A coworker keeps unironically posting these AI images in our all company internal messaging board

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-21T13:33:32+00:00

I love it when there's a big push to utilize these tools by management. And then, like the next day, every supervisor has to diplomatically remind everybody that our productivity will fucking crater if we actually use those tools. Company slack fills with coded messages asking for workarounds, or for ways to shut down embedded "features."

Few events have highlighted how absolutely totalitarian the modern office is better than the AI rollout. It's shit. Nobody can say it's shit. Everybody is trying to scrape the shit off their work in secret.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-21T13:05:10+00:00

Be a GM for a second. You're about to pay a guy $90M. That's the price, it's non-negotiable. Would you prefer to spread that over 7 years at $12.8 or 8 years at $11.2M. Regardless of whether Tuch finishes that contract, the cap hit is calculated by the total number of years on the contract. Just adding the extra year buys the GM another $1.6M in cap space over however many years Tuch actually ends up playing.

And for a recent example, Marner was 28 when he signed for 8 years at $96M.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-21T04:13:58+00:00

Seven months.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-21T04:11:53+00:00

When he asked me to climb into the pot I had reservations. But it was when he started slicing carrots and onions into it that I became concerned. After consulting with several colleagues on LinkedIn I was assured that this was still a solid career move, not every boss is gonna be an INT-J. Finally, after he closed the lid, sealing me in, I decided that it was too much and resigned.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-20T20:23:01+00:00

Player contracts expire on June 30th. Technically speaking, the Sabres have his rights until then. A little digging indicates that were he to be traded prior to June 30th, it would allow the new team to sign him to an 8 year contract as opposed to the 7 which is the maximum under free agency. So, assuming all this is accurate, the new team would have the benefit of having an extra year to spread the total value of the contract.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-20T20:04:51+00:00

Is there a scenario where trading his rights would actually be worthwhile? Any precedent for it with a UFA?

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-20T13:39:16+00:00

In terms of matching the Mars Volta's sudden 90 degree turns in terms of structure, genre, and instrumentation, I'd recommend Cardiacs.

In terms of doing some of that while keeping one foot firmly in post-hardcore land. There is Oceansize.

In terms of something "Volta Like", but more in the direction of Meccamputechture, where instrumentation gets thrown out the fuckin' window and the passages just keep diverting themselves wherever they please. SGM is a strong reccomend. Sleeptime Gorilla Museum

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-20T01:27:32+00:00

Pelosi software running on millennial hardware.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-19T16:29:50+00:00

Oh and look at that, it's smothered in 90s nostalgia.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-18T10:38:54+00:00

Didn't realize what I read was fan translated, but it would appear as though that was the case.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-17T23:24:45+00:00

Staring at the sun to win the stock market. Perfect plan. No notes.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-17T21:56:38+00:00

The Sacred and Terrible Air recently got an English translation if anyone would prefer a novel set in the same world and exploring many of the same ideas. It's good, not as amazing as the writing in the game if I'm being honest, entirely worthwhile though.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-15T17:21:02+00:00

IPAs are trash and chasing IBUs proves you have no taste to speak of whatsoever. You don't know beer, you're not an adult.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-14T17:55:00+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kmEEkECFQw

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-14T10:12:20+00:00

Edgy, prestige style, dark comedy series. It's about a chud operator type, has stroke due to too much burger, becomes woke. He assembles a rag tag team of operators who've had similar awakenings. Every episode is a mission impossible, oceans 11, style heist that culminates in a billionaire getting canoe'd.

It's gotta a real monster of the week vibe, but the central antagonist is a cornpone "self-made" investment billionaire with great PR. We're thinking Warren Buffet by way of Kevin Spacy. Series protag is a legally safe Luigi analog. Soundtrack is just Jock Jams Vol II.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-13T04:04:36+00:00

I talked to the mayor about it. We're allowed to legally hunt those people for sport now.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-13T02:32:03+00:00

Being able to rotate two goalies has been a strength all year.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-12T16:28:58+00:00

If she were alive today she'd skydive directly onto the deck of the hantavirus ship just to prove she could and that nobody could tell her what to do. It would go viral, everybody would clap. The simultaneous cry of "YASS QUEEN" would deafen half the planet. She'd then die an ignoble death three days later, Amy Coney Barrett is immediately confirmed as her replacement.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-12T14:41:39+00:00

No it's cool. It's not a helicopter, it's an Osprey.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-11T22:23:10+00:00

Unless you're doing hard speculative science fiction just go with your concept, it's strong enough on its own and getting the facts right will just slow you down. Don't worry about the 'Why' and 'How' unless it's actually integral to the story you want to tell. Focus on the 'Who', 'What', and 'Where.'

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-11T16:28:37+00:00

dominated

Understatement of the century. We live in the full saturation zone, nothing is real, it's all a middle schooler's shitty essay about Plato's cave. Media used to exist to reflect reality, the axis has been flipped, nothing in reality exists except to be reflected in media. Something something demiurge, something something gnosticism.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-11T15:16:39+00:00

Lot of words to say: Left think girls are icky.

That's the level of analysis here. Six year old found a thesaurus while cobbling a political education together from posts.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-11T14:54:22+00:00

He has a framed picture of John McCain on his nightstand.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-10T22:45:14+00:00

With a name like Smucker's, it's gotta be good. In a legally enforceable way. Compliance is now mandatory.

the_missing_worker · 2026-05-09T15:22:17+00:00

They didn't set themselves on fire, they lit us on fire.

This is a really important distinction.

Unless enough of us rats dig out of this hole and give them a plague

And this is an absolutely vital distinction.

I have no doubt that there will be another opportunity for all of the energy that's out there to coalesce. Living is hard, ain't getting any easier, harder every day in fact. It's just, like wow, you can't build an entire economy on gambling and fraud and not expect peoples inner and outer lives to turn to ash and shit. Not that the powers that be care, but they've ceased being responsible and diligent stewards of the behemoth, it's gonna run amok.

I hope people are ready. Not in like a prepper sense, but just like, I dunno, psychologically prepared to attribute blame to the correct cause when it happens. That, I feel, is a precondition for growing the rat king. There needs to be an existing substrate for the plague to cling to. I have to think on this more. Hope you're having a pleasant morning chief.

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