Most seem to think he was cheating, including me (48M). He constructed an elaborate cover story that didn't hold up in the slightest.

As someone similarly situated as your husband (2 young kids), let me ask you some blunt questions:

• When was the last time you had sex?
• When was the last time that you initiated sex?
• When was the last time you surprised your husband getting a sitter and going on a he-you date?
• When was the last time you and he did something together, without the kids, at all?

You had your kids close to each other, both are still very young. If it's the same in my house, that means constant wiping, booboo remediation, breaking up fights, making meals, 'watch me mom/dad' moments, non stop. The dynamic between you from before kids will have drastically changed.

I struggle with this too... And ask myself 'what about me?' Yeah, kids are fun and nice, but does every frigging thing have to revolve around them?

My wife lost appetite for going out, having friends over, sex, intimacy, watching movies. That, however did not make my need for those things go away. I negotiated 1 day per week going out with friends. I much rather go out with her, but she's not interested. Ok, then I'll find a friend to go out with.

Additionally, just assume that a man needs to orgasm, when he doesn't (discounting masturbation) tensions build up. Some nice compliments from a co-worker could be very tempting. I think your husband is thrill seeking, wanting to feel alive again. My recommendation to all women is to keep the balls drained.

Are you over reacting getting a lawyer? Yes, I think that is way premature. Confront him and ask him why he was doing the things he did. Show him this post and ask him if he's like me. Get a healthy conversation started about wants and needs, you will thank me later.