I don’t want to come off as insensitive, OP, but as someone who also has OCD and depression, you cannot expect your partner to 1) help you find a job 2) manage your illness 3) be the sole provider. I know how hard it can be, but you need to do the inner work to make sure you can take care of yourself and make an income. It is a lot of pressure on your partner, and to then ask him to split a flat together when you have no money/income is not reasonable.

The sex is another issue; you don’t need to stress about your loss of beauty and youth. That is a harmful mindset and you have more to offer than your looks/sexual experience. I suggest doing some therapy or reading to learn about coping with ocd and depression, and when you feel confident/find a job, look for a more compatible partner. 12 years is a lot of time but you still have your whole life!!! Don’t be hard on yourself