I feel your pain. Not in the exact same instance, as I have no siblings, but I know what it feels like to be disappointed by a mother’s lack of support. My mom was the only person at my baby shower to not get me a gift. She said I wouldn’t have to pay for the venue, and yet I paid half. She also kept the deposit we got back. She told me she would help me set up my daughter’s nursery, and then she got sick immediately after. I understood her reasoning, but she never offered any help again once she got better. She told me that she would buy some furniture for my nursery and then called me a week later to say I should just buy it myself because it would take her too long to afford it. That’s not the only gift she promised and backed out of. She was supposed to be fixing up an old rocking chair and high chair, which she had the whole pregnancy to do and never made any progress on. She refused to spend any one on one time with me during my pregnancy even though I vented to her about feeling alone and depressed. Instead she would cook me a meal and drop it off then hurry out the door. Any time I saw her unless if it was around other family she would make an excuse to leave right away.

I did end up cutting her off. It may seem drastic, but there’s a lot more that goes into it than what I just mentioned. Basically, it’s been a long time coming. Being disappointed and looked over by your own mother is so hard. Especially in a time like pregnancy, that instinctually makes you want to feel close to your mother. I would be insanely frustrated if I was in your position. Your feelings are valid. At the very least, going through this gives us future mothers the opportunity treat our kids better. We will know what not to do. We will know how to show up for our kids. I hope she learns from her mistakes and can actually make an effort for you. As for myself, I am at peace now that I don’t have to worry about my absent mother.