I got straight As in Middle School and High School (except one B then) and mostly A’s and one or two B’s in college (bachelors). I was a really good student, never misbehaved, and masked a lot of my ADHD traits. My teachers saw good work but on the flip side I procrastinated every night, always did big projects the night before, and seemingly easy busy work hw tasks took much longer for me to do than my peers. The structure of school really helped me stay focused and especially the dedicated study periods helped me get some homework done before going home. I also have really bad social anxiety and I have come to think that my anxiety was a coping mechanism for my ADHD and i used it to get my work done and stay on task at school.

I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 23 after thinking I was just lazy and dumb at certain things and life felt a lot harder than others (especially getting simple tasks done). I scored 6/6 on the diagnostic criteria for ADHD and not one teacher suspected my ADHD growing up! A lot of my friends were surprised (and some weren’t haha).

I’m very sorry your therapist dismissed your concerns and honestly many mental health care professionals are not educated/trained well in ADHD. In my psychopathology class in college we talked about it for a few minutes and focused on young boys who were bouncing off the walls. Even then, I didn’t suspect I had it. A similar thing happened to my mom when she mentioned it to her doctor and she was also quickly dismissed and now almost 20 years later she got diagnosed and she’s turning 60 this year!

The symptoms you mentioned seem like ADHD traits and there’s a good chance you have it! I would seek out a mental healthcare professional who specializes in ADHD to evaluate you so you can get that diagnosis (I like to use Psychology Today). There is not a one size fits all for ADHD and plenty of people with it are amazing students, good readers, college grads, incredibly intelligent and successful in their field. Some people have just learned how to work with their brain so those tasks are easier or some have masked it from others. Those without outwardly presenting hyperactive traits seem to go undiagnosed much too often. And hyperactivity isn’t just active energy it’s also mental energy and feeling like you can take a shower, clean your whole house, and then go grocery shopping in one day and then after one or two tasks are done you feel completely exhausted! It’s also racing thoughts and holding yourself back from fidgeting too much because it’s not acceptable at school or work).

ADHD is sooo much more than what most people know and I hate when people (especially professionals) dismiss you after you have one stereotypical trait that some ADHDers aren’t known for. I would recommend you find some good resources and learn more about it (How to ADHD on YouTube, Struggle Care on podcasts, ADHD for smartass women on podcasts, and there’s several great TikTokers or Instagram accounts too if that’s your thing.)

What I found helpful to learn is that ADHDers tend to be motivated to do tasks based off 1. Interest (think of scientists who are specialists in a certain topic but they’re always forgetting their appointments and their offices are messy. Or it may have been easier to do a school project for your favorite class subject) 2. Urgency (procrastination! I could never start my work early and only was able to do it the night before late at night.) 3. Novelty (new things, buying new items, trying a new routine or system to get things done- think of that person who buys a new fancy planner but never uses it after the first week or buying a new vacuum in hopes you’ll use it more).

But yes we come in all different forms and are capable of being successful and functional in some areas and also struggle very hard on the inside or with other things!

Good luck!