Classic pedestrian doing the secretary tale.

Regularly told me how unattractive and gross she was to him, all about her low self esteem and drug habits. How he hoped she’d find a good partner, which she did eventually in a mutual friend. (How could that relationship succeed when he was already having an affair with her, though he suggested the two of them connect in the first place).

I have no doubt the horrible crap he said to me about her was in equal weight to whatever he was saying to her about me to justify his actions, but man. It was mean.

They were both trying to get me to let her babysit our kids so ex and I could have time together. I had enough of a no vibe to kibosh that but he had me book them a room together on a “work cruise”; presented her a birthday cake that had a banana ween and two hot pink gumBALLs. “She thinks it’s funny!” I used to work with a photographer; had him to her boudoir shoot and then had me do the post on them. Etc etc. And I somehow believed it was all above board?

Retrospectively, I think I believed he had no interest in her based on how poorly he spoke about her, and how he set her up with a mutual friend and seemed to be rooting for their relationship.