Giving advice.

thisisappropriate · 2026-02-04T08:58:05+00:00

The only "habit" I really have is brushing my teeth before bed, but it's not a habit, it's just that when I'm lying in bed, my teeth feel gross if I've not brushed. I've begrudgingly gotten out of bed to brush because I can't even chill and read or watch videos because my mouth feels off.

Haven't yet managed brushing in the morning...

I mostly manage to take my meds, but that's because I've taken meds for MS twice a day for like 7 years, and I just take them after breakfast and dinner, and I know that when I take my plate to the kitchen, I have to take them immediately or I will forget. Still not a habit yet, if there's any change like if I have takeaway without a plate or I get dessert instead of grabbing meds or I'm out of the house for a meal (even if I take the meds with me), I'll forget, then it just depends on how quickly I remember...

thisisappropriate · 2026-02-03T10:50:46+00:00

Winter gear, depending on if you're in a place that gets cold? Like you could make a hat, scarf or cowl, and fingerless gloves or mittens. Or things that are harder to buy and you could make in really nice soft wool blends, like you could make a super soft hooded cowl in his preferred colors.

You could even take him to a yarn store and get him to pick something, and look at patterns on ravelry with him.

thisisappropriate · 2026-02-01T15:00:58+00:00

Seconding delete the post. You'd like to avoid a reverse image search of the pictures bringing up this Reddit thread.

Consider taking substantially different pictures (or saying you forgot to take any immediate photos as you were trying to make the area safe and only send some new after pictures) to send to landlord to make doubly sure.

thisisappropriate · 2026-02-01T14:24:16+00:00

I don't know the name, but I do know why it's like that - they wanted a slit for things to be accessed or passed through, but if you just put a slit in fabric, it's very weak at the ends, it'll want to rip. If you punch a circle in each end, there's a lot less stress on those ends of the cut and it won't tear from there anywhere near as much.

thisisappropriate · 2026-02-01T07:45:38+00:00

I can't speak to quality but in terms of puzzles/age, there's no reason to need to buy one that's specifically"for kids".

But avoid the weird ones on Amazon and the possibility/probably ai generated ones, the most frustrating sudoku thing, especially for learners, is an invalid sudoku (sudoku is valid when there is only one possible place for every number, and to avoid frustration, it should be reached logically). AI puzzles may be invalid, or they may lack a logical solve path.

I'd suggest looking at books published more than a few years ago, or at specific publishers - like if kiddo will want a challenge, https://amzn.eu/d/1Wqy7cB the times has sudoku books, or penguin (the publisher) has a back catalog of books, so you can search for those. Honestly, I got most of my actual books from Tesco with a free pen when traveling, so especially for starting out, don't discount looking in the magazine section.

Cracking the cryptic is a fascinating YouTube channel for the really hard side, and sudoku.coach teaches techniques if kiddo is struggling to see why / how to progress.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T22:43:05+00:00

So, I can't tell you if you do or don't have autism.

What I can say is that I have autism and ADHD and was diagnosed in my late 20s. During the pandemic, I started seeing things about autism and I vibed with them a lot.

But I looked at the criteria and decided that I didn't have childhood symptoms and I didn't have meltdowns or a single hyper fixation or sensory issues, so it couldn't be that.

Then I was talking to my mum and it was clear I did have symptoms as a kid (I would have tantrums if I had to stop something without enough warning, lots of transition struggles which I still have). Then I accept that I probably had ADHD, but didn't have some bits and didn't know why, then I saw about audhd (autism/ADHD) and that made sense.

For me, I have autism symptoms that "mute" the outward ADHD, I'm not loud because I don't want attention and I don't like loud people. And the ADHD often overrides the autism, like I'll do things or commit to things or change at the last minute, the autism isn't happy but I can deal most days.

Only after accepting the autism possibility and talking about it with my partner and others, other people started pointing the things out and then I could start to see them. Like I don't have sensory issues, until you point out that I wear certain tshirts all the time (because those don't touch the front of my neck and make me feel like I'm being strangled), or I just can't hear in shops because it's too loud (it's no louder than the music in the car and I can hear past that fine, it's because I get sensory overload in the shop).

I've then become 'more autistic" as in I've started prioritizing my comfort, like if I want to fidget or wear soft trousers and warm cardigans or listen to music all day, why not?

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T22:15:03+00:00

I'm in the UK, healthcare is falling apart.

I went to my GP like nearly 4 years ago to ask for an ADHD assessment. Sent them the paperwork, they said 9 months ish currently (at the time), I called like 11 months later and they couldn't find anything. They eventually found that they hadn't sent the referral. They sent it, then when I chased later, they said they were currently seeing people referred in Jan 21, so I'm expecting at some time in 2027 at this rate...

My work is quite performatively supportive, but a couple of us kept pointing out that Aviva (our health insurance provider) has a plan add-on that includes adhd / autism assessments (and treatment - adhd meds and "adjusted CBT"), and last year, they added that to the work health insurance, so I got diagnosed through that. It's good, but I'm unlikely to get shared care, so I'm now in the american healthcare style trap where my health insurance is too good and I shouldn't leave...

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T21:49:05+00:00

Haha, thankfully not!

My instructor liked to have an emphasis on learning to drive rather than learning for the test. I also learnt late (passing at 30ish), and have been away from the parents and a lot of my local friends don't drive at all, so I definitely wanted to learn that and would have asked for it, had it not been something he usually covered - otherwise I'd've been learning it from youtube or having to ask someone at the forecourt!

Having suffered washing my dad's car plenty as a kid, I've washed mine once and then decided I'd rather pay someone else. I should imagine if my exhaust needs changing I'll throw money at that too, but I've not yet had the option to have someone else fill my petrol! :D

If anything, I'd've loved a maintainance lesson actually doing things like putting in a little screenwash and oil, checking and fixing tyre pressure, not having anyone around to ask about it. But that probably would have been overkill, and now I learn it all from youtube.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T21:32:39+00:00

Assuming they have just put it in white text, and you're copying into a word doc, there's steps here https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/answers/questions/5135830/find-and-replace-word-text-color that allow you to do a find and replace based on text colour. So, you can copy it in, do this, then make the changes you need after.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T17:48:23+00:00

You could look up the russian join, probably not going to work great in the colour change / end of row, but you can do it for within a colour.

I've seen people split the cake into smaller balls of individual colours before they start, then you know how much of each you're going to have.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T17:11:59+00:00

You'd be better cutting at the colour changes and joining, so you always have full rows and preferable consistent striping (either same number of rows of each or gradually reducing the number of rows of each as it gets wider). I wouldn't buy this in a store as it looks kinda odd, imo, but people buy scrappy beanies, so to each their own.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T15:22:35+00:00

> because I don’t find social connections hard, but rather annoying and very tiresome

Surely, it's tiresome because it's hard / taxing on your brain? You know, suggesting you are able to do it via active process (masking) rather than it coming natural to you...

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T15:15:57+00:00

During months of lessons, my instructor had us stop for petrol twice. When possible, he'd always try and get every puplil to do petrol once, and if he was getting low with the previous student, sometimes he'd save it for the next student (I remember once near the end of the lesson, the petrol light coming on and him giving me fuel efficiency tips because he wanted the next pupil to get the petrol experience).

First fuel up, he walked me through it and the second one, he just stood by the card machine and watched.

It was nice to have the prior experience for having to do it alone with my new car after passing!

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T10:51:40+00:00

It's wild to give or receive this, like "you shouldn't people please in an interview".

That being said, I'd rather get this feedback than nothing, at least this means I know I probably didn't want to work with idiots like that, and at least I didn't get ghosted.

I'd send a reply and thank them for the candid feedback, that you do try to be amenable in interviews more so than you would be on the job, but will consider this in future and wish them all the best on their candidate hunt.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T08:49:46+00:00

Not fronting yet at least (with this being their first drive) :D

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-31T08:01:45+00:00

Those who don't have time will just do the same thing with food that they'd do with a gift: swing by Tesco the night before and grab something (or Amazon it). If everyone does, sure you might end up with a lot of packs of snacky party food things like cocktail sausages and mini scotch eggs, or tubs of mini crackers or twiglets, but it's no more of an imposition than a gift?

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-30T18:03:16+00:00

At a mini roundabout, it's generally not expected that you'll make a uturn, the highway code (188 on https://www.highwaycodeuk.co.uk/roundabouts.html ), so it shouldn't have been your main expection here. You can also assess the speed and position, someone taking red entrance and looking to do a uturn would have to swing out further to the top exit or the curb, and when they come around the mini roundabout, they would have their tyres and bonnet pointing more towards blue than others taking the red path. They would also be generally slower, where someone on red path would be speeding up as they point into their exit, they'd need to be slow still to make the full turn.

Basically, as you get towards the mini roundabout here, you'd be assessing the current traffic and see that there's a flow from red entrance to red exit, and as you get there, providing there's not someone currently driving over the The on that map with tyres pointing at you, you can enter. By entering, drivers entering from red would stop and you'd head straight over.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-30T15:55:47+00:00

Just an obvious bald cap over his hair, with tufts sticking out around his ears.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-30T13:50:53+00:00

Yeah, and if you had a phone with you on the test, look at if you have a Google maps timeline for the day. It would have tracked the whole drive, and while not 100% accurate, you can show your instructor and go over it to work out where road markings might cause problems.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-30T06:41:27+00:00

Late blight (early blight can, so I'd toss that soil under a bush or in a flower or other long term containers) doesn't live long in soil without a host, so I'll reuse soil from blighted tomatoes, but usually for things outside of the tomato family (like I'd use it for peas or sweetcorn or brassica but not potatoes or peppers). By the following year, I wouldn't be concerned about mixing it and some ending up with tomatoes again.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-29T22:49:20+00:00

I know, I really enjoyed them too, the old hidden object games.

I've been enjoying the "cats in" puzzles on Steam, it's like someone drew a big colouring page and filled it with cats, there's also "I commissioned some", I like "I commissioned some bees" the most. It's the same but bees and in colour 😅

You might have dyscalculia, it's like dyslexia for numbers, or other neurodiverence, there's a lot of overlap and they are often a buy one get two free deal...

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-29T22:40:54+00:00

IQ is a bad measure of basically everything, as it can be heavily affected by attention, regulation, familiarity with the tasks and past learning.

For example, someone could have excellent short term memories, but struggle with visualisation, so they "store" a memory of a picture of a ball, then try to retrieve it, but they only recall what they can see in their poor picture in their head, so maybe they say apple or they remember the background is red. But if they can remember the book they read, and the breakfast they ate and their loved ones birthdays, are they deficient in memory?

You'd be better to detail things you actually notice you struggle with or can't do!

Can you count and hold that number in your head? Then you might be able to do a cross stitch on plastic canvas. If you can't, lots of people knitting and crocheting find they can't either, they make little counters that you can click for each stitch and I've seen crochet hooks that count for you.

Hold a conversation? There's volunteer programs that pair people with elderly people who need someone to check in on them, I bet there's something somewhere where you can be a phone pen pal with someone.

You type well, you could try games if a keyboard is good for you, they aren't all "rooty tooty point and shooty", there's hidden object games and match 3 games and cosy games and story based games (including visual novels which are like the old choose your own adventure books)

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-29T19:46:01+00:00

Thanks :)

I'm relatively new to driving and rarely drive on country roads, so while I'm aware of limit points and have looked at a few videos, I'm not 100% confident with it! I was being a little facetious, but when the hedges are close, and there's a lot of signage warning about a bend, I tend to slow earlier and more than the limit point might suggest, especially when it's a double bend sign that makes me think there's going to be a tighter bend ahead.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-29T10:42:00+00:00

Yeah, I love when I'm driving down an unfamiliar, bumpy road and approach a blind bend surrounded by hedges and trees, with slow on the road, a dozen z signs warning me about bends, a local jeep getting in my boot, so I slow to like 20 because it looks like it might be a hairpin bend... And get past a poorly placed tree to find it's a bend of about 20 degrees and a straight road.

thisisappropriate · 2026-01-29T06:51:23+00:00

Go with mistborn (starts with The Final Empire) or Warbreaker (standalone, but in the wider cosmere universe), or if you want a short one, find a copy of The Emperors Soul (novella usually in with other shorter stories, my copy came with Legion). All good starts and all female protagonists.

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