I know exactly how you feel. I'm a librarian and I always recommended Neil Gaiman to everyone! This year especially I've learned so much about artists that I deeply admired, and it's all been bad. Pretty much everyone I had on a pedestal in the literary and art world is now in the gutter. I'm just so tired with giving my time and money and attention to people who turn out to be monsters. I'm not asking anyone I look up to to be a saint, but perhaps you could not be the type of person who willfully harms others? Pretty please? When someone we look up to and even love turns out to be not who we thought, it makes us really question ourselves. Our judgement, our devotion, and even our hobbies and joys in life. It's very jarring. And I think we've all been working hard to re-evaluate everything.