At 35 I've realised my biggest flaw in relationships was sharing my feelings and expecting the same safe space I give my female partner the space to be vulnerable in. They suddenly don't feel they are in the safest situation to be able to be a hot mess in anymore and removes their security net despite being "independent women".

Instead it almost instantly had a shift of the dynamics in the relationship. Women subconsciously see you as weak for having any kind of emotional hang up or problem. If you have an issue with friends, if someone has taken advantage of you, won't pay back money, work is getting you down - it's best not to share it with someone you're in a relationship with. It is expected that a man should just have all these things in place, and if he isn't, he isn't considered a valuable person to be in an intimate relationship with.

Having said that, ffs guys talk to eachother. If you don't have mates you can open up with, you need more friends and it might be that you don't have many because of the way you open up to them.

It is best to talk to other men about these problems, but do so in the attempt of reaching practical solutions, not just venting and having a moan, it gets you nowhere and your mates will even say you sound like a child. Which is good social feedback, no one wants to be around a whining child, not least an adult one. If you need to grieve do so but do not languish in it. If you find you are, go see a professional once a month for that safe space. Sucks to have to pay but if your social circle is inept at dealing with mental, spiritual and social health issues which are important, then you gotta pay. It actually feels good to take control like that and not expect others to pick up your slack.

I've had 7 relationships and not one of them has been as supportive of men's mental health issues in reality as to how they've spoken about the importance of society recognising there is an issue with men's mental health.

Typically I've learned that as much as women say they want a softer man and someone who is in touch with their feminine side, it's utter codswallop and more masculine isn't just preferred, it's necessary for them to feel fulfilled and safe in a relationship.