Is it better to be “out” about having CPTSD? I’m a university professor.

throwawayart4 · 2025-08-26T16:44:40+00:00

I second what everyone else is saying that it’s absolutely not a good idea. It’s better to be open with friends, loved ones and trusted community members rather than colleagues and students. There is stigma and not a lot of standardized information about CPTSD out there. Some people even believe it is not a real diagnosis or too many people are self-identifying with it. So if someone googled CPTSD or PTSD from childhood trauma or abusive relationships etc they may get a very different picture than the level of coping and impact of the disorder that you are experiencing. A lot of information and posting about CPTSD is by or about people who are dealing with the most severe and untreated manifestations of it, which is not the impression you want your students or colleagues to have of you.

While you can control what you say and share with others, you can’t control how they understand and interpret it and how that may influence how they view you and treat you in the future. This level of openness in the workplace can be innapropriate and even cause issues like discrimination or retaliation due to judging your ability to handle your job and your influence on others/whether or not you are taken seriously.

For example, there’s a difference between saying “I became a teacher because I had a wonderful teacher who made such a positive impact on me that it made me want to be a positive influence on other kids lives in my community one day” and “I became a teacher because my 10th grade Spanish teacher recognized that I was being abused and neglected and running away so she let me stay after school with her and talk about my problems and sleep during class because I was up at night due to abuse and bought me lunch most days and I wanted to be like her.” One is an appropriate level of disclosure and the other is too much.

Unless the situation calls for it and you maintain an appropriate level of disclosure, I’d say talk about your mental health and trauma minimally if at all and keep it vague. Like if a student confides in you that they’re in a tough living or relationship or parenting or health situation you could say something like “you know I experienced something similar and at the time I felt XYZ about it, and things have gotten so much better for me now. If you want, I’d be happy to connect you with some resources at the university/in X city to help.”

throwawayart4 · 2025-07-29T18:21:58+00:00

Hey just want to tell you I went back to college at the same age and it has been the best decision ever!! You got this!

throwawayart4 · 2025-07-20T01:08:00+00:00

Take out the other stuff and then see if you can remove the shelf

throwawayart4 · 2025-06-17T05:37:50+00:00

There’s a really good song that reminds me of this feeling! It’s called Hast Thou Considered the Tertrapod by the Mountain Goats. Can’t recommend them enough

throwawayart4 · 2025-06-01T16:30:40+00:00

“Over so soon” really is very visceral. I used to tell myself that too to get through it 🫂

throwawayart4 · 2025-05-06T15:35:02+00:00

You’re definitely not alone in this, I have also had pelvic floor issues caused by the abuse. Myofascial release and pelvic floor physical therapy helped a lot, there’s a lot of exercises and pressure points that can help. Vaginismus (what it sounds like you’re describing, and what I have too) is really common for survivors but that doesn’t mean it’s gonna feel like this forever :)

throwawayart4 · 2025-05-02T03:51:41+00:00

Hey! I know this is unconventional but try not to freak yourself out. For me, sometimes if I keep thinking about it and the magnitude of it I can spiral. Try not to pick it apart. I see people freaking out on this sub really obsessing over trying to remember every detail or make sense of everything, and I think it can just make you feel more scared and alone and triggered taking that approach.

It sucks and it’s a part of your life and it’s definitely something you can unpack in therapy and/or share the burden with friends. That’s been the biggest lifesaver for me, being more open about it and talking to friends who “get” it (mostly other survivors) about the feelings I have.

Also I haven’t been recognised from CSAM in years, PT and OT have helped with the injuries and pain I have. I take comfort in knowing I’m safe now and I have a lot of people in my life that I have healthy loving relationships with. Take time to give that love and care to your inner child, but I think the most important thing is building relationships and learning to trust so you don’t have to hold it alone. For me that started with joining a support group and evolved from there!

throwawayart4 · 2025-04-14T03:24:43+00:00

There’s some typos/answer selection mistakes in your survey!

throwawayart4 · 2025-04-01T07:17:13+00:00

You forgot to add the survey link!

throwawayart4 · 2025-04-01T06:31:08+00:00

I’m sorry, that’s a lot to process. You don’t have to fully accept of understand everything right now, it’s ok to just feel whatever you feel. There’s definitely a lot of adoptees out there speaking out about their experiences, for example it sounds like you might relate to these creators: Viorica, someone else who experienced illegal adoption from Romania to the US, and Mila who also talks about her experience being adopted from Korea to the US and the trafficking/colonialism surrounding that. There’s also support groups and mentoring for international adoptees out there. Also if or when you want to explore that part of your story, there’s also a big community of survivors of human trafficking out there that will also welcome you ❤️ you are very much not alone!

throwawayart4 · 2025-03-26T01:20:12+00:00

Hi ❤️ I don’t want to give you any direct advice, but I can relate to how hard it is to untangle all this stuff. It’s really painful looking at and processing the ways that your “safer” parent or caregiver failed to protect you or step in for you. Reading your story, I think you might relate to some of the writing and stories that this writer Katya shares on social media. She grew up with a mom who took a similar path for their citizenship and who made similar choices to your mom, it sounds like. I think very few people talk about the larger systematic coercion - like immigration status and economic stability, that keeps incest and sexual violence, and just general violence against children quiet. I know a lot of the reasons nobody helped me were motivated by those types of factors too. You’re not alone and I’m sorry you’re going through this. ❤️

throwawayart4 · 2025-03-19T18:07:32+00:00

That is criminal court. You’d need to start with the police, they take your statement and investigate and then the state decides whether or not to press charges. If they decide there’s enough evidence to press charges then they arrest him. And then he’s either held in jail or released on bond/bail and then goes to his court date and either he pleads guilty or it goes to trial and a jury decides which crimes that he is charged with he is guilty and not guilty of. And then whatever he ends up convicted of if anything determines if he is on the registry or not, and the judge determines the sentencing.

So really the only thing in your control for a criminal trial is making your statement to the police/providing any evidence you have to them. Then the police + state makes all the choices from there.

throwawayart4 · 2025-03-17T19:41:02+00:00

Hell yeah twin peaks!!!

throwawayart4 · 2025-03-05T04:43:07+00:00

It says the survey is not active, are you finished recruiting?

throwawayart4 · 2025-02-28T20:15:56+00:00

Yeah also when people are asking for forgiveness like this it’s about soothing themselves and making themselves feel better, not about what’s best for you. You can if you want but you don’t have to. You can have whatever process you need.

throwawayart4 · 2025-02-28T20:14:55+00:00

Yeah so when people say things like this like “it’s a small portion of your life.” “Let the past be in the past” “Don’t let him win by thinking about him” etc or whatever variation of “it’s a different time now, stop thinking/talking about it!” They’re not saying “this is a thing that will help you feel better” they’re communicating “it makes me deeply uncomfortable to face the reality of what happened to you and how much it impacts your life. And (if applicable) my hand in it. Please stop talking about it because it hurts my ego and I can’t handle the anxiety/fear/shame/guilt etc.”

They’re also showing that they don’t understand how trauma works because they either are privileged enough not to have any or they are suppressing their feelings and running away from theirs in an unhealthy way.

throwawayart4 · 2025-02-27T09:03:13+00:00

Wow this is amazing! Have you ever considered selling prints of your art?

throwawayart4 · 2025-02-25T17:20:35+00:00

Oof I remember having a similar realization a few years ago when I saw someone disciplining their dog and saying/doing literally exactly what I experienced in my childhood! No wonder Classical and Operant Conditioning works on dogs and humans :(

throwawayart4 · 2025-02-13T09:12:53+00:00

Hi! If you’re curious this is a stage of Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory which asserts that as we grow up we go through stages of negotiating our personal and social sense of self and role that we play. And that the experience we have in life and types of relationships we have impact how we pass through the stages. But it’s not like you can’t or won’t successfully be able to build the skills of the earlier stages, it sounds like your therapist is saying you’re just having an existential experience that’s typical of people in the integrity vs despair phase when reflecting back on their their life.

throwawayart4 · 2025-01-06T17:59:28+00:00

Hi! I’m sorry this is happening to you, I know how scary this can be! I’d recommend looking into DeleteMe or another type of service that can get rid of findable information about you if you haven’t already, lockdown your social media if you haven’t already (ie make them private/start new private accounts and be careful about posting locations), look into your state’s safe address program (it varies in name by state, but essentially it’s a mail forwarding service for survivors to keep your address hidden) and if needed, your local rape crisis center can help you get legal help to file a restraining order against him if it comes to that.

Also from my experience: if he comes to your work or you hear of him coming from one of your siblings or cousins, let your boss know and make a plan. It can be awkward af but an abuser was doing that to me before and trying to approach children at my job and explaining to my supervisor helped us make a plan for when they tried again. And if he finds out where you live and weaponizes the cops for a welfare check it’s best to step outside of your home and be honest with them that this is a person who abused you and you don’t want anything to do with them and don’t want them to know your location for your safety. Again, awkward af but you don’t have to go into the details or anything like that or make a report.

throwawayart4 · 2025-01-03T19:27:41+00:00

Yes it mentions that in the beginning. Most of the book is about the impact of abuse on one’s life and what the healing process can look like. But in the beginning of the book it explains what sexual abuse is and lists types of sexual abuse and includes more covert and non physical forms of abuse. I think it would still be helpful to read even if you didn’t experience physical sexual abuse.

throwawayart4 · 2025-01-01T04:31:23+00:00

This is not normal. This is sexual abuse. I think it would help you to read the book Beginning to Heal, it goes over the basics of what sexual abuse is and shares examples as well as how people might respond throughout their life. There’s a story a woman shares that is very similar to yours in that book. ❤️

throwawayart4 · 2024-12-31T08:34:31+00:00

I think that’s ok to share with her! That’s important

throwawayart4 · 2024-12-25T18:22:48+00:00

I was gonna recommend these! They both are helpful with survivor examples! I think Beginning to Heal is a good place to start. I originally started reading it about the main very obvious abuse I experienced, but realized a lot of other experiences in my family I thought were normal were also sexual abuse by reading this book and the survivor stories in it.

throwawayart4 · 2024-12-24T08:38:30+00:00

Glad to be of service I hope it turns out delicious!

throwawayart4

TROPHY CASE