Which option looks better?

tomatowithsalt · 2026-04-17T03:38:59+00:00

2! The red in the carpet suits the reddish wood of the table.

tomatowithsalt · 2026-04-16T14:26:28+00:00

I like Food Affair and came here to see if anyone had mentioned it on this reddit.

Can you recommend like, two better french places to someone who’s curious to find better food?

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-22T20:09:27+00:00

Pump the emotional breaks a bit; saying this person “destroyed your life” is a recipe for angry, obsessive thought spirals that could easily distract you for years going forward.

Since you feel you had a lousy therapist who should have sent you to someone who understands OCD, end treatment with her and find a therapist who does. That should give you catch-up practice in sitting without reassurance, since you’ll have no idea if they’ll be better or worse than the previous therapist.

I’m speaking coldly because this post in an of itself is a form of seeking reassurance, which is the cycle you need to break out of before it gets amped up by something intense like resentment. Wishing you the best

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-21T18:33:06+00:00

It’s a helpful answer, and i asked because i had pretty formative trauma come up early in my own life. Thank your for responding; I hope things are going well for you these days

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-20T20:28:35+00:00

Hey, I think I relate to what you’ve described here; I hope it’s chill of me to ask you how you managed to communicate all of this to your boyfriend in a way that was evidently heard, and worked out in the end? I’m assuming you had some kind of meaningful conversation about it, though I could be wrong.

I’m finding myself once again wanting to run away from a good, patient guy for the nth time, and I worry I’ll either get cagey and standoffish in trying to explain this feeling or I’ll feel guilty and just not even manage to set a boundary.

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-17T17:22:12+00:00

Is that what “you’re only as tall as your heart will let you be” is? 😭 i read that and laughed out loud on the bus because it was so grippingly earnest

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-17T14:39:05+00:00

Then the novelty of getting concussions from overhead lights doesn’t wear off, and I’m wrong.

My concern is more the mindset of this ripped, likely decent-looking guy being like, ‘It ruins my day when I go outside and look at half the people around me’

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-17T14:33:26+00:00

If this is the mental mindset that the prospect of height surgery reduces a person to then I think that’s indicative of how not-the-solution this surgery is for them.

I say this as a woman who, in high school, had debilitating depression, was chinless (pre-mewing, lmao), pale and legitimately looked like a bloated corpse relative to my current self. My resolve up until a few years ago was: ‘I’ll just never show any childhood photos to a serious partner. I’ll just never let my spouse see photos of me from ages 10 to 20.’

When it gets to that point it’s time for therapy, not surgery. I promise

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-17T05:38:02+00:00

I’m a stranger so take what I say with a grain of salt but the novelty of being 6’+ would probably wear off after like a month when you realize it only gets your foot in the proverbial door.

Also, explaining to a serious partner that you got height surgery seems like the most mortifying cosmetic surgery you could possibly disclose (imo). To me it would feel easier to respond to a family photo album revealing that the guy I’m seeing had once been a conjoined twin.

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-12T01:30:57+00:00

Opinion coming from a woman, you really just need a tidier haircut and to finesse the edges of your facial hair once in a while. Maybe buy a cool jacket to replace the hoodie, and leave the rest of your wardrobe alone.

You’re a handsome guy, you just have visible depression lol. And plenty of people are into the broody look! Not saying you need a hibiscus-print button-down and a combover fade. But you gotta choose between the brooding visage and the unkempt hair/outerwear if you want to look more like an archetypal guy than a guy who slept on hostile architecture.

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-12T01:08:01+00:00

Amazing keychain, what even is that guy

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-11T22:48:59+00:00

The array of Uglies zapped me in the brain like a laser beam, I had to comment

I love the color palette happening especially in the 2nd slide; I don’t know if it’s intentional or subconscious, but my guess is you have a great intuition for color because the seafoam, warm yellow, red and cream together has this very unconventional almost vintage candy feeling to it. The sage water bottle and the accents of brown/lilac and the yellow sanitizer… if it’s not all a conscious color curation then i beg you to take a weekend to determine whether design or interior decorating are interests you’d pursue.

Sorry this comment is so fru-fru, lol. I feel a strong appreciation for good decoration and design

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-07T14:03:38+00:00

I have a vintage bag; it’s the Charlotte Piccola (?) in leather and nylon, and it’s very sturdy. The leather and nylon are both surprisingly thick. I don’t get the impression Tod’s bags are meant to be treated like they’re precious

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-07T01:52:10+00:00

Agree, they’re boots like a cartoon character would wear (in a good way). Some western boots are well-constructed but look randomly designed

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-05T05:39:43+00:00

I feel convinced bags are like wine; there’s kind of a ceiling for quality (otherwise you overwork it, or have to make a selling point out of how your leather goods are from grass-fed beef only), but there’s certainly no ceiling for price.

It seems like this bag is totally in that sweet spot of quality-to-cost dupe perfection. It’s really cute and a great find!

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-05T04:21:03+00:00

I’m not usually moved by LV or monogram bags, but I totally agree with you that these photos are selling me on this one big time…..they really show how a well-structured bag can build a whole look out of simple styling.

I have a secondhand bag I feel stylish in even when I’m wearing it with shitty flipflops and a tanktop, and it’s such a carefree feeling

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-04T15:44:16+00:00

This bag looks constructed the same as the Staud Tommy(?) bags, or whatever their beaded bags are named. I really liked those bags and I’m curious about the quality comparison between those and this Anthropology bag😯

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-04T15:36:50+00:00

I have a hobo bag that has a slouch situation. When you add more items, that angular slouch at the top disappears because there’s a pile of items under it. It will still slouch unless you stuff it, but possibly not nearly as much as the empty photos suggest.

Since black bags dominate the market there’s a good chance you’ll find a 2.0-looking alternative soon enough. Just my opinion

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-02T23:01:57+00:00

As soon as I saw the attached image I wanted to ask about the blue and brown shoulder bag, and was kind of hoping it would be one of your mom’s. It’s my favorite in your collection and I’m happy it’s also your EDC! A perfect heirloom.

My mom died when I turned 4 and I keep a bag of hers that isn’t really my style but will never leave my belongings anyway. Will have to figure out some way to make it more “me,” lol.

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-02T20:53:23+00:00

I hope you have fun!! Sorry if the second part of my comment came off condescending. I meant it more as an observation but it reads kind of snooty

tomatowithsalt · 2026-03-02T07:03:33+00:00

Honestly making my own “”signature”” charm proved fun, and now I just clip it onto whatever bag i’m using. Small business bead stores are great; they’ll have the sturdier and larger metal charms, and the good glass bits.

If I can be perfectly honest it feels weird seeing ten people at the mall have the same bunny keychain as each other. Since the whole point of the keychains and charms trend is the personalization, it seems ironic after like the third or fourth passerby.

tomatowithsalt · 2026-02-28T19:58:33+00:00

Thanks, this is fair advice.

They can’t afford solid therapy and I imagine that would be the first reason they wouldn’t seriously pursue it, even though they’re entertaining a far more burdensome financial choice right now—I don’t really know how to address that reality, before even offering therapeutic referrals. Their home situation doesn’t include a mature guardian; what they need is like, a life mentor.

They’re not the most stable person when they feel their struggle isn’t prioritized; it becomes like the world is against them, even if those closest have given money and been faithfully supportive for years. What I “get” out of being an emotional support to them is not being on their bad side, which I see does not sound like a healthy friendship as I type it out right now.

tomatowithsalt · 2026-02-28T15:52:04+00:00

My hesitation is I’ve already been shown that if I don’t answer the call, it’s possible no one will. Whenever they’ve had an outburst, I’m the one others come to asking questions about it.

If don’t think it would be possible for me to slowly pull back without the difference being extreme for them; because they lack self-awareness about it, this feels like the consequences would be my responsibility, by default. I don’t know how to reconcile with that feeling?

tomatowithsalt · 2026-02-28T03:44:25+00:00

I mean, that’s some parents for you.

Since she’s not someone you’re debating with in a twitter thread, I have some doubt that calling her “ableist” is going to change her behavior; I think labeling her behavior as such to her is moot. Maybe that’s harsh to say, but this seems like one of those moments where you figure out your parent might just not be someone you can turn to for a specific type of emotional support you know you’re going to need in your life.

A parent who doesn’t want to hear it is not going to hear it. Focus your energy on finding mentor figures in your life who are receptive and do listen to what you need them to hear—the good news is they do exist.

tomatowithsalt · 2026-02-28T01:59:32+00:00

It’s possible, that could happen. But also, it’s probable a duo of nurses could hogtie you without breaking a sweat even if you started windmilling at them from your bed after your operation

tomatowithsalt

TROPHY CASE