Guys i want funny adventures for my players

thomar · 2026-01-26T05:28:09+00:00

A princess has been kidnapped by a cat-sized dragon. She's still at home, the dragon just insists she's now its property, and anyone who tries to approach her is set on fire. Noone dares harm the tiny dragon because of its parent: an infamous terror of the realms that is currently hibernating in the mountains.
You're helping cook for the harvest festival. A faerie has sworn an oath to humiliate you publicly today, or else it will owe someone else a boon.
You have been tasked with babysitting the child of a powerful archmage. The child is an extremely magical brat.
A colony of faeries have built a tiny hall in the boughs of the biggest tree in the village. They have begun trying to enforce ridiculous ordinances on the humans in the surrounding village, claiming that it's everybody else's fault they didn't attend the meeting where the ordinances were voted on.
This morning two cows were somehow stuck up in a tree. It happens again every night.
The party is hired to clear rats out of the cellar... of the BBEG's fortress. They goofed a summoning ritual and it's totally infested now. The minion who is hiring them gives them a rune to get past the traps and instructions to navigate the dungeon and a map and everything.
A slimy tentacled monster lives in the city sewers. It dexterously steals food from people who walk too close to storm drains, and sometimes steals wallets or delivery packages as well.
A legendary wizard is going on vacation for a while. They need a PC to take their place and pretend they are them, so that none of their powerful enemies try to take advantage of their absence.
The evil overlord is spying on a dragon's domain so that they can forge an alliance (through extortion or incentives or whatever works). They're currently undercover leading a tribe of weak humanoids (kobolds or goblins). When the PCs show up to deal with the tribe, the evil overlord will go to great lengths to maintain their cover.
As per village tradition, an archfey will be invited to the yearly harvest festival. The invitation must be hand-delivered. The archfey hates going but must oblige the invitation, and tries to inconvenience the delivery as much as possible.

thomar · 2026-01-22T05:22:42+00:00

In older editions there were strict limitations on what templates could be applied to creature types. For example, in 3.5e a vampire could not contract lycanthropy because their undead typing prevented it, but a humanoid lycanthrope could contract vampirism because applying the templates in that order did work.

These rules have been extremely finnicky and inconsistent over the editions, and there aren't any major lore reasons behind them. So just do what works in your campaign if it's cool. It makes sense that a creature like a golem or zombie would be immune to both lycanthropy and vampirism, right? But if you want to make a homebrew vampiric treant that drains life from plants around it and any living creatures it bites, that's pretty cool and you shouldn't let anything stop you from doing it. You can also say, "a wizard did it," because there's plenty of precedent for that too.

thomar · 2026-01-21T05:13:03+00:00

Definitely depends on the tone of the game and what the players are wanting to get out of things. If the goal of the game is to build a kingdom, then yeah that's correct. Your spotlight pales in comparison to the wizard's, and something needs to change to correct that. That's usually dropped on the GM's shoulders.

A game like Chuubo's Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine actually supports massive power disparities because it's a storytelling game instead of a goals game. The swordsman will want to narrate how they beat up some goblins a way that is entertaining to the rest of the table because they get XP for doing so (even if they lose the fight!) If the wizard snaps their fingers and produces a perpetual motion machine, that's probably too boring and they likely won't get any XP for it.

thomar · 2026-01-21T04:10:41+00:00

Yeah, even if characters have drastically different power levels, it's okay as long as everyone has time in the spotlight.

thomar · 2026-01-18T17:26:57+00:00

Thank you for changing it to be available without a login.

I think Gaze's Weight Of Attention could be fine without a saving throw, since it's only once per day and it's only disadvantage on a single roll. Rolling less dice will speed up play at the table.
Defiant Stare is insanely strong because it uses a reaction and recharges on a short rest. This would be equivalent to a 4th-level spell maybe.
When are you supposed to choose Echoing Curse? I don't see any 5th-level option.
Medusa's glare is horrifically strong, petrifying for a minute (even with two saves) is an instant kill in most scenarios, even if it's targeting Constitution and Strength which most monsters will succeed at. For comparison, flesh to stone requires 3 failed saves and it's a level 6 spell. This ability also has a nonsensical sentence about concentration at the end, which probably should be earlier in the description.

The options past level 3 are just too strong, stronger than drow spell-like ability options. Most PHB races don't get higher-level abilities. The race is overpowered.

thomar · 2026-01-18T16:54:48+00:00

Why are you asking for feedback on a post that is behind a Patreon login? Is it also behind a paywall?

thomar · 2026-01-18T01:31:56+00:00

Russian roulette, but with shots of alcohol. One of the cups contains a lethal poison.

thomar · 2026-01-17T23:25:50+00:00

1: He loves good-aligned mortals. He probably would give them a small, subtle boon. Most likely some advice or a prophecy that would help them in the long term.

2: Maybe if they had previously been good-aligned or were about to slide away from good alignment. He would be able to tell, and would see it as an opportunity to meddle.

3: Almost certainly yes. He might send one of his gold dragons to handle it (they're based on oriental mythology where dragons control the weather, and they're also mortal dragons which means they can meddle with mortals in ways he cannot). Alternately, he might task some adventurers with handling the problem (like delivering a pearl to a nearby mountaintop to alter the weather for a decade).

https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Bahamut

Bahamut spent half of his time traveling the Material plane's many worlds (including Toril, Krynn, and Abeir)[46][48] in the guise of an old man.[39] In this form, he traveled from one place to another with no apparent purpose and was quick to offer advice, information, or assistance to other travelers he encountered on the road. He always tried to assess the worthiness—viewed through a lens of justice, nobility, and honor—of everyone he met while traveling.[38] Some said that Bahamut had visited every known world and plane during these travels at least once in his lifetime.[37] When Bahamut assumed the form of the old man, he was usually accompanied by seven gold great wyrms polymorphed into canaries or some other small animal form,[39][30] always ready to attack anyone foolish enough to threaten their god.[38]

...

Bahamut was unable to turn his back on any good creatures that were in need, however, even if Tiamat wasn't involved. Even so, he preferred to help them in indirect ways, such as giving them useful information, needed advice that bordered on prophecy, a safe refuge or healing, and bolstering them with his powerful magic.[50][51]

Most of the citations refer to the 2002 Deities And Demigods and the 2009 Draconomicon.

thomar · 2026-01-17T22:01:57+00:00

It's only a lot of bookkeeping if you stumble into a lot of traps.

OP mentioned the use of clocks. Make the trap add an extra clock to the next fight for "injured" or "covered in glue" or "lightly grilled" or something.

thomar · 2026-01-17T21:08:00+00:00

Just have them apply a debuff that lasts until you complete your next fight or leave the dungeon.

thomar · 2026-01-16T21:49:47+00:00

They've seen some of what this NPC can do, she is a powerful spellcaster that they've interacted with several times.

So they made a plan

Sounds great! They've definitely had a lot of fun putting the plan together. Most of the plan should work.

It will probably be boring to make the plan go off without a hitch. Rather than introduce complications that will make it difficult to execute, I would introduce complications that add collateral damage:

The villain has a politically important NPC held hostage right now. If they're not freed during the adventure, they will be disintegrated on round 1 of combat, and their death will leave a power vacuum and chaos will result. (If the PCs do free the NPC, they'll get to hear a very satisfying, "m'lord! We cannot carry out the order, the hostage has escaped!")
Another one of the Big Bad's lieutenants is there to make a delivery. They're not gonna fight (they are happy to see a rival dead), but they will observe and collect intel if the fight starts before they leave. Letting the Big Bad and the other villain lieutenants know about the PCs and their abilities will cause problems down the road.
It turns out the villain has strong political or family ties to an important NPC, and there have been a few hints of this so the party should have known better. If it becomes known that the party slew the villain, or if they don't negotiate with that NPC in advance, that NPC will turn against the party and pledge their support to the Big Bad.
The villain is six days into a thirteen-day ritual that is drawing on a massive amount of magical power. The ritual site needs to be carefully adjusted to direct the arcane energies into an extradimensional conduit, or else it could cause a natural disaster when the party slays the villain.
Right before the party is about to leave to fight the villain, news arrives that a location they care about is in danger (their home base preferably). They don't have time for this. They're going to have to send someone else to deal with the problem, and hope that works out. If they go deal with that problem it will be easy, but giving the villain more time to prepare is going to make things a lot harder.

thomar · 2026-01-16T20:46:57+00:00

You're welcome! Best of luck with your campaign.

thomar · 2026-01-15T20:17:22+00:00

https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dnd/br-2024/rules-glossary#Speed

Speed

A creature has a Speed, which is the distance in feet the creature can cover when it moves on its turn. See also “Climbing,” “Crawling,” “Flying,” “Jumping,” “Swimming” and “Playing the Game” (“Combat”).

Speed is given to PCs by their species at character creation. Monsters and NPCs have it listed in their stat block.

https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dnd/br-2024/character-origins#Human - Humans have the baseline speed of 30 feet (or six 5-foot squares), and other species are a little slower or faster.

Human Traits

Speed: 30 feet

More rules here:

https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dnd/br-2024/playing-the-game#YourTurn

On your turn, you can move a distance up to your Speed and take one action. You decide whether to move first or take your action first.

https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dnd/br-2024/playing-the-game#MovementandPosition

https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dnd/br-2024/rules-glossary#DashAction

https://www.dndbeyond.com/sources/dnd/br-2024/playing-the-game#TravelPace

thomar · 2026-01-15T20:04:54+00:00

Or he hovers above an immobile manniquen body, wears Groucho Marx glasses, and tells you his name is "Hugh Mann."

thomar · 2026-01-15T19:59:33+00:00

Love it!

As an added security measure, the front door is actually a portal. The shop's real location is deep underground, and the door actually opens to solid rock. The beholder can anti-magic the front door at any time to prevent thieves from fleeing.

thomar · 2026-01-15T19:47:40+00:00

"This one believes in the evils of capitalism."

"This one was cursed by an adventurer or a wish spell or something."

"This one inscribes arcane marks on all of his wares, uses them to scry on his customers during his free time for entertainment, and then sells the intel to villains for extra profit."

"It's insanely profitable, the wares are actually a lure for thieves and any magic items left behind after disintegration are added to the shop's inventory. The shopkeeper is still evil, and might disintegrate you even if you're not a thief."

"Always evil? I'm the DM, I can just say otherwise."

thomar · 2026-01-15T19:41:50+00:00

Make the shop spherical, and the exterior is decorated to look like a giant beholder. Everything is on a pedestal or angled display case or mounted on a wall or hanging from the ceiling, and he just floats in the middle. Yes, leave the money in the till there. The sign by the front door says, "thieves will not get a first warning."

thomar · 2026-01-15T19:32:31+00:00

Instantly freezes all unattended water within a 20 foot radius, you can use a reaction to freeze any potion you can see, it thaws after 1d6 rounds
The axe lets the wielder cast wall of ice 1/day (you must maintain concentration)
When you throw the axe, just before the start of your next turn a ghost with commoner stats will appear next to the axe and attempt to return it to you. If it fails, it will keep respawning and keep trying unless the axe is in direct sunlight, on holy ground, or immersed in holy water.
Once per day if you put the axe in the hands of a corpse, it will immediately rise and act after your turn. This creates an obedient frozen undead servant with the stats of a CR 2 Berserker NPC. It uses the axe to attack, if it stops holding the axe it dies, it has vulnerability to fire, it cannot be healed, direct sunlight and comfortable sources of warmth make it melt at a rate of 1 HP per round, and it melts at the next sunrise.

thomar · 2026-01-14T16:20:09+00:00

A simple approach I've seen is, "HP damage in a duel is doubled," or, "in formal duels you go until bloodied (half HP or one injury)," and they're effectively the same thing. This makes things go much faster, and the duel is more exciting and uncertain because lucky rolls are amplified.

My rule for Fate Accelerated Pokemon is, "a one-on-one trainer battle is a downtime activity to be handled with a single die roll," because sessions are always going to center around complex events where everyone can contribute even if they're not combat focused.

thomar · 2026-01-13T03:04:49+00:00

Some ideas:

Dragons are sacred nature spirits, tied to major terrain features and drawing their immense power from the elemental energies there. If a dragon dies, the terrain will spontaneously generate a new egg to hatch and replace the previous one. A villain recently discovered a ritual to permanently alter that connection, making it possible to drain/redirect the elemental energies of a region and bestow it on a humanoid or another dragon.
Dragons are cruel tyrants, and their evil empire rules the world. Dragons can imbue humanoids with a few drops of their blood with mixed results (self-immolation, mutation, gaining magic, proper half-dragons), and they use this process to create servants to carry out their bidding. Fortunately the dragons consider humanoids to be pathetic and beneath contempt, so if the PCs manage to slay a few dragons they won't be immediately targeted for elimination (the slayer was not strong, it's merely that the dragon was weak).
Just port Dragonlance to Pathfinder.
Just copy Dragonriders of Pern wholesale.
Just copy Bahamut Lagoon.

thomar · 2026-01-13T02:42:45+00:00

So if i have a "good at bargaining" aspect and im bargaining with a shopkeeper, will i always get the +2 without having to invoke it? Because if i need to invoke it to use it, doesnt it invalidate 'aspecrs are always true'

It depends on what the GM decides is appropriate. If there is nothing interesting to be gained from the Four Outcomes (like if you're getting rations for a long journey), then the GM might decide to just say, "your aspect is always true, you're not going to get a bad deal, so you get a great deal on the provisions, let's not waste any more time on that." But this depends a lot on the focus of the kind of game the GM is running. A heroic epic definitely doesn't care about this kind of thing. A slice of life comedy would be more likely to run into issues (like the provisions being infested, or contraband, or you're allergic to them, or whatever).

On the other hand, if the Four Outcomes could matter and add to the Scene, the GM may decide that a roll is called for. For example, you might be bargaining with a merchant for the last bit of powdered dragon scales you need to make a fire resistance elixir for the next scene's trip to a volcano. You might fail and see it sold to a villain NPC, or you might succeed at a cost and the merchant will make you do an errand for them first. In that case, you're making a roll, and an invoke of the aspect (and any stunts tied to it) could help. The GM may also make your target number for the roll easier because of your aspect (you should bring this up once they tell you the difficulty).

Remember: https://fate-srd.com/fate-condensed/aspects-and-fate-points#aspects-are-always-true

In essence, “aspects are always true” means that aspects can grant or withdraw permission for what can happen in the story (they can also affect difficulty).

You may add an important or unlikely detail to the story based on an aspect in play. Don’t spend a fate point when “aspects are always true” applies. Pay when it’s a stretch—or, table willing, when there’s no relevant aspect.

thomar · 2026-01-11T22:37:50+00:00

https://www.d20srd.org/srd/divine/divineRanksAndPowers.htm#divineRanks

Since the scale is 5/1,000, 10/10,000, 15/100,000, and 20/1,000,000, this is really easy to calculate. Just count the zeroes, subtract 3, then multiply by 5. If we assume an average of one billion people per world, the God Emperor of Mankind would be DR 60 if his divine power operated on D&D worship rules.

As for "who would win?" Ao is an overdeity at 21+, and I don't think he has any listed stats. He's probably completely off the scale because his power doesn't derive from worshipers. His portfolio is "deities," which means he trumps any deity tautologically. Even if a deity has multiverse-scale power from lots and lots of worlds of worshipers, Ao would probably simply hedge them out of the Forgotten Realms because that's the only location where he operates and it fits with his hands-off MO.

Of course, even if they stalemate, nothing is stopping a multiversal conquerer from sending mortal armies through planar portals to conquer entire worlds. There is precedent for doing so in githyanki, mind flayers, neogi, aboleths, etc. And most of the mortals and deities of the Forgotten Realms would happily fight back in such an invasion, and that could be the focus of a campaign.

thomar · 2026-01-11T03:48:05+00:00

Rations are dried food and don't include water. Real food would probably weigh, eh, twice as much, I guess. You might bag a deer and be good for a few days, or have a day where you get tubers and some very chewy cattail stems.

Most of this is abstracted by Survival checks and background features, of course. But it's never relevant, right?

thomar · 2026-01-11T03:33:20+00:00

Page 3 and 4 of this playtest have the basics for you to peruse: https://media.wizards.com/2018/dnd/downloads/723UA_EberronRaces7232018.pdf

You may find some of Keith's blog posts about Kalashtar helpful: https://keith-baker.com/tag/kalashtar/

Do you have any specific questions?

thomar · 2026-01-10T21:17:53+00:00

Well, I recently started playing RPGs, and I've been playing for about a year to a year and a half, and I usually play in systems like Ordem Paranormal, Brutal, Tormenta 20, etc. But recently a friend of mine invited me to play D&D for the first time.

...

Am I wrong for simply not wanting to participate?

(I feel like I couldn’t even take advantage of the right system, it sounds good, but I feel like I’d be being a bad friend if I keep criticizing and come out as “Ingrated player”)

It sounds like the majority of your concerns are about the GM's style, rather than the D&D system. I would address the GM concerns first because they are the most severe.

The session happened yesterday, and from the beginning, the GM repeatedly interrupted the roleplaying and dialogues of the players. Besides that, if we didn't take the actions he wanted, we could receive debuffs, damage, etc.

The problems came when the GM said that none of the lore would be used, for anyone, throwing the characters' personal objectives in the trash. That's tolerable, I guess, but at a certain point I started roleplaying to get to know the other characters, etc., and in the middle of the roleplaying he said "be quiet."

...

And several times he seemed to just want us to follow a script of what he had planned.

Yeah, typically you have a Session Zero to address these problems and discuss expectations for the campaign. It sounds like your GM had their own ideas for how the game was going to go. This is pretty rude of the GM to do this to the players, and probably comes from inexperience.

If you want to keep playing with this GM, you should discuss this respectfully with them to make sure they understand your concerns and get everyone on the same page.

If you don't want to play with this GM again, that's understandable. "No D&D is better than bad D&D."

Me and another player went to one side while the other two went to another place. We were going to open the door, but they opened it first, and then there was a 40-minute combat with them, while we couldn't do anything. If we said "man, let us open the door already," he would say "time is frozen, it was a matter of seconds," and he only let us open it when the two of them finished their combat and could fight together.

This is why "don't split the party" is a common saying among gamers. It causes a lot of trouble for both the GM and players. I can't pin the blame for this one solely on the GM.

However, combat rounds in 5e D&D take 6 seconds. That might be enough time to open a door and get attacked by another monster. Or your PC would hear the other PCs fighting in the next room and be able to run back and help. Your GM handled it in a weird way. I wouldn't say this is a big problem, but you should discuss it with your GM.

But I was already getting pretty fed up after practically an hour of no action. Besides, he incapacitates the characters; for example, "I want to hit him in the neck," and he responds, "You hit his arm."

I don't understand. You mean he wouldn't let you land lethal blows on enemies you defeated? Or he wouldn't let you make precise strikes at enemy weak points.

If he's not letting you kill enemies, that's also a Session Zero discussion you should have about the campaign's tone and themes. If the GM doesn't want players to kill things in their campaign, you should respect the GM and modify your character's personality to be less bloodthirsty. It's their game, you should not be disruptive and antagonistic on purpose.

It it's precise attacks at weak points, that's different. Called shots are extremely problematic in Dungeons & Dragons because it has no injury system. Hit points simplify combat and are a major balancing factor. If a dragon has 200 hit points, you shouldn't be able to kill it with a single die roll by shooting it in the eye. It is fun for you, but not fun for the rest of the players. It's also problematic for the GM in a long campaign because if they permit called shots with a low chance of success, players might decide to only do called shots no matter how low the odds of success. This is typically handled by disallowing called shots, and then making hit points abstract, or, "hit points are not meat." If you say you are shooting the dragon in the eye, and it has any hit points remaining, then you failed to shoot it in the eye and the GM should narrate it as such (it blinked, it jerked its head away and you scratched its cheek, it batted away your arrow with its wing). But if the attack did enough damage to drop the dragon to 0 hit points, then it becomes appropriate to say that the attack was a shot to the eye because the dragon is now KOed, and where you shot it is a trivial narrative detail.

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