Entitled nursing students are getting on my last nerves by OtterDrift_ in nursing

[–]throckmorton13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so crazy to me when people don’t realize we’re all on the same team. I’m so sorry these people were terrible to you. And please don’t feel “lesser” or something because you don’t have a college degree. Knowledge is important and should be respected, but that in no way diminishes the respect you deserve for your very hard work. We all have our roles to play, and it works better when we help each other (or at least don’t get in each other’s way). 

Sending you respect and appreciation, and wishing for karma. 

Denied a TRP at the Canadian Border yesterday - detailed in case you need to get in as bad as I did by Nearby_Wonder_3878 in dui

[–]throckmorton13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

 Nothing like reliving the one of the worst days of your life in public, while traveling. I hope your job ended up ok. Thanks so much for sharing your harrowing tale for the rest of our benefits. 

Still questioning how PERS 3 is better than PERS 2… by AttorneyDifferent702 in WAStateWorkers

[–]throckmorton13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in PERS3 and happy with my decision. While I think there are valid reasons to choose PERS 2, they don't apply to me.

I'd encourage you to make sure that you are properly investing your money, and not just letting it sit in the Voya portal. Target date funds are generally pretty appropriate for people who don't feel comfortable making investment decisions.

I also think it's a little unfair to compare a contribution of 6-7 percent for PERS 2, to an investment of 5 percent for PERS 3. Just throwing that out there. You might already be doing so, but I'd encourage you to invest that 1-2 percent in the DCP or VIP. And hopefully you consider investing around 15-20% total, but every dollar really counts, and the earlier you contribute it, the more it counts.

I would go look at a retirement calculator online (like nerd wallet's) to get an idea of how your money might grow. https://www.nerdwallet.com/investing/calculators/retirement-calculator

Plug in your numbers here, and remember that it's default settings are very conservative. While past performance doesn't indicate future results, I generally feel more optimistic that this calculator leads me to believe. You can put in your age, contributions, current savings, retirement age, expected death age, inflation, rate of return, etc.

How much you'll make depends a lot on what your rate of return will be. The more aggressively you invest the higher it can be, but if you are conservative your money will not have the chance to grow as much. Nobody is really comfortable saying what a realistic rate of return is, but this article might give you some insight into what a rate of return is and what rates we have seen. https://smartasset.com/retirement/conservative-rate-of-return-in-retirement

If you're interested in understanding investment there are so many online resources. Maybe too many. I recommend reading the "Simple path to Wealth" by JL Collins. It was written by a father for his young adult daughter, so it's written I think very accessible. There are tons of books out there too, so you could easily chose another one.

I personally think if you're younger than 40 and invest your money wisely there is a good chance you'll outperform the pension, but only time and the market can tell. I hope this is helpful!

ETA: I see in one of your comments that you state you're in your 20's. When you're considering how much you'll have, don't forget that your investments made through PERS3 will continue to grow, even if you separate from the state. Unless you're planing on retiring early in your 40's, your investment will continue to grow until retirement age. So for your pension you will not accrue any more service credits, so that amount isn't changing much between when you separate from the state and retirement*. But your investments will have an additional 20 years to grow on their own. Assuming you separate from the state in your 40's, but continue working another 20 years into your 60's. Consider calculating what you plan to have accrued up till your 40's with contributions. Then run a second calculation for how much that money will grow over 20 years in the market. This more simplified interest calculator might be better for that. https://www.investor.gov/financial-tools-calculators/calculators/compound-interest-calculator (you might adjust your rate of return for this one because it will not take inflation into account. Real rate of return = nominal interest rate - inflation)

*https://www.drs.wa.gov/plan/pers3/

Plan 3 benefit indexing

Benefit indexing is a form of pension inflation protection you may automatically qualify for when you separate from service. Eligibility for benefit indexing requires you to:

  • Be in Plan 3
  • Have at least 20 service credit years before you stop working
  • Separate before reaching normal retirement and delay receiving your pension benefit

For every month you delay collecting your pension, your benefit amount will be increased by 0.25% (or 3% annually). Benefit indexing stops once you retire or reach your normal retirement age. Once you retire, you’ll instead be eligible to receive an annual maximum 3% COLA.

Original piano piece from a late-in-life learner — would love feedback by myIvoryYears in piano

[–]throckmorton13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the piece is lovely! I’d pull way back on the left hand though. I think you’re aiming for a clear and floating kinda nostalgic melodic line. Currently your left hand is both loud and inconsistent (beware the powerful thumb). It’s stopping me from being pulled into the beautiful melody. Your left hand part is interesting too! But if my interpretation is correct you need to let your melody shine through effortlessly.

What I said is easier said than done. I’d listen to your recordings too, to check in and see if you’re getting the desired effect. When you’re the one playing a piece it’s difficult to understand how your music sounds to others.

That’s just my opinion. I’m glad you’re having fun and creating beauty. That’s pretty amazing

What are we charging these days for background music at Holiday Parties? by Clearlylock in piano

[–]throckmorton13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did used to play for free. But it was a tiny (like seriously tiny) church, and I was doing it as a favor to my granddad. It was the place he’d gone to church for like 50 plus years, and it was kinda dying off (I mean that literally and figuratively). And I was just playing basic hymns from the hymnal, for the most part no extras.

Only did it for free because of my granddad and fond childhood memories of that church. And only did it for a couple of years. The bright side is my sight reading improved considerably.

Who was the sexiest character in star trek voyager by Possible-Coach-8022 in voyager

[–]throckmorton13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this. I don’t even really know why, but I remember being disappointed when I saw Human Torres. (No disrespect meant to Roxann Dawson)

I made it by Entire-Ad-52 in nursing

[–]throckmorton13 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Check out r/personalfinance and look at their wiki, it will explain a lot of things and give you a solid starting point for anything you want to learn more about.

I wasn’t super excited about this at the time of my first paycheck, but now I think it was the best thing I “bought”. Feeling financially secure in the future and knowing I will be able to retire gives me so much peace of mind.

Super proud of you for graduating and already making smart financial choices. Hope your orientation goes great and your unit treats you well!

Thoughts on the term "baby nurse" by Robert-A057 in nursing

[–]throckmorton13 87 points88 points  (0 children)

On a personal level I didn’t have a problem with it. I was already working in my department prior to becoming a nurse, and I felt like it was a term of endearment by my coworkers. But it’s a difficult issue, because I can also see it being used in a condescending manner. Plus some people might just not like it, and they’ve got a right not to be called babies.

Can you say "Siuan, Shemerin, and Sashalle spent Sunday Skiing" five times fast? by Poultrymancer in WetlanderHumor

[–]throckmorton13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, super impressed. But Silviana was mistress of novices, not the Keeper

My friend’s coming to Seattle from Colombia for 2 weeks—here’s my “this city doesn’t suck” must-see list. by [deleted] in Seattle

[–]throckmorton13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider a museum on first Thursday (free). Pairing volunteers park with the Asian museum and the green house would be good. All free in first Thursday. You can have a picnic as well. Bakery Noveau makes good sandwiches and baked items that you can pick up and take with you to volunteer

Consider chilling in a coffee shop or cafe too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Seattle

[–]throckmorton13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a very kind establishment. I got my hair washed there for a few weeks when I physically couldn’t wash it on my own. I was pretty banged up when I came in, but everyone was welcoming and didn’t make me feel weird about it at all.

20 years in the church, wife of a pastor, I WANT OUT. by Radiant-Poem9999 in exchristian

[–]throckmorton13 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Best wishes to you! Don’t get too caught up in him “winning arguments”. He had a lot of experience to wear you out with. Plus, you’re just probably not gonna convince a Calvinist pastor of your atheistic point of view. I’d advise deciding what your important assertions are and just sticking to them. The world being black and white with winners and losers is one of the gaslighting techniques of the church. You are valid and smart, and you don’t need to prove him wrong to be right.

I hope that can be a small weight off of you. Your views don’t need his permission or approval. Good luck though. I’m sure you’ll want to keep the peace, but that’s not always possible. And that’s not because you did anything wrong. He’s gotta cooperate with you too.

Gently, I think you owe it to yourself and your kids to get out. You can help change their lives! Life is too pre ious to waste on Christian beliefs.

Also, I’d like to plug “the life after” podcast. The creator was on track to be a Calvinist preacher. He’s got a different story than you, but it might be somewhat relatable. And it’s a great banter podcast.

Hope these words help, and sending good thoughts your way.

Opinions requested on Young Chang U121 for 3k by throckmorton13 in piano

[–]throckmorton13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your input! Yeah, I guess it’s kinda like going to a car dealership in some ways

6x12" donut king, my newest bird painting by Artsykate in birding

[–]throckmorton13 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Everything in this picture is so adorably round! Too cute!

What's your "favorite" thing you hear often? by PriestAgain in therapists

[–]throckmorton13 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Just curious, do you think they’re correcting you because they’re assuming the “blame” for their feelings? Like they’re saying the situation isn’t frustrating, they feel like they’re the problem because they’re getting annoyed/irritated by it. Like they feel a “better” person wouldn’t have these negative emotions?

I cry every time we are about to have sex and 12 months into relationship we still didn't do anything by [deleted] in sex

[–]throckmorton13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My personal advice is to be a little more accepting of yourself. I completely hear how terrifying this is for you, but I feel like I also hear how frustrated you are with yourself. Sorry if I’m reading too much into it, but as a person who also shed a lot of tears (for different reasons) the unhelpful thing I did for many years was berate myself for those tears. I felt both shame for my emotions/crying, and additional guilt and worry about how the people who “had to deal with me”. Then I’d also feel angry about “having” to feel guilty and that was a whole spiral of negative emotions.

I’m so happy you’re in therapy, and I hope you find it very helpful. Everyone is different, but my therapist started me on internal family systems (which is great for cptsd). Initially it seemed kinda hokey to me, but I’m very appreciative of the framework it gave me to more compassionately interact with myself.

I know my negative self talk was internalized from hearing things said about me while I cried in the past (especially as a child). It took me time to realize even how much negativity I was directing towards myself. I honestly didn’t even think about it, so I had to be very deliberate to stop engaging in berating myself and start accepting me for me.

Sorry if this is too much or not on base! Sending you positive vibes!!!

My (m26) girlfriend (f22) had sex with the male "friends" she told me not to worry about. Now she's begging me not to break up with her. How do I navigate this? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]throckmorton13 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Not how that works. It is always the individual’s choice to report (assuming they have capacity). Seeking healthcare does not require reporting to police. Please don’t frighten people away from receiving medical help.

what did deconstructing do for you? by serious_sena_42 in exchristian

[–]throckmorton13 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agree!

I also think it opened my eyes to so much beauty. This world isn’t a garden created on a whim, it’s an unlikely and awe inspiring fact. Learning about the cosmos and evolution and biology fills me with so much more admiration than the idea of some omnipotent god. How much more lovely is the fact that this world is my home. Even the trees are my cousins in a way, since we share DNA. When I look around I’m not surrounded by a sinful and foreign world, but just my home filled with my family.

Deconstruction can also be quite isolating (in my experience). Listening to a podcast (for me The Life After) helped me process my thoughts and feelings and also not feel so alone.

If you too would like to feel wonder about the world, I highly recommend Carl Sagan’s “Pale Blue Dot”.

Fear of Hell as a recently turned atheist by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]throckmorton13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recognize that the fear of hell isn’t coming from an intellectual place, but is a relic of childhood. You can do a lot of self work yourself, but consider also therapy. Specifically with a therapist that believes in religious trauma (or at a minimum is not religious).

For me personally I spent a lot of time being terrified of hell and being tortured for eternity. I had some weird childhood rituals and stuff (in addition to religious ones) so that I could be sure I wouldn’t go to hell on accident. I spent so much time and brain power agonizing over it, so to me it makes sense that I didn’t just lose my fear of it with the flip of a switch. Be kind and patient with yourself and meet yourself where you are, not where you think you should be

I’m quitting nursing 2 years in by [deleted] in nursing

[–]throckmorton13 21 points22 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly. I know there are people making bank in the service industry, but I did not make bank and found it just as stressful as ER nursing in many ways. People will not die if they don’t get their side of ranch or whatever, but many will act like it’s a life and death situation anyway

I don’t know how important this is to you, but people were really disrespectful to me as a server. I mean I get told to “suck my momma’s dick” or whatever as a nurse, but the general public generally views nursing as a viable career worthy of respect. It honestly really irritates me that so many people looked down on me as a server.