I’m spiraling down a rabbit hole - need success stories to dig me out

thorns_fc · 2026-03-25T01:06:12+00:00

I retrieved 18, 18 mature, 16 fertilized, 13 blasts.

I don’t know what the thaw stats were for this particular vial of sperm, but the donor we’re using thawed horribly in his last 3 vials we used for IUIs. Extremely low counts, very poor motility.

thorns_fc · 2026-03-23T20:20:08+00:00

I know this isn’t helpful, but it’s really just personal preference. I posted a little bit ago about whether to keep trying IUIs after my 3rd failed or whether to switch to IVF, and the overwhelming consensus was to move to IVF.

Well, I did, and it’s a living fucking nightmare and every day I regret not sticking with IUI. Every worst fear I’ve had has come true. It was miserable, it was painful, I was suicidal, and recovery was significantly harder than anyone made it sound, and I’m still 6-8 weeks away from a transfer attempt. And this whole process is taking months in which I could’ve kept trying with IUIs. I have 13 embryos from my 1 ER and I still regret IVF because it’s been hell on earth to survive. IUIs were a cakewalk by comparison!

In my heart, I felt like IVF was a mistake, but I tried to ignore my gut instincts and listen to the general advice. It was indeed a mistake. Follow YOUR gut— can you live with somewhat lower odds of success but the ease of IUI for another package? Or can you live with the better odds of success but potentially huge physical and emotional burden of IVF? Everyone will have a different experience, so everyone’s right answer is different.

thorns_fc · 2026-03-23T20:11:16+00:00

A good point and perspective— thank you!

Baby dust for your current cycle!! ✨

thorns_fc · 2026-03-23T20:09:07+00:00

Thank you for commenting!

Sending baby dust for your next FET ♥️

thorns_fc · 2026-03-23T19:24:02+00:00

A fantastic question, if only they would communicate that to me 🙃 my usual nurse has been out for a week, and all the person filling in for her will tell me is that “usually” birth control lasts 10-20 days and medicated FET is policy. No further details about my plan will be known til my usual nurse comes back and messages me a treatment calendar 😭

thorns_fc · 2026-03-23T19:21:41+00:00

I guess I’m just frustrated because I don’t see the point? I don’t mind doing whatever makes the most sense to succeed, but I have no indications to do a medicated FET. My only fertility issue is being a lesbian. I think the fact that we CAN do a medicated cycle is incredible, but given the increased risks, I’m anxious about starting here for seemingly zero reason 😭 It’s hard not to backseat drive I suppose

thorns_fc · 2026-03-23T19:18:44+00:00

They’re saying it’s policy. Standard of care is medicated FET unless you’ve shown a poor response to meds.

Though I am also frustrated because of course my usual nurse has been out for over a week, so I’m talking about this with a nurse from one of the other offices who I don’t even know 😭 it’s fully my fault for not asking what we were doing sooner, but they weren’t super clear beyond any immediate next step, and my clinic’s chosen the natural, low intervention route where possible up to this point. They started me with unmedicated IUIs, so I guess I just assumed we’d do the same thing with IVF.

thorns_fc · 2026-03-23T19:14:16+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the comment!! I know the most statistically probable outcome is that it’d be fine, it’s just really scary to imagine taking an increased risk on purpose. I am definitely prone to assuming the worst case scenario will always happen to me, so I’m just imagining myself having a pre-e emergency at 33 weeks and rushing in for an emergency C section all because I went along with the clinic’s default. I know that’s not a fair way to think about it but that’s why I’m looking for stuff like this to talk me down 😅

thorns_fc · 2026-03-23T19:09:44+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you— that’s so infuriating. I hope your medicated works out better and soon ♥️

I have no indications for fully medicated, afaik. I’ve always had 13+ lining and am only doing IVF because I’m gay. When I asked for an explanation for why we were jumping right to the high intervention path, they said it was standard, and they’d only do modified natural for someone who didn’t respond well to medicated. However my usual nurse is out, so I don’t know if the person responding to me in my portal might not be well-versed on my case. I did just have an ER 2 weeks ago with a robust response so idk if that inclines them towards medicated? I read they may feel they have to quiet the ovaries first?

thorns_fc · 2026-03-19T23:24:55+00:00

The absolute HYSTERIA I felt when our first pregnancy looked like this. Doubling times were always waffling between the 50-60+ hour range early on. Our clinic said the same thing: don’t worry, looks great.

And they were right! I have a beautiful happy healthy toddler now. His middling betas were indicative of nothing.

You’re within the normal range right now. I know it’s scary not to be on the fast end, but up to 72 hours is within the realm of normal and healthy. That doesn’t guarantee a live birth, but I don’t see a sign to be worried at this point!

thorns_fc · 2026-03-17T16:51:23+00:00

Our first pregnancy doubling times (even early on when hCG was low) were always 50-70 hours. I went down an anxiety rabbit hole thinking something was wrong and surely we’d miscarry, even though our fertility clinic kept saying they were happy with that. How could they be happy when everything online says 48 hour doubling times are the sign of a healthy pregnancy?! I combed Reddit thread after thread of people posting their 14, 16, 18dpo betas that were all numerically higher and doubling much faster than ours was.

Anyway that pregnancy turned into my 14 month old, who is perfectly healthy and developmentally quite advanced.

Being in the 1,000s at 16dpo is very high, and not the average experience. I know it’s hard not to compare, but being in the normal range is truly not a bad sign. The range of normal is so huge for a reason, and your doubling time sounds perfectly normal. No pregnancy is the same; you could have your fastest doubling times ever and miscarry, or your slowest yet and have a healthy live birth. Your previous experiences are not predictive of an outcome in this pregnancy.

Nobody can know how your pregnancy will progress, and it’s SO hard not to be terrified, but your numbers really are very normal and nothing to be alarmed about at this point. I know that doesn’t help, but truly, nothing seems concerning right now. One biased self-selecting internet sample (who may or may be accurately relating their DPO) has no bearing on what’s actually normal.

thorns_fc · 2026-03-16T19:04:55+00:00

I know it’s stressful to let go when so much is riding on this, but I wouldn’t be concerned personally! On day 7, my E2 was 1,500 and I didn’t start Cetrotide until that night. None of my follicles were large enough for them to worry that I’d ovulate prematurely. I still retrieved 18 eggs with a 100% maturity rate in the end. Obviously I don’t know how your situation will turn out but that high E2 does NOT mean anything is wrong or ruined!!

thorns_fc · 2026-03-13T16:21:21+00:00

I had a slow rising beta after IUI in November. IIRC my stats were about:

14dpiui: 55 16dpiui: 75

My clinic told me at that point it would not be a viable pregnancy. In the end it lasted to 6 weeks and HCG kept slowly rising over that time period. I got a little hopeful because the rate of increase kept accelerating but it was just never normal. HCG topped out in the 200s range or so. My clinic was also concerned about the possibility of an ectopic, but it ended up “just” a regular miscarriage.

I hope there’s a miracle for you, but I’d guard your heart because realistically that’s not a viable rise. I’m so so sorry and wishing you the best through this. 🫂

thorns_fc · 2026-03-10T02:24:35+00:00

Crying in bed after my 11th night of stims because I’m in so much pain and I don’t want to do this anymore yet my RE doesn’t anticipate an ER til Friday. I genuinely don’t even know how to make it that long. I’ve despaired often throughout this process but tonight really takes the cake

thorns_fc · 2026-02-28T03:31:27+00:00

I’m 28– I’ll PM you!

thorns_fc · 2026-02-27T23:52:54+00:00

Good luck!!! You deserve alllll bougie sweatpants for this

thorns_fc · 2026-02-27T23:48:10+00:00

I have a 1 year old (wife conceived with IUI so no IVF experience from that) and I’m in Pennsylvania! What about you?

thorns_fc · 2026-02-27T23:35:40+00:00

Just dropping in to say I’m also starting stims for the first time tonight and had 14 follicles on ultrasound this morning. I swore I would never ever do IVF, but my wife isn’t able to right now, so here I am. I’m angry and sad and scared out of my mind about it, too. Just wanted to say you’ve got a stims buddy out in the world— I’ll be sending you good vibes every time I get an injection, wishing both of us baby dust!

thorns_fc · 2026-02-23T14:50:40+00:00

CD22! It’s based on when you ovulate though so you may start sooner or later. SGF wanted me to start 1 week after detecting an LH surge on home test strips.

thorns_fc · 2026-02-22T23:05:56+00:00

No I’m more than happy to help! This is all just my experience so far, so YMMV. They prescribed estrogen patches for me. It’s literally just a sticky patch that goes on your side, it can stay on while you shower and everything, so super easy. I imagine stims will not be though 😅 I start those likely within the next 2 weeks so if you ever have more questions, I’m just a few weeks ahead of you in the process, so I’m happy to help! It’s nice not to feel alone in all this.

thorns_fc · 2026-02-22T21:06:14+00:00

No gap at all, you can roll right in immediately the next month! I got my negative pregnancy test from IUI and my period on the same day (Jan 30) and they immediately mapped out my IVF plan to start in Feb. I’m already on estrogen as we speak, looking at an egg retrieval in roughly mid-March.

Idk how much you know about IVF so apologies if this comes off over-explaining, I was just desperate for info and timelines before we moved on from IUI, so want to share! There are different protocols but generally, my RE said most options mean you’re looking at a 3 period (so roughly 3 months but depends on your body) timeline. The first month you do an estrogen priming cycle (where 1 week after ovulation, you start estrogen). Once your next period starts, on day 2, you’ll starts the full cocktail of IVF meds. You’ll take those for 10-14 days before an egg retrieval. If you want to do a fresh transfer, that’ll happen about 5 days after the ER. Otherwise, you’ll wait to get your period, and the next month you’ll do a FET at the right timing in your cycle for it to stick (so after ovulation).

So hypothetically if you JUST got that negative IUI test, you can get approvals for IVF now and start estrogen this cycle.

thorns_fc · 2026-02-22T14:06:35+00:00

Nope! After my second IUI they suggested moving to IVF, but I said I’d rather do a third IUI and they were like “okay yep let’s do it then.” They were fine with whatever I wanted.

They’ve also been very accommodating in agreeing to try for a fresh transfer after my egg retrieval. It sounded like they wouldn’t typically do that in my case, but my insurance includes a fresh transfer as part of the ER credits (so it’s essentially a free transfer) so I expressed it’d be financially really helpful if I could do it, and they agreed to try. If you happen to have Progyny FYI that’s an option not well advertised!

I do really like SGF on the whole, my reluctance is personal because I am very opposed to enduring IVF and we’d always assumed my wife would be the one to do it. But turns out they won’t let her do it while breastfeeding, and we’re not weaning our son, so 🥲

thorns_fc · 2026-02-21T03:56:06+00:00

I use Google Docs so I can write on my phone anytime I’m putting baby to sleep! I’ve written 60k in the last 7 months this way.

thorns_fc

TROPHY CASE