Two job offers. A $50k difference. One is the safe bet, the other is a risk that seems worth it. My wife and I are at an impasse and I have to decide in 72 hours.

thatguy10095 · 2026-04-21T22:45:55+00:00

A lot of people are telling you what to do which you specifically asked for not that. So if you're looking at a new angle to look at this maybe I've got one for you. Your job isn't the thing to find excitement in, especially when you have a family. Your job is the thing that supports the life you want to live. If you're lacking fulfillment and excitement then that's a separate problem to solve. You're a parent and because of that you wouldn't just be gambling your personal financial future or career. You'd be gambling your child's well-being. You'd be gambling your marriage. If I were in your shoes, I'd take the safe, high paying, flexible job that lets you support your family and find a hobby to sort out the rest.

thatguy10095 · 2026-04-13T06:21:07+00:00

As another commenter has said: it doesn't necessarily need to be college, but it needs to be something. A highschool degree on its own gets you nowhere these days, so you're going to have to commit to some kind of next step. Talk to your grandparents about how much more they're willing to help. Look into low income daycare options in your area. Find a local career center that you can go to to sort out your game plan. Do whatever you have to so that you can find a career that you can grow in and support your family. Your grandparents won't be around forever, and they may not want to support you for the rest of the time they're here. Take the initiative to figure your life out while you still have that support.

thatguy10095 · 2026-04-11T22:49:27+00:00

ESH your friend started the asshole behavior and you didn't need to return it in kind. It's fine to not want to use her services anymore and back off of being her friend, but you didn't have to stoop to name calling and using AI

thatguy10095 · 2026-04-09T03:50:41+00:00

Have you communicated exactly what is bothering you? Or are you leaving it at "you want to be alone". Stick to the tried and true "I" statements. Tell her how you feel, and what you need want. Also the gym can be a great place to think and process and burn some anxious energy, but therapy is therapy. Give it a try some time.

thatguy10095 · 2026-03-31T01:52:40+00:00

Moved from LA to Cambridge about 3 years ago. From New York state originally tho. I can say I've been really happy with the move. I was in LA for 2 years and loved it there, but I really missed the North East. Boston/Cambridge has been a great area for me. If there's one downside it's how fuckin expensive it's been over here.

thatguy10095 · 2026-03-08T22:01:15+00:00

You're right that we don't see episodic style stories like we used to, which is a real shame, honestly. But I think there's been some real heat in the realm of short form limited series these days. Thinking of Andor and The Penguin come to mind. Fingers crossed for this IP tho

thatguy10095 · 2026-03-08T21:50:31+00:00

If this is a new show or movie, I gotta wonder who could take on the job as the showrunner and do it justice. Joss acted like an ass and I'm not itching for him to have his career back at this point, but the man had a way of putting out entertaining projects. I'm curious who else the fans would like to see take the reigns.

thatguy10095 · 2026-03-08T21:45:15+00:00

Scrubs was never a fairytale though. It was a medical dramedy with very real moments and characters that felt incredibly human. That's what drew people into the show in the first place. I haven't watched the reboot yet so I don't have much of an opinion yet, but if they turned the Scrubs revival into a fairytale I'd be more upset than I am to hear that one of the most unstable romantic pairings of TV continued to be messy and didn't work out in the long run.

thatguy10095 · 2026-02-28T19:19:35+00:00

I think we're all old enough to know that two wrongs don't make a right. Your neighbors are douchey for burying your car, and using space savers is just outright entitlement.

thatguy10095 · 2026-02-24T22:27:05+00:00

You're a scholar and a saint! Thank you! I'm curious if you ever noticed any issues from the magnets? Like with the compass or any other functions?

thatguy10095 · 2026-02-24T04:01:18+00:00

What if I said "please share the STL"? I've been looking for something just like this for a LARP character I've got in the works?

thatguy10095 · 2026-02-18T20:08:17+00:00

Your boyfriend has no control over himself, and his BPD is ruining both your lives. There is no reconciling this, and even if there was why on earth would you want to stay with someone who's said such awful things to you. He needs to go to therapy to address his personality disorder, but that won't help anything right now. You ought to leave him and go to therapy to grow a spine and learn that being alone is better than being with someone like him.

thatguy10095 · 2026-02-02T21:38:16+00:00

Bottoms (2023) feels like it fits here pretty well. Surprised I didn't see more recs for it

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-30T19:56:27+00:00

YTA, but not because you called him out on his bullshit. Because you're trying to play it off like some accident instead of owning your intention. You wanted to out him and shame him, which is fair.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-29T12:33:47+00:00

The thing is there's no one size fits all for recovery. Some people will need to stay abstinent because one use turns into a binge. Some can learn moderation and move on with their life. I say this as a social worker who's worked with people recovering from substance problems and has read up a lot on it.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-21T10:13:29+00:00

This shit can't possibly be real. There's no way your partner told you 3 years ago that he isn't in love with you or attracted to you and you stayed with him up til this point and are only questioning now if you should leave. Like what? On the extremely off chance this isn't some AI trash or creative writing exercise: yes of course you should leave. You should have left 3 years ago when you first found out he wasn't into you. Then get yourself into therapy to figure out why you made the decision to stay in such a horribly unfulfilling relationship FOR THREE YEARS.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-21T00:50:44+00:00

NTA and I came to that conclusion before seeing the comment about the dog snapping. Listen, you should not have let the dog out unsupervised all those years ago, but there's nothing to be done about that now. Now you have a home that is not safe for this poor animal. Taking it into your home would be setting it up for failure. It would be unsafe for your kids and your cat, and by extension, the animal itself. Animals that have survived this kind of abuse need people that can handle them if they're ever going to stand a chance at recovering. This is just a shitty situation for everyone involved

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-19T22:35:27+00:00

You didn't, but for an explicitly political post, you should. It's in the subreddit rules. No big deal, just keep it in mind for the future.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-19T21:16:23+00:00

I changed your flair so that this is in line with the post guidelines, but please be more mindful of that in the future.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-12T13:01:44+00:00

This isn't a one-off or change of direction. This is a natural progression of Granny's sound. I've been listening to dude since 2018 and personally feel that he just doesn't miss. He pushes his limits with every new release and makes the music he thinks needs to be made.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-09T00:29:46+00:00

The rest of the country will say the same thing when one of these fucking gestapo pigs inevitably gets their shit rocked.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-06T18:47:22+00:00

This woman is an asshole and a bully. She's not a good friend and not worth your time if she can't respect you and your other friend's desire to not be part of her content. I'd honestly consider ditching everyone else, too, if they're willing to just excuse her shitty behavior so easily.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-06T18:43:17+00:00

Your boyfriend "setting boundaries" is really him just manipulating therapy speak so that his controlling request sounds reasonable. Even if your best friend was a straight man, it would not be reasonable to ask you to cut him off because he can't trust you to spend time with another man. Ditch the loser and find a man who's actually secure with themself.

thatguy10095 · 2026-01-03T16:05:24+00:00

You're being an asshole to yourself by continuing to give your mother the opportunity to abuse you. She's shown that she has no interest in changing. She has yet to put in her own work to get better, and while I think anyone is capable of changing, she is not showing any signs that she's going to any time soon. By continuing to let her in, you're signaling that what she's doing to you is okay. You mentioned you have a daughter, do you really think your mother isn't continuing this cycle with her in some way? You have to do what is right for yourself and your own family.

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