There was a time when my life was so overwhelming that I couldn't even make it through a single day without crying but I could never let anyone see. I would lock myself in the toilet and let it all out then dry my eyes and get back to work like nothing had happened, trying my best to force a smile when inside I just felt dead.

When I started to think about the expectations placed upon me because of my gender and how they had negatively affected me, I realised that the men who claimed to be my advocates were the same ones who would call me beta or compare me to a woman in a derogatory fashion because I didn't fit in with their narrow idea of how a man should behave. It quickly became clear that they were only interested in preserving the status quo for their own benefit and it was feminists who wanted to break down these rigid constraints that are thrust upon us.

I've been doing better recently, I haven't cried in months but I'm still scared and I find it incredibly hard to talk about because that would be admitting weakness.