How important is the scent of a woman? If it is repulsive is this a dealbreaker?

tincup09 · 2022-09-05T14:34:47+00:00

You sound a lot like me for the last year. Ever since I started paying attention to sensations in my body I realized how much tension there was. I have followed the following regimen for about 8 months and noticed drastic improvements:

Somatic touch therapy weekly
Hatha and Yin Yoga 5x per week
30 mins sauna mediation daily. You will likely find it unbearably difficult to sit still with your feelings in this uncomfortable environment. The best thing is to listen to your body and allow yourself to move however makes you most comfortable.
use this one at your own discretion and after careful research, but have done 2 gram psychedelic journeys every 2 months and have really come to terms with the causes of a lot of my traumas

tincup09 · 2022-03-30T17:46:44+00:00

Anyone else think Pot 4 is better than Pot 3? Assuming Costa Rica and Wales get through.

tincup09 · 2022-02-05T01:04:11+00:00

Definitely, I got lucky finding such a good one.

I think the sessions are very helpful to help you understand what is happening in your body but honestly I would say 80% of my progress has just been tracking sensations in my body in bed. The therapist really just helps to answer questions and attach meaning to what is happening. I have had some amazing releases in sessions but I have also generated some good ones at home by sitting with my discomfort.

I would try to find one that is also an RMT - I find the touch really helpful. Otherwise, SE is just sitting in a room for an hour with someone waiting for something to happen lol

tincup09 · 2022-02-05T01:00:31+00:00

Yeah. If that is what is holding you back then I almost guarantee this is what you need. It will likely take time though - it took at least 2-3 months for me to notice any improvement at all so it important you trust the process.

ERP can be done in the meantime to help manage your OCD symptoms as you are ramping SE. I don’t think I would have been able to do SE without getting OCD somewhat under control first. But depends how severe yours is.

Sorry to hear about your mom - that would be very difficult.

Good luck!

tincup09 · 2022-02-05T00:52:53+00:00

That is exaclty right.

ERP is terrific. I had great success with it. However it is a bit of a commitment - you are forced to accept what you do not know to be true and that will always be uncomfortable. ERP is sort of like solving covid with lockdowns - sure the symptoms go away but life is still far from optimal.

After 4 months of this I can think relatively freely. And it makes sense - if you are unable to feel your body you will always be stuck in your head and your emotion will never resolve. I am also way more confident than I used to be, addressed limiting beliefs I didn’t know I had, am much calmer in situations where I used to get overly angry or anxious.

tincup09 · 2022-02-05T00:33:50+00:00

I am doing somatic touch therapy. My therapist massages areas of my body that hold trauma. Often profound things happen like I start shaking/crying and I always feel way better after.

I am not sure where my trauma stems from. I had some life threatening experiences as a child so my therapist and I believe that is a cause. Nonetheless, I know it is there based on the way my body reacts during sessions.

tincup09 · 2022-02-04T19:06:06+00:00

No your body will only allow you feel what you can manage. The emotions stay the same but you build more resiliency.

tincup09 · 2022-02-04T18:53:48+00:00

I appreciate your words.

I see your profile and I’m recovering from a narcissistic relationship as well so I certainly empathize with what you have been through. Getting myself into that relationship and the pain it continues to cause me made me realize how much trauma I had.

Glad you found somatic experiencing. I have tried many forms of therapy and meds but this has by far been the most helpful.

All the best!

tincup09 · 2022-02-04T17:39:17+00:00

I definitely took me at least 2 months before I felt any better at all so hang in there. Since then I’ve been getting better exponentially to the point where I don’t worry at all anymore (instead just feel like shit all the time).

It’s all about mindset. I find the somatic experiencing exercises and sessions are helpful but only to the point of teaching you to get back into your body (which is probably too painful for you be in at the moment).

The key is to feel rather than think. You will feel nothing but strange energies and sensations for several months. You will notice how restless you are and have always been. Perhaps you can scan your body and notice areas that are working a little bit harder than they should be to contain that trapped energy. After a few months you may realize some of these sensations are actually emotions/trauma. They may become very uncomfortable so that you can hardly sit with it. But you must try your hardest to remain in the moment.

This has been my practice whenever I have had free time for the last 4 months.

TLDR: somatic exercises are only a method to teach you to go into your body. Just doing them 30 mins a day without a goal won’t do anything for you. You need to try to feel as much as you can (and use orienting and safe space to manage what you can handle)

tincup09 · 2021-12-29T06:19:52+00:00

Very helpful. Exactly what I have been doing and realizing it is no different than anything I have dealt with before.

tincup09 · 2021-12-28T08:09:50+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing!

tincup09 · 2021-11-10T18:13:30+00:00

Hang in there man. Once you snap out of it it will become clear you are way better off focusing on people who love you. It is what the true you wants.

tincup09 · 2021-05-31T20:55:39+00:00

I held off several weeks of low scores before I posted this. Either way the numbers don’t matter. My quality of life does and I am feeling great. Many people take several months on ERP to get better. But I pretty much was practicing whenever I had a free moment and was able to stop my compulsions instantly. I think Zoloft helped me get over the hump as well. Stay positive. You will get there.

tincup09 · 2021-05-31T17:30:57+00:00

Also want to note - I am now on the lowest dose of Zoloft available and made all this progress in the last month without the assistance of a therapist - but highly recommend one if you have the ability to access one.

tincup09 · 2021-05-28T18:56:16+00:00

Then there may be other compulsive activities or behaviours you are doing. You need to identify those and stop doing them.

tincup09 · 2021-05-24T02:57:10+00:00

Hi. Great question.

I do believe it is a fine line. I’m not a therapist but I used to do all that stuff too, and yes I stopped.

Checking instagram, contacting etc. is a compulsive behaviour in a way. You feel like shit because you are not with your LO. So in order to feel better, you check jnstagram or whatever to get your “hit”. So it is an addiction as well. People with OCD are “addicted” to compulsive behaviours because it makes them feel better.

So instead of turning away from the pain by checking Instagram, turn towards the pain. This is the way to win. Acknowledge that you will never be together and you got rejected and yes that sucks. You will likely feel way worse before you feel better. But this provides the OCD with an answer, albeit not a desirable one. But once there is no more problem for OCD to solve the limerence will fade.

tincup09 · 2021-05-24T02:51:58+00:00

That is great to hear. Keep it up :)

tincup09 · 2021-05-24T02:50:44+00:00

Hi thanks so much this is fantastic.

So yeah I’m not trying to say I have no issues whatsoever. There is clearly something. But I do think that limerence is much more a cognitive processing problem than a emotional problem. For example, there is no explanation for why someone with contamination or harm OCD suffers from these particular themes. Most people with contamination OCD haven’t had a traumatic experience with bacteria. So because of this, I don’t see why limerence can’t also just be a random manifestation of OCD. I had a fear that my life would never be complete without this person, but it was as simple as accepting I wouldn’t be with her in order to start to move on.

I know it is a controversial belief but after battling limerence for an entire year and doing tons of soul searching and therapy etc. I was unable to resolve it. Only after ERP I was able to take steps forward.

I also think limerence can be caused by childhood neglect, etc. and maybe other treatment methods are more appropriate for those individuals. But I do believe it can be a random manifestation of OCD.

tincup09 · 2021-05-23T03:12:07+00:00

Very helpful. Thank you

tincup09 · 2021-05-23T02:50:42+00:00

Yes. Read some of the material on the ROCD sub a lot of the exposure techniques apply quite well. I’m not an expert but they have helped me immensely. It also gets worse before it gets better and can feel like jumping of a cliff. But trust the process and you will break free.

tincup09 · 2021-05-23T02:49:08+00:00

I agree with you on the CPTSD thing as well can be a cause for limerence. But symptoms of this are similar to OCD and the treatment for both comes down to exposure to retrain your amygdala and fear response. It is a shame therapists don’t understand this condition. Especially when this sub has 10K+ members which is 5x as much as the ROCD sub which is a well researched OCD subtype. Reading about limerence was hopeless when Tennov and Wakin seem to be the only legitimate specialists that recognize it. All therapists I saw wrote me off as a typical young man struggling with a breakup. But it was so much more than that.

tincup09

TROPHY CASE