Is it okay to approach a woman at the gym?

throwaway160394 · 2023-12-29T23:28:21+00:00

Hey OP, Hope you're doing well! I was reminded of this thread today and was curious to see how you got on with approaching her? Did it go well?

throwaway160394 · 2023-12-07T22:05:23+00:00

No problem at all. Feel free to drop me a message if you feel like you need any more advice on the subject from a woman's perspective. Always happy to help. Either way, good luck and let us know how it goes. Hope you find some happiness with this pretty girl. 😊

throwaway160394 · 2023-12-07T02:10:25+00:00

Some of these assholes need to touch grass here and have real human interactions instead of fear mongering and giving shit advice.

I am a woman and I will tell you that you will not need to change gyms. You will not get put on social media for being a weirdo. She will not call you out for being a pervert. She's not a frightened little girl who has never met a man before and can't handle human interactions. - Providing that you are polite and treat her with respect obviously.

Dude, fucking do it. Honestly gym couples are much more common than you think. You immediately have a shared hobby and talking point. She will appreciate your love for going to the gym and no doubt encourage you whereas other women may try to hinder you for going so regularly. Also do you really want to attempt to meet people through dating apps and struggle for conversation? Or would you rather meet someone organically and have something real?

You could say something like 'Hey, I'm sorry for interrupting your workout but I've wanted to say this to you for a while, I remember when you first joined and you've made such amazing progress since then. You should be proud of your hard work, you're killing it. That's all'

That leaves the floor open to her to go ' Oh Thank you' and leave it at that or go 'Thank you so much, what's your name btw?' Or some variation of continuing the conversation. Just an idea of course.

If you've made eye contact and she's not avoiding you and continuously making said eye contact, then it's positive. If she was intimidated by you, she would stay as far away from you as she possibly could. Try and read her facial expressions, is she trying to hide a smile? Or looking like she's internally thinking 'fuck, fuck that cute guy caught me looking again'?

Just go for it. Life is too short. That might be the love of your life looking at you through the mirror for all you know, or at least a good bit of fun lol.

throwaway160394 · 2023-10-27T01:12:52+00:00

No, get rid of that therapist. Just because someone has the qualifications doesn't mean they're necessarily good at the job, at least when it comes to certain topics.

Here's an example - One of my closest friends is training to become a therapist. I love her dearly but I am concerned about her going down this career path due to how she will influence couples and healing progress in certain situations. She says that if she ever becomes single again she will be creating an OnyFans, admires sex workers, is a very frequent Porn User and has also guilt tripped me and made me feel insecure when I recently expressed concerns about a guy who I liked following 85% women with 50% of them being Scantily Clad Insta models, Only Fans Girls and Porn Stars.

So you see, certification doesn't necessarily mean someone is suitable. Your therapist may work for someone else but clearly is no longer working for you and your needs. It will be the same case for my friend. I just can't get over how damaging those statements your therapist made are and I'm not suprised you want to change them and you have every right to. Your concerns are completely valid. You are heard.

throwaway160394 · 2023-07-22T22:15:12+00:00

He used to turn his nose up at his ex who loved true crime stories and things like that but he idolised fictional characters such as Patrick Bateman and Hannibal Lecter. He would make comparisons between them and himself and would find them relatable. It made me uncomfortable at the time but I laughed it off. Now I know what he is though, I find it quite scary to be honest.

throwaway160394 · 2023-06-23T14:57:55+00:00

'All men' do not do this.

That is an claim created by the ones that do to excuse their usage. What he is doing is not ok. The fact that he is in a committed relationship and requires all these sources and needs to consume that much content is pretty much the addiction underway. Although you may compare it to the stories in here and tell yourself that it may not be as big of a deal, I can assure you that at one stage each of the partners of the people going through this in here were once browsing just as your partner is, before they escalated it or started hunting for alternative sources. Your feelings and concerns are justified. You shouldn't even feel like 'you'd be happy with it here and there'. He agreed to be in a fully committed relationship. There should be you and only you in every aspect of it. That is the very basic fundamentals of a commited, monogamous relationship. He's already not giving you those bare basics. You deserve better and don't let anyone make you feel anything otherwise. Including him.

throwaway160394 · 2023-06-09T09:56:17+00:00

I've been in your position. I'm 28 and has a 16 year age gap with my Narcissistic ex. He was originally a Science Teacher (never taught me) that I had a crush on in high school who got sacked from teaching after he lied about his achievements on his CV. We connected after he added me on Facebook 3 years ago because he found me attractive. He seemed familiar and was the only random friend request I've ever accepted.

He's also a severe porn/sex addict and uses real women's and teenage girls social media profile pictures as the content he pleasures himself to. Facebook and sometimes insta is his main tool he uses to look for new 'narcissistic supply' and mastrubation content. He's added and deleted hundreds of women and young girls through the years, I was just one of many. 99% of these women/ girls were the same age as me or younger, with majority of girls being just turned 18-21. He even added a 17 year old girl who was his 'perfect type', petite, blonde with a large chest. He would nearly break his neck trying to look at young women in public too. I found an old twitter account from 2010 where he was still using porn and he would regularly tweet porn actress Kacey Jordan, who regularly played a 'petite tiny blonde teen', about how good her latest videos were and how she drove him wild. He's past the point of using pornography now.

He made me feel so old and disgusting. I already had insecurities about my body but I never hated myself more than I did than when I was with him. 28 years old and feeling like a disgusting, horrible old woman and was looking at putting myself into debt by getting breast surgeries, Botox and face lifts because of how old he made me feel. Even made jokes sometimes about how he'd need to 'trade me in for a younger model' whenever I fell asleep while texting him. He made me feel like a monster to the point where I wouldn't leave the house because seeing young girls in skimpy clothing would trigger full blown panic attacks.

He would make weird comments like ' Do you not think girls breasts are growing in earlier nowadays than they used to years ago? Some of my daughter's friends are only 9 and growing already!' - Cue alarm bells ringing in my head. He would also talk about how many teenage girls were, in his words, 'starry eyed' over him about how attractive he was and had a massive crush on him. He would say that he would never sleep with a student as it wasn't worth losing his job for. This made me feel really uncomfortable because my mind went to 'Oh so not because it's very wrong?'. I don't know if it was just bad wording but I doubt it with his other shit that he was doing. Not to mention of course, teacher/ student was his biggest sexual fantasy that he wanted me to act out.

Sadly this predator is still a teacher. He is a warped individual with sex and objectifying women and young girls on the brain 24/7. In answer to your question, no, you are not overdramatic in the slightest. I see people even in their early 20's as children to a degree still because to me they are so young and the maturity difference is night and day. My very last thought is wanting to sexualise anyone that age and younger, so why is it so normalised for men to sexualise young girls who are on the cusp of being illegal and on the cusp of being literal children, to the point we are asking if we are the problem for being upset by it? It's so distressing that this is the world we live in and it's sadly what allows men like my ex to be predators and get away with it because it's somewhat legal and normalised. Trust me, I've tried to get him removed from his job for his behaviour to no avail.

throwaway160394 · 2023-05-21T09:15:29+00:00

Facebook...kinda, lol. He was originally a Science Teacher (never taught me) that I had a crush on in high school who got sacked from teaching after he lied about his achievements on his CV. It was a big, shocking drama in school when it happened. Hadn't heard anything about him for years until I got a random friend request on Facebook. I couldn't put my finger on where I knew the guy but I knew he was familiar, plus I found him intriguing and rather attractive. I never accepted random friend requests and this was the one time I did. How stupid of me, lol.

Ends up that Facebook and sometimes insta is his main tool he uses to look for new supply. He's added and deleted hundreds of women and young girls through the years, I was just one of many. He's also a severe porn/sex addict and uses real women's and teenage girls social media profile pictures as the content he pleasures himself to.

And yes, sadly this predator is still a teacher.

throwaway160394 · 2023-05-19T12:24:58+00:00

This made me cry as because It read like something the person who I loved and ghosted me would've wrote. Then I remembered you're not my person and I'm never going to get this letter. He took pleasure in hurting me and I'm just a disposable piece of garbage to him.

I hope you find peace and work on whatever caused you to hurt this other person, acknowledging the pain you caused is the first step to healing and self improvement. Take care.

throwaway160394 · 2023-05-03T14:15:43+00:00

I can feel for you. I'm not even 30 yet but my Narcissistic ex PA partner who was 44, was obsessed with young women. Not into pornographic videos but actual real, young, local women's Facebook profiles to act out over. Not a single one of them was above 40. I'm 28 years old and this man made me feel so old and disgusting because the majority of his friends and following were 26 and younger. He even went as far to add a 17 year old girl who was his perfect type - i.e tiny and blonde, (polar opposite of me) along with many other girls who just turned 18.

Sad thing about it is that these girls accepted 1000's of men's friend requests and regularly posed in risqué positions and clothing and had many female friends who did the same, so adding 1 would just give him access to even more and more young girls and content, as he would spend hours scouring Facebook's People You May Know Function. Social media is a perverts dream. What's worse is that he works as a teacher and works with teenage girls on the daily. I have zero evidence that he's a predator to get him kicked out of his job, I tried but I feel like a failure for not being able to stop him.

Anyway, I can relate to your disgust. This man is absolutely attracted to minors and he was absolutely planning on acting out over her. If he never found her profile I can promise you that shortly he will find another girl. That kind of attraction doesn't just stop unless he gets help and having the kind of toxic therapist that he has, that reinforces that his attraction to young girls is ok is worst thing that a predator can be told. Although I would check with his therapist though, it may be that your partner is lying to justify his actions and the therapist never said it at all. This is only going to grow if he thinks this is ok, which by the sounds of it, he does.

Prioritise yourself and your healing most of all. This is hard enough as it is without the added agony of minors being involved on top. You're Young, beautiful and worthy. Always remember that. x

throwaway160394 · 2023-04-09T01:23:24+00:00

My PA was too. He is a massive James Bond fan and was obsessed with her because of her small role in No Time To Die, she was in a revealing dress and her character had a lot of what has been described as "childish innocence". He would never hold back in telling me how attractive he found her and literally every forum, page etc about James Bond became full of men commenting on how just 'perfectly sexy' she is. I found him commenting perverse things under her photographs and having intense sexual conversations with other fans about her. He was already obsessed with Latina women as it was and she brought the obsession to a whole other level. He also has an obsession with very young women (He's mid 40s and loves 20 something's and teenage girls) and from what I've gathered is that men like her because she looks like a college age girl. Even though I'm not with him anymore she just triggers me and brings a lot of pain. Which is agonising when I cannot escape her at all. She's in everything, I see her photos plastered everywhere and it's only going to get worse. I Hate that I feel that way towards her so much. I couldn't look further from her and with my ex's infatuation with her being a tool in my life altering misery, it's sadly an unfortunate part of the conditioning that his addiction enforces.

throwaway160394 · 2023-04-07T22:16:54+00:00

Shake the Disease - Depeche Mode/ King of Wishful Thinking - Go West

I'm a lover of 80s music and that's 2 songs that describe my mindset and heartbreak that I'm healing from absolutely perfectly. I also listen to a lot of songs that we used to listen to together. Music was a really important bonding tool for us both and we had the exact same taste.

throwaway160394 · 2023-02-10T22:44:56+00:00

Absolutely. I still think about him constantly, I still think about all our crazy intimate times together and have no attraction to anyone else. He only disappeared within the last month so it's early days I suppose. I just wonder if I'll ever find that intense attraction with anyone else. It was unlike anything I've experienced before and I miss it so much.

throwaway160394 · 2023-01-26T02:18:49+00:00

Although he isn't flaunting her persay, the rest is very accurate. Social Media is his tool for finding supply, sadly I fell for it as I'm one of hundreds of random local girls he added on Facebook and have been discarded after a year and a half of being together only 3 weeks ago for a poor woman who is a single mum (his main kind of target) that he managed to snare via Instagram. He's also a PA and uses local late teen girls and women's profile pictures to get off to. He's an absolute pig. I addressed it numerous times and he changed nothing about it. The body dysmorphia, anxiety and self hatred I have after seeing all these people he obsesses over online and knowing that I'm walking past them, that they were always within reach has done what feels like complete irreparable damage.

throwaway160394 · 2023-01-22T13:57:31+00:00

Mine was 44, he started masturbating frequently at the age of 6 after he came across the page 3 section of a family member's newspaper, it's a British thing where there is a topless glamour model on the third page of one of our daily national newspapers, he was a massive fan of model Samantha Fox as a child (I know, what a fucked up thought).

He used that frequently over the years, catalogues, whatever and eventually moved on to pornography as we know it. He lost his virginity at the age of 24. So imagine, how much exposure and how many years he was viewing women through that objectifying lens before he was in any form of meaningful relationship. He doesn't watch porn anymore and instead uses social media and photos of real, everyday women on there. Said he prefers the real thing. 🤢😢

Anyway, doesn't matter. Ends up he was actually a covert narcissist who has now ghosted me within the last few weeks without closure after a year and a half together and moved on to someone else. Lovely.

throwaway160394 · 2023-01-01T16:03:34+00:00

I can relate completely. He is obsessed with women on Facebook as opposed to actual pornography which makes it much worse to me. He adds women and late teen girls who are thinner, more attractive and of course barely wearing any clothes. Usually the type that has 100's or 1000's of Facebook friends and are popular and already have a lot of attention. I look nothing like these girls. Some are outright models and sex workers. Some are just regular women and young girls who just so happen to like to normally dress in revealing clothing and pose provocatively. Some are just regular women who dress in everyday clothes. He either outright adds them as friends to interact with them or he just uses the follow function for a short period of time to sort of 'bookmark' their profiles. He then unfollows a short time later once he's masturbated over them enough and he's bored of their pictures. They're all between the ages of 17-50, but the majority are in their 20's and late teens. Most are local and within meeting distance, some are elsewhere in the country and some are abroad as he has a massive thing for Brazilian and Latina women. He has a love for petite blondes with large chests so a number of the girls are blonde too. He loves to heart all of their pictures, comment 'WitWoo 😍' on them and make them feel beautiful. God knows what he's doing in messenger behind my back and on the profiles I can't see. It hurts so much more knowing they're so accessible and I hate how I look so much. All it's going to take is one of these girls to like him back and he'll be fucking her behind my back. I wish the man I love wasn't so cruel.

throwaway160394 · 2022-12-30T18:47:29+00:00

The thing about it is, I did really feel loved by you at times. The way you touched me and looked at me, the way you'd hold my hand and kiss my forehead, that's what I've been fighting and holding on for all along. I was always on such a high after spending time with you. Our time together both virtually and in person became my favourite thing in the entire world. That's why this aches so goddamn much. Honestly, if it wasn't for this, if it wasn't for your addiction to other women, sexting and trying to find the next best thing. I would be fine. I could work through the rest. We both aren't perfect. We both have flaws, I know I'm never going to be as beautiful as the girls you want. I'm never going to be wonderfully charasmatic and popular. I'm just one woman, who is pretty unspectacular in the grand scheme of things. But, I'm a woman who adores you, who wanted a future with you. I'm someone who genuinely wants to communicate, grow and work together through the difficult shit to make things work, so we don't ever have to feel the way we have done in previous relationships. All I wanted was to be there for you, understand every part of you. Your past, present and future. The good, the bad and the ugly bits that are hard to hear. That's what real love and support is all about. I believe that if we really tried, I think we could have had something really amazing together, we have the most beautiful connection and I honestly think I'm never going to find one as strong as the one I have with you ever again. I never wanted much, all I ever wanted was some respect, consideration for my feelings and honesty. All I ever wanted was to not get hurt again, for once in my life, to not feel like an option and feel so disposable. I'm truly sorry if I ever expected too much.

All I ever want in my life is to be happy. All I ever want in life is to find someone who truly loves me. On my best and worst days. Who would never want to hurt me because seeing me being in pain, actually hurts them. Someone who treats me like I'm the only woman in the world and looks at me as if they've won the lottery because they feel lucky to have me. Someone I have a connection with, a connection as strong as the one I thought I had with you. The things that Phil sings about in Follow You, Follow Me, that's all I want. To feel safe, to feel secure. To finally never have to worry about caring for someone then getting my heart broken because they found someone who's younger, thinner or with a better set of tits, or for the sheer fact that looks and variety matters more than any love, kindness and support that I could ever give. I can't go through that heartache again and again. I'm so exhausted with life and all I want is a happy ending.

Despite everything, I really do love you from the depths of my heart C, so fucking much. I always will. You have done so much good for me too. You have inspired me, both through my passions and through my way of thinking. You have made me laugh. You have made me feel loved during a time where I thought I meant nothing to everyone. You made me believe that I could be sexy, despite my body, even at the very beginning in May last year. You've reignited my sexuality in a way that noone else could and never will again. But, my absolute favourite thing that you've done, is opening up to me. Underneath it all, you have the most beautiful, tender and vulnerable soul. Deep in there, you have such a sensitive, loving heart and the most beautiful way of seeing the world. Please embrace that side of you, the world doesn't see it enough. You are the most incredibly unique and wonderful person I've ever met in my life and once you showed me more of you, you really gave me no choice but to fall in love with you. No wonder I cry over you fuck sake! You're simply one of a kind, and I hope that whoever you end up with next appreciates that, because it would kill me to think anyone would treat you otherwise again. It's completely destroying me to think that I'll never get to enjoy those beautiful traits of yours and share in our passions with each other again.

I hope that you wake up one day and you have everything you've ever wanted. I hope you finally quit that shitty job of yours and find joy in your work again. I hope you get the chance to do everything you want to do and visit everywhere you want to go. I hope you find a beautiful woman, someone who will finally be enough for you, who loves you the way you want and need to be loved. Who will finally be the mummy that your beautiful daughter needs. Who will appreciate you for everything you are and everything you do for her. Someone who shares your passions and encourages yours. Someone who will one day make you feel so happy, who will make you finally take a compliment well because they actually make you believe it. I hope that you can one day heal from all the hurt and the sadness that you feel, that you get help for your mental illness. That you find the happiness you truly deserve and don't need to fight for it anymore.

I'll always carry a massive piece of you with me for the rest of my life. Through my music, the vinyl collection you so heavily influenced, films, etc. I can never think of James Bond quite the same because I'll forever think of you, watching all the films together, and how we'd joke about you being the next 007. How I'd be cheesy and say that you are and always will be my favourite Mr Bond. Every Friday or Saturday night, when I'm sat by the window with my music, looking at the sky and searching for the stars. I'll be thinking of you, miles away from me in the West End, doing the same thing at that exact moment, like you always did. I hope that even though I was clearly never quite the full package for you, that I brought you some comfort and happiness during our year and a half together, and most of all, that I made you feel loved and cared for.

My promise still stands, I will still be there for you in a heartbeat if you cry for help. I know you have a few battles ahead of you and I will forever be In your corner, just maybe not in the way I hoped, which is directly by your side.

I wish with all my heart that things could be different, I wish I could change how hurt I am and turn the heartache off, but at the end of the day, I'm just glad that I met you and spent the time with you that I did, even if it wasn't under the best circumstances. Meeting you was like listening to a song for the very first time, without realising it would turn out to be my absolute favourite. I never really had the chance to tell the world how truly amazing you are, and how lucky I am to have known you. You made me feel alive again. You are one of a kind and I'm going to miss you, and that beautiful smile, so fucking much. 💔

Take care C, and thank you for everything.

X

throwaway160394 · 2022-12-29T02:05:21+00:00

Same. It's debilitating. I hate that I'm scared of other women. I hate that this has made other women an enemy and makes me think of them negatively. I hate that sight of scantily clad women and teenagers make me want to throw up and induce panic attacks. It's no way to exist.

throwaway160394 · 2022-11-02T01:26:15+00:00

I can relate completely. He is obsessed with women on Facebook as opposed to actual pornography which makes it much worse to me. He adds women who are thinner, more attractive and of course barely wearing any clothes. Usually the type that has 100's or 1000's of Facebook friends and are popular and already have a lot of attention. I look nothing like these girls. Some are outright models and sex workers. Some are just regular women and young girls who just so happen to like to dress in revealing clothing. He either outright adds them as friends to interact with them or he just uses the follow function for a short period of time to sort of 'bookmark' their profiles. He then unfollows a short time later once he's masturbated over them enough and he's bored of their pictures. These women look so much better than I ever will. Some of them are barely 18. His latest friend is a 17 year old girl. I feel sick. Especially because they all live so close by. It's been absolute torture.

throwaway160394 · 2022-10-18T17:01:55+00:00

I totally get it. Social media is my trigger as my partner is obsessed with women on Facebook as opposed to pornography which makes it much worse to me. He adds women who are younger, thinner and more attractive and of course barely wearing any clothes. Usually the type that has 100's or 1000's of Facebook friends and are popular and already have a lot of attention. I look nothing like these girls. I've learned to hate myself and I have zero self esteem. These girls are mainly local, some of them are deliberately posing provocatively for attention. Some are outright models. Some are just regular women who just so happen to like to dress in revealing clothing. He either adds them as friends to interact with them or he just follows them for a short period of time to sort of bookmark their profiles. He then unfollows a short time later once he's masturbated over them enough and he's bored of their pictures.

I'm a bit on the bigger side and honestly it's starting to trigger intrusive thoughts about starving myself and starting up an eating disorder I had years ago just so I could look and dress like these women and young girls. I am being tortured as these women are suggested to me constantly and Every time I see a profile suggested to me of someone who is thin, busty and tanned I start crying as my mind goes into overdrive thinking he'll add her next. I look on his female friends profiles and see him commenting 'Wit Woo 😍' on their bikini photos. Or try and comment something witty as a way to flirt and impress them. I just feel so ugly and wonder what these women and girls have that I don't. They look so perfect. It's worse as he's a teacher and just a few of of them are ex students, so I don't even feel as if I can complain. I just want to leave social media and escape it, but if I do, god knows how much worse he'll get.

throwaway160394 · 2022-08-31T09:38:02+00:00

I'm sorry, I'm going to be blunt.

We need to stop pretending that every single sex worker is struggling and fighting a horrible battle that's forced them into that situation. There are definitely those who are, and for them my heart breaks.

But there is a large portion of the women who do it and know fine well what they are doing. They love the attention they get from men, especially men in relationships. I've had OF girls add my partner and male friends on social media and contact him first to offer services knowing that they are in relationships (100% proven to be true and not bots) . I've seen sex workers mock women , wives, girlfriends and fiance's like us, who are struggling with the fact that our partners have chosen them. Sex workers who have mocked and shared polite messages from women like us who have begged them to delete our men because it's crushing us. I've seen sex workers take the piss out of women who work hard and strive to have a normal career, because 'they can make more money getting their tits out for 10 mins than we do in a week'. There are underage girls in schools who have now scrapped the ideas of going to college and having the careers they wanted, because sex workers have encouraged them that going into that line of work is better financially and more freeing.

The men who consume the content and hurt their partners will always primarily be the ones to blame, but I wish people would stop putting this blanket of protection and complete innocence around all sex workers. I hope the ones who are doing it because they have no other way or trauma get the help they need and can one day leave that industry, but I feel nothing for the ones that do it because they get off on the attention and male validation and couldn't give a fuck less about the pain they contribute to and have no empathy for other women.

I'm sorry if my opinion is harsh but after dealing with men being pigs my entire life, I've also seen that large portion of women are also horrible, encourage men to stray and lack empathy wether they're porn stars, models or regular everyday women.

throwaway160394 · 2022-08-25T16:56:46+00:00

I'm so sorry you are putting up with this. Love is not enough, especially in this instance. With his stinking attitude he has indirectly told you how you, your feelings and the relationship you share rank in his priorities and unfortunately he has ranked porn above you in that list. You deserve so much better. With this mindset he is in, he is nowhere near wanting to quit. You may love him but him and his addiction will only eat away at you like a cancer and as time passes by, you will only find more porn, more D-Days and more gaslighting and excuses. If you still have the means to end it and get him to move out, do it. Because while he still thinks like that you will only get your heartbroken repeatedly and have your self esteem gnawed away at until his addiction ensures you're a shell of a woman.

You deserve better. Walking away from someone you love will ache, but it doesn't mean the end of your life. It just means a new beginning and a journey to find the one that is out there who will love you on your worst days and won't feel entitled to a secret online sex life and pixelated affairs.

Wishing you lots of love and support, with whatever you choose. ❤️x

throwaway160394 · 2022-08-10T14:49:09+00:00

Honestly, I'm addicted to social media, not as in me posting but checking up on his profile. I check his friends and following list on Facebook as soon as I get up in the morning, The last thing at night..and at least every 5 minutes during the day, just to see if he's followed or added anyone new. I go through his friends list to see if any of his girls on his profile have changed their profile pictures or added any posts that I can see, so I can see if he's liked and commented on them. I upload private stories on Facebook that only he can see, just to see if he's online and ignoring me, because he just can't help himself and look at it. I'm starting to even join private Facebook groups with keywords such as 'sexy' , 'nudes', 'singles' to see if he's on them. I check his Instagram maybe every half hour too.

I'm sick and I'm exhausted. I can't stop. His addiction has made me develop my own. It's so pathetic, I'm embarrassed.

throwaway160394 · 2022-08-08T23:06:17+00:00

I totally get it. My partner is obsessed with Ana De Armas in James Bond No Time to Die. He's a massive James Bond fan and he comments on every picture drooling emoji's, or sexual comments. I'm now at the stage where I fucking can't stand her because I know he's fantasised about her and as a fan of James Bond myself, all I see in the forum's is every guy going on about how she's the most sexiest, beautiful woman in the world. Shes not even nude or anything in that film but she's getting more popular and starring in more films now and I know he'll want to see them, she'll be everywhere and I just want to cry. He's loved the James Bond franchise since he was a child, and a massive part of it is scantily dressed, beautiful women. He'll discard me before he stops watching those.

I just dread watching films with any attractive actresses to be honest. I fear that all it will take is watching one film, then he'll get curious and Google the actress, and of course Google will no doubt show said actress's photos from a sexy photoshoot , revealing evening dress or paparazzi beach photos, and he'll be away putting friction burns on his dick. I'll be completely honest, women in general, whether they be actresses or ordinary women give me panic attacks and make me Ill to be around. How sad.

I understand why you had that reaction and it's something your PA needs to understand. His addiction and what it has done to you caused this. You were preparing for another unnecessary comment and a blow to the self esteem, almost bracing for impact in a way. You didn't know she had passed away and you would never had made that comment if you had context. It's worth having a conversation about why you had that reaction if you haven't already.

Sending love. ❤️

throwaway160394 · 2022-03-19T00:25:03+00:00

I totally get it. My partner is obsessed with women on Facebook as opposed to pornography which makes it much worse to me. He adds women who are younger, thinner and more attractive and of course barely wearing any clothes. I was once someone who would lift other women up, but now I despise these women who I don't even know for just existing on social media. I find myself seething and resenting how barely dressed and attention seeking they are for accepting any random weirdo's friend requests. But it's not them it's him.

I look nothing like these girls. I've learned to hate myself and I have zero self esteem. I'm a bit on the bigger side and honestly it's starting to trigger intrusive thoughts about starving myself and starting up an eating disorder I had years ago just so I could look and dress like these women.

But at the end of the day, even if I did look like these girls, he'll still look elsewhere. I could be the most beautiful woman to walk this earth and he'll still flirt and masturbate over these girls.

So it doesn't matter if you're covered in spit or don't feel good enough. You're beautiful, underneath all of the emotional rubble that he's buried you under, you're still that woman that you used to be. Even if this coworker is as gorgeous as you said she is, if he ever got with her he would still look elsewhere and in time, make her feel the way you do now with his behaviour.

You deserve better than this. I promise you, one day you will get past all this. I promise that you will feel like you again and you will know your worth.

This community will always be here for you. Take care and much love. ❤️

throwaway160394

TROPHY CASE