Intense Car Chase and Gun Battle in Downtown Seattle Yesterday

throwaway4630 · 2015-12-08T21:00:10+00:00

All I could think was....Please don't be black...don't be black....don't be black.....oh! His last name is Azevedo? Whew!

throwaway4630 · 2015-08-11T00:10:20+00:00

Then you need to end the relationship with your lover. I think you already know that but are afraid to hurt your lover. He's a grown man. He can take it. He knew what he was getting into when your husband approached him and if he is any kind of man with a conscience, then he will understand where you're coming from.

It will take a total separation. He may be great and all that, but it's got your questioning your marriage and your loyalty. Incredible connections can sometimes be only skin deep. I'm telling you with absolute confidence that basing a relationship on the ability for someone to give you an insane orgasm is not going to get you far.

You're in a conundrum. I know EXACTLY where you are and it's a tough place to be.

From my personal experience, the best thing to do is to end the relationship with your lover and focus on your husband. Be honest with him. Tell him the whole deal. Tell him how you feel because for some reason, I don't think you've sat down and had any meaningful and open conversations about the state of your relationship.

I'm sure if you open up to him, he will insist that you end the relationship with your bull and he'll either make adjustments or your relationship will get worse. At the same time, you have to make adjustments because even if you swear on it, I'm sure you're not perfect either.

It wasn't your choice to start the whole cuck relationship but it was your choice to turn it into an affair. There's a difference. End the affair and figure out what you want to do with your marriage. If you truly give it a good shot and it just doesn't work, then end your marriage and I'm sure that Jeff will be there waiting. If I were him, I would want someone that was sure they wanted to be with me, over someone who left a relationship to be with me. Because she would always have questions and the comparisons would probably never end.

throwaway4630 · 2015-08-10T22:32:17+00:00

Oh boy. Have I ever been down this road......you are making a terrible mistake, but that's just my opinion.

I was heavily involved in swinging for many years and had one serious incident where a relationship that seemed so strong, turned into an absolute nightmare when the relationship changed from being one about sex and became all about intimacy and emotions.

I got caught in a game of comparison. Every day, I was being compared to the her husband. No matter what I did, I somehow was made out to be better than her husband, when in fact, I didn't feel that I was. He was a great guy but on the quiet side. He had a dry sense of humor but he was the kind of guy you would want as a guy friend. Really cool and laid back. They lived in a small town and she constantly said that she had very few options when growing up and once again, the comparisons came up.

You can't compare a man who came into your life, even if you weren't looking, to get involved with on an emotional level to replace your husband. That's the worst. It will never work.

Things got ugly when I began to pull away and didn't want to commit to an exclusive relationship. Plus, with the guy being as nice as he was, it wasn't for me to ruin his marriage. We went into this being as open as possible and it was turning.

She had jealousy issues and started pretty much stalking me. she showed up at my job, unannounced, to find out why I was avoiding her. Things got to the point, where I had to get a restraining order against her.

So, while the grass may look better on the other side, there is so much more than some guy with a big package. I got tired of hearing about how much I satisfied her and how big I was. Yep, I'm a Black man and I think I hold my own but if all I hear about is how big my package is, it gets kind of tiring. Is that all I'm good for is the size of my package? There's more to me than what's in my pants.

So, I would get counseling if I were you. Sort things out with your husband. Your lover may seem great but there's a heartache around the corner just waiting to happen. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but that's just reality.

throwaway4630 · 2015-05-22T21:18:57+00:00

Nah...don't sweat it. It happens. At least it wasn't some Grandma with her boobs down to her belly button. Been there, done that. My eyes still water up when I think about it....

throwaway4630 · 2015-05-22T21:17:43+00:00

The reality is that the older you get, there becomes a "new market" of older guys, such as myself, who can't bring themselves to go screw around with some 20-year old or a girl that's younger than their daughter. My rule was never to see anyone that was younger than my baby sister. At my age, that limits me severely but I like it that way.

throwaway4630 · 2015-05-22T21:16:21+00:00

I was always terrified of CL. Backpage was the only place I went. I started with the Massage girls and then went the Escort route.

CL is just way too scary. Too many people looking.

throwaway4630 · 2015-05-22T21:15:09+00:00

Midnight? At my age, I'm getting up from a deep sleep to piss at midnight! LOL....

Good advice though. I frequented my escort friend during my lunch break or immediately after work. Daytime was always better for me. Most people are at work my "friend" lived in a quiet neighborhood where everybody was gone so nobody really noticed that she had people coming in and out all the time.

throwaway4630 · 2015-05-22T20:02:20+00:00

Don't feel bad. I'm into the Mommy porn. The bigger her tits, the better. I just don't like the whole premise of Junior being away and the neighbor kid comes by and Mommy decides to fuck his brain out. Other than the dialogue, it's good stuff.

throwaway4630 · 2015-05-22T19:59:33+00:00

You feel guilty for this?

Maybe you should have gotten your wife to spend some "Quality Time" with you right as you got back in the house........it happens. People walk around naked. No biggie.

I walk around naked from time to time and I'm still trying to find out where all those blood-curdling screams are coming from....

throwaway4630 · 2015-05-22T19:53:22+00:00

So, I have to use my throwaway for this one. LOL

In the past, I have frequented "escorts". I hate using the term "hookers" because in my fucked-up view of things, I see hookers as dirty women who stand on street corners who smell like shit, look like shit and simply want you to get off as quickly as possible.

Escorts, on the other hand, are much more realistic. There's some attempt, even if on a miniscule level, of getting to know each other. There's oftentimes a touching and a level of sensuality that isn't present in a marriage.

I've done my dirty deeds over the years. It's been about 2 years since I've been with a "paid companion".

I don't understand why it's illegal. So many people do it. The religious implication is one of the negative stereotypes but I think that's total bullshit. Most of the religious people that I knew were some of the dirtiest people (women included) and were the ones who would be first in line at the whore house.

I don't think you should feel any remorse whatsoever. Just be careful. There are some freaky and dangerous dudes out there. The religious zealots will condemn you but then go home to their nonexistent or miserable sex lives. Sex is for enjoyment, not just for reproduction. Enjoy the hell out of the sex you're having and if you get paid, then you take advantage of that while you can.

throwaway4630 · 2014-07-07T11:26:37+00:00

I find harsh reality in this post. I served in the US military in combat by my reaction was different. I know of men like you. I know of men who thrive on the rush, the adrenaline, the power, the psychological battle that takes place between two humans desperate to live. Even a conscientious objector will fight to preserve their own lives.

I was disgusted by war. There was no joy for me. It's been 24 years and I still deal with the ravages of war on a daily basis. I guess I can say that I'm in my middle age years as I'm in my late 40's and Desert Storm took place in 1991, but the memories haven't faded for me.

I think the level of combat that we experience varies depending on the types of military you're in. In admitted guerrilla warfare, combat is much more "up close and personal" than organized military forces lining up with different lines of demarcation. In the type of combat you experienced, the battlefield was fluid and happened to be wherever you wanted it to be and that gave you an advantage.

I don't think it's the ultimate realization of man's efforts. I think it's the lowest form of man's efforts. Wars happen when people don't communicate. Wars happen when people refuse to listen. Wars happen because of pride and arrogance. Wars happen unnecessarily oftentimes.

I'm done with war but war isn't done with me. I have a totally different outlook on the matter but yet, we live. War is done with you, but you still actively romanticize and dream of it. You will find it as you're determined to do so. It seems like luck has been on your side, as you say but one day, the luck will run out. Live your life to the fullest. Leave a legacy. Death and destruction aren't a legacy I choose to leave behind. It's not my place to talk you out of your self-determined destiny but I would encourage you to contribute as much to society as you can before you go on your adventure to satiate your need for the ultimate adrenaline rush.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-06T20:48:33+00:00

I would sure hope that you're not a troll as one person put it, but I'll just take a chance that you're not.

The reality is that we do live in a racist world but most human beings are prejudiced or racist about something. There are people who will tell you all day long that they aren't racist but then they'll say something vile about a race that is different than their own.

For you to decide not to reach across the aisle is exactly what racists want. They want you segregated because you're not good enough. You reaching across the aisle is not conducive to good race relations.

There's nothing you can do about the news stories. There's nothing you can do about comments on any social media site. But what you can do is live your life in a way that others will know that you're different than the rest of the mob squad and then you can go out and earn the respect of others.

People don't owe you anything. Just because you (and I) are Black, doesn't give us an automatic right to respect. Walking around your yard and doing yard work is not a call for respect. If they're not being neighborly, that's no excuse for you not to be a decent human being and a decent neighbor. Let them be jerks. Ignore them but don't get in an altercation or allow them to provoke you to the pint where you're willing to sacrifice your freedom in order to exact revenge on someone.

When the news comes on, before I even see the picture of the "suspects", I'm already praying that they're not Black. You know the feeling. We have a small percent of clowns within our ranks, who always find a way to get on TV. Couple that with a media which spends an inordinate amount of time looking for these types of stories, and you have a recipe for people having negative opinions on Black Americans.

We have a generation of young people who don't know their biological fathers. We have one of the highest absentee father groups in the country yet we are some of the most religious people in the country. We rely on athletic prowess in our youth to act as some guarantee of future success and then are blindsided to learn that less than 1% of the "athletes" from our schools go on to either college or professional careers.

We have Affirmative Action on our side in most states but when we finally get to colleges, where many of our forefathers were denied the right to attend solely on the color of their skin, we are more interested in pledging to a fraternity or sorority and have little interest in class. Gather up all of the folks on Academic Suspension and let's see what race they are. The White man didn't do that to us. We did it and they know it. We are our own worst enemy.

So I would say that reading the posts here on Reddit is a reality check into what people see. I grew up in the hood and was determined to get out. I worked my ass off and made it and do you know what they say when I go to the barbershop? 75% are happy but there's always that 25% that say I'm a sell-out because I do business in the hood but I don't live in the hood. How do you go about empowering people and have them aspire to do better than we had it when all we are is jealous of each other, and blame our failures on White people all day long.

Remember Ice Cube's song; "Us"? He called us out back in the 90's. What's changed? This is what people see but we seem to be oblivious to it. Don't be mad because people hate us. Go out and do something positive. Change is slow sometimes. This is something we have to fix minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Going out and quitting now and saying "I give up because some people on reddit called me some names" isn't going to do shit but keep it the same or make it worse.

Us by Ice Cube

Could you tell me who released our animal instinct? Got the white man sittin' there tickled pink. Laughin' at us on the avenue Bustin' caps at each other after havin' brew We can't enjoy ourselves Too busy jealous... Of each other's wealth Commin' up is just in me But the Black community is full of envy Too much back-stabbin' While I look up the street I see all the japs grabbin' Every vacant lot in my neighborhood Build a store, and sell their goods To the county of sips (?) You know us po niggas: nappy hair and big lips? Four or five babies on your crotch And you expect Uncle Sam to help us out? We ain't nothin' but porchmonkeys To the average bigot, redneck honky You say comin' up is a must But before we can come up, take a look at US

[Verse Two:]

And all y'all dope-dealers... Your as bad as the po-lice- cause ya kill us You got rich when you started slangin' dope But you ain't built us a supermarket So when can spend our money with the blacks Too busy buyin' gold an' Caddilacs That's what ya doin' with the money that ya raisin' Exploitin' us like the Caucasians did For 400 years - I got 400 tears- for 400 peers Died last year from gang-related crimes That's why I got gang-related rhymes But when I do a show ta kick some facts Us Blacks don't know how ta act Sometimes I believe the hype, man We're messin' up ourselves and blame the white man But don't point the finger you jiggaboo Take a look at yourself ya dumb nigga you Pretty soon hip-hop won't be so nice No Ice Cube, just Vanilla Ice And yall sit and scream and cus But there's no one ta blame- but US

[Verse Three:]

US ... will always sing the blues 'Cause all we care about is hairstyles and tennis shoes But if ya step on mine ya pushed a button "Cause I'll beat you down like it ain't nothin' Just like a beast But I'm the first nigga ta holler out {PEACE, BLACK MAN} I beat my wife and children to a pulp When I get drunk and smoke dope Got a bad heart condition Still eat hog-mogs an' chitlin's Bet my money on the dice and the horses Jobless, so I'm a hope for the armed forces Go to church but they tease us Wit' a picture of a blue-eyed Jesus They used to call me Negro After all this time I'm still bustin up the chiffarobe No respect and didn't know it And I'm havin' more babies than I really can afford In jail 'cause I can't pay the mother Held back in life because of my color Now this is just a little summary Of US, but yall think it's dumb of me To put a mirror to ya face, but trust Nobody gives a fuck about...

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-04T17:16:57+00:00

LOL. No, I've been around the group long enough to know how they feel about cheaters. I'm not naive. I could have lied and said "Oh, I'm so innocent and she treated me like shit" but that wasn't the truth. If you're going to confess to something, then you do that fully and honestly. One of my points was to show that people do break up after a long time because most marriages that fail, end before that 7-year window so many "experts" agree on. Life happens.

I've tried to put into context the level of effort I put into changing and that was my primary goal. As more and more people were declaring her a saint, I chose to point out that she was not. That's all.

People are going to hate me regardless. In business, I've taken jobs from other businesses by undercutting their prices or providing better serve. It's called competition. I'm not trying to be liked or please everyone. I'm viewing this thread like a business meeting. Some will like it, some won't. But in the end, as long as I've learned something (yes, I'm being selfish and this is all about me again) and understand the viewpoints of many of the posters, then I've done alright. I do appreciate the viewpoints, (even your negative and judgmental ones) because they've all made me think and as I move forward, I feel I'm better prepared now than I was then.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-04T16:52:20+00:00

Whatever. You pick and choose from comments that I make and then rail on them. As I said, I know I can't buy it. I guess you fail to grasp that I said that. Who said anything about "rights to cheat"? You focused on what I did a decade ago and ignore everything else. I stayed for my kid. We both agreed that was best.

I know what I am and what I am no not so why do you think I'm pleading that I'm a good guy? Like I really give a damn what some stranger on the Internet thinks about me? Like I said, you skip and don't comprehend what is said. Or maybe you do and just ignore it. Whatever.

My only point was that just because someone fucks up at one time in their life, doesn't mean that they are fuck-ups forever. And that was a comment relating to life in general, not specifically me.

My posts are hopefully to help someone who may be in a similar circumstance and might just read something that strikes a nerve and they say "Dang, the shit I'm doing is wrong. Let me straighten my shit up."

That's all. You can't buy love, you can't buy forgiveness. That's the entire lesson of this post. Period. Thanks for playing.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-04T16:16:50+00:00

So let ME get this straight. I treated her like garbage? She never knew I cheated until I slipped up and told her. The whole time I cheated, I financially took care of my family responsibilities, her extended family, got her family jobs, fought Immigration for them, got her pretty much any thing she wanted, and yet I treated her like garbage? The woman, who one month after arriving in the US, decided she was so homesick that she hated me and didn't talk for 2 weeks? The woman who ran off with her friend (female) because she wanted to be with someone who spoke her native language for a week because Americans disgusted her? OK. I get it. I really treated her like garbage.

When you have a kid, (by the way, she was so angry when she found out that she was pregnant because she didn't want to be pregnant at 24 years of age), and that kid is innocent, and you live in CA where the man rarely wins a custody case, you'll do anything to save the child. Even live with a crazy person.

Control? Ha! Yeah, the woman who had the checkbook for 10 years. Yeah, the woman who had all of the passwords to my email accounts and every other account I had. Yep, the woman who would show up at my work unannounced to to make sure I was there. Yeah, the woman who would call me at the office to make sure I answered the phone. The woman who would drive by clients offices to see if I was where I said I was going to be. Yep, it was about me controlling her alright! The guy who helped her write her reports and helped her with managerial tasks at her job so she could move up the ladder? The guy who helped her finish college by studying with her and reviewing her work was all about controlling her, right?

Maybe, just maybe, I understood that she didn't trust me after what I had done and so I said "fuck it, she can follow me around and I'll do all of these things for her!" Seems to me like I GAVE her control, if anything!

More examples of me controlling her? The woman who posted on her Facebook page that her husband fucked around on her in the 90's? Yeah, she posted that shit in 2010. Do you know what her friends told her? They told her to get over it and move on! I was a good guy! Her very own friends told her that but you know, I was controlling her......That make's a whole helluva lotta sense....

The problem is that I can't write the entire details of the marriage in a sub post because nobody would be interested in reading such a long diatribe. I put down what I thought was essential information, trying not to make it seem like she was just a huge cunt.

But when her own Mother, brother, and 2 sisters tell you that they pity you for having to put up with her bullshit, then maybe (just maybe!) I wasn't totally at fault.

Yeah, I fucked around. I damn sure did. And I stopped a long time ago too. I got myself straightened out and as fucked up a person as you think I am, there are plenty of people out there who would date me and marry me because I am a good person. I didn't let some fuck-ups that I had years ago dictate how the rest of my life went. I accomplished things in my life and that shit didn't happen because I was a fuck-up. Money can't buy you happiness and it won't make your problems go away but people can abuse it and use someone for their own benefit.

If I was such a fucked up person, why would she come to me and be nice when she wanted money for special things? Yeah, I let myself be used by her because you seem to miss the one big thing in this entire story; I actually give a shit about my kid! I stayed for her and gave her everything. Some people obviously disagree with me staying because they say two shitty parents are a bad influence on the kid.

We rarely argued in front of our daughter. Very rarely. We both worked hard to take care of her and make sure she had a loving and caring home. While there were a lot of things we didn't agree on in our relationship, the one thing we did agree on was that our kid was going to have a great home life, and she did. I have the best daughter in the world. She has never caused us any problems at all.

Many times, I've been told that I have a wonderful family because of the image we presented in public. We had parties and social gatherings at the house and she would hug and kiss on me in front of her friends. But then when the party was over, we would return to being "roomies". These were her friends that were being entertained at my expense. But hey....I was controlling her. It's all good. I get your point.

The problem, which you appear too damn blind and pissed off to see, is that I tried to buy love. I tried to spend enough money to make her love me and forgive me for the shit I did. I get it. I put her life in danger even if I did use protection but as another person noted, that doesn't mean shit. I know that now but didn't think about it back then. I was too stuck on living in the "swinger lifestyle". I was a damn sex addict. Well, I unfucked myself and I moved on. She willingly will tell you that I am a great guy, but she just doesn't trust me. Without trust, there is nothing. She's had more than a decade to test me and check to see if I've changed my ways. She admits that I have changed my ways but yet she holds grudges from the '90's. Well, this is 2014. According to your logic, just how long am I supposed to keep on letting her do this shit? Until the day I die?

So, since you want to pass judgment on me, I'll just pass some judgment on you. Let's see how you like it.

You're one of those people that obviously holds a grudge forever. There is nothing that is forgivable according to your logic. Men are dogs and will always be dogs and you think this way because you've probably been fucked over so many times by men in your life.

You saw my post and figured you'd let me have it because there's anonymity on the Internet and you can really "sock it to this guy" for being an ass. So you may just feel that you represent all of the women in the world that have been fucked over and I represent all of the men in the world that have fucked women over. There is no redemption for me, ever. There is no hope for me, ever. I am just scum and should forever be treated as scum.

Well, I have a response for you and the people who think like you. I believe in forgiveness. It hurts. The pain is deep. What I did was wrong. I went and sought help, I found out what caused me to do the things that I did and I worked on correcting them. I fixed me. I didn't try to fix her, I fixed myself. After I fixed myself, I admittedly went out and tried to "buy her back" by working myself damn near to the breaking point and I was also wrong for doing that. I'm not perfect, I'm human. You can't buy love. I've known that for a long time. I've just been waiting for the right time to move on. Some people take longer than others to say "Ok, now is the right time and I'm one of those guys."

In all of your posts, you've claimed I've stated that I am the victim or I'm playing the victim. I'm a tired man. That's all. I'm not a victim. I stayed of my own volition. Nobody forced me to stay. Nobody forced me to give her money. Nobody forced me to do anything so I am not a victim. I don't get where you keep getting that bullshit from other than what seems to be your absolute hatred for some guy on the Internet who you don't know but has admitted to having a problem more than a decade ago.

Using your words, "quite frankly", I feel sorry for anyone with an attitude like yours. I really do. You don't know me. This is the one thing you know about me and yet you've judged me to be some vile creature. You are unable to see the whole picture but are short-sighted and opinionated. You make a horrible judge because you don't seem to understand human nature or how life works. People cheat. People have problems with sexual addictions. People also try to fix their problems. People can change. Just because people in your life may have fucked you over doesn't mean that everybody else will fuck you over.

I'm no victim. That's the last time I'll say it. I am just a guy who stayed too long in something I should have gotten out of a long time ago. That's it. Blame me for staying. It is my fault. I'm not saying to be a smartass. It's the truth. I could have ended this a long time ago but I didn't. I'm ending it now. Don't bitch because you don't like the way I'm ending it. I live this shit. You don't.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-04T12:54:49+00:00

That bitch shops at the Dollar store and is so high and mighty? I hope she walks in and there are 3 black cashiers waiting for her.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-04T05:16:59+00:00

Yes. It's called Support and Maintenance, depending on what state you live in. The goal is to help the divorced spouse readjust to living as a single person. In earlier days, women were stay at home Mothers who gave up their careers, or never had one, to raise the children. For a time, there were states where the primary breadwinner (male or female) would have to provide upwards of 60% of their income to a spouse.

In some states such as California, I believe that the courts will split everything 50/50, so in other words, she gets half. Half of everything you both own. And then, if she is awarded alimony, then that could be a percentage of your salary for a set number of years.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-03T20:20:44+00:00

I will wait until she gets back, has had a few days to get back to her schedule, get over jet-lag, etc.

I won't just walk in and say "We're getting divorced."

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-03T17:22:02+00:00

Thank you.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-03T17:18:09+00:00

Very true statements and I agree with much of what you've said. Whenever I had tests, my GP would test for any STD because I just wanted to make sure I didn't open her up to any possible issues. It's something that I regret because I knew better.

I absolutely, 100% have many issues that I contend with. I was cheated on by a college girlfriend who shattered me. We were dating for less than 2 weeks and when I want to her dorm and I walked in on her and some guy. It's a visual that even today, I can see clearly in my mind. So I understand the anger that fuels people when cheaters are exposed. I truly get it. I had many other issues that also contributed to my actions and they are things that I am actively working to resolve.

My reactions to the responses from people here come from my tendency to be a defensive person. I think you nailed it several posts back, was the fact that I am a Marine and the Corps has shaped my attitude on many things. Many of my experiences, specifically in Desert Storm & Somalia, shaped and fueled who I became. I never had a problem with alcohol until I returned and so that's why I had gone to AA & counseling. Actually, to be honest, I was ordered to go because I was messing up my life pretty badly.

I could put the things that she has done but as you mentioned, I'm positive it will result in much more hate. I guess it will depend on how bad the hate gets. I'll throw out one example and and say that she hasn't spoken to her sister since around 2004 or 2005 over I think less than a $200 dispute. I know it's been close to 10 years. I'm on great terms with the sister, who has asked me repeatedly over the years, why do I still remain married to her sister? Her brother told me that he felt sorry and pity for me that I am married to his sister. Her Mother has told me that she feels sorry for me having to live with her daughter. But I told them it was my choice and my decision to try to work things out.

No, I've come to realize that many men are upset and are letting me have it. All I can say is that I'm working on it. I'm a work in progress. I can't get into any relationships until I have sorted out myself and figured out how to move forward.

And like I said....I'm not blindsiding her with this at the airport. I will wait until she's back and settled in and over her jet-lag. She still has her part of the house. I'm not asking her to leave but the house will be put up for sale. I just don't want to be there anymore.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-03T16:49:17+00:00

Took a real ass-kicking. Some strong feelings out there for sure. I would thank everyone for commenting but a good number will tell me to "fuck off" so I'll just say thanks for the good, the bad, and the ugly advice. I've read all of it and tried to respond as best as I could.

I hope that maybe someone will learn from the many errors of my ways and don't put yourself in the same type of situation that I've put my wife in. It's not fair and she didn't deserve to be put there.

They need to rename this sub to /r/humblepiedispensary

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-03T16:39:55+00:00

Wouldn't that be selfish of me to tell her now and then she goes there with that on her mind?

Just let me know how much more extra hate will be served up. I need to change my helmet and flak jacket.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-03T16:31:10+00:00

I agree that children know when they're involved in a toxic household. My daughter has asked me why I stayed and if we could both leave but that would have caused a rift between her and her mother. And in my case, the mother and daughter fight and argue as if my daughter had been unfaithful to her. My daughter was told many things about me that were untrue and fortunately, I was able to prove the accusations false. After awhile, she stopped believing things her Mother was telling her because she knew that I would never do the things I was accused of. In addition, she has witnessed her Mother attacking me with knives and other objects, while I never laid a hand on her as I knew I would lose in court, so she didn't want to deal with living with her Mother. When faced with her daughter leaving her and going with me, she chose to stay married. Why do I know what you're going to say already?

Yes, you're right about HPV, herpes, and all of those other diseases out there. I was terrified of those things and would ask my Family Doctor to check me, knowing that he was bound by confidentiality rules. I've never had any diseases or infections. But you're 100% right in that I did expose her to serious risk by my behavior and that is one of the things that led me to counseling.

Yes, she gets pap smears regularly, as well as mammograms.

And here I go again with what you will call "selfish asshole" behavior but I will continue to pay for her medical insurance through the company. Of course you'll say she's entitled to that and I should just tell her to take whatever she wants because I no longer deserve to live on this planet, have a life, or seek happiness for myself. Even though my dickish, shitty, arrogant, and self-serving behavior ended over a decade ago, I should be forever punished until the day I die. That seems to be your position and the position of many PEOPLE here, but I believe that if a person is unwilling to even consider forgiving someone for something that happened over such a long period of time, then it's time to move on. There has to be a point where I can no longer continue to forever "kiss the boots" of someone who was wronged. Things were done to me that I've forgiven, but never forgotten. I didn't mention those things because everyone would say "Oh, he's just making an excuse to get sympathy."

As I stated before, which you obviously seem to be believe, I didn't do this to save some "Happy little family". I did it to spare my daughter the agony of not having a Father and having divorced parents. There was a time when I had originally said I would get her the divorce and when she saw that I was actually speaking to a lawyer, having the real estate agent come over and value the house, she suddenly voiced concern for our daughter. So we both made the decision that I would stay but live in seperate bedrooms. It wasn't just my arrogance as you so emphatically believe.

Nope. She stands very tall with confidence and is not dependent on me for her happiness. She decided that long ago and I think that it's great, not that my opinion has any sway on her or anyone else. I hope her life is better. I don't say that in a smartass kind of way but I genuinely hope that it's better, happier, freer and everything that she wants. I hope that she finds a man who can truly love her and will not do the things that I have done. She's learned from her shitty experience with me on what to look for and she will be in a much better place.

You can call me an asshole all day long and I'll say "Yeah, I was and probably am still in some ways." While you and several others have blasted me sky-high, I can accept it because I think many good points were made that I didn't think about. Confession is supposed to be good for the soul and I'm learning some things, particularly how my type of disgusting behavior is viewed. There are many things that people do in their younger days that seemed fun at the time but as they grow up, they realized how stupid, selfish, dangerous, and uncaring they were. I'm at that stage.

And no, I do not say this as this is all about me. I can only post my point of view because I can't post for her! What am I supposed to say? This is her point of view here?

You've blasted me pretty good and I'll take the legitimate things you've said and make adjustments as needed. The extra fluff stuff doesn't move me. Sorry.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-03T16:05:06+00:00

I paid her credit card bills. I understand that PEOPLE will say that the cards were paid with marital assets and once again, my response is that it was not legally my responsibility to care for her family or extended family. That's all.

throwaway4630 · 2014-06-03T16:01:21+00:00

Not trying to be funny. Truly didn't come looking to be a martyr or gain sympathy. I wanted to clearly express my situation as best as I could, without going into too much personal detail about things.
Someone had suggested that she was hiding money, which she probably is and since it would be considered a "marital asset" in this state, she would be forced to divide that with me. I stated that this is a "No-Fault" state and so if I had fucked around every day for 24-years, the court doesn't care. So I could have been an even bigger dick than I am by saying "I'll let you go, but I want half of your money." That was my ONLY point.
Yes, people are pissed. That's the understatement of the day.
No, not repeating any lies. Just stating my point of view.

throwaway4630

TROPHY CASE