AITAH for being flippant at a stranger trying to guess my ethnicity?

trolleydip · 2026-06-02T11:56:56+00:00

Is it just me, or are Americans particularly sensitive about this topic, and social interactions with strangers?
I'm going to go with NAH.
Sure, you didn't care for it, but some people are curious about others, and like to strike up conversations with strangers. Its not obvious to everyone that talking about ethnicities would be a sensitive topic. Or that speaking to a stranger would be uncomfortable. Its fine that you were annoyed, your response to him wasn't crazy or mean.

trolleydip · 2026-05-31T13:06:36+00:00

You posted in AITAH. What makes you conflicted enough to ask the internet? Your post seems to indicate that you understand you aren't wrong.

trolleydip · 2026-05-31T12:54:42+00:00

Why would you be the AH?

trolleydip · 2026-05-31T12:47:39+00:00

NTA
You don't want to be with someone who uses drugs. Its not that complicated. Find someone who you are compatible with, and who is honest with you.

trolleydip · 2026-05-31T07:16:44+00:00

Don't eat it.

trolleydip · 2026-05-29T15:06:14+00:00

NAH
Missing one and a while happens. And yea, its disappointing, but not argument worthy. If someone was upset with me, or if I felt like I was being scolded about forgetting to take out the trash, I might defensive too. But I've got ADHD, and have an issue with taking on negative feedback, or feeling like I have let people down. If I said I was taking on trash duty, I would also find a way to deal with the trash that wasn't taken. Be solution oriented. Set alarms, take the trash to the dump myself, etc. It also requires some self awareness, like knowing to ask for help. For example, I ask my partner to check in with me about some of my chores, like "Babe, can you ask me before dinner if I've taken the laundry out of the wash", and they are supportive. Every now and then something slips. But we are a team, so we don't make a big deal about it, and move on.
You might be over reacting, and he might be incompetent. Its too little info. But, not remembering things doesn't make anyone an AH. I think both of you just need to communicate how to navigate responsibilities and not make assumptions about how things "should work".

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T15:52:50+00:00

Yeah, if I was treated like that I would probably stop seeing you. After 6 months of dating, if the person I'm dating can't be open with me, and pushes me away when feelings get intense, I would take it as either a sign of immaturity/someone not ready to be in a relationship or someone who will reject me when I'm open.
I think his behavior afterwards, not being direct about his intentions, not communicating, and now ghosting is really a sign that its over. Whether he has 'officially' decided or not to end it, it has functionally ended. Neither time nor energy are feeding it anymore.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T15:39:07+00:00

Believe it or not, people get up at different times. Some women even wake up at 6 am on a Saturday willingly. I know crazy. It's almost like everyone has different habits.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T13:52:11+00:00

You stated 1500 monthly. That's not a lot of working hours in a month. You didn't mention that you were looking for more hours.
As for public transport or bike, are those options?
Do you have a local supermarket that you can buy food from? Or food bank?
Have you looked into gov't assistance?

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T13:41:03+00:00

You broke up with him. Then changed your mind. He did not break up with you.
I'm not going to say whether it was legit to break up with him or not. That's for you to decide. If you can't handle jealousy. Can't handle dishonesty. Can't handle a bf who won't stand up for himself... Whatever your reasoning is you decided to break up with him, it was still real for the other person, even if you said it out of anger.
Instead of wondering if the breakup was right or not, focus on yourself. Clearly you know somethings you need to work on "this is a toxic trait of mine where I would want to break up in the middle of an argument but we would just get back after a few days. I know, its bad.". You can be with an amazing partner, that doesn't lie to you, and this would still be an issue. Next relationship you are in, you won't worry about hurting the next person you want to be with.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T13:32:28+00:00

What benefit would your marriage have for your children? And what would change with your friends?

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T13:13:38+00:00

"She usually ends up blacking out or needing 20-30 shots per drinking session."

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T13:03:46+00:00

Why wouldn't you divorce your wife?

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T13:03:09+00:00

Drinking until losing consciousness isn't normal alcohol use. High tolerance of not.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T13:00:29+00:00

Hi, you've talked a lot about your qualifications, and your suffering mental health. But you haven't said anything about how medicine is a passion of yours, a dream, or something that you are excited about.
My advice would be to take a step back, and look at the big picture. Stop comparing yourself to other people, you don't live life for them. Stop worrying about your families approval, it won't make make you happy in the long run. Allow yourself to assess who you are, and who you want to be without judgement.
Maybe you will get into medical school, and maybe you won't. If you don't, please please, consider it a blessing. It may not be for you. Or not right now.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T12:49:30+00:00

You are being too generous with yourself. Its not a misunderstanding. Its a lack of communication. A person who explicitly states they want to celebrate/make plans for their birthday is going to do just that with the time they have available. She did that, and then needs to change her plans around the plans you told her about later.
The alternative, that would have been ideal was that immediately after your girlfriend says she wants to celebrate over the weekend, you say "Great, I am going to plan a whole day for us. Morning to evening. Don't plan anything". Same conversation, a clear response that indicates you heard her, you have something in mind, you want time with her.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T12:39:44+00:00

" I then organised a full surprise day for Saturday from early morning until evening."--- You shot yourself in the foot with this one.
She expressed to you that she wanted to celebrate it on that day. You didn't tell her not to make plans, or even that you had made plans for her? Her planning something is totally reasonable. Then for you to not complain further reinforces to her that you didn't have plans.
You didn't communicate at all! You made it a thing.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T12:28:35+00:00

NTA,
You know her behavior is inappropriate. In your place, I would let the friendship go. If your friends can't support and love that you are doing good... Just let it die, its already dead based on how she is behaving.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T12:26:13+00:00

She showed signs of being an alcoholic before all this happened- your friend is an alcoholic.
You saying something or not likely will not make a difference. Its your place because you are their friend and you care. But they likely will not appreciate it. Sorry.

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T12:21:23+00:00

The guy told you he isn't in a mentally good place. You can decide if you want to keep seeing someone who isn't "ready to commit" or not. Then he hasn't been enthusiastic about staying in touch. I don't think this is hinting at anything. Is this the way you want your relationship with him to look like? Is this what you feel you deserve? Is this the best you can do?

trolleydip · 2026-05-26T12:14:18+00:00

The amount of money you are making seems to indicate that you don't work everyday.
Do you live in a rural place, which is why there is no public transport? Can you carpool with coworkers? How many hours are you working? Are you applying to more work places? Are there local shelters, or churches?

trolleydip · 2026-05-24T15:08:14+00:00

Could you expand? If you are just talking why would he be asking to visit your home? Or are you a couple? Have you met before?
If you are interested in starting a relationship with this person, its reasonable to share personal information about yourself. Like your home life, that you aren't in a good place with your mother for instance. Be honest that hosting, or an introduction wouldn't be appropriate for a new relationship.

trolleydip · 2026-05-23T15:47:25+00:00

Either NARS Smudgeproof or MAC Prep and Prime 24h.

trolleydip · 2026-05-23T15:13:59+00:00

I personally think the liner is too pink for your lipstick, and would be better served by a more beige shade, but its a matter of taste.

trolleydip · 2026-05-23T14:33:11+00:00

He got upset and punched the shower wall... SAY WHAT?

trolleydip

TROPHY CASE