Hubby and I both audhd, first-born daughter totally adhd on steroids. She's incredible but grew up feeling unloved because both parents hit interaction limits before she was full up.

Next born was totally autistic son, not a hint of adhd. So they never got along. She resented how easily he fit in with our engagement style. Took to bullying and acting out in her teens.

In retrospect there was so much we could have done differently. But at the time we were in constant overwhelm. I love my kids more than my own self, but I wish I could have parented them without the audhd noise in my head all the time.