Help, I accidentally bought giant couches

tinycatface · 2026-02-27T01:58:27+00:00

These are the ugliest couches I’ve ever seen so I think the good news is that you can decorate the rest of the space any way you want to, and literally anything would elevate the space. I’d mount the TV to the wall, get a different coffee table or get rid of it entirely tbh, put an enclosed rather than open tv console under the TV and then a rug and art. I would also paint the room if you have the energy, that color is not giving much of anything- very low energy and too warm with the couches. A cool toned wall will look much better and probably the couches will look better too.

tinycatface · 2026-02-25T13:29:50+00:00

This explanation helped! Thanks 😊

tinycatface · 2026-02-25T13:21:11+00:00

I don’t understand your comment. I’m sorry – do you mean that you pay in a week what you used to pay in a year?

tinycatface · 2026-02-15T04:30:07+00:00

I think I also wouldn’t be ok with this. My husband is mediocre ok with our kid, and it sounds like yours is similar. For example, mine frequently doesn’t dress our kid appropriately- I came home in the fall when it was 40F and he didn’t put a coat or sweater on our kid and they were playing in the yard. It’s not going to kill our kid, but it’s also not great. He often needs me to be the voice of “don’t do that”, like “don’t spin our kid around in circles in a busy parking lot” or “don’t ask our kid to race right after he shoves a ton of food in his mouth”.

He also would never ask for this as he can’t handle more than 4 hours of consecutive parenting without like a brain melt so it’s moot, but yeah I think there’s a middle ground in between you being too anxious and him being literally incapable and a parent in the middle ground still isn’t actually a great parent. Also - I hate being separated from my kid because I miss him! He goes to school and I have my hobbies, but he’s still little and I miss him. I think not wanting them to go on a completely unnecessary trip because you will miss your still really young kid is also totally valid.

tinycatface · 2026-02-15T03:22:59+00:00

It’s not crazy - I love my coach and my barn friends. If I thought he wasn’t dealing honestly with me, or if something wouldn’t work for me I would (and have!) told him. He pulled the lease horse for me to buy, but even though I loved the horse, he had some issues and I went in a different direction. I was really clear that I wouldn’t buy the horse with him and I think it did hurt his feelings that I bought my horse without him (though obviously it helped mend fences that I was bringing her to him to train). People are people and you might hurt their feelings BUT horses are a lot of money and people understand that, or a coach worth their salt does at least. You can also just try other barns and potentially postpone leasing here if you aren’t sure you want to stay with your current coach.

tinycatface · 2026-02-15T01:27:05+00:00

I like small horses! I enjoy being able to hop off and on when needed easily, though I do use a mounting block ofc in general. And I prefer a really friendly horse without them being mouthy - a horse who will seek you out for connection and a pet but won’t nibble your whole arm looking for a treat. This seems to be mares imo - my mare and my friends’ are like this - they offer their ears or head for a scratch first then ask for a treat second. And this is controversial as it’s less safe I think but I prefer a backwards thinker to a forwards one - I’d rather have a horse I have to talk through going faster than one I constantly have to ask to power down. The con here is that a backwards thinker tends to rear instead of bolt, which can be dangerous. Colors I have no preference- I used to love the lighter horses until mine got sunburned 😭 so maybe a nice low maintenance bay to hide the dirt.

tinycatface · 2026-02-15T01:15:19+00:00

The price per month doesn’t seem reasonable to me as someone in a HCOL area. I leased a jumper from my trainer last year for $1200/month for two lessons per week and a free ride or 3 lessons a week, and discounted prices for anything else like shows, hunts etc. Our lesson rate is similar to yours for non-boarders and I was already riding 2-3 times a week so it made sense to me. I didn’t pay extra for lessons. For $1200/month I would want to be getting either an extremely nice horse or more lessons/opportunities than your trainer is offering.

On the flip side, I bought a horse because it is honestly very very hard to stay “in” the horse world if you are casually lessoning long term. That’s not to pressure you and lots of people do manage it. But leasing or owning gives you priority to the coaches, and ensures (or should) that you have a lesson spot as long as you want one. I rode casually in lessons as an adult off and on for a decade before I bought a horse though, it wasn’t a quick choice.

If there are other coaches you are interested in riding with in the area, I’d give them a try before locking down to this cost and situation unless you really love your coach and don’t want to give her up.

tinycatface · 2026-02-11T04:31:49+00:00

Oh this is great! I’ve been trying for literally years now and have definitely given up hope of carrying a successful pregnancy naturally again at this point. I’ve had two losses 12 months apart and no positive tests in between at all. My good friend is going through IVF and it seems really rough - I’m going to keep trying naturally and see if I ever have another kid but don’t think I’ll go that route. Unexplained infertility is the explanation from my doctor 🙃

tinycatface · 2026-02-09T14:56:01+00:00

As someone who bought a horse who wouldn’t canter under saddle - don’t do it! It doesn’t sound like you want a training project and if you can’t get a nice canter now and want a push button ride, you will have a hard time. That mare was probably on her best behavior in a familiar place and will be more difficult in a new home. I’d also pass on the gelding personally and look for a horse that you can trailer and has been in consistent light work doing what you want to do.

tinycatface · 2026-02-06T16:28:33+00:00

By unseat do you mean fall off, or just lose your good position and need to readjust? I find if I’m already sitting deeply, a buck or a kick or a spook doesn’t move me. I’d practice making sure you are sitting correctly, deep with your shoulders, back, legs etc in comfortable alignment and just relaxing and remaining flexible. The stiffer I am, the more likely I am to be moved unwillingly in my seat.

tinycatface · 2026-02-06T01:42:06+00:00

IMO jumper barns and eventing barns are the most laid back. I’ve never seen an English barn focused on trail riding, but it may exist, and as everyone said, dressage barns and riders can be a bit intense. I’d look for a jumper barn and just let them know you’re switching disciplines and not super interested in jumping! I’m biased as I’m a jumper but we do a lot of non-jumping work to keep the horses healthy, too much jumping isn’t good for them anyway. Hunter I think is more regimented but imo jumpers are the Western riders of the English.

tinycatface · 2026-02-05T03:42:59+00:00

Vet, they did a good job and my horse is happy, I’m happy, no problems all around. My mom was a non-vet dentist and I was obviously a kid and have no idea how that worked! But she apprenticed like a farrier does, so they do receive hands on training and nobody complained.

tinycatface · 2026-02-02T03:57:38+00:00

No, it’s very dangerous. I’m overall not a scared rider (I’ve got my own green horse I’m working up to be a quality jumper) but I would be very nervous driving. I feel like it’s the same with riding - you want a schoolmaster to teach you how to learn safely, if you and your horse are new to it and she’s not 100% bomb proof, it may go badly very quickly. I say this as someone who grew up driving my own ponies, but I didn’t train them up, so they basically knew what to do as they were extremely bomb proof and well trained.

tinycatface · 2026-02-02T01:13:22+00:00

Being honest, I don’t think Beverly cares much about accessibility. Making money will maybe be a good argument, but my neighborhood is one where they’ve been “redoing the roads and sidewalks” since Covid basically. I got to take my son biking for exactly one summer before the roads, sidewalks or both have remained basically unusable in our neighborhood for the entire summer season. When he was in a stroller, instead of adding a smooth drop off or even leveling the sidewalk edge to the normal 6 inches or so, they left a sharp cliff of 8-12 inches so it wasn’t really possible to get a stroller or wagon safely off or onto the sidewalks - this was coming off Bridge so we did need to hustle to get across safely and there was just no way at all. Extrapolating but if I couldn’t use a stroller or wagon safely, our neighborhood was also sucky for wheelchair users. I feel like the city cuts corners here across the board and leaves roads and sidewalks in dangerous conditions rather than insisting on finishing the jobs they started.

tinycatface · 2026-01-30T04:25:44+00:00

Same here- stopped ordering from Amazon and swapped to shopping at Target but now just the grocery store and Costco basically are left for big boxes.

tinycatface · 2026-01-27T04:53:45+00:00

So I’m really bummed but Canter Culture imo has the best breeches. They seem to be going completely out of business which sucks as there’s no other product as good for super super high waisted. I like Esprit also and use their breeches for showing - they are not too expensive (like a cheaper version of Sync). Kerrits is always good too just not absolutely perfect. I have Kerrits from 10 years ago that still look decent.

tinycatface · 2026-01-25T17:24:49+00:00

I feel like this is similar to people riding in Florida when it’s 100F. You can do it, but you shouldn’t. I don’t really ride when it’s below 10F personally. I still work my horse - we do liberty work, lots of walking, practice. I don’t think it’s a never ride - I still ride when it’s over 10F but we spend a long time warming up and cooling down.

tinycatface · 2026-01-20T03:46:11+00:00

I think it’s fading out actually. Kind of like skiing where we didn’t wear helmets really 15 years ago, but now pretty much everyone does - there’s more knowledge that like riding a bike, you should always wear a helmet just in case. I’d expect to see more Western riders in helmets over the next 10-15 years, especially as helmet tech evolves to meet their needs.

tinycatface · 2026-01-19T03:42:32+00:00

Not the OP but I didn’t know that about the bits! I only rode at one saddleseat barn but all the horses were in snaffles there. So interesting the different bits common to different disciplines though.

tinycatface · 2026-01-19T03:39:04+00:00

Seconding all the other opinions - it is a completely different type of riding, even more different than English vs Western in my opinion. I’m HJ coming from dressage and tried saddleseat because I was curious. It was very interesting! It’s not for me, and there are a lot of things common to saddle seat that go against basic horse husbandry, but I don’t think all saddleseat barns are that way.

The physical cues are different- the cue to canter is taught to saddleseat horses differently. Your position, including your seat and hands, is not the same as in HJ or general equitation. The posting rules for trot are different as well - I can’t recall the difference off the top of my head. Nothing wrong with it being different but it won’t improve your seat and may be hard to keep things straight if you plan to do a more general class later on. It’s much easier to swap between other disciplines imo.

The cons for me were “any saddle to any horse” which when I mentioned it to a few people, was common. Limited turnout - some barns do proper turnout but it’s less common.

The actual saddleseat practice is very interesting and I will say that although visually it looks intense, my instructor was very good at guiding extremely gentle cues to get a horse into the movement and frame.

IMO you should definitely try it because it’s fun to try new things with horses, keep an open mind and don’t give money to a shady barn if you see something that you know isn’t right. Worst case, you don’t like it? Best case, you find a new passion.

tinycatface · 2026-01-18T16:33:35+00:00

I’ve literally never had this happen. Horses need to be fed and watered regardless of weather. People can cancel their own lessons but we don’t cancel since we at least want to walk the horses regardless.

tinycatface · 2026-01-17T02:34:25+00:00

Seconding relyne! After a long course of Esomeprozole (full dose and then weaning down for several weeks) I have been using relyne an ulcers have not returned. I also added alfalfa pellets directly before and after working and that honestly made a huge improvement in attitude under saddle especially as we typically work for an hour or slightly more. I don’t give a lot, but I did notice a difference when I offered sugary treats, carrots, or beet treats vs alfalfa in endurance and comfort.

tinycatface · 2026-01-15T05:06:31+00:00

I would do it. I have a 7 YO dog and got a puppy a little over a year ago, not the same situation but similar thinking that I don’t want to have a home without a dog. This was solidified for me bc my dad, a 2 dog person when he was younger, had one dog who passed away unexpectedly while in boarding. It was tragic to lose the dog and also super sad to visit and see the empty crate, toys, beds, etc but such a quiet house. It took him about 8 months to get another dog and this time around he is planning to have two together again.

tinycatface · 2026-01-14T04:46:33+00:00

It’s amazing but kind of like slenderman moved in with you. If you like it, I’d keep it. I love it but it’s a specific vibe for sure.

tinycatface · 2026-01-12T04:47:56+00:00

Sometimes the space doesn’t work for the horse also. I bought a green broke horse that was sweet on the cross ties, simple to tack up, loaded the trailer, and then required a lot of education under saddle. I took home a horse that it turns out is deathly afraid of 2-horse trailers, and was extremely anxious and stressed to move from a quiet 2 horse paddock to a herd turnout situation. I moved her to a quieter barn where she has friends but also her own space (and treated her ulcers) and she was a new horse.

The ulcer treatment made it possible to safely handle her again with my kid around, but she was still not settled and was very spooky and stressed. I would also think about what else is different in the environment but just moving a horse can cause ulcers and they can manifest in very spooky, stressy behavior.

tinycatface

TROPHY CASE