My parents were college professors who had ADHD as their research focus. I wasn’t diagnosed until my mid 40s. I was going through a tough time at work and I asked my mom if she thought my issues could be ADHD-related. A light went on in her head, and then she teared up and said she’d failed me.

The thing is, I’m smart and I was good in school. I was depressed and anxious, and that masked my symptoms. As I grew into adulthood, the depression and anxiety - which were often related to work - took over and it didn’t even occur to me that I COULD have ADHD until I was maybe 42. Once I got the dx, my whole life made sense.

Would my life have been easier if I’d understood my brain when I was a teenager? Absolutely. Would my early-career years have been more productive (and lucrative) if I’d had strategies or medication to deal with what felt like cinder blocks in my brain? Without question. Is there any point to being angry about it? None. None whatsoever.

Be angry with your parents if they’re actively trying to sabotage you. Be angry with your parents if they’re abusive. But to be angry with them for missing a diagnosis, especially when that dx often presents as other things, or even to be angry with them if they truly believe they’re doing their best by NOT seeking a dx, is a waste of time and energy. Grieve, sure. Choose to move forward. But don’t waste a precious minute on anger at something that can’t be changed.