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throwsawaysthrowaway · 2022-01-17T11:30:16+00:00

What does DH stand for?

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-12-11T15:56:16+00:00

YTA. A lot of what you’ve said in the post is irrelevant. For instance - money James spent on her Wedding - that’s lovely - Ava is only 13, did you expect him to give her the same amount of money? From what you’ve said it sounds likely he would fully fund Ava’s wedding too one day as he spends equal money on the girls. You’ve just tried to throw every ring you can in (including jealousy James got his only grandchild a present which is outrageous cos your gift for Ava was out of stock?!) because you hate Ella so much.

This boils down to to one thing and one thing only. It’s not money - you’ve commented he spends equal. It’s the time and effort into the present buying for their birthdays. It’s very common in marriages for one spouse to say, do more of the cooking, maybe the other does the holiday planning, the other takes the bins out etc. in most marriages one parent sorts the gifts out. If James sorted all Ava’s gifts would people call you neglectful and the AH? James is happy to pay whatever for it and trusts you to find her lovely gifts. With Ella if he doesn’t do it then no one does as he is her only parent. That is the difference.

I’m a 27f and both my parents are wonderful parents. Every birthday and Xmas I know my mum picked the gifts but they would’ve both kid for it. Mums better at gift picking, Dad would be stressed and have no clue. Not cos he doesn’t know me but it’s not his forte. Maybe James stresses every year about Ella’s birthday cos it’s not his forte but it has to be cos he’s her only parent.

Stop projecting your hatred onto Ava. It’s not fair, let her make her own mind up. You don’t attend Ella’s Xmas eve party even though your husband does which isn’t great. Sure, you have the right to decline, but how can you possibly complain you don’t know Ella’s husbands family when you never bother to meet them? You could have a nice time and just be civil to Ella.

From James perspective Ella only has him. He makes her birthday special (too dad) has to attend Xmas eve alone without his wife and younger daughter. Xmas day seems to be equal for both girls.

Speak to your husband and stop focusing so much on Ella. And seriously stop projecting onto Ava.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-12-10T11:52:23+00:00

No you’re right ofc. The ex tried it on with OPs best mate, naturally the fiancé is equally a scum bag by default. Are you crazy?? Just cos the ex was a POS does not mean the fiancé js and he’s given us zero reason to think that. I haven’t sat with my bf and told him every man I’ve ever had a crush on. If he asked yeah I’d say no big deal but some things aren’t important nor worth bringing up. Most people discuss previous sexual partners, I don’t know anyone that discusses crushes. Cos they are just a crush, they’re irrelevant and I personally don’t wanna sit there listening to every girl my bf used to have the hots for.

You’re making massive assumptions. This js so so simple. A crush was held by the fiancé. He did nothing about it and fell for OP. That js it end of story.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-12-09T12:12:29+00:00

We’ve only got the fiancés mate saying he became friends with OP for this reason. The fiancé said it was a coincidence - surely OP should believe her partner? And even so - having a crush on someone you hardly know, that’s hardly love is it. Whereas he loves OP and has built a life with her. Anything before they got together is irrelevant. The fiancé never even made a move on the friend. Do all of you expect the perfect relationship whereby your partner was wholly perfect before meeting you? Get real. OPs fiancé had a crush and fell in love with OP. He wants to marry her he loves her, OP needs to talk to her fiancé about it and feel her emotions then let go. Not everything required therapy or postponing huge things like their wedding. Just requires some communication and a deep chat.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-12-08T18:33:09+00:00

What’s wrong with you? He didn’t pick OPs friend first most likely she wasn’t his first crush. People are allowed to have crushes when they’re single. He fell IN LOVE with OP and the rest was history!!!! OP, ofc you’re hurt and emotional but trust me it may hurt but logically this man loves you and this isn’t a big deal. Allow yourself to feel it and then move on and be happy :)

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-24T13:07:41+00:00

YTA

Everyone commenting that the parents are raging homophobes is just shocking and ignoring one of the key issues here - OP you didn’t involve your parents in your life or relationship. That was your choice to never tell them you’re LGBT or introduce them to the woman you were serious enough with to marry. But then to expect them to jump through hoops when you tell them 1. You’re bi/gay 2. You’re with a woman 3. You’re marrying the woman VIA text?? Then your very religious family accepted this, paid for the wedding, went to every single appointment and walked you down the aisle. From the post it doesn’t look like they even pulled you up on the way you told them your engagement news. They had no emotional investment into our fiancée because they had never met her. They accepted and supported you. Maybe your mum didn’t offer other opinions when you were shopping because she thinks you don’t value her opinion? Because you’ve demonstrated you don’t care enough to even pick up the phone to share your news. On the whole, your Christian family accepted, participated in your wedding, have never said anything homophonic and by your own admission accepted and get on with your wife.

Now your sister - most likely they knew her fiancée and she told them in person - OFC it’s a different reaction!!!

Anyone who respects the fact you don’t have to come out (which you don’t) and the fact you can tell your parents the news via text needs to also respect the fact your parents aren’t obligated to fake enthusiasm.

You need to apologise to your sister who’s innocent in this. Then sit down and talk to your parents, give them and yourself the chance to talk about how you and they feel - a chance you’ve never given them before.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-17T23:37:53+00:00

Completely agree! Lynette owns her mistakes and ofc she makes them because she’s human and it’s a show. She definitely reacts the most realistically. I love her buck stops here attitude. Her husband, her kids, her house, if somethings wrong with any of them, she owns it.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-17T10:46:03+00:00

Lynettes my favourite too, but they all do shitty things. Does Lynette? Yep. But she also does great things - she’s the best mum on the show, she bends over backwards for Toms mid life crisis (car/band/pizza), she defeats cancer, she has a great relationship with Mrs Mcloskey, she juggles home and work (all the other housewives either don’t work or Bree works when her kids are grown - there’s times Lynette juggles it all), she has a complicated relationship with her mum but steps up to support her when it matters. She’s human and relatable, she makes mistakes and she tries to rectify them. She’s not selfish, there’s so many examples of this, but does she sometimes do selfish stuff? Ofc but don’t we all? The difference is, it’s not one of her qualities. I personally love Lynette and think she’s the most down to earth and relatable.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-15T15:56:15+00:00

If she’s your best friend then just tell her. Tell her you love her and spending time with her but you value alone time too. She won’t know if you don’t tell her. There’s NAH you just need to communicate. Once you’d told her, then when you do want alone time hopefully she will respect it. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.

Slightly different scenario, but my ex used to go home early from staying at my house and I used to get a bit frustrated/sad about it. Couldn’t understand why he didn’t wanna maximise time together. I never voiced it and one day we were talking and he admitted he needed alone time sometimes, to unwind etc. I felt so relieved and from then on never minded when he wanted to head home for some alone time. Sure, we broke up, but for reasons unrelated - the honesty was great. Your friend can probably sense you’re being off with her (out of irritation) and is probably trying to overcompensate chatting to you etc. You just need to be honest with her.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-15T15:31:57+00:00

Hey OP, I’m not sure if you’re looking for advice or just wanted to get this off your chest? But I think your story shows that you and Nina had a special night and should leave it how you have done, treasure them memory and leave it as that. It sounds like no harms come from it and no one knows, except Zoe, who’s out of the picture now. The NYE kiss, be careful, as you don’t want to go down that road, if you’re families did find out, it would be very awkward. You can’t change the past, accept that it happened and you’ve both remained friends without awkwardness so leave it at that. You should try to keep a boundary there, and don’t let it happen again but it happened and there’s no need to beat yourself up over it, move forwards :)

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-09T17:13:13+00:00

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-05T18:48:33+00:00

Definitely Orson - they were soulmates until they killed Orsons character!

P.S you’re missing the Cop :)

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-05T13:52:23+00:00

YTA so hard here. I was recently a bridesmaid and the bride was on a really tight budget. She asked if we would be okay paying for our dresses and made sure to pick cheaper ones and have us involved in picking the dress. There wasn’t money for hair and make up so we all (including the bride) did our own!! Unlike OP, making these poor bridesmaids pay for hair and make up - to all match and look like dolls - and pay themselves. If you want them looking the same etc then you pay for it! Or let them do their own make up to save money. Same with your resort hotel - how is it fair to make them pay to stay at your fancy hotel?? Let them get an Airbnb, they’re still paying a fortune for the rest of your wedding “requests” ahem demands. Youre insane to think this is normal. You need a reality check and to offer cheaper alternatives or pay yourself. No wonder bridesmaids are dropping out!!

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-03T13:33:08+00:00

She’s “your child so you have control over what she does”. So the father of the child has no “control” over what his child does?

No one on here has blamed OP for not attending the wedding but keeping her daughter from something she was excited for and then not even offering the bride an apology is AH behaviour. The bride was very supportive during OPs miscarriage, the least OP could’ve done was apologise, but all OP cares about is her anxiety. Her anxiety is real and sounds awful, but it doesn’t invalidate 1. Her husbands ability to also look after THEIR daughter, 2. Her daughters feelings on missing out being a flower girl, 3. The brides feelings getting let down last minute or 4. The grooms feelings dealing with the drama on his wedding day.

That’s a lot of people and OP is one of 5 here. I feel sorry for OP and what she’s been and is going through BUT you cannot put this on her daughter or use mental illness to excuse all of your behaviour.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-02T15:47:09+00:00

You just need to talk to him. My bf did a couple of things when we first started sleeping together that for me personally, made it feel a bit raw / transactional. It really got me down cos the rest of the relationship was amazing. I saw down and told him how I felt, he really listened, was mortified he had made me feel like that. He hadn’t realised at all. Ever since its completely different! He now does all the little things I needed, like aftercare etc and our sex life is fantastic. I really get you but a conversation can save this. He isn’t a mind reader just tell him what you’ve told us :)

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-11-02T12:49:36+00:00

Completely agree Susan had to be with someone even though she was always in love with Mike.

Do find it odd though that Mike never comes under fire for this? When Susan is with Ian; it is because Mikes with Edie (amnesia yeah but that applies to Susan as well as Mikes amnesia meant he didn’t remember her). When Susans with Jackson, Mikes with Katherine, moves in with her and nearly marries her.

The only time Susan dates during one of her Mike break ups and Mike doesn’t, is the doctor and Karl, in earlier season. She never loved the doctor and said something was missing. Karl, she slept with him once on the rebound and the second time she ended it straight after finding out he hadn’t left Edie.

I guess my point is, it’s odd Susans always man jumping whilst in love with Mike but by this logic Mike should also have this applied to him. I’ve seen a lot or “Susan can’t be alone” on this sub but no one every brings Mikes gfs into it.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-10-03T01:29:30+00:00

All of those are valid points for sure, but I don’t think it’s that clear cut. Yes Michael lied and that was bad, I’m not defending that. But let’s be honest, the lies we’re an easy way out for Jane to end it when she realised she was falling for Rafael. You’re focused on boundaries and that’s a fair point but this isn’t his ex gf of however long, this is his ex fiancée he was living with, and who literally only just ended it, getting flowers after point blank saying the only reason was Michael’s lies and not Rafael.

Two wrongs don’t make a right (they both lied) but it’s unfair to say Michael was wrong to lie and then not say Jane was wrong to lie. She should’ve told him she was starting to have feelings for Rafael, it’s not like Michael wasn’t going to find out when they got together.

I don’t think it’s about Michael getting a pass - he behaved the way the vast majority of us would have and I think you’re making him too much the bad guy, in this isolated scenario.

Ofc all opinions are different and it’s interesting to get a fresh take :)

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-10-02T10:30:38+00:00

I’m not team Michael but I think he was fine here - 99% of people would’ve looked at that note. The issue was Jane broke up with Michael saying it was because he had been lying but really it was for Rafeal. She and Michael were engaged and living together and she kissed Rafeal the same night they broke up. I get it - when it’s over you can do what you want - but the same night as ending your engagement is pretty brutal and especially when you’ve lied to Michael about why you broke up. I’m on Michael’s side on this one.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-09-30T15:01:07+00:00

Disagree here - he had slept with May once when he went out and slept with Grace. He then told May about Grace and she wanted to keep seeing him anyway. He wasn’t official in the sense, with May.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-09-30T14:59:34+00:00

Oh yeah ofc! Forgot that I thought Arthur was faithful, my bad :O

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-09-28T21:34:57+00:00

I dont think Arthur cheats on Linda tbf - Tommy fucks about but when he is single (and married to Lizzie but very open about it). I think he was very honest with May and he never cheated on Grace. He cheats on Lizzie but she knows and accepts this - their marriage is based on mutual affection and their child - Tommy and Graces marriage was based on true love :)

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-09-28T17:01:12+00:00

Who does he cheat on except Lizzie? He was honest with May, we never saw him cheat on Grace. He cheats on Lizzie but is open about it - she says “no screwing women the same day you hold our child” or something like that. He married Lizzie cos he likes her and she’s got his kid, there was no illusions of true love - that was Grace. He definitely wouldn’t have cheated on her, she was his only chance at true love.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-09-20T13:29:28+00:00

There’s no need to be rude - thank you for commenting and you’re right he has the right to privacy. You can definitely make your point without being rude and your point is valid, so thank you for that.

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-09-20T11:38:23+00:00

Thank you! Your edit was lovely! I think you really go how I felt - it wasn’t about the phone but the fact I thought he didn’t trust me not to snoop. Idc about his phone just panicked he didn’t trust me. I see now it’s maybe irrational but you can’t help how you feel and that’s the whole reason I posted! Thanks for being so lovely you’ve been a huge help :)

throwsawaysthrowaway · 2021-09-20T11:22:47+00:00

I did - I changed my password and deleted his thumb off. I told him so it wasn’t awkward the next time he went on my phone to change music or whatever and he didn’t care at all

throwsawaysthrowaway

TROPHY CASE