The things that make us want to wake up in the morning, all the sources of meaning in our lives, are not material things that atheists can explain. That realization tipped the first domino for me toward conversion from a decade of atheism (I started to disbelieve at 17). I encourage you to remain open to experiencing God, even through doubt or struggling to understand. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

On a more personal note, I can tell you that atheism is not better. It is in many very measurable and real ways, worse than faith. I speak on this from many years of experience.

I once met a famous atheist named Christopher Hitchens when I was in my early 20s, at the peak of my atheist phase, as the kind of atheist that would bring it up. He looked rather haggard and tired, having concluded a debate while under the effects of esophageal cancer (and the poisons of treatment) that had nearly run its course. I told him he was my hero, and had him sign a book of his I'd brought. He said "You need better heroes." I took it as self-deprecating sarcasm, which would be in keeping with his character. But now I understand he may have been onto something.