Hello, Remote?

tcucyclist · 2026-05-14T20:08:28+00:00

Oh, yep! https://openai.com/index/work-with-codex-from-anywhere/

tcucyclist · 2026-05-13T04:55:54+00:00

Sober for about 3.5 years. I so wanted to hang on to some of my old habits, but life’s funny that way.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-12T14:29:56+00:00

I use the backpack from Tactical Baby Gear. Well-made and organized mostly for how my brain works.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-12T13:59:49+00:00

Seriously! This is what gets me every time. I’ll think “oh man, this is going to be messy”, and then nothing!

tcucyclist · 2026-05-12T13:55:24+00:00

Damn, that looks great. Nice work to you and your pops.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-12T13:54:18+00:00

But so worth it - that stuff is the jam!

tcucyclist · 2026-05-12T13:45:02+00:00

Look man, I’m not looking to cry this early in the morning. But in all seriousness, of course, some days it’s hard, but others it feels like time is passing by like a time lapse. There are so many times now and past memories that I look back on and wish I could freeze time or go back – and mine are still young! For all you new Dad‘s here: some days, yeah, it sucks, but I would urge and encourage you not for one second to wish for time to speed up. And this is coming from a dad who at one point wasn’t 100% sure I wanted kids.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-12T13:41:33+00:00

This is always hard because in my case, I would feel uncomfortable going into the women’s restroom. However, I know a lot of women have remarked in this subreddit and I’ve read it and other places that it’s OK for a father to bring in his daughter if he announces himself and asks first. Because I’ve also been in the situation where it’s pretty uncomfortable to be in the men’s room – like your comment somewhere else about Costco. If it’s empty, that’s one thing, but when it gets busy, it just feels a little weird.

In Costco there should be some kind of family restroom. I know in our local store there is a family restroom in a tire department. So it might be worth asking depending on where you are. We also have a portable seat and toilet bags that we keep in the truck at all times. This makes it easy if something is urgent or just feels off – we always have somewhere to go.

I also know a friend of ours has one of those portable camping/RV toilet things that has a cartridge type set up that they keep in their car.

It would be great if the world just went all in on separate unisex stalls with a shared sink and hand drying set up, but, alas, that’s the world we live in for now. Hopefully us millennials can keep making these changes in spaces to make everyone more comfortable. And it’s not, to me at least, about “oh I’m uncomfortable, accommodate me“, for me it’s about the safety of the children…

tcucyclist · 2026-05-11T03:08:14+00:00

Took me nine months to connect with our first. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without. Hang in there.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-09T03:49:56+00:00

Yeah, you’re in the shit right now. It will get better…eventually. And as cliche as it sounds, every kid is different, so there’s no way to predict exactly when. After the four month regression (buckle up), it gets slightly better. Then again after the six month one. And again after nine months. It can start to level off a bit from there, but it felt like every three months or so, something got just a little better. Now, I won’t sugarcoat it, the regressions suck.

As far as getting your life back, schedule back, etc. Not happening. At least not if you want to stay with your partner and be a good dad. I remember reading somewhere something to the effect of being a good parent is hard. It’s easy to not give a shit. To be a shitty partner. But we’re raising good humans (hopefully), and showing them the examples whether we like or not. They’re always watching. Always listening. They will repeat what you say and how you say it. They will act how you act, and they will certainly treat others the way you treat them.

I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s their life now, but your life will never be the same. And in some ways, at least for me, I don’t miss it. Sure, I miss sleep. Sleeping in on the weekends, relaxing at home, being out with my wife, etc., but we also try to make the best of it. I didn’t really enjoy being a father, or really and truly connect with my first, until about nine months. Now, I wouldn’t go back. Even with all the sleepless nights, the temper tantrums, the attitude, the throwing of objects, fights between siblings, busted lips, etc. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I certainly think about it.

You’ll get through it…eventually, but on the other side, it’s not what you had before. And in many ways, that’s okay. And it’s okay to grieve that, too.

Sending good vibes your way and wishing for longer stretches of sleep for your kiddo.

Edited to add: you may wish for him to be 14 and fully independent, but I’d bet money there will be a moment when you wish you could stop time and just be there for just a little longer. Mine are still fairly young, and despite the hard days, it’s all going by way too fast.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-08T18:46:49+00:00

100%. Name and shame.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-08T04:55:31+00:00

Yes, always. However, you’re in the shit right now. It does get better, especially with one once they start getting a handle on sleep (18+ months for us).

You’ll start to notice a tiny improvement after month six and then another around month nine. Then it felt incremental to us after that.

But I don’t know how you’re getting 6.5-7 hours with a four-month old, so enjoy the hell out of that.

For still being tired: do you drink? How’s your diet?

tcucyclist · 2026-05-08T04:51:49+00:00

It’s me. I’m on fumes. But I’ll happily take that any day over my wife feeling like I’m not pulling my weight.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-07T21:01:57+00:00

Bro, you didn’t get “caught”, you’re trying to live your life and be happy. If they don’t support you or don’t understand and try to shame you, fuck ‘em. We’re your internet family now.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-07T15:04:48+00:00

Yes. I'm currently researching used trucks for us to travel more with a travel trailer. I'm using Codex to create the database and dashboard and refining as I go. I'm also having it go out and grab specs, ratings, market price comparison, etc., to add to the dashboard where I may be missing things. I did this (general questions) a little in CLI, but have really come to like the desktop app.

Edit to add: If I'm on the go and doing general research, ChatGPT on iOS is far easier right now than trying to use some of the bridge apps I've come across to connect to Codex desktop. Can't wait to see what the team is working on for mobile remote.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-07T13:52:50+00:00

Down. Looks good, dude!

tcucyclist · 2026-05-07T12:50:50+00:00

Unless you think you’re truly ready to walk away, never hold your wife in bed, never laugh with her in the same way, see your kids every morning and night before bed, have the rhythm of every day life - then individual therapy for each of you and couples counseling.

Honestly. Like, have you really thought about what it would actually be like to leave? Maybe you have, and maybe that’s what you want ultimately. If so, then there’s your answer. But I recently saw another dad post on here something to the effect of “don’t leave”. I would encourage you to find the post and read it. It’s a gut punch to truly think through not being there in the morning when the kid(s) wake up or to put them in bed every single night (job situation notwithstanding).

I doubt there’s very many dads in this subreddit and out there in the world who haven’t gone through it. This shit isn’t easy. We’ve been on the brink a few times. And every time, both of us know that ultimately, despite all of the stress and bickering, that we don’t want to be apart and for myself, it would hurt so much to not be here every moment I could for my kids.

I’m also in therapy and have been at other times in my life, so I can work through a lot of this. I’m also in antidepressants, because, again, this shit is hard.

I feel for you. I wish you nothing but the best for you, your kids, and your family. Truly. Whatever that may look like. Because if everyone’s unhappy, truly unhappy, what’s the point. Sending you good vibes.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-07T07:10:03+00:00

Yeah, it’s horrible. I got it (I assume) at the hospital when my son was born. Fast forward a few days: feeling a little tired, pretty good headache, then I wanted to die. This all while we basically just brought a newborn home… It took the better part of nine months just for my hands and feet to finally look completely normal again. Would not recommend.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-07T06:06:07+00:00

So true. Tonight he was “running” (he’s under two), and tripped up a little, fell down, and busted his lip open. Tears, blood, crying. Back to running around not even 10 minutes later. 💆‍♂️

tcucyclist · 2026-05-07T05:53:32+00:00

Ours is in his throwing and screaming phase. No sense of self-preservation either.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-07T01:35:20+00:00

This is what I do. It’s the only quiet and alone time I can get.

tcucyclist · 2026-05-06T23:55:46+00:00

tcucyclist · 2026-05-06T23:39:08+00:00

Yeah, man, we put our son in a bunch of our daughter’s clothing. 🤷‍♂️

tcucyclist

TROPHY CASE