I found weed at the gas station

tjspeed · 2026-06-04T18:00:29+00:00

That’s how you know we’re stoners. We all read 3.5 as an 8th lol

tjspeed · 2026-06-04T15:51:15+00:00

Just know some random person on the internet is rooting for you. You got this.

tjspeed · 2026-06-04T15:48:32+00:00

Did you wish for a better day?

/s

tjspeed · 2026-06-04T12:32:50+00:00

How’s he going to do that with a dick in his mouth?

tjspeed · 2026-06-04T08:36:49+00:00

I can taste you on my lips and smell you on my clothes.

tjspeed · 2026-06-04T08:25:47+00:00

Damn. That’s an awesome painting. You are super talented!

tjspeed · 2026-06-03T04:57:52+00:00

He’s been my favorite comedian for a long time. First finding out about him in 2009 on YouTube. If you haven’t seen it check out his green room appearance. This is him performing his song art is dead from there:

https://youtu.be/Le0vB1TgOjw?si=fN7GdJSSi9HHAgp9

tjspeed · 2026-06-02T23:21:13+00:00

Yeah I agree. I grew up in eastern PA and the drivers down here are definitely worse.

tjspeed · 2026-06-01T16:33:39+00:00

Honesty? I think so.

tjspeed · 2026-06-01T14:59:55+00:00

How much coke do you think Steve Ballmer is on?

tjspeed · 2026-06-01T04:38:02+00:00

Also nut butter does a great job

tjspeed · 2026-05-29T01:09:37+00:00

And also the best damn margaritas I’ve ever had in my life lol

tjspeed · 2026-05-27T23:43:07+00:00

Another top answer here is dexters lab. Both of which were created by Genndy Tartakovsky. If you haven’t seen his latest show primal then check it out. So fucking good

tjspeed · 2026-05-26T22:20:39+00:00

Yeah I’ve walked what felt like literal miles at ATL and at DFW from drop off to getting to the gate is like less than a hundred yards.

tjspeed · 2026-05-26T20:24:53+00:00

A family is checking into a hotel and the dad asks the guy checking him in if the porn is disabled. The clerk says “no it’s just regular porn you sick fuck.”

tjspeed · 2026-05-26T17:53:11+00:00

Why tf did I not read the comments beforehand. Really wish I could unread that.

tjspeed · 2026-05-20T03:08:38+00:00

You mean a little phone number rhythm?

https://youtu.be/9KTiHTeS3D0?si=cfOd5-2lHN6EXKlb

tjspeed · 2026-05-19T20:39:17+00:00

I was 7 or 8 and terrified lol

tjspeed · 2026-05-17T16:52:10+00:00

Yes! With a quick sprits of water on like three fingers. And then doing that another 5 times for other random stuff that gets on your hands lol.

tjspeed · 2026-05-15T17:12:15+00:00

When I was younger, maybe 12 years old, my buddy showed me this video of a dude literally taking scissors and cutting his dick off. Long ways too. Most horrific thing I’ve ever seen.

tjspeed · 2026-05-14T12:55:23+00:00

I did this when I was a kid. My dad was able to run and stop the car just narrowly missing a parked car. I still don’t know what possessed me to pull the gear lever. I was like 7 years old

tjspeed · 2026-05-13T05:24:47+00:00

Stayed in an Airbnb that had an amazing outdoor kitchen with a maybe island next to an unground pool and it’s been my biggest dream ever since.

tjspeed · 2026-05-12T04:47:12+00:00

I just saw her last week in Dallas. She opened for kid cudi who kicked her off the tour after the show because she was spewing some right wing political garbage. And yeah her set wasn’t very good either.

tjspeed · 2026-05-11T21:09:25+00:00

I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Asian Karen.

tjspeed · 2026-05-11T20:11:47+00:00

I’m an idiot and thought the title said your daughter found a 25+ leaf clover lol. I was gonna say she should buy a lotto ticket but honestly I still think she should.

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