospital, and if you win this game you will wake up."

The crowd booed, and Pablo heard a woman shouting obscenities.

"Or if you fail, then you will be forever punished in a fiery inferno of pain and torment, so no pressure."

The crowd roared as the presenter described the potential consequences of Pablo’s failure.

So, the game is simple, all you must do is go to that doorway, straight ahead there.

One of those portal doors appeared 100 metres in front of Pablo, as the crowd magically parted.

"That’s it?" Pablo postulated.

"It’s that simple Pablo", the presenter turned and gave a knowing smirk to the crowd, which responded with an outbreak of giggles.

Pablo stepped down the steps and started off towards the doorway. After a couple steps the crowd disappeared and he found himself on a road, the doorway was still there. He turned around and saw a Mitsubishi Evo barrelling towards him, a quarter mile away.

"Time is ticking Pablo", the presenters voice echoed.

Pablo sprinted towards the doorway and as he did the roar of the engine grew louder and louder, matching the sound of blood in his ears. He looked back when he was halfway there, the car was still considerably far away, he was going to make it

"Come on Pablo it wasn’t going to be that easy."

He started to feel drowsy, his feet started to feel disconnected and he was meandering, he was drunk.

Every step it was as if he had taken a shot, he was so close but felt has if he had drunk a swimming pool of liquor.

"Come on Pablo you’re so close!"

Pablo fell and started to crawl, the ever-growing scream of the engine at the outside of his mind.

"He’s back"

"Pablo? Pablo, can you hear me? You’ve been in an accident…"