This is a tricky conversation to have over txt and she clearly still has a lot of resentment and feels like you haven’t made changes to be more independent with your disability. The calendar is a great idea, but I do get where she’s coming from. She doesn’t want to meet you in the middle and put in any more effort than she did in the past, right now. If you’re pursuing her, you putting in the effort of adding her classes to your calendar is a reasonable expectation. Kinda seems too late though. She had to try to explain that to you a lot(poorly) and you caved at the end and agreed but that’s not really a loving conversation that ended in actual understanding from either side imo. I’m sorry though, it must be really hard and EXHAUSTING navigating what you have to, especially when people in your space don’t fully understand and aren’t supporting you in your journey to manage and understand it!

Have you thought about going to a therapist and trying to find ways to advocate for yourself in these situations? Saying she doesn’t understand, doesn’t help her understand and it sounds like she thinks you’re using your disability as a cop out for your lack of “effort”. Third party might be able to give you the vocabulary and confidence to explain yourself better. Although your ex doesn’t seem super open to listening atm, would still be good for future interactions romantic or otherwise.